A/N HELLOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! I'M CRYINGWOLF14 AND THIS STORY IS ABOUT EVERYONE TALKING ABOUT RELIGON. AIN'T CATHOLIC SO THIS WILL BE A MICKY TAKE FOR EVERYONE WHO IS NOT A STRONG... UH... CATHOLIC. SLOW START BUT IT GET'S THERE SOON ENOUGH. THIS STORY IS MADE WHEN THE 7TH BOOK KINGDOM OF THE WICKED IS DONE SO IF THE 8TH BOOK IS MADE AND YOU ARE ONLY NOW READING THIS STORY IT AIN'T MY FAULT. THERE ARE NO SPOILERS, JUST AGONIZING HINTS. caps lock now off, on with the story.
no one's point of view
Skulduggery Pleasant strode out of his vehicle. Valkyrie Cain glanced back and stroked the hood with love. It was rare they used the Bentley. Skulduggery saw his Bentley, saw Valkyrie near it, and turned back.
"It's going to a better place" he said in that velvety smooth voice. Valkyrie always appreciated that voice. In a great deal of situation, it was a god send.
"How is the junkyard a better place?!"
"I don't know" he said "since we're talking to and about a car, i figured nothing can really be said. Except maybe 'we may need to find a mage who is also a pychiatrist' "
"You have to promise me one thing skulduggery"
All he did was incline his head.
"I will NEVER, I reapeat, NEVER see that canary yellow car again. It's been years since i saw it and it still gives me nightmares to think i once sat in it"
"Well, uhhh... valkyrie certain times mean we must face our fears. Which means when i show you that 'nightmare' worthy car, you will know that i planned this conversation."
Valkyrie glared. Skulduggery attempted to clear his throat, however, a walking, talking, magic skeleton can only do so much. It sounded more like an owl screeching.
"I hate you" was all she said. She then walked away.
"Bit drastic, don't you think?" skulduggery ran a little bit and then-when their paces matched-asked "You're going to sulk aren't you?"
"Yes i am"
"Alright then" was his only reply.
Valkyrie couldn't believe him. Not only was Skulduggery taking her to a sanctuary meeting with the supreme council present (BORING MUCH?!), but also made her sit in...THIS...THIS.. THING! IT DIDN'T DESERVE THE NAME 'CAR'! WHEN SHE RULED THE WORLD THIS WAS THE FIRST THING SHE'D DESTROY!
CRAP!
Darsseque fought for control on her mind. When Valkyrie won, Darsseque laughed and then quietened. Valkyrie could still feel her, however she was not a current threat, and valkyrie returned to sulking.
Skulduggery shook his head. Eventually curiosity won her over.
"What?!" she said angerily.
"This car makes you feel so bad that Darsseque takes over. This must be a really bad car"
"It is a bad car. A very bad car. If i forgave you the first time, trust me, i dont make the same mistake twice"
"I thank you for forgiving me once. On a subject that will make you less angry, what's your stand on religon?"
"Faceless ones religon or... other religon?"
"Just general religon"
Valkyrie thought about it.
"If this is so hard i'll narrow it down to catholicism"
Although Valkyrie hated the 'if this is so hard' bit, she was glad for the introduction.
"Umm.. well..i guess he was born and i get presents and he dies, so i get chocolate. It's a win-win"
"I dont see how Jesus's death is a win on his side."
"No" Valkyrie argued "For one he gave himself up so that's his fault. And 2, he came back to life so it wasn't all that bad for him"
"Valkyrie, no matter what decent point you make the fact is he still died"
Just then the car stopped. Skulduggery got out and opened the door for Valkyrie.
"Skulduggery?" she said sweetly.
"Yes?"
"I'M STILL MAD AND SULKING!"
"I know." he replied "but the best thing is, that we are now going to a meting which has a lot of arguing and people talking. That will give me time to think of a way to stop YOU from talking when we reach the car again"
Valkyrie pouted. She knew Skulduggery was right. She also knew this meeting can go really really tit's side up.