Baby, You Can Drive My Car
Voiceover [Jo]: There are days when being a resident gives you the biggest high: you observe some amazing surgery, a superior praises your skill, or you're asked to assist with an intricate procedure. Those days are wonderful. There are other days when you wonder why you came to the hospital: you're asked to fetch coffee, a patient barfs on you, or an attending asks you to run a personal errand. Those days are a chore. But you're a resident. Regardless of the task, you do what you're asked to do. And you do it with a smile on your face.
Jo was hanging out with Stephanie in the Resident's Lounge, laughing and telling stories about their boyfriends. She'd just finished telling a hilarious story and they were roaring with laughter. "If Alex knew I told you that story, he'd be mortified," Jo mused. Stephanie, still laughing, said, "No worries. It's what girlfriends do – we tell each other these things. Your story's safe with me." Jo turned more serious as she lay on the bench looking at the ceiling, "I know we all thought he was such an ass at first – hell, I probably felt that more strongly than anyone – but I've come to see how his smartass exterior is just a cover for a tender, caring, vulnerable guy. You wouldn't believe how damn cute and compassionate he can be, Steph." Stephanie responded, "Yep, he can definitely be an ass, but I've seen the way you two interact and look at each other. You two have a synchronicity. Sometimes it almost makes me jealous. You better not mess this relationship up – I think he's the one for you." Jo lifted her head and grinned at Stephanie as a page came through on her pager, 'Dr. Shepherd – OR 2.'
Jo sat up and said, "That's weird. It's Dr. Shepherd, but I'm on Alex's service today." Stephanie looked at her matter-of-factly, suggesting, "Well, I don't know about you but that guy kind of intimidates me. I'd be hustling if I were you." Jo stood up and nodded her head as she left the room with a quick step. As she entered the scrub area for OR 2, she noticed Alex was operating alongside Derek. In a way, she was frustrated Alex hadn't paged her to observe, but she was also relieved not to be in there anxiously awaiting the inevitable questions Dr. Shepherd consistently asked of the residents who were present at his surgeries.
Jo grabbed a mask and entered the OR, "You paged, Dr. Shepherd?" Derek responded without looking up, "Yes, Wilson. Dr. Karev and I are operating on Emma here. She's a three year old who fell out a second story window." Jo sighed internally, thinking, 'Did he really just page me to come answer a bunch of questions about this little girl and her injuries?' Jo responded, "How sad. Will she be alright?" Alex looked up with brokenhearted eyes and said, "She's pretty bad off. We're trying. Lots of internal bleeding, a broken femur that Torres already dealt with, and brain bleeds."
Randomly, Shepherd added, "How's your driving record, Wilson?" Jo was completely confused by the question, but responded, "Ummm…clean." Shepherd continued, "No accidents?" Jo confirmed, "No, never." Shepherd continued, "No tickets?" Jo shook her head, "Never." Simultaneously, Alex and Derek looked up and said in unison, "Really?!" Jo put a hand on her hip and said, "Seriously." Derek nodded and said, "Wow. I'm impressed," then turning to his resident, he added, "Ok, now you'll want to turn your retractor very slowly about 10 degrees to the left. Very. Slowly… Yes. Good."
Jo continued to wonder why the hell Shepherd had called her down to the OR, "Is that all, Dr. Shepherd?" Derek laughed gently and explained, "No. I am going to be in this surgery at least two more hours, and it appears Dr. Grey's car won't start. She and our kids are stuck at home. Dr. Karev tells me he's leaving early today and that his service is light. He suggested that you might be able to help me get out of a pinch." Jo looked at Alex with a What the Hell glance and replied, "Sure. How can I help?" Shepherd looked up at Alex and asked, "How's that internal bleeding, Karev?" Alex responded, "I found the source and fixed some lacs. Just a few more repairs and I'll be ready to close." Shepherd nodded, "Wonderful. I could use your hands up here when you're done." Karev nodded, "Sure."
