"..."
"..."
"Sasuke?"
I felt him shift on top of me, which I assume was a signal that he was listening. I sighed. Every Saturday, Sasuke and I hang out. I go to his house with my newest shojo manga and lay on his bed while he reads some bloody and guts comic and lays on top of me. Today, I just got a Fruits Basket manga in french and was trying to translate it. Sasuke's head was lying on my stomach, substituting the pillow my own head was on.
Why did I have this inner turmoil while he was able to be so at ease?
"I have to tell you something" I was beating around the bush. I knew it, Sasuke knew it, but really, not everyone can be as blunt as him. I expected him to give me some sort of look as to tell me to get the hell on with it, but all I got was a small 'Hn'. He wasn't listening. I snatched the comic out of his grasp and threw it to the other side of the room.
"Hey."
That's what he says to me. Hey. God, sometimes, it's like he has no emotions. I sigh again and Sasuke gets up to retrieve the comic. "Every time you sigh, you shrink an inch. It's really no wonder you're so short," Sasuke says. I get up off the bed and move closer to the door. This way, If Sasuke tells me to take off (or if I become an emotional wreck), I can get out quick.
"Sasuke." He holds the comic awkwardly in his hands, finally aware that I'm trying to tell him something serious. Took him long enough.
"Sakura." It's almost sad to think that I might never be able to hear him say my name that way again. Unbearable, even. Still, this is important and it's not really something I can't tell him.
"You might never want to talk to me again after I say this, and I could understand why. I mean, a lot of guys would react that way. It's a weird thing to hear, especially at eighteen. You could even say it's overwhelming." I'm babbling.
"Sakura." I look at him, feeling really stupid. I really should get on with it. So I do.
"I'm pregnant."
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
What is he thinking, saying we should keep the baby?
"Sakura."
What would my parents say? What would the kids at school think?
"Sakura."
Was I even ready to have a baby? No way. And Sasuke can't be ready to be a father. I mean seriously. We're eighteen. But still, he was pretty happy when I told him...
What the hell is he thinking?
"Sakura!"
"Why the hell do you think we should have a baby?" Ok, so I didn't really plan on saying it. Then again, I didn't really plan on getting pregnant either.
Sasuke's looking at me a bit weirdly now. "Can we talk about this later?" he whispers.
"Why not now?" I say that in a loud voice, just to tick him off because it obvious he's trying to be quite.
"Because we're in a movie theater." I look around us and see some old people looking at us, scandalized. I feel my face heat up. I had totally forgot that we went to see a movie. Sasuke grabs my hand and pulls me out of the theater, all the way to his car. I'm look at Sasuke the whole time because I still expect an answer, and a good one at that.
Suddenly, Sasuke faces me and I know whatever he's about to say is embarrassing to him because his ears are really red. Like as red as those tomatoes he likes to each so much. ' I want you to have the baby because I want you to have my children is something along the lines of what I expect to hear. I know Sasuke doesn't give a hoot about abortion and that he loves me, so that really the only reason that would make sense.
"Because I think that what we did wasn't a mistake and that having you abort it would be like we were ashamed of it. Besides, I think I might like being a dad. It'll motivate me to get through college." In Sasuke speak, this means I love you. I love hearing Sasuke find ways to say it to me without actually saying it. He likes to make his words count and being cliche about it is a waste, according to him.
"Okay." I can't really think of anything else to say. Worrying about all this baby stuff is really dampening my wit. Sasuke starts the car and begins to take me home. There's a comfortable silence between us, but I have one last thing to say.
"Oh, and Sasuke?"
"Yeah?"
"I love you too"
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
My parents invite Sasuke over for lunch. It's been a two months since I told Sasuke and he's afraid I'm going to start showing soon. We both know this is the perfect time to tell them, but it's still hard. So the four of us are at the table, the two of us sitting across my parents, eating the burgers my dad cooked up on the grill. My mom is telling some story about hair grips, her boss and a grapefruit when I feel a sudden urge to break the normalcy we're having.
