In Hate With You

by myshadowspirit

I wanted it. I dished it out so hard because I needed it in return. I got down right obsessive. To the point if someone showed just the inkling of desiring me in anyway, I would give. I would give them anything.

Hahaha what am I doing with my life...?

So this goes along with my story "Thief". You probably don't need to read it for this. Just that Naruto and Sakura having gotten pretty close while Sasuke's been gone. It takes place during the events of chapter two, which is currently not up anymore. I plan on putting it back, I just wasn't entirely sure where I wanted to put the chapter break and added some more to it that I might take off anyway. If you are reading Thief and have yet to read chapter two (though I don't know why you'd be here) I would wait to read chapter two before reading this, as I wrote it after.

This story is in Naruto's point of view and so, couldn't be in the other story since that is only in Sakura's point of view. This was going to be even longer. Like an entire story of Naruto's life. Until I realized a lot happens to Naruto, and I didn't want to be redundant with the Naruto and Sakura parts since I'm already writing Sakura. Though, I feel like Naruto would be able to describe Sakura in a very beautiful way, and it would be interesting to explore more of the darker parts of Naruto, but it's whatever. I cant do it all with my flighty attention span. I thought doing Naruto's point of view would be harder than Sakura's since... he's so not like me... you know, bright and happy and good, but it wasn't too hard. Especially, since I always give characters controversial flaws, to make them not good anymore. Don't worry. Naruto's not that bad. He's just a slut in my mind. LOL Why is that so satisfying for me think? I give this... 8 out of ten stars? It's not the best, but I feel like this came out better than Thief... or I'm just a perv.

I suppose I should do a Sasuke point of view story next but I find that so much more daunting than Naruto. Sasuke that son of a bitch... does anyone really understand him? Because I sure as hell still don't. I wanted to slap him so hard at the end of the series. I love him. He's always been and somehow still my favorite character. I don't know why. He's an asshole.

Oh this is pretty much pure smut by the way.

I don't hate Hinata, (she lied.) One day, I won't hate her.

---

I remember feeling like I should feel something more. Shock. Surprise. Excitement. Happiness. I should have felt at least one of those feelings if not all of them. I should have felt those feeling so strongly that it would pierce through my chest, force me to gasp for air, and almost strangle me.

But I didn't.

Maybe I was just too tired.

Or maybe, it was just too familiar, that it wasn't unexpected when I found him sitting on a tree limb, a tree that was just onside the border of the village. You would have been able to see over the great wall that surrounded the buildings there, if Konaha was still there that is. Since the wall was missing, going to the tree limb to look into the village seemed pointless. Though, Sasuke couldn't see at all so I guess it didn't matter.

His eyes were wrapped in fresh bandages, but his face was still pointed in the direction of the open, like he could see through the fabric. I knew he knew I was there. I had rustled the leaves of the branch I landed on. Not entirely on purpose but I wasn't trying to hide, so I didn't care that it gave me away.

Sasuke didn't make any indication that he knew I was there, because to do so would be to acknowledge me, and to acknowledge me was one of Sasuke's least favorite things to do in the whole wide world. It's a pretty dumb thing to hate so much. All he had to do was say hello. It's so easy. But he never did. I don't think I ever heard him use the greeting to anyone, but I took it personally regardless. I only ever wanted the asshole just to say hi to me.

He wasn't even guarding himself. He should have been rather vulnerable without the use of his Sharingan. He must have still been recovering from when he fought with Kakashi-sensei and I a while back, though any open wounds had been healed. He didn't even to appear to have his sword with him. He was only dressed in a pair of black pants, arms crossed over his chest, like I wasn't a threat to him at all.

I wasn't threatening him, but still.

For another two unbearable seconds he was quiet. I couldn't stand it so I took a breath to say something, but Sasuke cut me off, like he was waiting for another opportunity to just be rude because he enjoyed it.

He answered my question before I even asked it.

"I'm here because I wanted to know if it would change how I felt," he stated, without turning his face from the direction of the village.

"And, well?" I asked impatiently.

"It doesn't."

"I don't think you gave it a good chance to change your feelings. You're still not in the village. You're still outside the borders. You can't even see it because you got those bandages over your eyes."

"There wouldn't be much to look at anyway," Sasuke cut in. "So it's true that the Akatsuki destroyed the place. I can hear the emptiness of space as the wind passes through the mountains."

"Yea, but so what? We stuck it out. We're okay. They were just buildings. Everyone's okay. The people are what make the village."

"And that's why I have to destroy them."

I heaved a breath in frustrated anger, fists clenched at the threat. "You're here, aren't you? Why not go ahead and try," I said somewhat weakly as I tried to get myself prepared for a fight. I wasn't really ready for it. My mind was still somewhat cloudy from being asleep, my muscles not yet stretched from laying in bed.

"Obviously, now is not the time," Sasuke answered. Right. Because he couldn't. Not with eyes bandaged. Sasuke was powerless.

I decided to take the chance to jump to the branch he was sitting on, confident Sasuke couldn't hurt me. His shoulders tensed in annoyance as the branch was jostled from my landing, but he did nothing else to complain about it. "So there's time for me to change your mind about the whole destroying the village thing!" I said brightly.

"Go back to bed, Naruto," Sasuke said darkly. "You can sleep soundly. I'm not going to do anything tonight." There was something about the way my name sounded out of Sasuke's mouth. The bastard had so much contempt in it. It made me feel really important actually. I was really special.

"If I could sleep I would be," I said. "I don't actually normally walk around in the woods after dark."

Sasuke grunted.

"And like, the village is different now, you know? I feel kinda weird being in it."

Sasuke didn't say anything. After a moment I continued.

"I'll get over it eventually. It's silly right?" I laughed.

Sasuke was again, silent. But he didn't move from his spot against the tree. I was waiting for him to vanish, to leap away. That was normally what Sasuke did. He was always faster than I was at tree leaping, or running, or throwing a kick or punch. But he didn't. He hadn't. He hadn't done any of that stuff.

"What about you? Why don't you go to bed?"

"Madara has Zetsu guarding the room he put me in, and I don't like the idea of being kept somewhere against my will."

"So you're out here just to be a spiteful asshole as usual." Sasuke did not react to the jab. I missed the times when he would, back when we were young and he liked to pretend and fool people into thinking he was perfect. Now he wasn't pretending anymore. "You know, what would really piss them off is, if you came home with me," I grinned. That was a pretty sad, desperate line, but I never been one to stop sentences from coming out of my mouth.

"So I could sleep on your dirty, crumb infested couch that's in your even dirtier apartment?"

"Well actually, the apartment's been destroyed, so it's just a mat... in a makeshift structure that Captain Yamato made. It's only got the one room..."

"Pass."

I sniffled and wiped my nose with the back of my hand in the cold air, trying to hide the disappointment that shouldn't even have had hope from the beginning. "Suit yourself. At least it's a shelter."

"I'm fine out here."

"You shouldn't sleep in trees though. You could fall from them."

"I'm not going to fall asleep, Dobe," he snapped.

"Okay then," I said submissively. I threw him a quick glance as I gave a short shiver. I briefly wished I had stayed in my warm bed, but I would have never passed a chance to talk with Sasuke. We could go stand in the snow if he wanted to. "Aren't you cold?"

"No." I wanted to put my hands on his chest to see if he was lying. Instead I just leaned closer to him, in a vain attempt to steal body heat that had already disappeared in the spaces between us. I know Sasuke couldn't actually, but I thought he was mentally rolling his eyes at me.

"So," I said, settling down and giving up on finding any warmth from Sasuke. Really what was I thinking? Sasuke was always as cold as ice. "What are you going to do after, if you succeed in destroying Konaha?"

"You yourself said that the both of us won't survive after we fight."

I turned my head to stare hard at him. "So that's it? You just have one final thing left in your life? Destroy the village, and die? You know, I'm not going to let you do that. There's no way you're going to succeed before I intervene, and then we'll both be dead for nothing."

"What does it matter, anyway?" Sasuke sighed, head resting against the bark of the tree. "I have to. Even if you somehow stop me, which I don't think you can, I have to at least try. I need to do something for... for him."

"Killing other people won't bring Itachi back to life," I said harshly. "Killing anyone won't bring anyone back to life." I clutch at the tree branch we were on. "And they're just people Sasuke, they didn't... There's innocent people in the village! I mean, I don't know the whole thing, honestly. I don't know why your clan was killed. I really don't, but... I mean, for fuck's sake-"

"They need to know what it's like," Sasuke interrupted. "They need to know what it's like when everyone they love is murdered in front of them, what it's like to lose everything." Sasuke's body did a harsh tremor. I stared at him, somewhat fearful that he would just go off like a bomb.

"You gonna kill the women and children, too, Sasuke?"

"The women and children of the Uchiha weren't spared."

"What about your friends? What about Sakura-chan?!"

"I thought I already made my intentions quite clear at the Kage submit," his voice uttered chillingly and cold.

I took in several distressed breaths. "I mean... Sasuke! Were you really gonna though? If I hadn't stopped you, would your hand have kept going?"

"Yes," Sasuke answered. I wanted to tear the bandages off his eyes, look into his eyeballs and see if the bastard was really lying to me or not.

"But she didn't kill the Uchiha!" I almost thought Sasuke flinched. "She has nothing to do with it! The only thing she's ever done is... love you. Fuck." I looked away feeling the familiar bitterness I always carried with me.

"She was in the way. She was trying to trick me so she could assassinate me, as useless of an attempt as it was. It was evident as soon as I saw her. My actions were justified to me. It's obvious you care about her. I don't care if you don't understand."

"I don't understand why you don't understand. Both Sakura-chan and I care about you so much. You're making us... have to fight you. Do you realize how hard that is for the both of us? Do you care... at all?"

Sasuke was still and quiet, but it was enough of an answer.

"You do. You tried to sever the bond, but you couldn't completely. You haven't killed us off yet."

"That's only because I haven't gotten the chance."

"You're a lying liar who lies." Sasuke turned his unseeing eyes at me. "I don't think... you would have done it. Killed Sakura-chan," I clarified. "You're quick, Teme, but you move just a little too slow in any death blow directly towards us."

"Tch, you've always seen what you wanted to see."

"Kill me now, then."

"You know I can't physically do that. I'm not stupid."

