Author's Note: Alright, so this is basically a 'Sirius and Remus run an advice column' story. Basically, the first bit is the letters, and then we wrote physical responces. This is SLASH. I'm sorry if you don't like. This is in a roleplay-like fashion... Sord of... xD
Co-Written By: Sighrus - Moosxaxlot, with help by Jess.
Disclaimor: We do not own anything, exept the writing. If we owned the characters, Remus and Sirius would be snogging like crazy... In front of us... And Peter would be adorable...And such...
Warnings: Suggestiveness, there might be some swearing, but I'm not quite sure.
In The Letters: Bold means Sirius' talking/writing, Italics mean Remus' writing
Is this going to be the last chapter? No, it is not. Please reveiw! You will get hero cookies!
-- Ashley Langer (xhauntedpassionx)
Dear Sirius and Remus,
My boyfriend dumped me this week for a pretty girl in Slytherin. I think she's a slut. What should I do?
--Heartbroken
Dear person who should bloody well move on,
Hey! Would you move on in a week if I left you? Bastard... No! Remmy! I'd never be able to move on! My heart would be shattered to a million peices, the world would fade to black and white, I- I get it! I was only kidding. Anyways, Heartbroken needs advice, you git. Now, I know that love gets complicated at times, but I'm sure that you will find someone that will cherish you -- As long as it's not my Remmy! Nor I, for I am taken. You should try Peter! He's not a bad guy. He's kind, and... uh... smart words... and a cool guy! Sirius, I'm pretty sure that she - or he? - doesn't need you suggesting new guys right now. Okay, okay. Just trying to help, sheesh...I know, but really... Actually, I have no idea what to tell her - or him? - either... Uh... Just be yourself. It's okay to be upset. Yeah... I'm sure that you will find the special someone soon... And, Sirius was right, Peter is nice! Good Luck!
--Sirius Black and Remus Lupin
Dear Sirius and Remus,
I've been with my girlfriend since second year. I love her, I really do... I think she's expecting me to propose after we graduate in June, but I'm really not ready to get married... What should I do? I don't want to hurt her by putting it off...
--Scared
Dear Scared,
Rem, can you leave for this one?What? Why? ... Don't give me that look... Alright, fine... Now that I've gotten Remus out of the room... I know exactly how you feel. I've been going out with my boyfriend since fifth year and I really don't know if he's into the whole getting married thing. And I've always been known for being a failure with commitment... I say wait for now. When you're ready, go out and buy the ring and ask her. If she really loves you, she'll understand.
-Sirius Black
Dear Sirius and Remus,
I've liked this girl since first year, but every-time I make an advance, or ask her out, she calls me names and points out that I'm an arrogant toerag. What can I do to make her see that I'm a good guy?
--Obsessed
Dear JAMES POTTER,
Yes, we know it's you, you idiot. Next time, pick a different insult than the one we hear her call you all the time. Yeah Prongs mate, gonna have to try harder to fool us. Try not being a git. That worked for me. Well, you have to admit that he seems to be trying this year. Yeah... Good luck, pigheaded prat! Yeah, good luck, mate.
-Remus and Sirius
Dear Sirius and Remus,
This summer, I met somebody while shopping in Glasgow... The problem is that he is a muggle, and my family will not respond well to it... I'm already involved in an arranged marriage with another well respected family. What can I do to please everybody?
--Pureblood
Dear Pureblood,
You can't please everyone. It's not possible. Do you love this prearranged marriage guy? If not, go for the muggle guy. Who cares what your family thinks? If they really love you they'll realize that you chose happiness over a life of regrets. It's not easy to go against your parents but sometimes... sometimes things have to be done that aren't easy and aren't fun. You've got to stick up for yourself. Takes risks. Life is suppose to be an adventure. We're all inclined to seek happiness. Do something for yourself. If the eldest son of the great Black family can be a Gryffindor and proud, you can be the pureblood that married a muggle and was happy.
-Sirius Black
Dear Sirius and Remus,
I may have accidentally let a terrible terrible name for somebody coming from a muggle family slip out in regards to somebody who was once my best friend, and now she'll have nothing to do with me. What can I do to repair the damage done?
