Disclaimer: I don't own anything…

Note: Japanese names.(Oji-san=uncle or mister) The apotoxin automatically de-ages you by ten years in this story and not to age six/seven—I've always wondered which it was. Enjoy!

I wrote this years ago, so there are events (such as Shinichi confessing to Ran in Europe) that are not included. And I realize that it may be…uh…cheesy in some places because of how my mind worked when I wrote this, but I am satisfied with how it turned out and I decided not to update it and just leave it how I originally wrote it in 2008.

Nightmare

The boy sleeping on the couch twitched again as he relived another unpleasant memory. It was four in the afternoon and the warm sun that shone on him through the windows that read "Mouri Detective Agency" seemed to make him glow.

To anyone who did not know Edogawa Conan, he appeared to be a boy who had just turned nine having a nightmare as any kid was bound to have. To anyone who did know the boy, he just seemed to be taking a nap after school, catching up on the sleep that had escaped him for the past months. But no one knew that his dreams were ones that no ordinary child would have, maybe because he was not, indeed, a child. Many of these dreams were brought on by the feeling of hopelessness that increased every time he visited Professor Agasa's house. Others were triggered by the feelings of the secret he kept out of habit and fear that was leftover from the take-down of an evil syndicate.

After about two years of touch and go encounters, the Black Organization was finally, without a doubt destroyed with every single member dead or in jail. All this was accomplished with the help of the Japanese Police, the CIA, the FBI, Saguru Hakuba, Professor Agasa, Kudo Yukiko and Yusaku, Haibara Ai, Kaito Kid, Hattori Heiji, and of course Kudo Shinichi. The ruin of the Organization was world-wide knowledge now, as were the names of those who brought it about. The one who was most talked about was Kudo Shinichi, if only because he had been missing before, then disappeared again days after the triumph, and had yet to be heard from since.

In those days after, Kudo Shinichi was the happiest he had been since getting involved with the Black Organization. He was able to spend time as himself with the person he loved most for the longest period of time at one time so far since becoming Conan.

Shinichi was sitting in the back of the ambulance being evaluated to see if he needed to be admitted to a hospital. Shinichi sat there reveling in the fact that he had been successful in bringing down the bad guys. He saw his childhood friend spot him and run to him as fast as she could. Before he could even say anything to her, he felt a sting on his left cheek and then her arms were around his waist. He looked down to see Ran hugging his waist like he would disappear if she didn't and then he saw, with a tug at his heart, that she was crying—again. He mentally slapped himself ten times as hard and ten times more than she had just done and wrapped his arms around her, pulling her against him. Vaguely Shinichi noticed that the paramedic walked away to help elsewhere.

"Baka! …Shinichi…" Ran whispered.

"Ran…I'm sorry," came a strained reply.

"…"

"There's something I want to tell you, Ran, something I've been trying to say. I-I'll tell you tomorrow at a better time. I'm tired of always running out of time and then leaving. I'm so, so sorry, and … Ran, I missed you!" Shinichi said this and tightened his arms around her.

"Shinichi! I forgive you. I missed you, too, Shinichi," Ran's tears had nearly stopped now. They stayed there for a while, until someone remembered them.

Shinichi was forced to stay at the hospital overnight before being allowed to go home the next day.

He was restless the whole morning when finally there was a knock on the door. Shinichi rushed to answer it. Haibara stood in the doorway watching with slight amusement as his face went from excitement to disappointment to hopeful.

"Kudo," Haibara said, dipping her head as she was allowed to pass into the house. "First, I'm here to remind you that the antidote currently in your blood stream wears off in about sixty hours. Second, you should know that I have the Apotoxin and am working on the permanent cure. Unfortunately, it looks as if it'll take a while and Kudo will disappear again," Ai said the last part with no emotion.

"All right, do you have a time estimate?" Shinichi was also emotionless.

"I don't know. It could be a year or more. I just have no idea. I can't guarantee anything."

"Right. Thanks." With their exchange finished, Haibara left. Shinichi was stunned and depressed. He sat down and started thinking of what to tell Ran, who would be there soon. He knew he couldn't tell her his feelings now, not yet again.

"Shinichi?" Ran! he thought before answering.

"Come in," Ran was slightly worried at the tone of his voice. The worry grew as she entered the house and found Shinichi slumped on the couch staring straight ahead with an incredibly sad expression on his face. This gave Ran a sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

"Shinichi?" his head turned to look at her, his eyes showing her he didn't have good news.

"Ran, I'm sorry," his voice shook and he suddenly looked like he was close to crying.

Ran was surprised for a moment before going to sit next to him, taking his hands in hers.

"Shinichi? What's wrong?" Ran was afraid she knew the answer.

"I-I have to l-leave again. I don't have a choice. I-I can't explain, but this is… just how it is. I'm sorry. There's no other way or I wouldn't be saying this. If I had my way I would never leave again; I would never leave your side, even if you got tired of me! Please, just don't hate me. You should forget about me and find someone who can stay with you. I am so tired of hurting you! Conan's told me how I have—I don't deserve you! Please, just be happy—for me?" a single tear slid down his face as he managed to force the strangled words out of his mouth without breaking down.

He was being selfish. Shinichi was scared to tell Ran about Conan, believing the truth would hurt her worse than he wished her to be and that this way was best for her. And because he didn't know what her reaction would be. This way would give her more freedom to move on and find happiness. Ran didn't say anything for a while, thinking things over and hearing the sincerity in his voice.

"Ran? Are you mad? Do you hate me now?" Shinichi hesitated for a second, "I don't have a right to ask this but, I have two days left, will you spend them with me? Or am I asking too much?" he didn't dare look at her for fear he would break down completely.

"… I don't hate you. Yes, I'll spend them with you" Ran replied. You don't hate me yet, if only you knew, Shinichi thought to himself.

"Thank you, Ran," the two then spent the remainder of Shinichi's time as himself doing things they always did. Their goodbye was tear-filled on Ran's part as she promised she would try to be happy.

Conan, who had been staying with relatives, came back the day after Shinichi left.

Note: Thank you for reading!

Ramble: Things I've noticed— I suggest listening to "Wherever You Will Go" by The Calling and "Far Away" by Nickelback. Depending on the verse and the point of view of (Shinichi/Conan or Ran), the songs seem to fit the series really well.

Did you ever wonder if it really mattered if Shinichi told Ran he was Conan? If the Organization is as ruthless as they are made out to be, then wouldn't they kill anyone whether or not they were innocent?

Shouldn't Conan have been found out by his fingerprints by now? When at a murder case, his fingerprints have been taken so the police could tell his apart from others. Shinichi has also been involved in many murders, right? So wouldn't their fingerprints be exactly the same?