When you hate someone first and grow to love them, in time that initial hatred is forgotten. Overwhelmed by the love that follows it.
But when the love comes first….no matter how sour it turns, how painful it becomes, how deeply you grow to hate them….some part of you, however small, will always remember that love.
Anna hated Hans.
Hated him for the hurt he caused.
Hated him for the lies, the deceit.
Hated him for Elsa.
But most of all she hated him for making her love him.
She hated that despite all her hatred, he would always be her first.
The first man she ever wanted.
The first man she ever trusted.
The first man she ever loved.
No matter how she tried to forget, she would always remember the joy of thinking she had finally found a kindred soul in her lonely world.
She would always remember the feeling of hope that everything was going to be right at last.
She would always remember the unfaltering faith she had held onto in her darkest hour, so sure that he would save her.
She would always remember the dreams she had allowed herself to dream those short few days. Dreams of a life lived together, a future, a home.
She would always remember the wonder of believing without doubt or fear that she was loved in return.
Anna hated Hans more than anything; but as much as she hated him Anna also knew that some tiny broken, barely there part of her, would never stop loving him.
And she hated that.