"Then when? How much time do we have?"

"Why would I tell you that?"

I paused. "You wouldn't want to know how much time you had until... when it's, you know, over?"

Sasuke huffed. "What's the point?"

"Wouldn't you want to do certain things before you died? Say goodbye to people? You know, bucket list stuff."

"There is nothing and no one I'm obligated to. I already said goodbye to the two of you."

I sniffled again, my nose running like a god damn marathoner. My hands were freezing. I stuck them in my armpits. "Whatever. Like those times were really goodbye." I shivered. "Me? I'd want to say certain things to certain people, but I feel like I'm not ready to yet. I haven't done all the things I wanted to do, you know? I'm not Hokage yet. Haven't brought your ass home yet. How can I ever profess things to anyone?"

"Maybe you should just do it while you have a chance, and not make up excuses of impossible dreams."

I made a face at him.

"What are you waiting for? Sakura's approval? What would it matter after you're dead? Just go on a head and tell her you love her," Sasuke sighed.

I felt the air freeze inside of my chest. It felt wrong to talk about my feelings for Sakura to Sasuke. Sakura was in love with Sasuke, and I... "I can't," I finally got out.

The breath that left Sasuke then felt like one of disappointment. "That's too bad. She would have liked that I think, someone telling her that they loved her..."

"What are you talking about, Teme? Sakura gets love confessions all the time. Hearing it from me isn't going to make her happier." Sasuke's shoulders tensed.

"She does?" he asked suddenly interested. That bastard.

"Oh yea, but she doesn't have any interest in them. I mean, Rock Lee has been chasing after her for years and she still won't budge."

"And you?"

"Well you know me! I've never been one to give up."

Sasuke couldn't stare, but I felt him look through me. "How far have you been able to get to, Dobe? She ever give in and give you that date you've always wanted?"

"Not really."

"Have you kissed her yet?"

I felt my stomach drop as guilt washed over me. Did I think it was wrong when I was with Sakura? No, I did not. I was just so happy that I was with her. I knew it didn't mean anything. Sakura wasn't in love with me like she was with Sasuke. I knew I was hurting myself. It just didn't sink in that I could be hurting anyone else with my torture until that very moment. I had already made up my mind, that when I brought back Sasuke, if Sakura-chan chose him, I'd back off. I'd let them be together. But until that day, I was going to try my hardest in winning her over. I felt like there might be a sliver of a chance, even though I knew it was quite impossible deep down. The only reason I tried so hard was because there was more of a chance of having her, than having Sasuke the way... No, don't think about it. You promised yourself you wouldn't think like that when you were around him.

Sasuke was still waiting for my answer. My heart started to fire up. No, Sasuke couldn't be jealous. Jealous over what? He never seemed to be interested in any of us. Of course he wasn't interested in me. It was Sakura. He was ... with Sakura... "I'm sorry," I blurted out.

"For what?" For a moment I was totally engrossed with the shape of his mouth as it formed the question. Then I ripped my gaze away, afraid that he would be able to tell that I was staring. I had always been staring. I didn't know what difference this time made.

"I was... with Sakura..."

"I don't care. I figured as much by now anyway. Why are you even telling me?" Sasuke made me forget that I was telling him because he asked. He was really good at doing things like that. "I don't care about the dumb feelings you have for a girl."

"But Sakura-chan-" I had to start my sentence again. "Sakura still has feelings for you-"

"I told you that I don't care about that!" he snapped.

We were both quiet for some time. I went back to trying to conceal my shivering. I was afraid Sasuke would leave if I said anything more to anger him. I didn't want him to leave.

"She deserves you," he finally said after I thought we were done speaking for the rest of forever.

I blinked at him in surprise.

"She deserves someone who loves her. I'm glad... you were with Sakura like that."

"I'm sorry!" I repeated dumbly.

"Stop apologizing!"

This wasn't okay. I felt tears prick in the corners of my eyes. Why were things like this? How come everything was always so complicated? "You say that because you care! You care about her, Sasuke! If you care... then how can... how can you hurt Sakura!?"

"I won't have to," Sasuke murmured. "You'll be there to stop me." And I wanted to hit him, for being so dumb and stuborn.

"And what if I don't make it in time?"

"I'm sure you'll succeed in taking your revenge." I wanted to grab the collar of his shirt, bring him in close to have him look me in the eyes, but his eyes were wrapped, and he wasn't wearing a shirt. What happened was that my hand landed on his bare shoulder, gripping him. He didn't fight me, his head only falling back slightly as if he was gazing at me unimpressed, but since he couldn't see me, the movement must have only been out of habit. It torturedly looked like he was bracing himself for a kiss.

I forgot why I was mad for a second. "You should have been Sakura's first kiss! I..." I stared at Sasuke's lips, because that was all I had to read for an expression. It was hard to read Sasuke when I had his eyes. Not even mentioning the fact that those lips were distracting to look at. They were too faultless, almost like a girls's mouth would be, small, delicate, sculpted, perfect for something like Sakura's lip gloss that she would occasionally wear. "We... had sex. Sakura and I. We took each other's virginities. I guess she gave up waiting around for you." There it was, just the slightest tremor, pull of a muscle, moving the flesh of Sasuke's bottom lip. "Does that make you mad?" I started speaking out as a confession, as an apology, but the last thing I said was a dare, the tone of my voice not asking for forgiveness or showing a trace of my earlier sorriness.

"No," one of Sasuke's favorite words I believe.

I bit back my frustration and said something else. "Have you ever? With anyone?"

"No."

"Seriously?" I sat back and away from Sasuke, letting my hand leave his skin like he was too pure for me to be touching all of a sudden. Ha, Sasuke as pure... "You? The heartthrob of the academy? What about kissing and stuff? Have you at least kissed a girl?" Sasuke's frown deepening answered that question. "You're a virgin!" And the first blow Sasuke gave was fired, but it wasn't a punch, it was a slap. I was kind of surprised, but it still hurt. The side of his hand hit me in the eyeball and I almost fell off the branch.

"There was never ever any reason to."

"Well, don't you think that should be one of the things a man does before he dies?"

Sasuke heaved a sigh, turning away from me, arms returning to their comfortable crossed position. "I've been thinking that the Uchiha clan might as well die with me. It's a cursed name."

"I mean, you don't have to reproduce to have sex," I said scratching my head.

Sasuke's head snapped toward me like I had said the dirtiest thing in the world.

"What?! There's more to it than just making babies! I don't want to have any babies right now but I really like having sex!"

"You're disgusting."

"Whoa! Okay! Don't tell me that you've never at least masturbated before!"

"I wouldn't waste my time." Then I almost did fall off the branch. I had to grab onto it.

"You're lying!"

"Why would I lie about it?"

"That can't be healthy! Not even once?"

Sasuke gritted his teeth. "There is no purpose to it and it's disgusting."

"The purpose is to get off! You've never had the need to get off? What are you? Asexual or something?"

"What?"

"Asexual? Like you don't get sexual desires." That might have been the first time ever, in history, that Naruto Uzumaki had to explain anything to Sasuke Uchiha.

"I don't know!" he said flustered. I watched him in amazement before he said, "I'm not. I'm not asexual." Like it was a sort of insult.

"It's okay if you are," I said more gently now, still trying to get over the fact that Sasuke didn't masturbate. I mean, honestly, is was kind of hard picturing him doing the act, but it would have been a major turn on. Maybe he was lying. I hoped he was lying.

"I'm not."

"If you're not asexual, you have to have had like... you know, urges, attractions, feelings, for other people. Unless you're sick and have attraction to animals and inanimate objects." I could see about ever muscle on Sasuke's upper half tighten with furry, but he didn't hit me again. "What is it then? Sheep? Pigs? Scissors?"

"What do you get out of by saying lewd things like that?"

"Hopefully a reaction and an answer? I'm curious now!"

"I'm not telling you anything."

"Oh come on! Who am I going to tell?"

Sasuke lifted an elegant eyebrow. I could see it just over the bandages and underneath his bangs.

"I won't tell anyone," I promised. "And besides, it's just me. You're gonna kill me anyway so your secret's safe. Who cares if I know?"

"I'm attracted to women." Oh, blow to my balls. I should have expected as much. It was okay. Didn't really change anything though. I was really bad at accepting rejection. "But not all women," Sasuke continued, like he was thinking it over. "Most women are loud, annoying and abrasive. And stupid..."

"Okay, what girl do you think isn't?"

"Sakura."

"WHAT!?"

"Why are you acting so surprised!? She's pretty and female! It should be normal to find her attractive. I'm assuming you do or you wouldn't have had sex with her!"

"I just... you just always acted like..."

"Don't tell her," Sasuke warned in a low voice. "I didn't say I was in love with her. I simply said she was pretty. Don't tell her that or it'll make things harder."

Harder, huh? Harder for what? To kill her? Or for her after Sasuke threw his dumb ass life away fighting me. "How much do you like her?"

"What do you mean?"

"How much do you like Sakura-chan? Are you mad that I fucked her?"

"I don't like how you said that."

I scoffed.

"But no."

What a lying bastard! "You know, I'm not sure when you started lying to me, Sasuke. You use to always say the truth no matter how rude and hurtful it was."

"Believe what you want then."

"Whatever, I mean..." I was finding this conversation more and more unbearable. Every conversation with Sasuke sorta liked to rip out my heart, but this one was one of the worst. I couldn't really decide what I hated more, that I was suddenly finding Sasuke even more of a threat of taking Sakura away from me, or discovering how incredibly straight he was. "It's okay if you feel jealousy. It doesn't mean you're in love with her. It could just be a territory thing." Sasuke didn't answer. Maybe that was for the better.

I don't know how long I stayed silent for. It's not usually for very long. "Would you want to kiss her before you died?" I blurted out. I sounded generous, but in realty I was the most selfish being in the world.

"That would be impossible! It would be a terrible idea. You know very well that I can't do that," Sasuke fumed.

"Well, maybe kissing the real Sakura might be upsetting... with you know... your whole plans on destroying everything she loves and then letting yourself die... but ... I'm really good at the Transformation Technique." That's right, Naruto, dig that hole. Dig it nice and deep so no one can ever find your dead body again when Sasuke throws it in. Sasuke went still and did not say anything. My dumb ass decided to continue. "I can make it feel real. Hell, I can make it smell and taste real."

