Imperfect Angel

Okay, this is just a Hijiri/Hisoka fanfic I was requested to write.

Hisoka was seated comfortably in the well-cushioned seat of a restaurant chair. Someone had invited him there to meet up, and Hisoka was sincerely thankful that it hadn't been Muraki.

He needn't have worried about such a trivial thing, however, since he knew Muraki probably wouldn't go under Hijiri's identity. It was Hijiri who wanted to meet him there.

Staring out the window at the gently falling snow, Hisoka's emerald eyes expressed nothing. A cup of warm tea was held in one hand, his chin resting in the other. It was a beautiful day out; the freshly fallen snow was untouched until children ran through it and made snow angels or snowballs, even some couples mimicking the childish actions.

"Hey Hisoka!"

The familiar and strongly missed voice pulled the young Shinigami from his drifting thoughts as they and his eyes came to set upon Hijiri.

The darker-haired boy gave Hisoka a gentle squeeze around the shoulders from behind, before moving his winter-attired body to the chair across from Hisoka's, unzipping his jacket as he did so. He removed his jacket and hung it on the back of the chair, removing his scarf and gloves, tucking them into his jacket sleeve.

Hijiri's dark hair had some stray snowflakes sparkling in it, and Hisoka's emerald eyes watched them before Hijiri sat down, head resting on his hands and looking at Hisoka.

"So," Hijiri started. "How have you been, Hisoka?"

"Eh? Me?" Hisoka blinked a little. "I've been fine," he said. Hijiri had given him an odd look when Hisoka seemed to have asked if the question had been directed at him, even though it was obvious it had. "How have you been doing?"

"Good," Hijiri answered. "Lonely, though. I've missed you, though," he stated, tilting his head a little, so it now rested more in his right hand. "What's been happening to you lately?"

Hisoka sipped his tea. "Other than Tsuzuki acting like an idiot most of the time," he said, clearly and firmly. "It's been oddly entertaining. Especially to observe Tatsumi and Watari…"

Hijiri tilted his head. "Why? What's up with them?"

Although what was indeed happening amused Hisoka, he didn't laugh, but his lips twitched a little in the faintest ghost of a smile. "Watari has some new potions he wants to test out. But he wants to test them specifically on Tatsumi, and, naturally, Tatsumi has enough intelligence as to not do it."

"This is good," Hijiri said.

"No kidding, I don't now how much Tatsumi's dignity would suffer if he was turned into something by one of Watari's potions," Hisoka set his tea down on the table, scratching his other arm slightly. "Nobody would take him seriously, not even after he turned back."

Hijiri smiled after a moment of silence, sitting up properly. "I'm glad you actually came. I didn't think you would."

The other boy blinked. "Why wouldn't I come?" Hisoka questioned, tilting his head a little. "Do I have a reason not to?"

"Well… I didn't think you'd want anything to do with me anymore," Hijiri answered with a sheepish smile. "After all, you seemed quite locked up and disinterested in me when you were assigned to my case."

Shrugging, Hisoka turned his gaze emotionlessly to the window once more to watch the snow fall. "I wasn't… disinterested. You were just another person who, should I have and do let myself close to you, can hurt me."

Hijiri had also turned his head to look out the window at the snow.

"You never had many friends, did you, Hisoka?"

Shifting his eyes but not his body, Hisoka's gaze fell upon Hijiri once more. But still Hijiri was staring out the window at the intricate dance the snowflakes did in the light breeze. "No."

"You should really loosen up a bit," Hijiri stated, as he turned his head to look at Hisoka. A discontented look was in Hijiri's eyes now. "Not everyone is going to try and hurt you; most of the time when that happens it's unintentional. I wouldn't try to hurt you, and I know Tsuzuki certainly wouldn't. I don't know Tatsumi and Watari well enough to speak for them, but I'm sure they wouldn't either. Not intentionally."

"That isn't true," Hisoka said, glaring out the window now.

Hijiri's eyes narrowed at Hisoka. "Ooh yeah? Why not?"

Something about Hijiri's voice set Hisoka on edge. Hijiri had gone from being cheerful, to being discontent and now he was defensive. Hijiri's emotions changed rather quickly. Not able to come up with a quick answer, Hisoka danced around the subject. "Because."

"Because is a statement, not an answer," Hijiri said, eyes still narrowed at the blond boy, who shifted uncomfortably.

"Hijiri…"

"Yes?"

"Nobody can hurt someone that much unless it's intentional," Hisoka said, crossing his arms over his chest. Hijiri begged to differ.

"The exact reason that it hurts so much," he said, setting one hand on the middle of the table. "Is because it's unintentional. Sure, people do things like, for example, break up with their boyfriend or girlfriend. Most of them have valid reasons, like they're moving too far away, or they can't take being walked over, and this causes hurt to more than one person, but it is unintentional. Almost any time someone hurts you it is accidental, and it hurts them just as much if not more for realizing they did it to someone."

Lowering his head onto the table, to rest on his crossed arms which were also resting on the table, Hisoka let out a sigh.

"What's wrong?" Hijiri blinked. He hadn't meant to have offended Hisoka or made it awkward for him or something, but… then, Hisoka needed to know that life isn't all pain.

Hisoka shook his head a little. "Every time I state something like that, someone always has more points against me than I do to support myself."

"Life's not all pain, though, Hisoka. It can be…" Hijiri was interrupted by Hisoka, however.

"Life isn't all sakura blossoms and games, either, Hijiri," Hisoka shut his eyes as he spoke, not really wanting to look at Hijiri at his words.