--Loose Lips
Dear Loose Lips,
I've done that once. Absolutely sucks, huh? Anyway, my friend was mad at me for a very long time. When he finally cooled down enough to attually tolerate me in the same room as him again, we had a really long talk about why I'd said what I had. I'm not good at describing my feelings, but he understood. Maybe you should give the lady some time to calm down before you approach her again. And with ladies, chocolate always helps!
-Sirius Black
Dear Lupin and... Sirius,
Ever since my brother left home, the family values have been being pressed on me more than ever. My entire life is basically being planned out by my parents and... other people. I am not happy, but I put on a mask so that they think that I am a proper... Uhh... Nevermind.
-- Forced.
Dear Forced,
Sounds like life sucks for you right now. I don't know why your brother would have left, but I think you should assume he had good reasons. Maybe you should try to get in contact with him and ask. Might help, you never know. Honestly, I know someone that might just feel the same way as you, isn't that right Sirius? Well, I am pretty sure that your brother did have good reasons, so I wouldn't go blaming this all on him. If anything, it is the fault of those that are pressuring you into doing things you don't want to. Maybe try standing up to them, but remember that there is a time and place for those type of things. So be careful.
-- Remus and Sirius
Dear Remus and Sirius,
My parents want me to become a mediwitch... How do I tell them that I just want to be in a rock band?
--Dreamer
Dear Dreamer,
I say that the best thing would be to sit down with them and explain you point of veiw. Invite the band over. Play a few songs. Scream something about not being a doctor. Easy. Or you could do that, but then they might get annoyed and not see where your coming from. Though some people would rather thier parents not see where they're coming from. Good point. Anyways, just do what you feel is right for you, Dreamer.
--Sirius Black and Remus Lupin
Remus and Sirius,
My older sister has been acting awfully funny... I noticed on Christmas Break that she would disappear at the strangest times, and it always seemed as though something happened while she was gone... She's really not the type, but I... Well, I don't really want to write down what I think... Should I confront her about it, or simply trust she's doing something less... evil?
-- Little Brother
Dear Little Brother,
You might not want to admit that there's a problem, but you need to solve it. It can be hard for clues to all point toward someone you care so much about. But you've got to handel it. Ask your sister straight up. It's the only way you'll know for sure. Don't go through life wondering. If something is bothering you, and you are not sure if you are worrying for nothing or not, try to figure out if your suspicion is true. If you don't solve it, it will just keep coming back and biting you on the ass.So just take it in stride. Do what you have to do.
--Sirius and Remus
Dear Remus and Sirius,
I've fought with my friends before, but this time one of them really hurt me. It wasn't a usual fight, it was over something that could affect our friendship for the rest of our lives. I want to forgive him, I really do... It's just that I'm not sure I can. It's too important to just forgive him. What should I do?
--Lost it
Dear Lost it,
I understand fully what you are going through. The same thing happened to me a few years ago. One of my best friends... had betrayed me in a very big way. I avoided him for months, but I couldn't stay away, no matter how much my pride wanted me to. I love him too much to not forgive him. I say follow your heart. If you want to forgive him, forgive him, because you won't be happy until you do.
--Remus Lupin
The night stars glittered brightly with only a sliver of the moon to dull their beauty. One amber eyed gaze gave them a moment of scrutiny before turning to grin at his boyfriend. Yes, they had had the most perfect idea ever. Starting an advice offer by himself, Remus, and his boyfriend, Sirius. The two had recieved a very great response. They'd gotten a few letters into the box before they stumbled across one sighed by 'Scared.' Curious, Remus picked it up and read it over, as did Sirius. Sirius seemed to have a sort of longing to answer this one etched on his face. The young Lupin sighed and touched the end of the quick quote quill to the parchment, and it wrote down "Dear Scared" as Remus said it.
"Remus wait!" Sirius said suddenly bursting. Can I answer this one, please? You'd only have to leave to room for a moment..." the quick quotes quill, charmed to listen to them both, began to scribble down 'Rem, can you leave for this one?' He frowned at it for a moment before turning his face toward his Lupin's.