"No."

Damn! "Why not? No one will know. It won't hurt anyone."

"Is this how you got Sakura to have sex with you?"

I was kind of offended. "No! I mean, actually I did offer but she said she'd feel less guilty if I stayed myself."

"Sounds right. Because what you're offering is sick."

"Jeeze. It would just be a kiss."

"I don't understand why you're even suggesting this. There's nothing in it for you."

Oh fuck, oh fuck, oh fuck. "Ha, practice? Besides I'm curious to see how much you suck. It wouldn't mean anything. We were already our first kisses."

"That time doesn't count as a first kiss," Sasuke said before going back to his original question. "You don't think me kissing an artificial Sakura is going to make me change my mind about destroying the village, do you?"

"It could!" I brightened. Yea, that was totally it!

"It won't," Sasuke replied stubbornly.

"I dare you then." I watched Sasuke's jaw set as he was contemplating on accepting the challenge like the old Sasuke would have.

"You're dumb," was Sasuke's brilliant come back. That was unusual. He was normally much better at putting me down. He was going to give in! I decided to give him another push, and transformed myself into Sakura that very moment.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun!" I cooed in her voice like she used to do. Sasuke couldn't see me, so I had to put more effort on his other senses. He hadn't really talked to Sakura in a while. I tried to remember how he would have remembered her.

"This is ridiculous. Stop it."

No that was too strong. I should just act like the normal Sakura. The normal Sakura was pretty adorable. "Hello... Sasuke-kun. It's been a while, hasn't it?" I laughed nervously, her laugh.

"Stop it." Sasuke repeated. "It's weird."

"Sasuke-kun," I said, ignoring him. "I would ..." I let out that shy nervous giggle again. "really like a kiss from you, but if you don't want to, then that's perfectly fine too!" I brought up my hands even though Sasuke couldn't see the gesture, just to help me get into character.

Sasuke decided that ignoring me was his best bet.

I guess I had to be more persistent.

I crawled up to him. He must not have sensed my presence which was odd for him, but he was trying really hard to ignore me.

"Sasuke-kun," I said again. He jumped at the sound of my voice, or, Sakura's voice, the back of his head hitting the tree bark. I laid a small, green finger nailed hand on his cheek to settle him and it caused him to go as still as a stature. I made sure he could feel the short nails. I made sure he could smell my breath, which was sweet and distinctly like Sakura's. "Please?" I whispered.

He didn't move, so I laid my lips gently and chastely on his. I didn't try to make it too intimate. Sakura wouldn't do that. She had gotten mad at me for using tongue too early during our own kiss. Sakura had been awfully shy about her kisses. She continued to be somewhat shy, unless she was really in the moment. When she was angry or drunk, she'd mash her face into mine in the most adorable way ever. But Sakura wouldn't do that now.

Sasuke was completely unresponsive, but I guess I wasn't expecting too much. I was thinking about kissing him again. Maybe he would do something back.

What he did do as soon as we parted was grab me by the throat. In the nick of time I remembered to make my gasp sound feminine. Great. Now Sasuke was going to punch me in the face.

"You are not Sakura." He stated the obvious, but I took it as a compliment in that I must have done a pretty good job at being her. Maybe not so much in the acting part, but on the physical transformation. I had had a lot of practice after all. I stayed in her form, thinking Sasuke would be less likely to kill Sakura than Naruto. Though, that notion had never really been proven. He tightened his hold on my throat. "Change back," he growled.

I gasped for air, clutching at his writs. I probably should just turn back. That was enough teasing the asshole for tonight. But for some reason I didn't. Probably because I was a sick fuck. I felt myself get turned on by his grip and by the way his breath hit my face when he spoke. I even lifted my head higher, exposing more of my throat for him to bruise.

"Naruto, change back!" he demanded. I just continued to try to gasp. His hand tightened and I stopped breathing, pins and needles running down my limbs from the lack of circulation. I didn't fight back or even move, and I think that made Sasuke madder. "I hadn't planned on killing you tonight, but if you're going to be a fool and just allow it, don't think being in that form is going to stop me."

He raised his arm higher, lifting me more up. I wasn't sure what he actually planned on doing though. His eyes were shot. He couldn't weave signs with one hand grasping my throat. He had no weapon that I could tell with my darkening vision. I saw his free hand twitch, like he meant to punch me, but it was going to take quite a lot of punches in order to pummel me to death. I didn't think Sasuke was patient enough to find out on how many.

Logic finally returned to Sasuke after his spit of anger, when he realized that he was holding me so tightly that perhaps, I couldn't change back. My arms did feel like they were made out of led. He released me, and I fell forward. I limply hugged the tree limb, my face pressed against the bark as my sore throat gasped for air. The position put my face rather close to Sasuke's crotch, though I hadn't intended to do so. I was too busy breathing and experiencing the after effects of pain that my body before was too numb to feel.

Sasuke turned his face away, like he could ignore the sounds of me gagging. Gagging that, annoyingly for him, I was still making sound like a woman's. Finally, when I had enough air in my lungs, I gasped out, "Sasuke-kun!"

"Stop it," he demanded.

Brutally I continued, tears falling from my green eyes as I sobbed out, "But Sasuke-kun, why?!"

Sasuke covered his ears. "Stop it, Naruto!"

I pushed myself up, and threw myself in his direction, hands landing on his forearms to tear them away from his ears. He fought with me. I didn't have Sakura-chan's strength, even if I was in her form. Sasuke should have known that. I honestly wasn't really sure who would win between the two of us in arm wrestling, but I knew Sasuke was stronger than he was acting. And if he wasn't, Sasuke had always been better than me at Taijutsu. He should have been able to have done something to escape me. I was able to remove his arms with only minor effort, our bodies bumping into each other in his struggle, our cheeks grazing the other. Then I was kissing him again. I kissed him like Sakura-chan had kissed me that one time, coming to where I was staying after the attack by Pein, pounding on my door and wordlessly throwing herself on me. It was all mouth and teeth, without any sort of thought or planning. It was probably the closest thing I'd ever feel to her loving me.

What was I doing?

Originally, I wanted to see for myself if Sasuke would hurt me as Sakura. Whether I was Sakura or not, I wanted to know if he was far gone enough to really kill us. I knew deep down he wasn't. Everything I did was confirming my answer. I knew him pretty well. I didn't have to keep testing him.

I wasn't testing him anymore though... I was just... kissing him. Sloppily too. And Sasuke was not enjoying that. He was trying to shove me off of him. I was fighting back, so my lips would leave his momentarily, and then slam back painfully. I tried to grab onto his head to make the contact stay. I succeeded with one hand, green nails digging into his scalp and he made a grunting noise, pausing slightly.

I was no longer trying to kiss him like Sakura. I was kissing him like Naruto. My tongue, which was still Sakura's tongue, ran over his perfect bottom lip which I knew I had bruised with my teeth earlier. His lips slackened. I dipped my tongue behind his lip to meet imposing teeth. Frustrated, I grabbed his jaw, forgetting I had longer nails now as they dug into his cheeks and I pulled open his mouth. Sasuke could bite off my tongue, but I was taking the chance as I quickly flicked it through, grazed his own tongue, retreated for my own safety, and repeated, pushing him against the tree trunk.

I hadn't realized where Sasuke's hands were until he squeezed. One on my thin shoulder that wasn't mine, the other high on my ribs, just grazing a breast that was equally not mine as well. His elbows were trying to lock. He was just simply trying to push me away, but now he was squeezing, holding onto me. I leaned into his hands, trying to get him to allow me to be closer. My hands rested on his shoulders now, now that he didn't really seem to be fighting me anymore. He was just sort of paralyzed I think.

I removed my mouth to try to get a better position against his. He gasped in a gulp of air when we parted, and I felt my nonexistent boner pull on my brain. Shit, Naruto, don't forget you're Sakura now.

I slowed in my movements so I could concentrate on keeping up the transformation. In that little bit of time, Sasuke did something I was not expecting at all.

He leaned forward to kiss me back. The moan I did was not very feminine, but luckily enough, I don't think Sasuke noticed.

I stayed still for another moment just to make sure. Yes, Sasuke's mouth was moving, his lips pushing up against mine. I felt the hand that was on my shoulder move back, fingertips grazing the end of pink hair. His hand was heavy and warm. His other hand, cautiously pressed to the underside of the breast, feeling the difference between hard, solid ribs turned into soft flesh. I knew, he was touching me as if I was Sakura. I knew he wasn't kissing me. He was kissing Sakura. It didn't matter though. My heart was racing.

I felt jealousy. I wasn't really sure of what, or of who. Who was a jealous more of, Sakura or Sasuke? I always had that feeling and I was never able to figure it out. The only solution I ever had before was to simply jack off. So jealousy turned into lust, and with lust I pushed myself closer against Sasuke.

Sasuke dug his hand into my hair and bent my head back. I wasn't used to being the submissive one. Even with Sakura's dominating character, I had size over her, and she would often just let me take control. Sasuke being so much bigger than me all of a sudden was strange, but yet still easy to submit to. Somehow. Never in my life did I think I would submit anything to Sasuke. Never in my life did I think the bastard would kiss me and do what I wanted for once.

I felt Sasuke copy my movements from earlier as he kissed me. It mildly annoyed me. Even without the Sharingan he was copying, and perfecting his technique. He was so less sloppy than I had been, and his movements all of a sudden had confidence and purpose when before he was acting like a scared nervous twelve year old. I hated this guy.

I hated when he pulled away from my mouth, giving me a chaste kiss to the corner of my lips, hand pulling my head back into submission. I hated every kiss the bastard laid on my throat, because my body shivered nervously from it, and I expected him to sink his teeth into the flesh. When he did not, I only felt frustration. I wanted him to sink into me, to hurt me, to make the tingles and the butterflies stop, or intensify or something! I didn't even know. My nails scraped against his skin impatiently. I wanted to close the distance of our hips, rub against his, see if his dick was all that, or better than mine.

Oh, but right. I didn't have a dick right now.

I don't know if it was me just being dumb as usual, or if Sasuke did it intentionally, but we were suddenly falling. The sensation was slow to render in my confused lust filled brain. When it did, my heart skipped a beat, impact coming a second later than I expected it.

