"That miserable, wretched, ungrateful cow!" Lily hissed as she descended into the Common Room. She balled up the already abused letter with fury and began marching towards the fire to chuck it, but was broken out of her reverie by a startled cry.
"Shit, Evans! Watch where you're pointing that!"
"Huh?"
She'd thought she'd been the only one in the Common Room. It was nearing three in the morning, after all. The only reason she was still awake was because the damned letter had kept her awake and angry for hours.
Upon inspection, Lily realized that Sirius Black was the one who'd spoken and followed his gaze to see that she was holding out her wand and it was, indeed, pointed right at him.
"Sorry," she mumbled grouchily, stowing it back into her robes. She made to shoulder past him, but he stopped her.
"What's the matter?"
"Why do you care?" she snapped. Shoving him out of the way, she continued.
"You seem upset."
"Oh, do I?" she said scathingly, rolling her eyes. "Top marks, Black. Finally you can tell one emotion from another."
"Oi, don't be pissy with me, Evans! I was just trying to be decent." Muttering darkly to himself, she heard him head towards the boys' dormitories.
She had reached the fire with every intention of throwing Petunia's letter right in, but found it much harder when she was staring the finality of the action right in the face.
"Sorry," she called, rather meekly.
"Come again?" Lily listened to his strides as he made his way back towards her, her eyes filling with tears.
"I'm sorry," she said again, quietly, staring resolutely away from him.
"Lily Evans apologizing?" he replied gleefully. "Has that ever happened before?"
She mustered a grim smile at his joke and nearly choked on her short spell of laughter.
"Evans?" He must have heard the sorrow in her sad excuse for a laugh and was now peering around her, trying to catch sight of her face. She turned it further out of his range, but was sure he'd seen enough to be getting on with. "Er—can I take you to…Madam Pomfrey?"
"Madam Pomfrey can't help," she muttered in a dull voice, sinking to the ground. Knowing he'd already seen that she'd been crying, she wiped her eyes with the sleeve of her robes though she kept her gaze towards the dancing flames in the fireplace. "Don't worry about it. Just go to bed."
Sirius watched her for a few seconds and then left, hurrying up the stairs to the boys' dormitories.
Once she heard the door shut, Lily began crying earnestly. Her anger had dissolved as soon as she reached the fireplace and was replaced by a mixture of deep sorrow and regret. For the first time in nearly eight years of knowing the truth about herself, she almost wished she was a Muggle.
If Lily hadn't been born with her magical abilities, she wouldn't be sitting on the floor crying like this. She'd probably be happier. She'd have her best friend back…
But Lily wasn't a Muggle. She was a witch with a sister who absolutely abhorred her for this very reason. And, if that wasn't enough, Petunia had even gone so far as to refuse Lily's presence at her wedding and denounce their relationship altogether.
Lily was crying so hard that she didn't even notice Sirius's return to the Common Room. She jumped when he touched her shoulder and, for the second time that night, pointed her wand at him.
"Dammit, Evans!" He pulled back his hand as though it had been burned and backed away a few paces.
"What are you doing here?" Her voice, already muffled by her running nose, was also tinged with annoyance that he had to see her in this state.
"I brought these…" He then dropped a small sack to the floor, with a mountain of candy and chocolate she recognized as Honeyduke's spilling out onto the rug. He quickly backed away again, eyeing her raised wand.
Bewildered, Lily put her wand away and looked from the sweets back to Sirius. "What?"
"I brought them…for you." He looked rather uncomfortable and kept looking all around the Common Room, as though he shared her embarrassment that he saw her in such a vulnerable state.
He then mumbled something under his breath, to which she said, "Sorry?"
"I was hoping they might cheer you up," he spoke up, his cheeks reddening.
She surveyed the rather large pile of sweets suspiciously.
"You're not hitting on me, are you?"
"Merlin no!" he cried with such vindication that she betrayed a rather hurt expression for a few moments. Upon seeing it, he added, "Not that—not that… It's just, James and I are mates and all…"
She eyed him for a few more moments before taking a Pepper Imp.
"So why are you bringing me about twenty galleons worth of Honeydukes just to make me feel better?"
"First of all, James's parents sent us all this so I didn't spend my own gold on it. And second, you might be surprised to know that I'm not as bad a bloke as you think I am."
"Some friend, nicking all this," said Lily as she bit into a bar of chocolate.
"We can get more whenever we want," Sirius said. "Besides, you don't seem to mind."
She glanced at him sheepishly and set down the Fizzing Whizbee she'd been about to take a bite out of while taking a break from the enormous bar of chocolate.
Sirius chuckled. "Eat as much as you want. Frankly, James's parents give him a decent amount of gold, so he always gets all of us some of Honeyduke's finest when we visit Hogsmeade. None of us will miss it."