Remus raised an eyebrow at his boyfriend. "What? Why? ..." The words were scribbled onto the paper, as Sirius gave him his special puppydog look. "Don't give me that look... Alright, fine..." He stood and walked out, leaving Sirius to answer it.
Sirius smiled slightly the werewolf listened to him and walked off. This was good. Now he could concentrate on the letter. Before long, it's reply was put into the box.
After a time more, Sirius had found himself quite distracted in staring at Remus in general. Even hidden under all that clothing the werewolf was desirable. Unresistably so. But he'd keep himself in check. No more than he thought would be permitted as they were suppose to be concentrating. One arm snaked around his boyfriend's waist and his head lay comfortably next to the other's shoulder. He was rather relaxed, but more so completely spaced out in his Remus-centered fantasies whule the other worked for a bit.
Remus was basically just looking through the tower of letters they got - okay, so it wasn't a 'tower' exactly - and couldn't help the feeling like he was being watched. Well, of course he was being watched. Sirius was beside him, and being silent. That was when he felt an arm around his waist, and a head on his shoulder. Remus smiled and kissed the boy's head, as he turned to the next letter in the pile. After reading through it, his head raised in shock and amusement. "Sirius! It's from Prongs!"
"No way!" Sirius was snapped to alertness by the words and quickly read over the letter. "It is! We have to tease him now!" he proclaimed, grinning as he shifted closer to Remus. "Start replying, Remmy!" he muttered next, too excited to think of a good enough way to word his evil but brillient ideas.
Remus laughed and touched the quill to the parchment, and began speaking. He didn't bother saying 'Dear Obsessed.' Instead, he just said, "Dear James Potter" and went on from that. It was hilarious that they were going advice to the person beside them, sleeping, through writing.
As they finished the letter, Sirius looked over to the werewolf with a question in his eyes. "I'm trying this year too! Right, right?"
Remus turned and smiled at the other boy. "Sirius, you don't even have to try. Prongs, however, does. Alot."
"Would you still love me if I was bad, Remmy?" Sirius asked, a suggestive smirk complimenting his words. Maybe he wasn't trying as hard as he claimed. But Remus had told him he didn't have to try and by god he wouldn't.
"Bad in what sense?" Remus asked, a smirk of his own playing on his lips. "A bad boy? A murderer? A bad kisser? Naughty, because we all know you already are."
"Well love," Sirius whispered into his boyfriend's ear before pausing a moment to nibble playfully upon it. "I seem to have forgotten." he gave the skin a light lick while slowly moving away from the ear and down the werewolf's jawline. "But if you help me, maybe I'll remember." his final promise brought his lips to the other's and he quickly covered the space between them to bring their lips together.
"Glad to." Remus whispered againts Sirius' lips, before contributing to the kiss. Lying down, and pulling his boyfriend on top of him, he ran a hand through the dark hair. He wanted more, as Sirius always made him want more; therefore, the young Lupin licked the other's top lip, asking for entrance even though he knew that he didn't need to.
Sirius didn't need the lick more than once to know what Remus wanted. His mouth opened in a split second to await his lover's tongue. He may have been on top of the werewolf then, but he was more than completely whipped by the young Lupin. Not that he minded in the least. In fact, life was more exciting when he could respect his lover enough to both give and take orders now wasn't it?
Remus smiled againts the other's lips for a second before he slipped his tongue into his lover's mouth, feeling Sirius' tongue againts his own. Remus moaned slightly. Sirius straddling him always ended in the same way, with both rather hard, and forced to do something about it. He just hoped James wouldn't wake up this time. Peter slept like the dead, so he was never a bother.
A stronger moan escaped Sirius than that which had left Remus as he felt the other's tongue playing against his own. This was something he could never get tired of. Kissing the young Lupin only got better each and every time. One of his hands tangled itself in the other's hair while his remaining hand held him up. He could already feel himself getting hard, he just hoped they weren't interupted this time.
Remus let a small 'Mmm' into the other's mouth, and took his hands out of the other's hair. His hands, instead, reached for the buttons on Sirius' shirt. Unfortunately, the creaking of bedsprings was heard. James. Oh damn. Why did Prongs have to have a habit of waking up during the night?