Then the breath was knocked out of me. I heard the sickening snap of a bone being broken even before pain registered, and when it did, it was a slow burn at the base of my skull before the rest of my body followed.

Sasuke of course landed on top of me, shielding him from most of the impact. He didn't even need time to catch his breath before he was reeling back his fist for a punch to my jaw.

Sasuke's punch was like a signature. He always hit me in the same spot first, at the corner of my right jaw with his left fist, so that the pain spread down below my jaw and up to my cheek simultaneously. He did it so consistently, that the force, and bruise that would form from it, were exactly the same as the last time he hit me there. Sasuke didn't have the Bakugon, and I'm sure it wasn't as precise as Neji, but if anything about it was off, someone like me couldn't have been able to tell. It was so familiar, and so Sasuke, that I welcomed it. It was so nostalgic that I wanted to cry. It was more satisfying than the kissing. Even the amount of pain stayed the same as before and was so expected that it didn't even hurt. Well, it did, like a bitch, but without the element of the surprise it was almost a good kind of pain, euphoria, like being high on drugs.

His second punch would hurt twice as much. I knew. Usually Sasuke would have to counter about two moves from me. I normally, dumbly, resorted to the same two moves that I always would perform and be unable to block the second punch, even though I knew it was coming, like I couldn't make my own body break the habit.

Though this time I hadn't moved to try to counter or even defend myself. My movements were too slow and in the next half second, Sasuke had moved without me, going for that devastating second punch. I was briefly aware I wasn't Sakura anymore. I tried to remember when that happened. Probably when I landed on the ground.

Second punch. Stars. Fuck. I knew I wasn't dying though I felt like I was. The Nine Tails kept my cracked skeleton from crumbling into dust. He kept me brain from gaining permeant damage from concussions and contusions. Often he even kept me conscious. I think it was just so I could experience more pain honestly. Me unconscious would have prevented me from diving head first into more drama, but he wouldn't let me miss out on being stupider. And he wouldn't let me die either. Then I'd miss out on more pain.

"What the fuck is wrong with you!?" Sasuke accused.

Third punch. Almost forgot about that one. Had it really been that long? The third punch was the bleeder one. My cheek was already pooling with blood from inside the bruise, swelling up. The third punch popped it open against my teeth. This blow didn't always happen. Usually Sakura-chan or Kakashi-sensei would stop our fighting by that point, but they weren't here, and I had yet to do anything to defend myself.

A fourth punch and my sight darkened. It suddenly occurred to me that Sasuke would keep going. Of course he would keep going. No one was stopping him. He wouldn't be able to kill me. The Nine Tails wouldn't let me die, but if I did go unconscious, the Nine Tails would come out, and that was equally not good.

Come on, Naruto! Get your ass up!

I finally blocked the fifth punch. I thought I heard a breath of relief from Sasuke when he felt my hand rather than my face with his fist.

I knew the shove that sent him off of me only worked because he let it. Sasuke didn't want the Nine Tails to come out either. At least not when there was no question on who would win. I climbed to my feet.

So yea, Sasuke backed off, but in an assholish way where he still gave me another kick to the face as he moved away from me. It pissed me off, because I knew he was only doing it to antagonize me, to keep me fighting, so he could continue to beat me up.

My left forearm might have been broken. I decided to not use it, which was fine since I was right handed anyway. I attacked him back, he was able to block the first two moves, but missed the third and I hit him in his perfect nose. We both were kind of surprised, because we both seemed to forget that Sasuke couldn't see. The only reason why he hadn't been able to counter that move was because I did it a few moments later than I normally would have, my face aching too much to be on my normal level of the game.

Ignoring the huge advantage I had over the bastard, I gloated anyway. "What's the matter Sasuke? Didn't see that one coming?!" He stumbled back a few steps, holding his bleeding nose. And then with a growl, he came at me.

Shit, was the fucker fast. I was reminded on exactly how Sasuke was better at Taijutsu than me. Even blind, Sasuke had me on the defense, and I kept forgetting not to use my left arm. I had been holding off on using any Ninjutsu because I didn't think it fair, but then I decided to fuck it, as Sasuke gave a kick to the back of my head that sent me face first into the dirt.

I rolled on the ground to invade another attack, at the same time summoning the Multi Shadow Clone Technique. I got another hit to the side of Sasuke's face with a shadow clone, but I didn't feel as smug about it, since it kinda felt like cheating. Though Sasuke easily dispatched the five other clones I had sent out. I really probably shouldn't be trying to go easy on him.

Sasuke grabbed the wrist of my broken arm, and pulled. I swore bloody murder as my gut fell into his knee. I felt a snap as the bone in my arm rearranged itself. If I hadn't had the air knocked out of me, I would have thought Sasuke had actually reset the bone, though why would he do that? Not on purpose anyway.

Uppercut. Fuck.

Damn him. I hated the way he moved, so gracefully and precisely. I hated that he knew all my clumsily moves by heart, like the two of us were doing the same dance for years, but Sasuke just did it better. He feinted, and I got another blow to my ribs. I punched, and missed. And after about another three more seconds, I got too frustrated with our sparing.

Not caring about defending myself, I tackled the bastard to the ground. The move startled Sasuke, when it really shouldn't have. It wasn't like I hadn't tried pulling that in the past. Before graduating the academy, are fights tended to lose all their fineness and tuning and go straight to rolling around in the dirt. Sasuke wasn't a fan of such uncivilized violence, but it was probably only because he lost the advantage. After graduating the academy, I was less likely to try any tackling because Sasuke would just use his Fire Ball Jutsu, or see it coming and step away. It was an old cheap trick. I knew that. But I didn't care.

"Get the fuck off me!" Sasuke growled, as we rolled. Sasuke tried to pin me down, but I kept finding the momentum to get back on top. Miraculously I got both his arms pined with my own, but with my one arm injured, I couldn't hold it and he wrapped his legs around my waist to flip me again. "Are you some kind of faggot?" he hissed into my face, despite that he was the one pinning me down now, knees tightly hugging my hips. It reminded me about our earlier situation. I kind of forgot I had made a fool of myself before we started to fight.

"You're a faggot!" I said dumbly and immaturely back, because really, what the fuck was I supposed to say? My heart and breath started to kick up in nerves. I didn't know what I was supposed to be doing anymore.

Sasuke dug his elbow hard into my stomach, and for a horrifying second I thought he was aiming straight for my balls. I think he had seriously been thinking about it. "You have five seconds to start answering my questions, Naruto." He gripped the front of my jacket and pulled me off the ground slightly, my aching head and arms limply falling back. "What were you trying to do up in the tree?"

"Convince you to come home," I said weakly.

"By trying to seduce me!?"

I shrugged. "It was worth a shot. I'm running out of ideas, Sasuke." He dropped me and my body hit the dirt heavily. He put his weight on his hands over my wrists.

"You're fucked up."

I laughed. Because I knew that already.

"I don't understand you! You're so obsessed with me coming home! I'm not your fucking friend, Naruto! I'm your enemy! What is it that you really want from me?! Are you in love with me?!"

As much as I hated to admit it, Sasuke had always been pretty intelligent. When he wasn't being a dumb bitch anyway. He didn't know shit about anything ethnical, but he was pretty good at understand logic and what was right in front of him. That was one of the reasons Sakura-chan liked him, wasn't it? And that he was gorgeous, and so damn cool all the time. It was because he was Sasuke Uchiha. "Sakura likes you better than me," I sputtered out with specks of blood, because for some reason, I just couldn't say 'no' to answer his dumb love question. "She's always liked you better than me, and I know why."

"What are you talking about!? You can't be doing all this for Sakura!"

He was right. I wasn't. "Why not?" I asked instead.

"Because it doesn't make sense!"

"You don't think I'd be willing to do it for her?! Unlike you, I actually care about her! I'd do anything to make her happy and I would do anything to make you come home!"

"Stop it!"

"Oh, what's the matter now, Sasuke!? You think I was doing it for you or something?"

"Shut up! What you did up in the tree earlier wasn't acting. You couldn't act a day in your life!"

I let out a whoosh of air that wasn't quite a laugh. "And what about you? You were totally into it!"

"I was acting!"

"Why would you have to do any acting!?"

"So I could get you off of me!"

"That doesn't make any sense Sasuke! You're the one on top of me! You're gay! You were kissing a boy and liked it!" I was just saying shit now. I wasn't thinking about any of the things that were flying out of my mouth.

"I WASN'T! YOU LOOKED LIKE SAKURA! WHY WERE YOU EVEN KISSING ME AT ALL!?" Us, resorting back to childish behavior like this was actually kind of heart breaking. I wanted to be kids again. I wanted things to be like how they used to be. I mean, I wouldn't have gotten anywhere with Sasuke back then either, but fighting was better than him being gone. I wanted to keep fighting so he wouldn't disappear, so I tried to think of more stupid things to say just to get him mad.

"I don't know, Sasuke. You've never kissed a girl before. That's pretty questionable. Maybe I was kissing you because you're so much like a woman already. I couldn't even tell the difference."

One second I was flat on the ground, the next, my face was smacked into a tree. Sasuke had hauled me up, pinned me there with his body pressed behind me. It took another alarming second to go by before I realized that he had grabbed my balls from in between my legs. He squeezed just hard enough for it to borderline painful, but not quite. It didn't really matter though, I was still about to shit myself. Sakura had always been somewhat dangerous when she was mad, but even her had never gone this far before. I don't know why I had always been so much more afraid of Sakura-chan than I was of Sasuke. Why wasn't I as afraid of Sasuke?

"I am not a woman," Sasuke snarled into my ear. "Don't make me prove that to you."

What? My breath stopped at Sasuke's threat because it sounded so much like a come on. Sasuke had one hip digging into my ass, but he was angled in such a way that I couldn't tell if he was turned on or not. He wouldn't be that obvious. He wouldn't straight up say that he would fuck me, because Sasuke Uchiha didn't do that. Sasuke Uchiha didn't fuck boys. He didn't even fuck girls. He was too good for that. He was above everyone.

Unless of course, someone insulted him. He wasn't so above other people that he would let that go without punishment. And boy, did I love punishment. I was a masochist after all. I tried not to get myself too hopeful, because big shot Sasuke had always been more talk than ever actually carrying out his threats. I wondered if he himself ever noticed that. He had been saying he was gonna kill me for years now and here I still was. "Go ahead and prove it then!"