Derek looked up at Jo and apologized, "I'm sorry, Dr. Wilson. Back to my request. If you'd be so kind as to go get my wife and children at our home, I will be unbelievably and deeply grateful." Jo agreed, as if she had a choice in the matter, explaining, "Sure. My car is in the shop though. Alex, can I borrow yours?" Without looking up, Shepherd insisted, "Oh no, no worries. Please take my car. It's in space 3. A black Cayenne." Jo's stomach turned upside down at the thought of driving Derek's car, "Oh…Dr. Shepherd…I'm not sure I'm comfortable driving your Porsche. Alex, maybe I can borrow your car." Alex rolled his eyes and joked, "Oh, no problem driving my brand new Audi, huh?" Derek quickly chided, "Well, it's not a Porsche, Karev. Really, Wilson, please take my car. The longer we stand here discussing this, the more tense Dr. Grey becomes. The more tense Dr. Grey becomes, the worse my day will be. The worse my day will be…." Alex interjected, "The worse everyone's day will be."
Alex continued with a hint of sarcasm, "Hey, how about if Jo takes my car and I'll drive the Porsche to my meeting this afternoon?" Shepherd laughed gently, "I don't remember offering that option, Dr. Karev. Something tells me you've acquired a heftier driving record than Dr. Wilson." Derek continued, "My keys are next to my pager on the tray in the corner, Dr. Wilson. My wallet is the black trifold – grab some cash for the ferry." Alex shrugged as he looked toward Jo. He decided he couldn't resist the opportunity to embarrass her in front of Shepherd, "Or, you can take money out of my wallet – my wallet's right here in my front pocket." Both Karev and Shepherd snorted like 8th grade boys as Jo pretended to ignore them. She walked over to the tray and held up a black trifold, "This one, Dr. Shepherd?"
Jo nervously walked to the parking lot, praying her accident-free record would remain spotless as she drove the $150,000 car. She opened the door to find two car seats in the back and an absolutely immaculate interior. Only Shepherd could have children in a car and have the car look this new. She moved into the driver's seat and pushed the GPS button for home, as Derek had suggested to her before she left the OR. She was on her way.
She drove onto the ferry, parked the car, and went up to the deck as the ferry crossed the sound. Grabbing her phone, she called Stephanie, "You won't believe what that page was for." Stephanie heard strange background noises and asked, "Where are you?" Jo laughed, "I'm on a ferry heading toward Dr. Shepherd's house to pick up Dr. Grey and their kids. Somehow this is part of my medical education." Stephanie retorted, "No fair. I'm stuck here and just got put on scut. You suck." Jo laughed and added, "Yeah, but what's more worrisome? Driving Dr. Shepherd's Porsche or doing stitches?" Stephanie concluded, "Whatever. Like I said, you suck, Jo."
Soon the ferry docked, and Jo drove the rest of the way to the house. She arrived to find a crabby and tense Dr. Grey who managed to smile and be sing-songy to her kids while grousing and growling about her car and her messed up schedule to Jo. Jo offered to help Meredith load up and found herself being ordered around like in the early days of internship. As she walked back and forth between the car and the house, Jo was in awe the house and view. She was amazed that anyone she knew lived in such a beautiful space. "Dr. Grey, your home is so lovely, and your view…it's spectacular." Meredith responded hurriedly as she gathered baby gear, "Thanks. Derek had the house built for us. He bought the land when he first came to Seattle." Jo stared in wonder – she couldn't imagine having someone build a house for her, let alone owning such a huge parcel of land. The Shepherd-Grey reality seemed unreal in her I-used-to-live-in-my-car world.
"Ok," Meredith declared as she buckled in the kids, "We are all loaded up." Jo approached the passenger side of the Porsche, but Meredith insisted, "Oh, no, Wilson. You drive. I need to return calls." Jo moved to the other side of the car. Now supervised by Meredith and driving with singing children in the car, Jo found the experience nerve-wracking. Jo couldn't help but overhear Meredith's phone call as she snapped at her resident, answered his questions, and grilled the poor guy. After about five minutes, Meredith pulled the phone away from her mouth and basically insisted, "You know, Wilson, Dr. Shepherd consistently drives this car 10-15 miles per hour faster than the speed limit. You can go a little faster so we don't miss the next ferry." Jo nodded and sped up about 5 miles per hour, hoping Meredith wouldn't nudge her to go even faster. Between the price tag of the car she was driving, the fact that the car belonged to two doctors who intimidated her, and the happy but loud noise of the doctors' children, Jo really wanted to maintain her focus. Focusing was increasingly more difficult as Meredith's phone calls continued one after the other all the way to the ferry.