Hijiri hit the table lightly with one fisted hand. "Of course it isn't," Hijiri said. "But you can't spend all your time thinking of the bad things. I mean, come on, there's got to be some good things in your life, isn't there?"

There was a moment of silence before an answer. "Yes, of course," Hisoka said.

"What are they?" Hijiri prodded.

"Tsuzuki, Watari and Tatsumi, you," Hisoka said. "The fact that I don't feel threatened when I'm around any of you. I'm calm, content almost…"

"If I didn't know any better, Hisoka, I would say you were expressing some emotions there," Hijiri was suddenly happy again, and teasing Hisoka now.

Hisoka's eyes narrowed a little at Hijiri.

"I'm only teasing!" Hijiri said, leaning back a little in his chair. He was smiling, though, happy. "You're too cute, Hisoka."

The blond boy felt his cheeks flush and he turned his gaze to the suddenly interesting tabletop. "I'm not cute…"

"Of course you are," Hijiri said. "You're really cute. Especially when you blush."

This only made Hisoka's blush deeper, if that was even possible. "Hijiri… I am not cute, so can you stop?"

"Well, I'm not going to lie to you," Hijiri folded his arms. He looked outside again. "Say, why don't we go for a walk?"

"But we haven't even eaten anything," Hisoka said, looking at Hijiri. What was the point of meeting at a restaurant if they weren't even going to eat anything?

Hijiri merely shrugged, standing up and bundling himself up again. He took Hisoka's hands and made him stand, giving Hisoka his coat.

Hisoka took his coat from Hijiri and pulled it on, muttering a few words of thanks to him.

Not having any choice but to follow Hijiri, Hisoka treaded along in the snow behind him. By now, Hijiri had led him to a park, where most of the snow had still not been walked upon, and it was rather deep. He could feel it seep into his boots and dampen his feet and socks, but he didn't complain. Complaining was Tsuzuki's job.

Once they reached a secluded spot, Hijiri removed his jacket, and Hisoka gave him an odd look. "You're going to freeze, Hijiri."

"I'll be fine, I wore extra layers," he said, referring to wearing more than one sweatshirt at the moment. He set his jacket down carefully on the ground and sat down on it, motioning for Hisoka to sit next to him.

Hesitantly Hisoka moved and sat down next to Hijiri on Hijiri's jacket. He crossed his legs, although tried not to get any snow onto Hijiri's jacket itself.

He was caught off guard at Hijiri laughing. "What?" He asked, looking at him.

"Don't worry about it if you get some snow on my jacket," Hijiri said. "It'll melt and then it'll dry, it's not like it's the end of the world or something."

"I guess you're right…" Hisoka said with a shrug, gaze turning away once again. His eyes didn't return to Hijiri until he felt someone leaning against his left shoulder, using him somewhat like a pillow. "Eh?"

"Don't you love winter, Hisoka?" Hijiri's soft voice floated up to Hisoka's cold and slightly numb ears.

Hisoka shook his head, and he knew Hijiri could feel it through his shoulder. Hijiri had his eyes closed, but that didn't mean he wasn't listening. "No, I hate it."

"Why?"

"It's too… innocent," Hisoka said. "In a way. Winter seems so innocent, and yet people, children, get abandoned out in the snow and some even freeze to death out there. And yet people play in the snow, and skate, as if nothing in the world that fun could possibly hurt someone. Winter's mask of innocence disgusts me."

Hijiri seemed to have listened carefully to Hisoka's words because he was silent for a long moment. "You know you're an angel, right?"

"I'm an angel of death, Hijiri…" Hisoka stated coldly.

"No, not to me," Hijiri said. "You're an angel."

Hisoka blinked his emerald eyes a little, watching the boy with the closed eyes as he spoke, listening carefully. "But I'm tainted…"

"Stained with things that are beyond your control," Hijiri said. "That's all. You're still an angel. An imperfect angel, but still an angel."

"Ooh, and what, a fallen angel is still an angel too?" Hisoka asked, raising an eyebrow. This made Hijiri open his eyes and look at Hisoka.

"A fallen angel is still an angel, yes," Hijiri said. "An angel tainted by sin, whether committed intentionally or forced, but a fallen angel, in some people's eyes, is still just as good an angel as any. Just because one is tainted by sin doesn't mean that they don't have a heart. It doesn't mean they don't care for anyone or anything, they still have feelings. They still feel, Hisoka. They just need someone to forgive them, and someone to love them."

"But if you're a fallen angel you've committed a sin that cannot be forgiven," Hisoka said.

"The sin can be forgiven," Hijiri said. "It just takes time, and the angel must be willing to allow forgiveness to take place."

Hisoka turned his gaze away once more, only to have Hijiri turn his head so that he would look him in the eyes.

"Hisoka," Hisoka's name was stated plainly, meant as a statement and not to get his attention. After all, Hijiri already had all of Hisoka's attention. "You are not a fallen angel, so there is no use in you wandering on the reasons behind one," he said. "You're an angel of death. You cause death just as much as you prevent it if you can. You're not cruel, unless you want to be. You're just an imperfect angel. But to me that makes you perfect."

And with those words, Hijiri leaned up and lightly kissed Hisoka. The kiss didn't last more than a couple of seconds.

"I guess you're right, Hijiri," Hisoka said. "I'm sorry…"

"You have nothing to be sorry for," Hijiri replied. "You were just being yourself, and that's good. Angel."

END