Sasuke spun me around, as if to look in my face in shock, but it wasn't like he could read my expression with those eyes wrapped up so it was kind of a stupid move. I grinned, bloody and bitterly at him. He didn't think that threat through at all. "Come on, show me your dick then!"

"So you are! You're a faggot. A sick perv."

"Yes, probably," I agreed. "But if you're offering, come on. Let's do this."

And then we made out.

Ha. No. He socked me in the mouth again, and then kneed me in the gut. "Holy hell, how many times are you gonna hit me!?"

"Until I've had enough," Sasuke answered. I didn't know when that would be, but probably not for a long time now. Especially since I couldn't seem to shut up.

"Jeez! Lighten up! You must be so uptight from never touching yourself." His fist slammed into my nose. Seriously, I knew I had a talking problem. I just couldn't control myself. Not now. Not when I had had Sasuke's fucking tongue in my mouth a few moments ago. Not when he was here, beating me to a pulp. Not now, when I had his attention. I was under Sasuke's attention and I didn't know what to do with it after fighting for it for so long. My brain just kept misfiring.

Sasuke continued to cream me into butter. He was starting to get bored with beating my face in so he started hitting different internal organs instead.

"I'm sorry!" I sputtered blood onto Sasuke's perfect white chest. "I just miss you, okay? I'm frustrated and don't know what to do, and I miss you!" Sasuke grabbed my arms like he was trying to restrain me from attacking him, but I wasn't fighting. If anything, maybe I was using them to try to shield myself from his blows.

"Don't touch me!"

"I'm not!" I wasn't. I hadn't been. I wouldn't. I wouldn't touch him, but he was holding my arms so I couldn't prevent the contact.

"You're not!" Sasuke shouted. I thought maybe it was in agreement, because I hadn't realized what he was talking about. "You aren't! Not with me you're not!" He was still trying to shove my arms away from him, even though I was putting no effort into doing anything. "You may be with Sakura, but not with me! You can't be!"

Then it clicked. I knew what he was saying now. That I couldn't be... with him. "Of course not!" I said. "I'm not! Not with you... Just... Just Sakura." I only loved Sakura. She was the girl of my dreams. Not Sasuke. I wasn't in love with Sasuke.

Sasuke began to calm down. He still had my wrists in his hands but he was no longer flinging them about. His breath came in and out harshly. I watched his chest heaved up and down.

"You too, right?" I said gently. "You are... with Sakura, too right?"

Sasuke closed his mouth. I couldn't tell if he was still breathing.

"You said... that you were attracted to her. And I think... I think I believe you, you know? What you said about her makes sense. Sakura-chan is really pretty. It would be normal to think about her... in that type of way. To like, have dreams about her, maybe."

Sasuke shook his head. "It doesn't mean anything." I didn't quite catch the double meaning in his words. I thought we were still talking about Sakura.

I shrugged. "Sure. It doesn't mean anything."

"There's no reason... to even think like that! I'm dead already! There's no point!"

I shook my head back. "But you're not dead, bastard! You're alive! You're alive right now!"

I watched Sasuke's pale form. He looked like a ghost in the dark. I could see the very ends of his hair strands swaying ever so slightly. He was trembling. Sasuke was alone. He had been alone for so long. He had no family. He separated himself from his friends, his village, his comrades.

His grip on me had gone slack, so I pulled myself free. I laid my right hand on his neck where it met his shoulder, and Sasuke jumped. I realized that he probably hadn't felt a hand on him that wasn't trying to kill him in years. Maybe not since he had left the village, or maybe even before then. I didn't know. But it was definitely foreign to him, because it made him shudder, and he looked like he was half thinking of pulling away. Hell, Sasuke wouldn't even let himself touch him. He probably hadn't had any human contact at all. I gave the muscle a squeeze, knowing how wonderful that felt when anyone had done it to me.

"You don't have to die. You don't have to destroy the village! You can come home, and be with her, be with Sakura. You could Sasuke, if you wanted to. There's nothing stopping you!"

Sasuke shoulder my hand away. "You don't know anything! You don't understand anything about me! You go back home to her!" I'm not really sure why that statement made me want to throw my arms around him. Maybe it brought back memories, memories of me feeling just like giving up, and letting Sasuke have the girl, because what chance did I have? How ironic that our roles had reversed so.

Sasuke fought the embrace for a bit, but the most he really did was just throw me against the tree again. I held on, taking in all the comfort I could get from it. Sasuke didn't hug me back, but his weight was heavy against me and it was just as good.

"Why don't you understand," Sasuke continued, like he was trying to ignore that my arms were around him. The fucker had lied. His skin was cold. I suddenly couldn't stop touching him. I kept rubbing the hand of my good arm up and down his back, across his shoulders, up his neck and dipping my fingers in his hair, rubbing my calloused palm over smooth, smooth skin. How was it this soft? Was it the lack of sun from hiding in caves all this time? Sasuke's tensed back was melting away with my caresses, and I felt myself become... happy? Even though everything was just as hopeless as it was before. "You should forget about me. I've already died. Once you kill me, you can be with Sakura. That's what you should be trying to do! Instead of feeding her lies that you can get me back. Instead of feeding yourself such lies."

"I'm not lying. I'll do anything to bring you back." Sasuke pushed himself off of me. My hand moved back over his neck to cup his cheek. I was annoyed that the bandage were there because it prevented me from feeling as much of as his skin as I wanted to. It forced my hand to go lower, to his jaw, my thumb grazing his chin. He still had dried blood under his nose, and it stuck to the slight dip that was above his upper lip. I wanted to brush it off, but wasn't sure how sore the area was. I had a brief thought of licking it off instead.

My heart was beating so fast that I couldn't really think straight. Sasuke was letting me touch him. He wasn't pulling away or hitting me.

"You say 'anything' like you don't have anything to lose."

I didn't comprehend what he said, because when he spoke I was too fascinated with the way his jaw moved under my fingers. My thumb moved up to his lip.

"When did you start becoming a liar, Naruto?"

"Huh?" He removed my fingers from his face when it became more apparent that I hadn't been listening. What had I lied about? Sasuke gripped my hand. I felt a strange feeling all of a sudden, remembering that he had held my hand once before, but I couldn't remember why.

"Everything is for Sakura?"

Oh. That. That lie. "Sakura-chan loves you," was all I could respond. It was automatic. Like someone had reprogramed my brain to use it as autocorrect instead of uttering the truth.

Sakura loves him. Sakura loves him. Sakura loves him. I repeated in my head, because this was wrong. I was in the wrong here. I love her. Sakura doesn't love me. She loves Sasuke. She loves Sasuke. And Sasuke? Who does he love? No one?

"Prove that you'd do anything."

My hand, in his, gravitated to his crotch. I had no explanation why. I'm pretty sure it wasn't Sasuke's doing. I did that. Because my head was always in the gutter. Sasuke pulled away slightly from my touch but didn't take a step back. I wasn't sure what I was expecting. Certainly not Sasuke rocking a hard on. Not really anyway. I had been hoping. I had suspected this whole time. But nothing had been confirmed until that very moment, because... Sasuke indeed had an erection.

Everything between us was starting to make sense. Almost anyway. Not quite. There were still some things I wasn't sure of, but our relationship went from complete misunderstanding to us suddenly being each other's other half. I finally gotten the key and was able to decode all of our interactions. It had all been set up for this. The answer. Everything I had ever thought I might have felt for the son of a bitch, he felt it too.

"I'm a dead man. Tonight never happened," Sasuke said. Even as he said this, my head was foggy. I still hadn't fully comprehended where my hand was, and when I did, I felt my fingers spread out, cupping him and trying to know its size and shape without doing anything more than just pressing. The more that registered, the more nervous I began to feel. Sweat freed itself from my pores. My mouth went dry. Sasuke was not little. I should have known better.

And still, I hadn't heard what he had said to me. Not until his other hand yanked my head back and he gave me a bruising kiss. It tasted like blood. My blood, but I didn't care.

Sasuke figured he didn't have anything more to lose. He must have taken some of my words into consideration. If he was going to throw his life away, maybe he should have that one experience, this experience. He didn't think he could get Sakura. He wanted Sakura. I believed that, because fuck, I wanted her too, but I was the best the bastard was gonna get. It was kind of funny. Sakura couldn't have Sasuke, so she took me. Sasuke couldn't have Sakura so here I was. I was everyone's second choice. But it was good enough for me. It was the best I was ever gonna get.

Of course, now that this was happening, I wasn't sure if I was ready.

Pressed into him, I couldn't touch him very well, so I tried to push him off with my other arm, but that was still broken. The most I did with the useless arm was hook it around Sasuke's neck, while the fingers of my other hand slipped into the rim of his pants.

Sasuke tried to pull away with a hiss, but my hooked arm kept him in place. "I... I want to show you... Show you how you're supposed to do it," I whispered. Sasuke didn't respond, only returning his mouth onto mine, and his hands twitched themselves to the zipper of my jacket. As I felt him tug it open, I almost would have guessed Sasuke was nervous.

He tried to pull away again when my hand finally found skin. "Calm down, what do you think I'm gonna do to you? Rip it off?"

"Shut up."

"Why don't you get me to shut up then?" I grinned. Shouldn't have said that.

Sasuke suddenly forced me to my knees, face directly in front of his crotch.

"For Sakura, right? See if it'll make me change my mind." I briefly wondered if he wanted me to transform into Sakura before inevitably blowing him, but he was being sarcastic. He didn't need me as Sakura. He was ready with just me.

Of course, I wasn't ready. This was Sasuke. This was really Sasuke. Not some dumb fantasy I was having, and I had no real control over the situation. Oh shit, what did I get myself into?

Sasuke put a hand on my head and shoved me back slightly. "Ha, I knew you didn't mean it. Why do you always say such stupid things?"

Oh, I had meant it alight. Gritting my teeth I shoved his hand off my head, and then with the same hand I tugged down his pants, pulling him closer to me. He almost stumbled, but his stomach hit the top of my head and it kept him from falling. I didn't give myself any time to pause and think about what I was doing. A brief thought flew in and out of my brain that the Nine Tails would know. He would judge me for this. He would bate and tease me with this information, but it wasn't like the Nine Tails didn't already know how despicable and desperate I already was.

