Headmaster Grimm's Paradise
Headmaster Grimm's Point of View
As I walk through the hall where I make my rounds, I take a look at my life. I realize it's very plain. But that's just perfect for a headmaster like me. I shun fancy things like electricity. At 4:30 in the morning I'm yelling at students. I made Raven clean the gym and Briar clean the dragon stalls. Even Apple White thinks that my mind is gone! I'm a man of the school, I'm into discipline. I've got a grade book in my hand and a beard on my chin. But if I finish my work, and the students finish thine, we're going to party like when I was born in 1699.
I've been spending most of my life living in a headmaster's paradise. It's hard work and sacrifice, since I'm living in a headmaster's paradise. I've expelled students once or twice, since I'm living in a headmaster's paradise. I sell strings of gold at market price because I'm living in a headmaster's paradise.
Hunter Huntsman kicked me in the butt last week. I just smiled at him, and I turned the other cheek. I really cared, but I wished him well. Because I'll be laughing my head off when I lock him in the dungeon. But I haven't ever punched a student even if they deserved it. A headmaster with an attitude, everyone knows that's unheard of. I never wear jeans, but I've got a cool mustache. My students agree that I look good in blue. If you come to evaluate my school, you'll be bored to tears. Because my students have been working hard for 300 years. But I'm not really quaint, so please don't point and stare. I'm just technologically impaired.
I allow no phones, no edible food, no motorcars. I don't allow a single luxury. Like Robinson Caruso, my school is as primitive as can be.
I've been spending most of my life living in a headmaster's paradise. I'm just a plain and mean old guy that's living in a headmaster's paradise. There's no time for fun and games, since I'm living in a headmaster's paradise. I don't fight, I have to play nice because I'm living in a headmaster's paradise.
Yelling at the rebels, expelling lots of students, I founded this school on a Monday, soon I'll start another! Think my Royals are righteous, think they're pure of heart. Well, I'm a million times as humble as thou art! I'm the greatest old man, my students want to be on my knees day and night to score points for their GPA. Not one of my students better not be vain or whiny, or else my fairy godmother I'll have to get medieval on their heinie!
I've been spending most of my life living in a headmaster's paradise. I'm a crazy man in tights. Because I'm living in a headmaster's paradise. There's no cellular devices, since I'm living in a headmaster's paradise. Everyone thinks my school bites, but I'm still living in a headmaster's paradise.
Author's Note: Ha ha ha ha ha! I'm laughing so hard right now! As I stated in the summary, this song is a parody of "Amish Paradise" by Weird Al Yankovic. I laughed so hard while I was writing it! This is also my first parody, so I hope everyone liked it because I know I do! I hope this brightened everyone's day a little. It definitely brightened my sister's when I read it to her! It also brightened my day! ;)