The Ultra-Random POTC Clothes-Stealing Escapade RPG
-Wanders up to Jack all innocent like- Hi Captain...
-Sneaks up behind Jack while he is distracted and jumps on him-
Jack: -Spazzes out- What in bloody hell are you two broads doing!?
Quick! Grab his sword and gun!
Jack: Wait...oh...the weapons...I'm fine as long as you don't take...
And the rum.
NOT THE RUM!!!!
-Grins and guzzles down a whole barrel of rum-
Now, let's get his clothes!!!
Jack: -Still moping about rum- It was really good rum...why'd you take my rum...? Wait! MY CLOTHES! Wouldn't you rather have William's?
Will: HEY!
No, way, Captain! You're the main character; the fangirls want YOUR clothes. We might come back for Will's later.
Will: WHAT!
Oh, pipe down, Turner. You'll have your turn. Now Jack...sit still...
Jack: -Runs off screaming with nifty background music like on the island in POTC2-
Heeeeeyy...I want cool background music tooooo...No fair...
You can't hide forever Sparrow!!!!!!! Picks up spear and follows him
No spear, we don't wanna hurt him...just rip his clothes off...maybe we can use Liz as bait...
Aw, but I love spears!!! -Sniff- Bye, spear. -Rips Jack's clothes off- I have them!!!!
YAY! -Pushes you towards computer- Quick sell them! I'll keep him busy with some rum! -Pulls out big keg-
Jack: Mmmm...Rum...
-Rolls the keg away- Hurry! How much are we up to?
Good thing his knickers are still on...otherwise, we'd end up with bids on HIM...!
We're up to $1500 and rising!! Keep him going!!!
-Is now running with keg- HELP! WILL! MAKE YOURSELF USEFUL AND WE WON'T STEAL YOUR CLOTHES!!!
Will: I don't trust fangirls!! You're on your own!! -Runs away-
Jack: William!!!! Come back here and help me you ninny!!!
Hmmmm...-Puts keg down- Maybe...yeah...Hey, Sparrow! You can have the rum...if you can get past me unarmed. While I'M using your cutlass.
Jack: -While you were talking, he grabbed the keg and is now racing away with it- Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
-Sighs, then notice his underpants and blush- OMG...he's in his birthday suit...drinking rum...this is too much...
Quick, get his underwear while he's distracted. Those should get us a pretty penny.
Ooooo...so...what'd his clothes sell for? -Puts undies in packaging crate-
We got $2643 for his shirt, $2932 for his pants, and $12 for his socks.
Just 12...well...they were on his stinky feet so...yeah...well...I've got the piccy of the undies...let the bidding begin!
Jack: -Drunk- Hey...gimme ma clothes back...-Passes out-
Hey, cut some of his hair off!!
And ruin the pirate dashingness? Are you mad?
Boo!!!! No fun!! Alright, fine, go find Will so we can start something on his clothes.
Sure...if he doesn't beat me to death with an anvil.
Don't worry, just go kidnap Elizabeth and he'll do anything you ask.
Or I could ask her to PRETEND I kidnapped her. He forgot their anniversary.
Ooooo, that's better. Saves us a lawsuit, that's fer sure.
I'll say...Oh LIZZY!!!
Elizabeth: Yes?
Could you do us a favor and pretend to be kidnapped so we can get dear William's clothes and sell them on the internet?
Elizabeth: I dunno...
Oh, come ON! It'll be funny! Just think, we sell his clothes, you burn or bury the others...he'll be left with nothing but his birthday suit! Then we'll send him and Jack to go fetch their clothes from rabid, drool monkey fangirls! What's not to love with that plan!
Elizabeth: I'm not sure I really want my fiancé ogled by thousands of fangirls...
Trust me...he won't either...which is why Shea and I are gonna have to snag the Pearl and set sail before they get back...
Elizabeth: Hmmm...Well, I do like the idea that they won't be able to just run off. Okay, I'm in.
Yay!! Just hide somewhere and make sure Will doesn't see you.
Woo-hoo! Yayness! Okay, you hide here...and Shea, you go here so you can get the clothes. Okay, everybody set? I'll write the ransom note.
Yes, ma'am! -Giggle-
Shhhhhhhhhh...okay, letter's written. I'll go deliver it, and then we wait.
Will: -Picks up letter- Oh my gawd!!! Elizabeth has been kidnapped!!! Jack!!!
Jack: -Nude- Yeah?
Will: Egads!! Put some clothes on, man!!!
-Snickers- This is gonna be fun...
Jack: -In some of Will's borrowed clothes- I say, these are rather snug.
Will: It doesn't matter. We have to go save Elizabeth. The fangirls have stolen her!
Jack: ...That's why I'm here? To save your bonny lass? Nope, no way. Last time I got around those fangirls, well...you know...
-Hides- Here they come. Jack looks sulky.
-Waits impatiently-
Will: They said they'd be here...
Ready...charge!
-Jumps on Will- Nya-hahahaha!!!!
-Rips off Will's clothes and hurriedly puts them in packaging crates-
Will: -Covers himself- Eeeek!!! I've been fangirled!!!
-Jumps on Jack and rip Will's clothes off of him- Hahahahahahah!!!!!!!
Yay! Okay, boys, now just sit back, relax, and watch the prices soar. Wow, we're STILL getting bets for the undies? 1 MILLION!?
Wow, imagine how much we'll get for Will's underwear.
Will: That's...sick...
Oh, shut up. You're only a pawn in a movie-based society, you have no real value.
Still...that IS kinda gross...but funny.
Ya. But hey, we're making money off it.
Moola!
Alright, I'm getting bored with Will and Jack. Let's sell them to the fangirls.
Fangirls: Yay!
-Turns and both men have vanished- OH NO!!! OKAY! EVERYONE! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I REPEAT, THIS IS NOT A DRILL! -Everyone puts on safari hats and grabs nets and tranquilizer guns-
Ready, set, GO!
CHARGE!
Will: Run faster!!! They're catching up!!!
Jack: -Screams like a little girl-
Dissolves into giggles OMG!!!
Jack: -Turns and pulls out his sword- Fangirls!! You shall know this as the day you almost...-Gets piled on by fangirls- Eek!!
Will: -Is already gone-
-Grins- Jack...you gotta come up with a shorter catch phrase.
-Sells Jack to the fangirls for $2,000,000- $$
Hehe, we don't need William anymore.
-Taps nose- I smell another mil or two on him...but then Lizzy'd get mad...and she's SCARY when she's angry...
Yeah. Let's just stick to Jack. -Shudder-
Well...we better go get to the Pearl...Jack'll be HOT when he gets back...and I don't mean looks.
-Gathers up money- On to the next movie!!
THE END
AN: -Dies laughing- I suppose everyone is wondering about this. Well, ya see, one day my friend thought it would be funny to start an RPG with us and the people from POTC. Soooo we decided to kick that up a notch and steal their clothes to sell on the internet. XD Now, I know it's a little weird but come on you can't say it isn't funny. Okay, just so there's no confusion:
Italacized-Sanura
Bold-Me
Regular-Everyone else
And for the record, there was no point to this. None at all. I just like doing random stuff. Isn't it fun to do? And if anyone at all decides to chew me out for "making fun of Will and Jack" I'll send the Orange Leprechauns after you. Seriously, they're not gods people. So loosen up, alright?
Disclaimer: I do not own POTC, Will and Jack's clothing, or eBay. Believe me, the world is better off without me owning these things.