I put as much of Sasuke as I could in my mouth all at once, my broken arm wrapping around him so he wouldn't try to escape and hurt himself against my teeth.

He made a pretty humorous noise that I guess was close to a yelp, his hands landing on my shoulders as he almost fell forward again. He was trying to curl his body away from me. I put my good hand on his ass and squeezed. It was firm and hard, so much different than Sakura's. It just made me want to squeeze it harder. I could tell that Sasuke didn't know which direction to move his hips in order to get away from me. He was just going to have to keep still then, which Sasuke was normally pretty good at. I was the one that could never keep still.

I shoved my face deeper into his crotch, opening up my throat to try to accept all of him. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be, with all the food I tended to shove down there.

I thought the taste or smell of anyone else's dick would make me gag. I never could blow anyone. It didn't stop me from thinking about other people blowing me, or even experimenting with shadow clones, but you know, guy logic. I swore I would never do this, just like every other boy in my class.

Sasuke didn't really taste like anything. Mostly just skin, and then a subtle tangy aftertaste. His smell wasn't anything I hadn't known already. I knew what my own dick smelled like, and I knew what Sasuke smelled like. I wasn't grossed out. Not really.

I moved slowly, just in case I would gag, but I did not. I could feel Sasuke's pulse in my throat... It was making mine go up as well.

I pulled back, gulping in air while I could, smelling the sent of Sasuke and my own spit. I dove back in, letting my tongue glide underneath the shaft with the stroke. Sasuke moaned like a girl. I tried to do it again, but Sasuke finally got his hand to move, grabbing me by the hair and yanking me away. A strand of spit kept us connected a moment longer. He pulled so hard that I was somehow back on my feet and against the tree again.

"You..." he started. I stared at him with half lidded eyes, wondering how I could continue on what I had started. He was too close to me now. If I let my knees buckle, his body would prevent me from going back down on him again. Now that I had a taste I didn't want to stop. Why was he stopping me? I should have transformed back to Sakura. He wouldn't have stopped Sakura.

He pushed his hips against mine, reminding me of a need that I had been busy trying to entomb in the back of my head. I push my hips back, because he started it, digging myself against his wet member. My hand clawed at his annoyingly strong, hard body. Man, would I have loved to try to sink into that, to be in the fucked up bastard. A feral fire awakened in me. The only thing that was stopping me from reversing our roles and pinning Sasuke to the tree was the mild ache in my broken arm, and the way that Sasuke was pawing at me that I didn't really want to stop. The collar of my jacket had been shoved away and Sasuke's face was buried into the crook of my neck. He grabbed a mouthful of flesh with his teeth and sucked. My hips jolted, desperate to burry myself into him. I moaned, not caring what I sounded like. My one hand was raking over him hard, over bare skin, trying to fully remove his pants, trying to kiss him, trying to do everything, all at the same time.

With my jacket open, my shirt was pushed up to my armpits. Sasuke's fingers searched my body like he was trying to find a hidden button that would open me more up. I didn't really know what he was trying to do, but I didn't care as long as he continued to touch me. He continue to bite parts of me with his teeth while my body spazzed underneath his hands.

I was finally able to grab the back of his head, tearing his mouth away from my abused neck, and kiss him. One of my legs tried to wrap around him, tried to get him even closer so I could grind my hips into his small delicate ones. I had half a mind to push him straight into the ground.

He bit my bottom lip because my kiss had been too sloppy. I didn't care, and made the next one even worse. I slobbered all over his face, just to be obnoxious, until he sucked my tongue into his mouth and I made a noise in submission.

That ended abruptly as Sasuke snaked his hand up to my throat, slamming me back against the tree. My eyes searched his face, resenting that bit of cloth covering his eyes. I wanted him to see my face. I wanted him to know how I felt. I couldn't say it with words. We never could say it with words.

"Turn around," he demanded. I pushed my lips together, feeling suddenly empty. It was clear what Sasuke wanted, and it was clear that I'd let him. It just killed my boner slightly.

"You want me to be Sakura?" I asked.

"I don't give a fuck," Sasuke uttered as he spun me around himself.

I had expected 'no', only because it was one of his favorite words. I didn't expect the amount of disappointment I would feel when he didn't say the word. Seconds ago, I had Sasuke in my arms. Now, I had this dumb tree in front of me. I pressed my face into the cold, rough bark anyway.

I had a shiver when I felt a breeze reach a sensitive place. Sasuke let my pants fall to my ankles. He pressed up against me, still somewhat sticky from my drying spit. Nervousness was bubbling in my lower stomach like bile. I tried to tell myself this was what I wanted. This was really Sasuke. He was really here. I trusted him, didn't I?

Yea, I trusted him to put me down, call me dumb names, rip my heart out and stomp on it until it was paste. I trusted him to always throw that same punch, to always give me that bruise that would smart much longer than any other. I trusted him that he would make sure this would hurt.

But Sasuke didn't ram into me with unforgivable force. He just stayed behind me. I felt his hot breath on my neck before he clutched my arms tightly with both hands. His face pressed into my shoulder to suppress a choking sound. Shit, was Sasuke chickening out? I suddenly didn't want that either. He was shaking like a leaf behind me. Any second he could zip away, leave my bare ass in the wind. I quickly tried to think of comforting words. I could tell him it was okay, that I wanted this, that I trusted him. I could suggest doing things in a different way, perhaps more intimate, more meaningful. Anything to try to make him feel more comfortable.

But this was Sasuke, and I was pretty sure he couldn't stand being comfortable, as he seemed to reject all things nice and wonderful. So I said, "What's the matter? Pussying out? Thought you were gonna prove to me you weren't a girl. Maybe you're more of a bottom, anyway-FUCKING SHIT!" I swore as Sasuke shoved himself in.

And that's what made it okay, because that was what I was used to. Say something dumb to Sasuke, and received pain back. I was braced for it somewhat. Knowing Sasuke, my body always knew when to brace itself at the right times. It would have been nice if my body could counter as thoughtlessly and effectively as Sasuke could against my attacks, but at least that subconscious bracing made things more bearable than being constantly surprised with pain.

It wasn't even all that bad. I had experienced much worse. I had been stabbed through with a multitude of different kinds of weapons, of different types of chakra that all had their own unique way of damaging the body. I had the memory of death from every single one of my suicidal clones that were destroyed in unforgiving ways. Really, this type of feeling was nothing. It was just in an area that I wasn't used to feeling this... intense.

Sasuke didn't move again after he entered me, besides his gasping breaths that made his whole body shutter, each one giving me a slight burning feeling as skin was being stretched. I got a strange sense of snapping, of tearing, but I tried to remind myself that nothing was life threatening. My body adapted fast to everything. And then I couldn't feel anything. I mean I could still feel Sasuke... inside me... but that was all. No pain. No pleasure. He was just there.

Once I started to calm down, I realized Sasuke wasn't going to. He was breathing so hard I was afraid he would choke on his own spit. I felt somewhat helpless. I couldn't simply turn around and figure out what the fuck was going on with him, because I was quite literally pinned in my position.

Getting fed up with the bastard behind me, I rocked myself into him. He grabbed onto me and made a sound like I was trying to push him off a cliff or something. Whatever. I ignored him for a moment as I concentrated on the friction inside me. I decided I liked it, because it was something, and I always needed to feel something. I almost always seemed to be horny. The weirdest things would turn me on. It was a problem. Ever since fucking puberty. And this, as long as I kept relaxed, as long as I didn't think Sasuke was tearing out my insides, it was really good.

I grabbed myself, pumping me back into hardness. Sasuke started clawing my hips, trying to keep my still, but I ignored that too, even though his fingers were leaving bruises, his short nails making red angry crescent shapes. The Nine Tails would heal it anyway.

Sasuke made a frustrated groan, and suddenly, he thrusted into me hard and fast. I was seeing stars again but a totally different type than the ones from being punched in the face. A flash of white light. A searing, burning of pleasure and I thought I almost came. All I could think of was that I wanted that to repeat.

Sasuke was annoying still again, so I continued to rub against him, desperate to feel that feeling return. Sasuke was also, obnoxiously, after all this time, still slightly taller than I was, and I was having trouble getting the angle just right. "St-stop moving," Sasuke stuttered.

"Fuck, come on!" I whined. "Please," I mumbled without thinking. He didn't deserve my begging, or my asking. He didn't even deserve to be fucking inside me, but I was hopeless, and wanted him anyway. "Please. Please. Please."

"Shut up," Sasuke breathed, grabbing my head and pressing it against the tree. "Just shut up for once."

He moved so slowly. It was torture. It wasn't for my benefit. He already rammed into me like he was trying to cleave me in half. Tenderness meant nothing to me after that. Though as I started to think about it more, this was supposedly Sasuke's first time of doing anything like this. He wasn't going to last much longer, especially if I kept rubbing against him persistently, and then it would be over for me too. I sighed impatiently. If it was actually true that the bastard didn't even touch himself, he was bound to go off any second. I suddenly went still, even holding my breath. Fucker. If he just masturbated like a normal human being...!

"Fuck, I don't care. Just do it. Just get it over with."

Sasuke agreed. He shoved me roughly against the tree, my hand that had been clutching myself trapped between my body and the bark. I had to quickly turn my head so that the cheek that was pushed into the wood wasn't the one that was swollen. I didn't have time to be annoyed with Sasuke's harsh treatment, because he was giving me what I wanted again.

Hard, fast, hot, was all I could think. I couldn't even seem to breath, even though I vaguely heard me huffing over myself. It was almost too much for me to handle until I found that one thought to try to concentrate on. Just the release. I just needed the release.

I was drooling on the tree. I almost thought about biting the dumb stupid thing. I don't know why. I felt like I needed to claw at something, but my one arm was broken and the other was stuck. I needed to tear something up. Probably Sasuke. Definitely Sasuke. But the dumb tree was in the way.

I realized if I pushed back in time with Sasuke, the feeling was even more intense, so I did that. It freed my hand and it shot up above my head to gab nothing. I gave a wordless cry. If I didn't finish soon, I was turning around. I was going to beat that bastard senseless. He had three more seconds, I decided.