"I'm pregnant" I blurt out, taking a Sasuke approach to it. We had practiced saying it, and Sasuke had said it would have been easier if I just spit it out. My mom immediately shuts up and looks at my dad expectantly. My dad is just looking at the two of us, wide-eyed.
"You're what?"
"Pregnant, dad. You know, I got a bun in the oven. A special prize inside." I see his face turn slightly green and my mom, well, she looks a bit disinterested. I bet she already knew.
"Twenty bucks, baby" My mom says, putting her palm out to my dad. Sasuke seems a bit shocked and I just rolled my eyes. I should have known this would happen. Gambling is the way my family connects.
"This is what I get for trusting my daughter," My dad grumbled. "Literately." He hands my mom the money and they continue eating. I feel surprisingly relieved.
"So you're okay with it?" I ask, hoping that this isn't a dream.
"What's done is done. We'll set up an appointment for the thing to be taken care of, and then we can get on with our lives. But you aren't getting an allowance anymore." My dad takes a bite out of some coleslaw, and instantly regrets it. My mom really can't cook.
I shift in my seat a bit awkwardly and say, "Well, um, daddy, I actually want to have the baby." I'm facing my lap, but I look through my bangs at my father, who seems slightly miffed.
"Well, then we'll find a nice set of parents for the lil' thing. Your mom will call up an agency after pie" He says as he continues munching. I swear, the man loves food so much, he measures time in the period from one meal to the next.
"There's no need for that, daddy. Sasuke and I already found the perfect pair." My dad is starting to look a bit angry, seeing how things aren't really going his way.
"Who might they be?" I suddenly don't know how I'm going to get the rest out, but Sasuke grabs my hand from under the table and speaks in his I'm-right-and-you're-wrong voice.
"That would be us, sir. Sakura and I want to have to baby together."
My father explodes.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
Telling my friends wasn't as hard as telling my parents because they would say to me, "Hey Sakura, have you gained a bit of weight?" and I would reply (elegantly, of course), "No, dumbass. I'm pregnant" and then they would laugh until they realized I was serious. Or I would punch them. You know, whichever came first.
Most people are okay with it, although Lee did try to give me a lecture about how this is exactly why premarital sex is bad, but Sasuke took care of him before it he became too annoying. I do know a few people who are jealous of me (they want Sasuke's babies), which I find way weird because I find this to be a bit of a death wish. I mean, my lil' bundle of 'joy' is gonna come just around the end of the year exams, just before Sasuke and I are shipped off to college.
I'm actually really lucky in a way, considering Sasuke and I both got accepted to schools in New York City. We're gonna share an apartment with Sasuke's older brother, which I know is a big sacrifice for Sasuke because he absolutely hates Itachi. But who cares about Sasuke's emo issues, back to my friends.
Ino was shocked at first, which was pretty obvious from her "Holy shit, I didn't even know you guys were doing it!" I just shook my head sadly and walked away to let her deal with her craziness. Hinata fainted, something she hasn't done since the ninth grade, but I guess old habits die hard. Tenten slapped my back and said "Good job for tapping your man before I did mine" and continued to her lacrosse game. I didn't really expect much else from her.
Naruto tried to beat up Sasuke, to which they both got in detention for. Shikamaru said that everyone should have already known, for god's sake, and Neji kind of ignored me. What was really weird was my English teacher, Kakashi-sensei, told me to not go into labor in his class and gave Sasuke a job well done hand shake. Let's just say Sasuke got another detention for assaulting a teacher.
It was pretty big gossip at my school for a while, but it soon died down. Still, I get a kick out of walking down the hallway and having kids make a path for me like I was Moses or something. It almost made having the thing worth it. Almost.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
"Sakura, I don't think you should be cooking in your condition" Sasuke says to me, looking up from his homework. I, on the other hand, am still trying to try the strings fo my apron. I haven't gotten huge yet, but that doesn't mean I can magically tie a knot behind my back. Usually, I just bring the strings to the front to be tied, but I'm too fat for that now.
