Kate opened her eyes groggily against the darkness and groaned at the now familiar feeling that had awoken her.
"This is all your fault," she whispered, adjusting her nightshirt over her baby bump, "using my bladder as a trampoline."
The languages teacher lay still for a moment, torn between the warm bed and the need to use the bathroom. Forcing herself awake, she stretched sleepily and marvelled yet again at how lucky she was. A few weeks ago she would never have let herself imagine lying in Caroline's bed, wrapped in expensive cotton sheets and planning the arrival of their daughter. Now that she was here, even having to pee every five minutes seemed like a small price to pay.
Eventually the brunette could not fight getting up any longer. Taking a deep breath, she swung her legs over the side of the bed and reached for the bedside lamp. Warm light filled the room and she rubbed her eyes against the sudden glow.
Glancing over to check on Caroline, Kate realised with a jolt that the bed was empty. A nagging doubt crept into her mind, and bubbling up beneath her happiness was the unshakeable feeling that Caroline was keeping her at a distance; was hiding something from her. All thoughts of the bathroom forgotten, Kate rose from the bed in search of her partner.
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As she padded barefoot down luxurious stairs, Kate quietly marvelled at Caroline's house. Although undeniably impressive, it remained slightly impersonal, perfectly reflecting its gorgeous owner. The brunette fleetingly missed her homely little cottage.
Reaching the hallway, she headed towards a strip of light emanating from under the kitchen door, pushing it open and pausing at the entrance.
Caroline was curled up in an armchair facing the large patio doors, legs drawn up under her body, and a coffee cup cradled in her hands. She was staring into the inky blackness outside, as though she could see the beautiful garden hidden behind it.
Taking advantage of a rare chance to admire her partner unobserved, Kate found herself captivated by the woman before her. Caroline's blonde hair stood up all over the place, her smart make-up had been removed, and she wore nothing but an oversized button-up blue shirt.
Kate loved Caroline when she looked like this, her powerful public persona stripped away, leaving a woman so different to the one everybody else saw. Kate felt so privileged to see this Caroline, her Caroline, that she realised she had been staring for what could be considered a slightly indecent amount of time.
With this in mind, the brunette cleared her throat and stepped into the room. Caroline jumped, eyes flicking towards her in surprise.
For a second, the sadness in the blonde's expression washed over Kate, before it snapped shut behind a tight smile that made her stomach drop; her girlfriend was definitely hiding something behind the mask she normally reserved for everyone else.
Unsure how to proceed, the younger woman nervously bit her lip as Caroline's blue eyes searched her face, noting the concerned frown with a pang of guilt, before running appreciatively down her partner's body. She came to a stop at bare feet, which were placed almost childishly one over the other as protection from the cold tiles.
The corners of Caroline's mouth twitched upwards into a small smile, finding the sight hugely endearing in spite of her mood.
Kate glanced down, following the blonde's gaze. "What?" she asked, suddenly apprehensive.
Caroline shrugged, "You look lovely," came the disarmingly simple reply.
Kate rolled her eyes, "Caroline, I feel like a whale!"
The headmistress stood, eyes glued to the woman before her, "Well you look -".
"Beached?" the brunette asked, stretching her arms wide to display her bump.
A genuine smile broke across Caroline's tired face. The transformation was amazing.
"Perfect," she finished quietly.
Kate blushed and Caroline felt her heart swell at the sight. She stepped towards her girlfriend, putting a hand against her warm cheek and pulling her in for a kiss.
Smiling against soft lips Kate opened her mouth in response to a swipe from Caroline's tongue, feeling the blonde hum in appreciation.
Part of her wanted to stay in the blonde's arms forever, but as the kiss began to escalate Kate pulled away, taking a step backwards and sinking into an armchair with an apologetic smile.
She gestured for Caroline do the same and her girlfriend followed suit, stretching out a hand towards her, "What are you doing up at this time?"
Kate gave the offered palm an affectionate squeeze, "I could ask you the same question."
Her chocolatey eyes were so apprehensive that Caroline's heart ached. She felt a rush of self-loathing at the lie she already knew she would tell, because she was too much of a coward to risk Kate's expression of gentle concern crumpling into something much worse.
"I just couldn't sleep."
She waved her hand dismissively but the lie rang hollow, even to her own ears.
Kate's raised eyebrow spoke volumes, and Caroline felt slightly unnerved at how easily the other woman could read her.
"It's nothing to do with us is it?"
It was the question Caroline had been dreading, and she studied the contents of her coffee mug in an attempt to avoid piercing brown eyes, "Of course not. I don't know what's wrong with me really."
