Disclaimer Unfortunately, I do not own these characters or the book Eclipse. You can thank Stephenie Meyer for that.
He looked at me with his huge, now black eyes. He now knew that Edward and I were going to get married, and that the date of my transformation was rather quickly coming up. He knew that anything more than friends would never exist between us. He knew that friends might even be hard to accomplish.
I stared back at him, trying to find any other emotion besides sadness. I couldn't.
"Jake, I'm so sorry. I didn't want you to find out this way. I wanted to.." He cut me off before I could finish.
"Bella, I want you to be happy. I want you to wake up every morning and know that you made the right choice. But, I want you to be happy with me, and I know that I am the right choice."
He leaned in closer, closing the gap between us.
"Jake. You know just as well as I do that I can't be happy without him. You know I love you, just not in that way. You know that I want.." Before I could finish, his lips were crushing mine.
This was a new type of kiss. It wasn't safe and guarded. It held no boundaries but the ones that I was about to set. I tried my hardest to pull back, but my strength didn't hold one hundredth of the amount he did. As I pushed on his chest, Jake wrapped his fingers in my hair and pulled me closer. I had no choice but to surrender and wait for him to finish. That is, until Edward came.
The anger in his eyes was easily identifiable. As he came closer, I could see him shaking. I knew that this wasn't going to be a verbal fight. This was going to be purely physical, so I had to try my hardest to stop what I knew was coming.
"Edward. I'm sorry. Please, can we just leave. Talk about this?" I was pleading to him. I was seconds away from falling to my knees and begging.
"Bella, love, why don't you leave for a second. Jacob and I need to talk." There was no denying the hatred that was in his voice. He glared at Jacob with a terrifying look. One that made him look like a vampire.
"Yeah, Bella," said Jake "I think you should leave too. This conversation has been put off for far to long." The look in Jacob's eyes made him look like a werewolf. No matter where I turned, I was surrounded by mythical creatures trying to kill each other.
"No! I'm not leaving. Not unless you," I was talking to Edward, pleading with my eyes, "come with me."
I walked to him, closing the gap between us. I wrapped my arms around his waist and buried my face in his chest. I knew that any sort of physical contact Edward and I embraced in front of Jacob hurt Jacob, but at this point, I didn't care.
"Please," I whispered, "please come with me."
"Are you not mad at him?" Edward said, his voice filled with anger that I knew wasn't directed at me.
"Of course I am, but I know that you two are going to fight, and I'm not mad enough to see him get hurt. Now, please, come with me." I pulled myself closer to him, feeling his cool body on every inch of mine.
"Ha! ," Snorted Jacob, "you think I am going to get hurt. Jeez Bella. A little confidence in me would be nice every now and then."
"Shut up, Jake." I hissed through my teeth.
"Come, Bella," Edward whispered in my ear, "let's get you back in the tent. It's going to get cold soon." And with that we walked away from Jacob, leaving him to realize that no matter what happened, in the end I was always going to be with Edward. My soul mate. My better half. The utter core of my existence.
Behind me, I could hear Jacob calling for me. Begging for me to come back. For a moment, I wanted to. I want to run to him and assure him that I was forever going to be with him. To comfort him. Just then, I realized that I did love him in that way. I knew that emotions far more destructive and passionate lay light years under the emotions I felt for Edward. I knew they were there, and I knew that he did too. And then I froze. I looked up at Edward. I looked into his beautiful eyes, only to see him looking at me the way any girl would die for. Then I looked back at Jacob, still standing in the same spot with a look of hurt on his face. I wanted to run to Jacob, but I wanted to stay by Edward's side far more. There was no competition. I knew whom I couldn't live without. I knew whom I could live without, while suffering large amounts of emotional pain.
I continued to walk with Edward, and I could feel the tears approaching. I broke out of Edward's hold and I started to run. To where? I wasn't certain. Of course, I didn't get far before Edward had his arms around my waist, restricting me from going any farther.
"Bella, what's the matter?" His voice was filled with confusion and worry.
"Edward . . . I . . . I . . . " I was sobbing, loud, embarrassing sobs.
"Shh . . . Come on, let's go," he said, pulling me behind him, "it won't be long now. Everything will be over and back to normal."
I wasn't sure how long it was until we got back to the tent. My mind was elsewhere, searching for answers that I knew were impossible to be given. My life had turned into a complete mess, and instead of trying to clean it up, I had only made it worse. Jacob was in pain because of my actions. Edward was going to be in pain after I told him what was on my mind. There was a fight brewing between my family and ruthless Newborns because of my existence. Which at this point, was something I was willing to give up in order to save them. Victoria-the thought of her made me twitch- was back, probably hunting me this very second. My soul mate was my best friend's mortal enemy. My transformation would make my best friend my mortal enemy. There was no shrink in the world that could help me with my problems.
When we got back to the tent, Edward immediately pulled me into his arms and let me ruin his shirt with my tears. It seemed like I had been crying forever, but Edward was still there, arms around me, when I stopped.
"Bella. Did you make the right decision? Am I the right person for you? I've never seen you in so much . . . pain." His voice broke when he said the last word.
"Yes, Edward. You are my life. Without you, I'm nothing. Being without Jacob is going to be extremely hard, don't get me wrong, but it's nothing compared to the pain I felt when I was without you." I immediately regretted what I had said. I knew bringing up the past was something that neither of us enjoyed, and we intentionally avoided any topics that might lead us back to the dark and depressing time.
"But Bella," his voice was full of sadness, which I knew was my doing, "are you positive? I mean, you know that you love him. Is that love enough to want him more than me?"
Edward was in pain because of me. Here he was, right in front of me, exposing more pain than I had ever seen him display before. I was disgusted with myself.
"Of course, Edward. I love you more than words can explain. You are my everything."
Before he could reply, I wrapped my arms around his neck and kissed him. I knew I didn't have much time, so I tried to make the best of it. I pressed myself to his body with as much force as I contained.
Time was running out, and I knew that he was going to stop this. But, to my surprise, he didn't. His lips were moving in a way that a way I wasn't familiar with. The same way Jacob's were. His fingers were knotted in my hair and he very gently pushed me against the stone cold ground. His fingers traced every feature of my face and down my stomach. I was the one who had to break away from the kiss, retreating for air. Finally, Edward stopped and looked at me with a look that would knock any unsuspecting person to their knees. Then he smiled and whispered my name.
I knew I had made the right decision. There was no way that I could live without Edward without going into some zombie like state. I was willing to give up my mortality for him. I was willing to marry him at the age of 18 for goodness sakes. And as I looked into his eyes, I saw our future. But, deep in the depths of his eyes, I saw Jacob, still waiting for me. Waiting for me, even though my heart had stopped beating.
Okay, this is my first fanfic. Reviews would be great. Constructive critiscim is greatly appreciated. 3