"I'm pregnant Sasuke, not disabled. Besides, I really have a craving for some jelly donuts." I say, hopelessly trying to tie the strings. Sasuke sighs and gives me a you're-an-idiot look, but he gets up to help me anyway.
"Then I'll drop by Dunkin' Donuts to buy you some," He says, even though he's tying the apron on. "But I'm not just gonna make donuts, Sasuke. I'm gonna make banana bread, and muffins and some cookies too. Really, you don't want me to become a bad cook just because I'm bearing your devil-offspring!"
"It's not going to be a devil because of me, that's for sure" He mumbles, to which I throw a sugar bag at him for. "I'm an angel, Sasuke. You've said it yourself"
"Well, I take it back." I hit him with a spatula. "Shut up, you. I have business to take care of. You just do your homework like a good lil' nerd and you can eat all my delicious cooking when you're done."
"What ever happened to your homework? I'm sure as hell not doing it for you." I snorted, which I know ticks Sasuke off because he thinks it's 'unladylike'. Yeah, like he knows how to be a lady.
"Well, I did it while I was at the doctors office, waiting for my turn at the ultrasound. I got to skip out early. That's why I had you meet me here instead of walking me home" I say, feeling a lot cooler than he did at the moment. "Well, excuse me Ms. Expert Knickers. Some of weren't given permission to go."
"I don't get it. I thought your parents were cool with the baby, so why couldn't you come? I wanted you to be there." It was a bit scary, with just me and my mom. Sasuke would have known exactly what to say to make me fell better, especially after they put the goo on my stomach.
"My parents are more than cool, they're thrilled. Since Itachi is the oldest and still hasn't given them a grandchild, they're giddy over our little kid. My dad doesn't want me to miss a minute of school, because I've got to provide a 'good life' for my kid and wife."
I blinked, a bit stunned. "Sasuke, I'm not your wife."
"But you will be" He slides a little black box over the table. "I want you to marry me. Otherwise that lil' Uchiha won't be a Uchiha."
I gasp. First he gets me pregnant, and now he wants me to marry him? "Sasuke, come on, think about this." Now he snorts at me.
"Please. Like I need to think about marrying you."
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
"Sasuke, I'm sorry, but we are not having any juniors in the family. I'd rather shoot myself than have a little Fugaku or mini you running around the house. Well, that is, if it's a boy."
"Why not? My name is perfectly suitable for the creature. And my father's name is just as good" He crosses his arms over his chest and I can't help but think that he looks like he did when we were five and I said tomatoes were the worst fruit to ever be planted.
"Well then, how about Itachi, while we're naming it after your family!" I jump off the couch and throw the baby name book Ino got me at him. My feet were hurting and I was sure that my bladder was going to burst any second now. I ran to the bathroom, moaning as I did so, and let it rip.
Sasuke was waiting for me when I came out and I just started crying, for god knows why. I was feeling a bit overly emotional lately and Sasuke had been very patient with me. But I still felt the need to complain. " This sucks! I don't want to be pregnant!"
"A little to late for that now" He says into my hair as he pulls me into a hug. I sob a bit, feeling awful. "And who's fault do you think that is?"
Sasuke rolls his eyes and starts to lead me upstairs, to my bedroom. He lays me on the bed hugs my back to his chest. "Get some rest. Being pregnant makes you irritable." I give a weak laugh and put my hands over his. I can see the little ring Sasuke gave me, a family heirloom. It's just a white-gold band with a small diamond in it, but it makes me feel special. It's simple, just like Sasuke.
As I start to doze off I hear a small mummer of "Sasuke jr. I swear it." and then I get worked up all over again.
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
" Excuse me, comin' through! Uh, Hello! Pregnant lady here!" So maybe using my condition to get me to the front of the lunch line is a little wrong, but being pregnant has to get me some kicks. Really, I'm not swelled up like a balloon for nothin'.