And just as a predicted, Sasuke wasn't going to last three more seconds. I couldn't help myself feeling somewhat smug that I had lasted longer than him. Also, the way his arms were circled around me as he came felt really good. Like he needed me.

Hell, he did. Who else was he gonna fuck? I ignored the sudden list of names that popped in my head from my own silent, hypothetical question.

I winced slightly when I felt hot liquid pool inside of me. My heart was still beating fast. I wasn't finished yet. I had some pretty unholy thoughts of showing Sasuke how it was all supposed to be done, but before I could spin around and run Sasuke through the ground like he deserved, Sasuke let out a distress cry.

And it wasn't some sort of orgasm noise, because it was a moment late. What should have been deep breaths of his heart calming down, were getting quicker and quicker. Any dark intentions I had for the fucker were put on hold. Sasuke was having some sort of panic attack and I cursed at myself for always having to be the better person. I mean come on, I was as horny as fuck.

With some effort, I freed myself from Sasuke and turned around to him. When I detached Sasuke from my body he fell to his knees, hands covering his face, his breath even harsher than before.

"Sasuke," I stated, not having much warmth in my voice. This was off putting. Sasuke wasn't supposed to be the weak one. His pride and stubbornness weren't supposed to let it show that he was human and had feelings. I wasn't entirely sure on how to deal with human Sasuke when I was so used to dealing with asshole Sasuke.

I knelt to my knees as well, reaching a hand to try to take one of Sasuke's away from his face. I was rewarded with a slap, right in my bruise. I cursed, and shoved him on his back. I landed on him, the shoulder with the broken arm securing one of his, while my free hand fought with his other.

"Sasuke! For once in your fucking life-!" I only barely dodged another smack to the face. I grabbed his hand, fingers interlocking, before slamming it down next to his head. "-don't be difficult!"

Sasuke's body went slack, like he was heeding my demand. That also made me uncomfortable. I stared hard at his face, trying to read a blank page. His breath had slowed down. That was the only information I was able to get. Then he spoke.

"I'm not homosexual."

I stared at him uncomprehending a moment longer. Then I cracked a grin. Still on top of Sasuke, with my pants down and with an erection, I said, "Me neither."

Sasuek turned his face away from me, putting some distance between our mouths. "Don't... Don't follow me to hell, Naruto."

"Don't go there and I won't."

"I can't... Just... Just leave me alone. Let me go alone."

I released his hand to touch his face. The bandages were damp, and I didn't think it was from sweat. Shit. The bastard couldn't really be crying. I had never seen him cry. My fingers searched under Sasuske's bangs, trying to find a way to undo the wrap. Wet bandages would irritate the skin. He should take these soiled ones off. Or maybe I just wanted to see proof to the tears. Frustrated when I couldn't find the end of the cloth, my hand started just to roam Sasuke's face instead.

"If you're going to do it, I don't care," Sasuke murmured. "I won't fight. You can do what you want. I'll let you." I paused in my movements. I knew it must have been quite obvious of my erection to Sasuke, as I currently had it dug into his stomach. But I wasn't going to take advantage of him when he was like this. I wasn't going to do anything simply because he would let me.

If he wanted me, then that was a whole other story. But Sasuke wouldn't voice himself wanting someone else. He couldn't even admit he wanted Sakura. I wasn't completely sure if he wanted me either. Maybe the offer was given only because he thought he deserved some sort of punishment.

Often, for hours, I would think about Sasuke's and my entire relationship. From the first moment I saw him, the first words spoken and every other interaction that happened between us after. I'm not sure when or why I started titling us as friends. Friends shouldn't fight as often as we did. Friends shouldn't hate each other so much. But we had to be friends because we were certainly something. How could simple enemies know the other so well? Sasuke knew me so much. He knew every breath and move I would take before I did. He understood where I was coming from when no one else had.

I liked to say I knew him just as well but I was always second guessing myself. I liked to say I knew exactly what Sasuke was feeling, but perhaps it was me only projecting my own feelings onto him. I knew I didn't understand him in the beginning. I didn't understand why he wanted to do more killing when he had already witnessed murder.

But then I did.

When Pervy Sage died, I knew what that grief was like. That anger, it was enough for me to not care what the Nine Tails would do to my enemies, and I wanted to see it happen. I wanted to see Pein suffer as he died. At that very moment anyway, I felt just like Sasuke. Trying to understand what it was like to feel like that constantly was unimaginable. I couldn't handle all of Sasuke. I wasn't him. But I knew a small part intimately. It was just a part, but it was enough to try to be open minded for the rest of him, to accept him even if I couldn't understand everything. If I could understand that about him after so long, then Sasuke must understand some part of me as well.

And maybe, the reason why he hated me so much was for the same reason why I hated him. Maybe he saw a part of him in me. Projection again, but whatever. I just knew that whenever I saw him, I felt this pain.

I had always been jealous of him. I had been jealous of him because he had a family. He obtained Sakura's attention. He was the better looking one. He was better at ninjutsu, taijutsu and genjutsu.

When Sasuke lost his family, I may have been a little bit happy. Finally, Sasuke was more like me. If we were more alike, maybe Sasuke might even like me, admire me. Didn't I deserve something for admiring him so much? Jealousy turned into rivalry. I had just wanted his acknowledgement.

Attraction.

That came later, but slowly. It started when Sasuke imposed on my dreams of Sakura. First it would be of me beating him up and winning Sakura over. Sometimes, I would be Sasuke. Then they got weirder and stranger, where kissing Sakura in front of Sasuke, became kissing Sasuke in front of Sakura. I would think too much about Sasuke's body and closeness when we spared, or fought. I hated myself for it, but I began to accept that I found Sasuke sexually attractive.

Yet I wasn't in love with him. That's what made it okay. I could be sexually attracted to men sometimes. Pervy Sage told me there was nothing wrong with that, though it was hard for me to truly except such things were okay. I grew up learning that it was wrong and sinful. I disgusted myself, despite Jiraiya's comforting words. I accepted that I was fucked up, but it was okay, because I would not fall in love with Uchiha Sasuke. I saw what that had done to Sakura. I wouldn't be able to handle it. Not when I was barely handling Sakura's rejection. I only cared about Sasuke because he was a friend, a comrade, a member of Konoha. I had to save him for that reason. It was my ninja way. So what if he was hot? I wasn't in love with him.

I'm not in love with him, I would say to myself, especially after Sakura had asked the question. I wasn't. I couldn't be.

Even if maybe he could want me too. Even if there had been times where Sasuke had been willing to give his life for mine. Even if as hard as he tried to sever our bond, he simply couldn't. Even if I was the closest thing Sasuke could feel to being in love, because of his shattered, dead, broken heart. Even if I was his most fucking precious person, I would not be in love with him.

Because no one could love me as hard as I loved them. It sounded arrogant to say, but it had to be so, or I would imagine it would be impossible for other people to function. I found myself never really fully functional.

I wanted it. I dished it out so hard because I needed it in return. I got down right obsessive. To the point if someone showed just the inkling of desiring me in anyway, I would give. I would give them anything.

Sasuke did nothing as I rested my forehead against his, taking a shuttering breath. "You'd... You'd have to want me..."

Sasuke lifted his hand to lay lightly on my head. I knew that was the farthest indication that he would allow himself into admitting anything. And you know something? It was enough.

I took hold of his chin, and ran my tongue to rid the drying blood from his face. I tasted the salt that was hidden right beneath the bandages. I licked the shell of his ear, like a lion cleaning a cub, like I could wash off the sins. Sasuke did nothing to stop me.

I gently nippled on his ear and neck, hoping to make the blood in his veins start running again, because him being so still like this was like he had already died.

Slowly, I started to bring Sasuke back to life. His limp body made small responses, tiny twists, slight curves. His breath quickened, yet stayed steady and I returned my mouth to his, trying to suck his soul right out and into me. His soul couldn't go to hell if I had it, right?

Sasuke didn't do much in return. He let both of his arms fall still at his sides. He was delicate and broken. Not even his perfect, sculpted body could make him look any less hopeless. Gazing at him, I should have been angry, jealous, that he was more beautiful than I, but I couldn't because he was so utterly small all of a sudden.

I rubbed, trying to put color into alabaster skin. I sucked with my mouth, trying to be gentle, but the red and purple marks I found myself leaving behind were the only thing giving me any sort of relief. Anything was better than blank white. I tugged off his pants slowly, like I was working with a scared and wild animal. I grazed every inch of his body with care, like a sacred object.

I never thought it would be like this. If, for some reason, Sasuke and I felt the same way, I figured it would be a violent fight of dominance that would leave the both of us severely wounded, dead, or fucking the other, and if the one that got fucked wasn't dead by the end, he would turn around and fuck right back. It would happen within an instant, without planning. There would be nothing soft, or romantic about it. It was all about physical, sexual attraction. Because Sasuke and I weren't in love with each other. We hated each other.

Ironically, I had always imagined it to be more like this with Sakura-chan. Our first time was supposed to be memorable, perfect. I was supposed to tell her how much I loved her. But that didn't happen. Our first time had been sudden and cold. Even after that, seeing her again, it wasn't how I imagined it all to be in my head. Romance. I wasn't much good at it. But I knew I could have tried harder. I bet I could have been good at it. I bet I could have made her melt right in my hands with just a word or a look. But Sakura-chan loved Sasuke. And maybe I was a little bit mad about it, and at her. Maybe me being a tiny bit mad at her was the reason why I let myself kiss Sasuke, when I knew if she knew, the information would most likely destroy what was left of her broken heart.

She would never forgive me if she knew I had Sasuke Uchiha submissively laying naked underneath me. Maybe I would have felt more guilty if I thought of her as the more delicate one. I used to think so. But Sakura could now crumble mountains. Sakura could now mask a feeling with a fake smile that could fool anyone. She was stronger than Sasuke, who was breaking before my eyes. How did that happen? Sakura was the pretty, sensitive girl on my team where as Sasuke had always been the asshole. An asshole, who was doing absolutely nothing right now.

"Sasuke," I whispered. All he did was twitch his head slightly to prove that he was listening. I couldn't decide if that was enough. I hadn't really had anything to say. I just wanted a reaction. I kissed the inside of his thigh. I decided that I was going to try to prepare Sasuke rather than just rape him which he seemed to expect me to do. Even Sakura seemed to expect me to be like that. She had made things move so fast. Why couldn't we do it slow for once.

