Ranma ½: A New Ending
Disclaimer: Ranma ½ is owned by Rumiko Takahashi. Ranma ½ is a fan-fiction/parody and nothing more, so please support the official release. Since I don't feel like typing this 100 times, the phrase "Holy Freaking Douche Babies" will represent it in future chapters
Summary: I love Ranma 1/2. I really do. That said, I dislike the ending. It was too open-ended for my tastes. Too much was left to the imagination and too little was actually satisfyingly concluded. So, I thought I'd write a Ranma story arc to follow the last one, which will hopefully have an ending I can enjoy and one others can enjoy too. If you saw this story before, you'll know that this summary was changed from how it was before. Before, I was really being an asshole about what I was doing. My intentions probably came off as douche-bag-ish to people. I really can't excuse it. All I can say is that I was a different person back then, but I recently changed for the better, and that I hope that you, the Ranma characters, and Rumiko Takahashi can accept my most heartfelt apologies.Chapter 1: "I'm Done…"
It was calm… It was calm to the point that one could even say peaceful… And this scared the people of Nerima to death. You'd be scared too, if it was so dang peaceful in a place where giant tornados of death coming out of nowhere, massive, destructive chi explosions destroying property value, and animals and women standing where man once did a few seconds after a slight drizzle was the norm. People had gotten used to disasters and mayhem controlling their existences in what seemed to be the focal point for all insanity in Japan.
And therein laid the problem. It was calm, peaceful, tranquil. No monsters were destroying the city, no perverted lechers were running around stealing women's unmentionables, and no one was trying to kill someone, cast a spell on someone, force someone into marriage, or any combination of the three.
And yet for the Tendo and Saotome families, this was not the least bit surprising. The reason was that yesterday, our hero Ranma Saotome was supposed to finally marry Akane Tendo, his 3-year betrothed, and since the majority of the nut-jobs in Nerima loved one, hated one, or both, the fact that the wedding did not go so well is a given.
Now, when Ranma Saotome is involved, you can often count on the impossible, the improbable, and the down-right illogical to happen. After all, a martial artist cursed by the pools of Jusenkyo to turn into a girl when splashed with cold water and a boy when splashed with hot, who had 3 constantly bickering fiancées, a crazy stalker for each gender, and more enemies than an entire football stadium of people could count on their hands and toes, can obviously stir up trouble. But he can often handle himself against them. He can usually defuse the situation and the unstable maniacs involved before any real damage ensued.
I guess he just wasn't used to all of them showing up at once.
His two other martial-artist fiancées Ukyo and Shampoo, the perverted master Happosai, the near-sighted blunder Mousse, the ever-lost rival Ryoga, "The Black Rose" Kodachi (aka just about the most insane woman on the face of the Earth), and Tatewaki Kuno, "The Blue Thunder" and about the densest, dumbest jackass on the face of the Earth all came with the intention of ruining this wedding for some reason or another
The floor board creaked as Ranma sat up from his futon. He noticed his dad was already gone and stretched his joints, which ached in furious pain, reminding him of the fiasco of yesterday. The poor boy gave a sigh of defeat. For the past 3 years, he'd been beating these people senseless, often to defend Akane, and he'd never let it get to him. He'd always held the same air of confidence, the same air of power. He had stood tall and proud against the indomitable odds life threw at him, which he always seemed to dominate. Hell, his last battle had pitted him against an immortal: The Phoenix King Saffron, and he'd still won and saved Akane's life.
But something about the wedding was different. Ranma contemplated as to why it was different as he slowly limped his way to the shower he so desperately needed. It's not like he hadn't lost battles before. He lost battles all the time. But Ranma had always rebounded immediately. He had always gotten back on his feet, mastered a powerful, new technique in record time, and whooped whoever it was what whooped him (A/N: I've been reading a new book called "All Over but the Shoutin'" and the author, like me, has a Southern way of speaking, which he used in his book for a truly powerful effect, so I thought I'd see if putting some of the Southern phrases I use from time to time in my writing to see if it adds the same effect. I highly recommend the book.) However, Ranma was learning no new secret technique. He was not getting back on his feet. For the first time in Ranma's life, he was admitting defeat.