I grab as much food as I can, putting as much as possible on the dinky little tray. Looking at all the food makes me even hungrier, so I put some more stuff on top of what I already have. By the time I'm at the cashier, my plate is practically overflowing.
I walk to the table slowly, yelling at anyone who comes within a foot of me. When I safely put the tray on the table, I give a sigh of relief. I sit down and my personal space is immeadiately invaded by Naruto, who has swung his arm around my shoulders.
"Wow Sakura, did you get food for all of us?" He said, reaching for my french fries. I slap his hand away.
"If by all of us you mean the kid and me, then yes, I did."
"Whaaaaat? Come on Sakura, you can't eat that much! I can bet on it."
How dare he challenge the appetite of a raging pregnant women! "Twenty bucks then. Wait, better yet, you pay for the food at my baby shower." I start to scarf down the chili I bought, feeling like this will be the easiest bet I've ever won.
"What?" Naruto gives me a confused face. I roll my eyes. I stop eating to explain to the man's puny excuse for a brain. "That's the bet dimwit. If I can finish all this, you're paying for a baby shower buddy. And I pick the food"
"Fine, but if I win, you're buying me lunch for the rest of the week"
"Che. Like you'll win. I'm eating for two and I didn't have breakfast. Besides, this is nothin'. You shoulda seen how much I ate yesterday" I bit my turkey sandwich. "I am gonna have a lot of weight to burn off when this thing comes out"
"Whatever. Just don't puke on me when you've eaten too much."
I popped a fry into my mouth. "We'll see about that, bucko. Let the games begin"
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
"Sasuke-kun, I'm afraid that we're going to have a cute baby."
"What?"
I looked at him, totally serious, but he had that, woman-you-are-crazy look on his face. Really, this is important.
"Sasuke-kun, everyone knows that we can't have a cute baby! If the thing comes out attractive, he'll have to go through the trauma of being mauled by undeserving fangirls! Can you say scarred for life?"
"I don't think you should be one to talk about fangirls, Sakura. I distinctly remember you being one of mine."
I roll my eyes. "Yes, but this is different Sasuke. Unlike those other girls, I knew I would be your wife! Not only that, I'm having your baby! I'm living every girls dream right here!"
.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.:.
"Sakura, if you squeeze my hand any harder, it's gonna break."
"That's not the only thing of yours that's gonna be broken after this!" I was thrusting a human being through my pelvis and he was complaining about his hand being squeezed too hard? What a looser! Isn't this just great? I'm gonna marry a looser. I'm having the kid of a looser.
Someone up there hates me.
"Argggghhh!" I scream. This baby is gonna be the death of me! I swear I am never getting pregnant again. This pain just too bad. I can hear Sasuke telling me to breathe, but I really just want to stop. Just break down and rest. I can't deal with this.
I'm just a little kid in an adult's body.
All to late, I realize I can't deal with a baby. And Sasuke thinks he can, but I'm sure he can't. He's just trying to act tough. It's what he always does. I give it one last go and just as I'm fading out, I hear a high pitched scream and Sasuke sighing besides me. The nightmare is now half over. I'm just glad it's out. I am no longer pregnant.
But now I'm a mother. And I'm only eighteen.
I want to be hopeful. I want to love my child. I think about all of this as Sasuke and I watch the doctors clean up the baby. I want to go to college. I want to be with Sasuke.
"Sasuke," I say, feeling like I'm in a trance as I watch everyone fuss over the little bundle that is mine. He looks at me and I see he is just like me. In a dream.
"I'm scared." I really am. How are we gonna keep this kid alive? How are we supposed to know what to do? Can we really juggle a baby and school? How will we feel about each other after we get married? Our eyes lock and I realize Sasuke is thinking the same things.
"Me too"
I suppose I should feel bad about Sasuke's words, but I'm nothing if not encouraged. Because right now, we're on the same page. And right now that's all I can wish for.