I didn't really know what I was doing. All I had were vague words from porn books that Jiraiya wrote. I lathered a finger with spit. The first touch, I didn't even put much pressure into penetrating, but Sasuke's head shot up with a gasp. I was just happy that it proved that he was alive.

"What are you doing?"

"I don't want to hurt you."

"Stop thinking like that."

Sucked for him, because I was going to continue to think like that. I did everything slowly. Honestly, Sasuke could have stopped it all if he wanted to. I was giving him every opportunity for him to tell me to fuck off. I didn't have him pinned against a tree. I wasn't even hovering over him anymore. He could get up if he wanted to. A part of me wished he would. I wish he'd get up, then kick me in the face, because I still couldn't get over submissive Sasuke.

I don't know if I hurt him. Sasuke wouldn't have told me if I had. I told him quite deliberately everything I would do before I did it. Sasuke gave no answer in response.

I asked him if he was ready. He only made a murmuring noise.

When I entered him slowly, a high pitched gush of air escaped Sasule's lips and I covered it up with my mouth. I dug my fingers into his hair as I moved as slowly as I could. Sasuke's mouth moved against mine and I felt a surge of appreciation. He didn't hold me but that was okay. I was more concern over that kiss than actually being inside of him. I had been hard for so long that I was a little numb to feeling anything else.

Concentrating on that kiss, somehow, it seemed just as familiar as sparring. I don't know how. It wasn't like Sasuke and I had done much practicing making out with each other. At least not on purpose, but all accidental contact of our mouths touching didn't explain how Sasuke just knew me so well, moved with me so perfectly, why it all just felt so right. It almost felt even more right than finally kissing Sakura.

Sasuke slowly raised his hands, them going to either side of my head gently. It wasn't to keep me in place as I wasn't going anywhere. It was just to simply touch me, like we were lovers. But we weren't, because lovers loved each other. The intimate feeling almost had me crying. I pulled away slightly just because I didn't want to cry in front of Sasuke. I don't care if he started it first. The movement reminded me that I was inside of him, and instead of steadying my emotions, they were just getting heavier.

I wanted to make sure that Sasuke felt good too, but I knew he would force himself to be soundless the entire time. Sakura had made a lot of noises when I had been with her, and I was able to gage my movements with her reactions to know what she was enjoying. Sasuke wouldn't be as easy.

I sat up a little bit, pushing myself up with my arm. I let that hand trail his skin, down his chest and lower, ever so slowly so as not to startle him. Sasuke was beginning to harden again but he was still pretty soft. I had only grazed it slightly before Sasuke shot his hand over mine. I went still for a moment and a half before slowly sliding my hand out from under his, then replacing it with his own. I gently closed his own fingers around himself, positioning him how I would have held myself, hand fisted, thumb just over the head. Once that was all in place, I guided his hand down gradually, before making it go back up. I bit my lip in concentration, willing Sasuke to harden fully again, trying to find a pace that suited him.I watched him grow, swirling Sasuke's thumb once around the tip. I was turning myself on. I felt myself twitch inside him.

His knuckles in my grip shifted to accommodate the growing size. I leisurely continued moving his fist up and down before letting it go and letting him do it on his own. Free, Sasuke sped up, biting his own lip.

Shit I had been right.

Sasuke touching himself was a major turn on. I wondered if he would start doing it now on a regular basis. I wondered if he would think about this moment, if he would think about me. The devil knew that I thought of him a fair number of times.

I leaned back, my hand going underneath Sasuke's knee, lifted it slighting so I could squeeze his thigh. I resting against his raised leg, watching Sasuke pumping speed up, his head rolling back, exposing his throat.

Fuck.

I nudged myself deeper into him, holding onto his leg. Sasuke went ridged and stopped moving.

"Don't stop," I whispered. "Please."

He continued, but more less vigorous than before. Now that he knew I had been watching him so intently. He almost seemed shy, but shy was one of those things that Sasuke was never. I leaned closer to him, raising his leg higher as I sunk in deeper. It was the way his lungs exhaled air that got me hissing at myself really.

Sasuke couldn't see me all this time, and I part of me thought that was the reason hewas letting this all happen. Maybe he was pretending I was Sakura or some other girl that he was attracted to. But it suddenly occurred to me that Sasuke couldn't be entertaining himself with such fantasies now. Not with a woman anyway.

Sasuke's hand started moving faster again, so I tried to move in time with it. Sasuke let out a low whine, and I thought my body was going to crumble from it. I allowed my myself to lean to the right to allow Sasuke room to move his arm rapidly back and forth, my hips jerking mostly involuntarily with it. My head rested just above Sasuke's left shoulder as I tried to squirm way deeper and deeper into him. I could feel Sasuke's heart beating against mine. I nuzzled my face against his neck, smelling him.

I don't know what Sasuke was thinking during this time. I knew he was sure as hell planning on bolting when it was all over. He wasn't going to stick round to talk about it. With the realization that Sasuke could be gone in a matter of moments I tightened my grip on his thigh, I sunk my teeth into his neck, and thrusted harder. If we merged into one person he couldn't leave me again. That was a silly thought. But I wasn't going to let him leave again. i couldn't handle him leaving again. How to make him stay I didn't know and it didn't matter. I'd just simply not let go.

Sasuke tilting his head back pulled his flesh free from my teeth. I licked the spot instead, getting high on the taste of his sweat. It was so familiar. I remembered every time drops of it would land on me as we fought, like the droplets had burned scars right into my skin.

I hadn't said anything in a long time. How uncharacteristic of me.

"Sasuke..." I huffed. "I... I want..." you to stay with me forever. Saying that wasn't going to make it happened. Saying that would most definitely make it not happen. Sasuke would flee like a bat out of hell. Anything just to do the exact opposite of what I wanted him to do. I tried to think of something along the lines of reverse phycology. Maybe something clever. Sasuke must not have appreciated me breaking the silence because he turned his head to me to give me a kiss before I could think of way to end my sentence. I knew it was to get me to shut up, but it still took my breath away. Sasuke's free hand landing on the back of my head. It startled me for a second because I had been unaware of where it had been previous. He forced my head down in the deepest kiss I've ever experienced. I whined into his mouth as his tough reached the back of my mouth. I was close. I didn't want to finish yet though. I wanted Sasuke to finish one more time with me inside him. I knew it was selfish. He had already released once.

I try to start a sentence again, but it muffled with Sasuke's persistent mouth. I pull away, almost suffocated. "I want to see them..." I realized Sasuke has no idea what I was talking about as per usual. I tap my forehead against his as if it was an explanation. "I wanna see your eyes." I knew looking at Sasuke in the eye wouldn't change a thing. It never had in the past. I don't know why I thought it would change this time. Maybe I thought looking him in the eye while he was cumming would make him fall in love with me or something. Something dumb like that.

Sasuke closed his mouth. I thought he would just ignore my request. One of his many talents, ignoring me. But after a moment he removed his hand from my head, and moved it to his own.

I let go of Sasuke's leg, using my own thigh to hold it in place and moved my arm so I could help Sasuke undo the bandages, all the while still slowly rocking my hips into him. He loosed them for me and I grabbed at them, pulling, and batting them away clumsily. I kissed him once more before fully removing the cloth. Then I opened my eyes to meet his.

Black.

Deep, deep black, like an entire universe could fit inside them.

Sasuke's face never showed much expression, and now it stayed true to its nature. It wasn't twisted in furry or passion or pleasure, like Sakura-chan's face had been. It showed nothing raw liked I wished it would.

What it did show was a strange serenity that I had never seen on him before. It was relaxed, peaceful, lips parted and swollen, a slight flush of pink a crossed his cheekbones, thick lashes crowning the black, black eyes. Sasuke was beautiful.

I pressed my sticky sweaty face against his perfect one, my breath harsher and ghastly compared to his small quick ones. My eyes squeezed shut once during a particular sudden tighten of muscles before I forced them open again. The longer my eyes were shut, the more time would go by where I couldn't see Sasuke.

I stared into the darkness, not remembering when I began to notice the beads of bright red that bled around the edges of his iris and was gradually thickening. I watched as three tomoe each were formed and began spinning. Hypnotized I continued to gaze as the red and black colors danced, forming a patterning I didn't recognize.

It never once clicked in my head that Sasuke's eyes were dangerous to me. I never once guessed a genjutsu could be casted. Sasuke had never done it to me in the past, even though Jiraiya had warned me that genjutsu was my biggest weakness.

I wasn't entire aware that my body was moving on it's own, since my hips working vigorously now had also been my idea, but something was still off, something was still strange. The emotions I were feeling didn't exactly change, as so much shifted to something darker and sadder. The physical pleasure also changed, because for a moment, I wasn't Naruto. I was feeling what Sasuke was feeling. Without words because I wouldn't be able to convey or understand such things. He was using only the emotions of his soul passing though me. For a moment I knew the truth to his everything.

And then I forgot everything.

---

I woke up outside, late night, or perhaps early morning, hands and feet frozen, upright at a base of a tree. My clothes were on, but ruffled. My right cheek was about four times as big as it should be. My left forearm was broken. My ass hurt. I was covered in dried sweat. I smelled like hell, and I had no idea why I was here.

I tried to think of the last thing I could remember, a feeling of dread now over powering the huge amount of hurt I was in. There was too many possibilities of very horrible things that could have happened to me. Too much was at stake at the moment.

The Akatsuki, Madara. The village being destroyed. Sasuke.

Sasuke.

No it was Sasuke.

Sasuke was here.

That was all I knew. I realized I smelled him on my jacket. He had been here. And it wasn't a good reason to relax, but I relaxed anyway. I wasn't even angry, though I knew I should be. How dare the fucker erase my memory! What was he trying to hide from me this time? He had beat me up good, that was for sure. Yet I didn't care. Not at the moment anyway. I was just only relieved. Another encounter with Sasuke was another proof that he still existed. Sometimes I worried I made him all up.

I felt my eyes start to drift shut again, body begging to go back to sleep. They snapped open when I remembered the next memory before Sasuke.

I had a very important S-rank mission to get ready for.