Kate took a small breath to force down her nerves, "Look Caroline, if you aren't happy we really need to talk about it, because there will be a baby here soon and that situation wouldn't be fair on anyone - especially her."
The truth of the words chipped at Caroline's heart, but she forced herself to reassuringly squeeze her girlfriend's hand, "Honestly Kate, it's nothing for you to worry about."
For a few seconds, silence hung between them, and maybe it was because she was tired, or maybe it was because she simply couldn't hold it all in anymore, but Caroline found herself continuing, "What if I don't know how to just be happy after all these years?"
The words were so heavy that the headmistress felt physically deflated by the weight of them. A tiny part of the truth had tumbled out and she was worried it was all too much; that Kate would see she was broken and would not want to be lumbered with an emotionally repressed, uptight control freak.
Finding the courage to look up, Caroline sighed at the small frown marring Kate's perfect skin, "I just have something nagging at me. I'm not even sure what it is, but it really is nothing for you to worry about."
Smiling sadly, Kate leaned forward to place a chaste kiss against her girlfriend's lips, "You are as capable of happiness as anyone, Caroline. I've seen it with my own eyes."
The blonde looked up, surprised at the conviction in her tone. She felt the sudden urge to cry.
Kate watched as emotions flickered across Caroline's face. Taking a deep breath, she pulled herself upright and tried one last time to break through, "I know that something's wrong. We're partners and I wish you would just talk to me. I'm not made of china and I won't break if you tell me things."
With that, the brunette stood.
For an awful moment Caroline thought that she was about to walk away.
Instead, the younger woman held out her hand, "Want to dance?" she asked, a deadly serious look on her face.
Caroline laughed in spite of herself, "Kate, its three o'clock in the morning."
"I know that Caroline, but you won't talk to me, so I might as well distract you instead."
Suddenly the headmistress was taken back to the night a few weeks ago, when she had been looking up at Kate like this. The lovely brunette holding out her hand; offering forgiveness - complete happiness - if only she had the guts, finally, to reach out in front of everyone she knew and simply dance with the woman she loved.
She had reached out then, as she was doing now (in her kitchen, in the middle of the night!), and had felt more content than she had in years. Caroline prayed it would work the same magic this time.
XXXXX
Pulling the older woman to her feet, Kate led them to the middle of the room. She hugged Caroline close and began to gently sway and turn.
A small smile tugged at the headmistress' lips as she realised how ridiculous they must look, both in nothing but nightshirts, waltzing in a silent kitchen. She closed her eyes and gently rested her forehead against Kate's.
Relaxing into the feeling of warm hands on her waist, Caroline linked her arms behind her partner's neck and stroked soft circles against her skin. It felt wonderful, the smell of Kate's body lotion soothing away her fears as they swayed.
Caroline pulled the taller woman towards her and lifted her head imperceptibly. The brunette's mouth dipped down in response, lips meeting Caroline's in the darkness.
The kiss was soft at first, but became slowly more pressing as hands slid down Kate's body to rest possessively over her backside. Caroline deepened the kiss and sighed happily as the swell of Kate's stomach and chest pressed flush against her.
She grudgingly acknowledged that her girlfriend's plan was ingenious. She was more aroused than she would willingly admit, and as she tugged gently at Kate's bottom lip with her teeth, the small moan of approval that escaped her partner sent a jolt of desire straight to Caroline's core.
Needing more contact, she lifted the younger woman's shirt to gain access to her bare back, only stilling her movements when Kate drew her mouth away.
The blonde's eyes snapped open in frustration and Kate breathed out a small laugh at the outraged look on her face. Slowly, she began trailing kisses along Caroline's jawline, enjoying the small gasp that escaped the other woman as her eyes fluttered closed.
"I would love to continue this," Kate whispered in a tone that made Caroline's insides clench, "but I have honestly never needed to pee so much in my entire life."
The headmistress let out a disbelieving laugh as her girlfriend stepped back, grinning sheepishly in the moonlight.
"Are you really not going to finish what you started, Miss McKenzie?" she asked, raising an eyebrow incredulously.
"Sorry," smiled Kate, "but at least you've got something to distract you while you're down here moping." She tucked a lock of tousled hair behind Caroline's ear, "You really can talk to me, you know?"
The words pulled Caroline back to reality, tears once again pricking the back of her eyes. She nodded mutely, her gut twisting at her inadequate response.
And then the woman she loved was walking away, glancing over her shoulder as she reached the doorway, "Oh, and Caroline – don't be too long, I would quite like to finish what we just started."
The headmistress nodded and watched her gorgeous partner leave, taking her warmth and comfort with her.
Caroline sighed, longing to put her nagging doubts to rest and follow the captivating brunette upstairs.
Instead she found herself turning away to stare out into the darkness once more.
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