For Foxy - Merry Christmas! Sorry it's depressing
Christmas Without You
As the run up to Christmas arrived, Rose tried to get festive. She tried to enjoy herself and be happy, but it was a lot easier said than done. By mid-October shops were starting to fill up with selection boxes, and tinsel and decorations. By the end of November it was complete madness, there was no getting away from it. Christmas lights were up, and had been turned on in town, there was even a huge Christmas tree in the middle of town. Shops had all sorts of deals on presents for kids, for him, for her. And Rose wanted nothing more than to escape from it all.
It wasn't really Christmas that was the problem. She loved Christmas, she had always loved Christmas. It was the Doctor that was the problem. Or rather the Daleks and Cybermen, after all they were to blame not the Doctor. The Doctor wasn't here and the approaching Christmas was just a continual reminder of that fact.
Every time Christmas was mentioned, Rose was forced to relive last Christmas. It was a whole year and whole universe away from now, but Rose remembered it like it was yesterday. Living in a huge house, with countless rooms - (or at least that's how it felt) - couldn't stop her from remembering her, her Mum, Mickey and the Doctor in the flat on the Powell Estate. What she would give to be back there again.
'Oh that ones yours' the Doctor had said, passing Rose a pink paper hat, which he had pulled out of a cracker.
'Ah pink' Rose said, while putting it on. 'Mum, it should be yours'
The Doctor didn't do domestic, Rose knew well, but he had for her. It felt like there was a lot he'd do for her that he wouldn't normally do. She wished she could see him again, hold him closely again, be with him again. Months had passed since she had lost him, and she'd got passed the stage of crying all the time and barely doing anything, but she still missed him. She still wasn't ready to move on, she was unsure if she ever would be. She was sure than everything would always remind her of him and cause that sharp pain in her chest.
When she went Christmas shopping with Mickey, she expected to see Robot Santas.
When she joked about her Mother's cooking, she remembered the Doctor's comment about how she should good.
When she went away for a few days, she remembered her Mum's worry about it not being save.
When she felt like screaming at Tony she stopped, remembering the Doctor saying "What about trying to understand them" about children.
Working for Torchwood was the worst, she hated every minute of it, knowing that it was Torchwood in the other universe than had caused all her problems. Everything would be fine without Christmas.
She spotted a spaceship model, some Star Trek toy, and was reminded of last Christmas once again, when the spaceship broke into the Earth's atmosphere. She sighed, this was going to be the hardest Christmas ever. Her only comfort was it was come and be over in 24 hours. Then bringing the start of another year without the Doctor.