" You never had to steal my breath or take it away, somehow you have always managed to convince me to hand it over freely"
Jace stared at his ceiling, deep in thought. Although his wounds were now healed, thanks to Hodge, his body radiated a numb pain.
"pain is just weakness leaving the body," his father used to always tell him.
He didn't mind the pain. It took the edge off his thoughts, which seemed to be elsewhere. It seemed to be doing that a lot lately. He tried with every fiber of his being to direct his thoughts away from Clary Fray but the more he tried, the stronger his feelings for her became. Ever since he met her, she was slowly becoming the center of his world. He found himself caring less about things he did before, such as weapons, demons, training, and more about Clary. He wanted to protect her. Make her safe. Make sure nothing ever harmed her. He wanted to wrap himself around her and give her the world.
Was this love? He asked himself only to dismiss the thought almost entirely.
Love is for children.
He winced as he recalled the memory of his father killing his pet falcon.
To love is to destroy.
The thought of destroying Clary, made his blood rise in anger. The thought of harm coming to her, much less at his own doing, made him sick.
No, he did not love Clary Fray. He could not. He would not. And yet, he did. Jace rolled over on his bed and sighed. He was tired. Tired of fighting what seemed so right. Being around Clary seemed, so natural. Just her presence made his adrenaline soar. Her touch? Her touch made him feel invincible. Could this be love? What if it was? Would he be so bold and profess it? What if her feelings weren't returned. The thought of it horrified him. He had never doubted himself around females. Why would he? He was gorgeous, anyone could see that. Charming, cocky, and arrogant, he could have any girl he wanted, and he did. For no female, mundane or not, could resist his charms. But Clary? Something about her was unsettling. She was a challenge, and as much as he loved challenges, this was one he wasn't entirely sure he could face.
His thoughts were interrupted with a knock on his door. He sat up anxiously. He sauntered over to his door, pausing momentarily before answering, running his fingers through his disheveled golden hair. His stomach sank with disappointment as he slowly opened the door.
"Oh" he said irritably, turning away. Hodge followed after him.
" I'm not here to chastise you. There will be plenty of time for that in the morning", Hodge reassured him. Jace pretended to busy himself with his stele.
" I just thought you'd like to know that tomorrow is Clary's birthday". Jace felt his composure change, if only for a second, before regaining it back to careless resentment to was showing towards Hodge.
"right then", Hodge nodded before closing the door behind him.
Jace sat in silence before finally breaking into a smile. If to love is to destroy, then he would destroy himself loving her, he laughed as him walked over to the metal ornate box that sat atop his desk. As he reached inside, he pulled out a small rock and slipped it into his pocket before leaving the room.
Clary sat alone in her room, waiting for sleep to come, but alas it did not. Accepting the inevitable fate that slumber was out of the question, she rolled out of bed.
She was just reaching for the sketchpad under the pillow when a knock sounded on the door. She padded barefoot across the room and turned the doorknob quietly.
It was Jace.
Clean, in jeans and a gray shirt, his washed hair a halo of damp gold. The bruises on his face were already fading from purple to faint gray, and his hands were behind his back.
"Were you asleep?" he asked.
There was no contrition in his voice, only curiosity.
"No."
Clary stepped out into the hallway, pulling the door shut behind her.
from here the story fades back into the original City of Bones text. if you would like me to add it to the story, so it wont be complicated picking back up, then I will. If not, I'll leave it as it. Stay tuned for more :)