September 2013
You know how you have those moments that you're having great time and than someone says something or something happens and instead of smiling you frown and feel horrible?
Well I do...I was in the kitchen with Santana and Kurt and we were dancing and singing along to 'Blurred Lines',thats when the phone wrang...
Kurt answered but me and Santana were still dancing so we didn't notice Kurt was crying until...
I couldn't believe it at first so I told Kurt it wasn't funny but I knew he was telling the truth..
That day everything all of a sudden just...changed...
I haven't been in Lima for months but I had to come back...I needed to come back...After crying for 4 days straight Kurt convinced me to come back home with him and Santana.
So here I am,William McKinley Highscool God I hate this place!
It reminds me too much of him...but thats the reason I'm here,to relive the memories I have of him...
The auditorium...Our first Glee rehearsel,our first kiss,performance,graduation,proposal...I wish i had never taken that train to New York...No you know what I wish he wasn't so damn sweet and let me go so I could make my dreams come true!
I hope he knew that he was my biggest dream,marrying him,having kids with him and growing old.
But that will never happen...I can't believe it,i wont!
But its true isn't it..? He really passed away...how will I ever move on and be with another guy when he is the only person who I really truly trusted and loved.
All I know is that even if I can't move on and ever be with another guy,I will have a son and I will name him Finn and I will tell all the story's about him,all the things I loved about him.
His smile,eyes,laugh,the way he looked at me,the way his voice sounded when he told me he loved me,the way he touched me,...
I can't do this...I can't stay here!
What am I gonna do without him..?
Altleast I know he's looking down on me,my star in the sky...That was the best gift anyone ever gave me,even better than the signed Funny Girl poster my dads gave me.
I'm never gonna be the same without him...
But I'm gonna make him proud!I will stand on that broadway stage one day and I know he will be sitting in the crowd smiling and looking at me thinkin...
'That's my girl,that's my star'.
Cory is my favorite actor and He showed me that even if you had a rough childhood and had allot of problems with yourself that you could make your dreams come true if you really wanted it.
I never had the chance to meet him but i will miss him and I will always love him.
My heart brakes just thinking of how Lea,the Glee cast and behind the scenes,friends and his family are feeling...
I wish them strenght and courage.
Glee will never be the same without Cory and watching old episodes will alway hurt...
I hope I did a good job discribing how Rachell would feel,if I didn't I'm sorry...I just had to write something.
Sorry for the mistakes I wrote.