Maybe it was just how long it had been going on. Ranma loved kicking ass as much as the next guy, but 3 years of having to deal with the same people with the same motives and the same threats was tiring. It seemed to never end. Or maybe it was because he'd really thought this would be the end. After all, most of these people attacked Ranma out of being in love with Ranma, Akane, and/or someone in love with Ranma and/or Akane.
As Ranma sunk into the tub (He'd since decided a bath would be easier on his nerves) he could feel the heat loosen his muscles and soothe his aching pains. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, sinking into the soapy water. As he blew bubbles of relief, he turned and heard "Akane! Nabiki! Father! Ranma! Mr. Saotome! Breakfast is ready." shouted by the eldest Tendo daughter: Kasumi. He didn't care. He needed this bath, and he knew Akane would probably understand and save him some breakfast.
'Akane… maybe that's why…' Ranma thought to himself. Perhaps it wasn't the disaster of the wedding bothering him, it was the wedding not taking place. Ever since learning that their fathers had agreed Ranma and Akane would marry each other, without their consent, without even meeting each other, the two had been like cats and dogs Ranma was the dog of course. Ever since his father threw Ranma into a cellar full of cats, while he was covered in cat-nip, at a young age (to learn some martial arts technique or another) Ranma had been scared of cats, but I digress. The two had been fighting constantly, and after the Saffron battle, Ranma was finally able to admit to Akane, and to himself, that he loved her. Not only that, but she reciprocated his feelings, at least as far as Ranma could tell, women being mysterious creatures and all that.
Ranma had known that a long, awkward conversation follows that kind of confession, and men just do not like to talk about their feelings. The wedding offered a way around the long, awkward conversation straight to a happy life with his loving wife, but more than that, offered a way to finally be with Akane. That was beyond disappointing. Words don't describe that kind of feeling.
And then it hit him. The wedding hadn't been ruined because all of those people showed up. It had been ruined becuase he had fought all of those people at the wedding. In fact, all of his problems, from his aqua-transgenderal state, to his many fiancees, to his many rivals, all stemmed from his inability to go 5 minutes without hitting someone. If Ranma didn't fight so much, he wouldn't have beaten up Kuno, he wouldn't have gotten Shampoo's kiss of death, he wouldn't have been fighting Ukyo long enough for her to realize he and Akane fought so much, he wouldn't have made an enemy of Ryoga or Mousse, and he wouldn't have fallen into a cursed spring.
Buddha did say that the path to enlightenment was non-violence...
So with a weary resignation, Ranma drew his head back and gave a long sigh. He was tired. He was broken. He was done. He would no longer fight. He would give up, simple as that. He'd already taken much more than any person should and he refused to take it anymore. Rather than meet the many boulders life threw at him constantly head-on, he would merely sit and allow them to flow beyond him. He would still train, to stay in shape, but he'd do a few less sit-ups and watch a few more movies; throw a few less kicks and spend a few more minutes with Akane. And most of all, he was done fighting monsters, done beating bad guys, and done being the hero. Someone else could deal with them all. Ranma was just going to sit back and relax. He would be a regular pacifist. You could pass him off as a monk.
Yes, it all seemed like the perfect plan to Ranma, but Ranma didn't realize a few things. Being a hero's a funny thing, especially being the hero in a comedy/action manga. You can fight it all you want, but it's in your blood. It's who you are. And if you try to escape that destiny, then you're starin' down the barrel of a big ol' "Whoop-ass '89" gun, with life fingering the trigger, trying to decide who it should fill full o' lead first to get you to realize that you gotta do what you gotta do.
And the bullet in this Whoop-ass '89 was a real doozy.
Well, that's the first chapter. They will get funnier after this; I just wanted to set the story and all. Next time, The King of Demons comes to Tokyo and even the mighty Happosai is brought to his knees. With Ranma complacent, who can stop this might beast? Until next time, take care, and God bless you all.