She took back the Fizzing Whizbee.
"So why were you all upset in the first place?"
She took a bite of the Fizzing Whizbee in silence (she hovered a few inches in the air after swallowing it).
"Do you want to tell me, or would you rather bury it with sugar?"
"Bury it." As if to emphasize her response, Lily took a large bite of the Fizzing Whizbee and rose up about a foot higher in the air.
She was ready for him to pry, but was surprised when he said, "Yeah. I get it."
Lily turned to face him. "Really?"
"Yeah," he repeated, staring at the wall opposite him. "My life's not perfect either, Evans."
Lily averted her eyes. She'd forgotten that Sirius came from an old family of pure-blood wizards that were said to be rather Dark. Undoubtedly, this is what he was referring to as she knew that he did not feel the same way. But he had never divulged any details of this to anybody outside his trusted group of friends.
"I'm sorry," she said softly. She finished off the Whizbee, chewing the last of it longer than necessary. After swallowing, she made a decision and thrust Petunia's letter towards Sirius.
"I received this earlier today from my sister."
After she said the word 'sister,' Lily felt a strong surge to begin crying again. With much difficulty, she managed to hold in everything but a single tear. She didn't want to cry anymore.
After he finished reading, Sirius looked up, though he didn't say anything.
"She hates me," said Lily softly. This time she couldn't stop the tears. They came flowing down her cheeks once more. She was so upset, in fact, that she didn't protest when Sirius awkwardly patted her on the back.
"She doesn't," he insisted. "You might be surprised just how much it takes for you to truly hate someone."
"Did you see what she wrote to me?" Lily replied, her voice cracking. "She doesn't even want to be my sister anymore!"
"She doesn't mean it."
"Well, that doesn't really help," she huffed, glaring in the opposite direction.
"I know." After a few moments, he continued, "My brother hasn't spoken to me since I was sorted into Gryffindor."
With a pang, Lily realized that their sorting was a little over six years ago and softened.
"The whole lot of my family have been in Slytherin, including my brother Regulus. Well, when they found out that I was proud to be different, that I didn't feel the same way they did about blood and Muggles and stuff, he decided he didn't want anything to do with me. And my parents haven't been much better."
"I'm sorry," said Lily, frowning. She at least had her Mum and Dad, even if Petunia was cold to her...
Sirius shrugged. "My family isn't the—er—most decent people… It makes it a little easier. But, still, I wished I did have a family that I really loved, and that loved me…"
They both knew they were embarking on something deeply personal. Sirius hastily changed the subject.
"So, why do you hate James so much? He does really fancy you, even if it seems like a bad joke sometimes…"
"I know he does," she mumbled. "But he's been cruel, especially to my…friends."
"You mean Snape," Sirius muttered darkly.
After a moment, Lily admitted, "Yes. Severus was my friend, and he really didn't deserve how you lot treated him!"
Sirius looked thoughtful. "He might not have," he finally said with great difficulty. "But it's really hard not to dislike him… He doesn't have a likable bone in his body and he's as immersed in the Dark Arts as my family is. I'm surprised you were ever friends with him."
"I didn't know what he was really like," she said. "He was so kind to me…we grew up together and he introduced me to the magical world…"
"Well, James has grown up a lot," Sirius added. "We don't really pick fights anymore… At least, not without good reason."
She had noticed that James and Sirius weren't as big of pricks as they used to be, especially since James had been appointed Head Boy. But that didn't mean she liked James any better. Not in that way. Though it did help that he was, if she was being honest, fairly attractive...
"Yeah, you've both gotten better."
"Look, I know he's not perfect, but he's a good bloke. I think it's worth at least giving him a chance."
"Maybe."
She picked up her fifth Pepper Imp.
"If you keep bringing me sweets," she added jokingly. She blew out a small trail of fire and smiled. "These are my favorites."
"Mine too," replied Sirius with a smirk as he took one. "Let me show you what a real flame looks like."
And they proceeded to challenge each other to contests of blowing longer, bigger, or more impressive flames until all of the Pepper Imps were gone. Then they merely sat in silence for some time. Well, partial silence. Sirius had begun stuffing large amounts of Drooble's Best-Blowing Gum into his mouth and was making some pretty disgusting sounds as he chewed the gigantic wad.
"Thanks," Lily said after a while. "For tonight. It doesn't really change things between Petunia and I, but you did make me feel better. And it's nice to have a friend who understands what it's like."
"A friend?" Sirius asked, grinning as though he'd caught Lily doing something extremely embarrassing.
She reddened. "Well, sort-of. Hypothetically speaking. You're on probation, you know…"
She tried to sound stern, but her face broke into a grin as Sirius shook his head at her and chuckled.