Jo drove onto the ferry with time to spare before it departed. As soon as she parked, she quickly excused herself to the bathroom before Meredith had an opportunity to ask her to babysit. Being a chauffeur was one thing, but babysitting would be asking too much. Entering the bathroom, Jo threw up from all the intensity, splashed water on her face, and took a deep breath. This was more stressful than surgery. Jo walked over to the deck and looked out at the water.
Jo's phone buzzed and she looked down to see a text from Alex: Are you still in one piece? Wrecked the car yet? Jo laughed softly and wrote back: Nope but I am halfway to Mexico. Alex responded: Without me?! Jo replied and decided to fess up: Actually, I just puked from the crazy experience of driving this car with Dr. Grey snapping out orders as I chauffeured her to the ferry. Alex responded: Lightweight. Jo shook her head and laughed softly at her smartass guy, then responded: Go easy on me, I'm furthering my medical education as a driver and potential babysitter. Alex wrote back: Ok, now you're just whining. Gotta go. 3 u.
As the ferry approached the dock, Jo returned to the car. Meredith was now in the driver's seat and said, "I'll go ahead and drive. We'll never get to the hospital if you drive. It'd take days." Jo sighed with relief, "Okay." Meredith peeled off the ferry and onto the freeway. She pushed the 'Derek' button on the integrated Bluetooth. A nurse answered and put her on speaker phone. Meredith and Jo heard Derek's voice slowly and tentatively speak in a code that communicated that it was not just the Derek and Meredith on the line, "Dr. Grey." Meredith requested, "Hey, I'm on the freeway. Would it be possible for someone to prep my OR so I can begin my surgery as soon as I arrive?" Derek responded, wondering why this was his responsibility, "I'll see what I can do."
Zola heard her daddy's voice and exclaimed, "Hi Daddy!" Bailey joined in with his own greeting. Derek responded, "Hey kiddos," then he turned to Stephanie and asked her to set up Meredith's OR. Zola shouted, "Daddy…Daddy…do you know what sound kitties make?" Derek responded as he continued to operate, "I do, but I want to hear you make that sound, Zo. Can you make it for me later in daycare? Daddy needs to help a little girl named Emma right now." Zola eagerly answered, "Meow, meow, meow. Ok."
Jo continued to feel awkward in this awkward situation on this awkward day. Another text came through from Alex. Jo asked, "Do you mind if I tend to this, Dr. Grey?" Meredith responded, "Not at all, Wilson. Nice of you to ask." Zola requested, "Mommy, can I text too?" Meredith grinned and explained to Jo, "She takes selfies and we send them to Derek." Jo commented, "That's adorable." Jo looked down to read Alex's text: If you're with Mer, don't share this. Lawyer appointment went well. Will set up my own practice and partnership to protect my $$ share that Yang left me. Jo typed back: Sounds like rich people problems . Alex responded: I want you on the papers. Jo's eyes widened as she wrote: What's that even mean? Let's talk later.
Zola, jealous of all the texting, requested, "Can I text?" Jo turned around to take a picture of Zola and sent it to Alex. Alex wrote back: Let me Facetime her. Soon, Alex was making funny faces and crazy growling roars as he greeted Zola and as Zola howled with laughter, "Uncle Alex!" Meanwhile, Jo's mind was spinning with Alex's words about partnership, legal documents, and including her. Suddenly the stress of being a chauffeur seemed pretty minor.
Voiceover [Jo]: Barista, chauffeur, lackey, errand runner – a resident never knows what their day may bring. An attending might invite you to hold a retractor or even to close at the end of a surgery. On the same day, that attending might snap at you for a minor error. Residents are expected to know the answer to any question an attending asks. Attendings never ask a resident what is on their schedule or date book, but we'd know that answer too: whatever you ask of me whether it's serving as a personal assistant, catching up on charting, or checking your pre and post ops. All of that pales in comparison to your boyfriend asking you to go into business with him. When asked to be a co-signer on legal documents, residency suddenly seems like a breeze.
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