These last few weeks have been the most stressful weeks I have ever lived in my life. He ruined my life, and every second I find myself wishing I had never met him. My life would have been so much easier and now less depressing. Its been a little over two weeks since I ended it between us, and at first it didn't seem hard, but now it's all I can think about. I don't regret my decision, I just wish I would have known the ending in the beginning, so I could have prepared myself, but life doesn't work that way. I remember the night I met him. I was staying the night at one of my friends house's off campus, and he was a friend of her brothers, who was also in college. He came with his friend, who was actually Wilson. We all were talking and just having fun enjoying the stress free night. At first I didn't really know I was into him, but as the night went on I began to notice things about him. His eyes were the first thing, a shade of blue I have never seen before, and I am a sucker for both blue and brown eyes.
By the end of that night I knew there was something special about him, and when they finally left at about four in the morning thats all I could think of as I fell asleep, and the first thing I thought about when I woke up. My friend thought he was totally into me, and at first I didn't believe it. And I would be wondering for another three months.
I had actually forgotten about that night until I got a note slipped under my dorm room, and it was from him. He was having a party and invited me, but I had plans that night, and I felt bad. So I didn't end up going. I felt kinda bad, so I wrote him a note and apoligised for not going and he said it was okay and from that moment on it was history. We talked every single day and emailed back and forth, and little did I know my life at that moment was going to get a whole lot happier.
It was the night if Michigan's final game and I went with one of my friends. It was my junior year and I was hoping they would win, but it ended in a loss but I still had fun, especially because I knew at the end of the game I would get to see House. And sure enough at the end he came down and stood by me. I looked away for a second in the other direction for a second and when I turned back around he was holding a yellow card, I read it. The front said " Place picture here" and I was confused, so I opened the card and I was literally speechless. It read, " I was always wondering what our picture would look like together. (Yes I am asking you out! :)) I didn't know what to say, and for once I had no words to say, and I could feel myself blushing so hard.
" Well? What's your answer?" He seemed nervous.
" Yes!" That was all I could manage to say.
" Well can I get a hug?" I nodded and wrapped my arms around him, and until that time it was the best thing I ever felt in my life. We soon said our goodbyes and I went home. For days after that I couldn't stop smiling and I am almost sure I was even smiling in my sleep. And when I woke up the next day I had an email that read, " Good morning Beautiful! :)" I had never felt so happy in my life.
Now as I am thinking of this now I almost can't bare to think it. Things changed so much so fast I never would have guessed it, and I have to force myself to hold the tears in. I have come to a few conclusions. One, I am not mad at him for anything, I feel this is totally my fault. Two, I have learned a lot from this, and three I almost feel broken on the inside, but I have to hide it or else House wins. All the letters and the card he gave me in the begginging I will never get rid of. The rest of the story will have to wait, otherwise I will never stop feeling like this. Grieving is a long process.