Sirius grinned lightly as his shirt fell and quickly set his fingers to do the same to Remus'.
James was in fact very uncomfortable as he heard the moans. He was even more disturbed to see the shapes of his friends making out and doing... other things while he could only stand there frightened. "Guys, get a fucking broom closet!"
Remus smirked, pulling his lips away from Sirius', and glanced over to James. He looked rather disturbed. "Awh, Sirius? Should we go, so we don't scar him for life, or just stay here? I, for one, was enjoying that too much to wait until we get the curtains closed... And get wands... and cast spells."
"Uhg! I'll be in the common room if anyone needs me." James hissed, turning around and quickly fleeing the room. He really, really didn't want to know.
Sirius, on the other handwas more than happy to kiss the other once again.
"Mmm... Siri?" Remus broke the kiss once again. "As much as I would love to continue, we still need to answer the advice letters, love."
Sirius could only groan at Remus' words as he slowly rolled off him. "You wound me, Moony." he whined as he turned back to the stack of letters. It didn't seem much shorter than from when they had begun.
Remus chuckled, kissed the other's cheek, and got off the bed. "I'd better go tell James that it's safe to come in." At that, he walked out of the dorm.
Sirius was left to answer the next few letters all by his lonesome. He found that he could not only connect and actually give good advice to the people he was writing, he was actually rather enjoying doing so. Though he would never admit it, it was nice to help others out for a change. He was, however, getting rather tired as he scrawled out his replies and waited for Remus to come back up the stairs.
The dorm door opened, and Remus and James walked in. James, grumbling about horny roomates, and Remus snickering with a small blush evident on his cheeks. "We're back, my love. And Pete... but he's asleep." The young Lupin said quietly and crawled onto his bed.
"Welcome back, guys." Sirius mumbled, signing the letter he had just finished for 'Loose Lips' before turning to Remus. James had already gotten back into bed by this point as the young Black gave his boyfriend a quick kiss on the cheek. He wasn't nearly as tired as he had been just moments before. Everything was different with the werewolf around, after all. As soon as he'd finished greeting the young Lupin, he reached lazily for their next letter. While reading it over, a slight frown caught his face. "Rem... Look at this..." he mumbled, handing it over.
Remus grabbed the letter, and read through it. He could see why Sirius was frowning over the letter from 'Forced'. The person's older brother left, and Sirius had left his younger brother. Did it feel to close to home? "Poor boy..."
"Uh... I'll start it..." Sirius muttered, gently taking the letter back before beginning the response. It didn't take him too long before he'd handed it off to Remus once more.
When they finished replying to the letter - they had done it by hand, since James and Peter were sleeping - Remus glanced over at Sirius and whispered, "You look tired, Pads."
They had only just finished their letter to 'Forced' at this time and Sirius just knew he could stay up long enough for more letters. He had to as it would be unfair to leave Remus writing them by himself. "No, no. Not at all!" he answered, pulling the next letter over to him to get a better look at it. "You'll love this one, Rem. Dreamer is hilarious."
Remus glanced at it, looking the parchment over, and raised an eyebrow at Sirius. "So... Wanting to be in a rock band... Is... hilarious...? Okay then, love." The tawny-haired boy smirked.
"I... It's just caught me as funny. Don't laugh at me!" Sirius complained, grinning slightly. He was getting progressingly tired by now but just new he could stay awake to help finish answering all these.
They finished up a few more letters, and Sirius was looking more tired than ever. "Siri, go to sleep."
Sirius didn't reply. In fact, he couldn't. He had slumped slightly in his spot on the bed, his head lolling to the side to rest on Remus' shoulder as he snored every so softly. He had simply been unable to stay awake much longer and Remus' invitation was more than enough to his tired mind.
Remus smiled to himself and set Sirius' head on the pillow. It would be way more comfortable than his shoulder. Grabbing another letter, one from 'Lost It', he read through it. 'Lost It' was wondering about forgiving a friend. Oh dear... Remus could relate. The topic made the young Lupin stare down at the dark-haired boy for a bit before turning back to the parchment. He began writing.
Don't forget to reveiw!