A/N: My first real Draco fic, written for the Controversial Challenge on HPFC. The prompt was anxiety disorder, which is rather close to home for me. Although I don't have it, the person who is closest to me does. It's tough, to say the least. Anyway, I hope that you all think this is alright. I'd love your feedback.
Sleepless
"Astoria?" The faint whisper came out of the dark, as she knew it would. As it always did, every night. Like clockwork.
She rolled over, and looked into the pale face of Draco Malfoy. He was wide awake, although the dark bags under his eyes were quite pronounced. She could feel him shivering under the sheets, despite the warm breeze coming through the open window. She sighed.
"What is it, my love?" She used the softest, most comforting voice her half-asleep brain could muster. Of course, she already knew the answer. It was always the same.
"I'm scared," he replied, his breathing rapid and shallow. "Every time I close my eyes, all I can think of is him."
"Darling," she cooed, pulling him into her, as if her arms could keep him safe from his own mind. "He's gone, right? He can't hurt you, or anyone else."
"But what if he comes back one day?" Draco's eyes were wider, his breathing more irregular. "He would kill me, my parents, you—"
"Draco, listen," she tried to keep a steady voice while still sounding sympathetic. "Harry Potter defeated him. He's gone now, for good. You're safe. Everyone is safe." She kissed his forehead, and wiped away a bit of the sweat that had gathered there with the edge of the blanket. "Now come on. Take a deep breath with me."
She took a deep breath, counting to ten, and then exhaled. She did it again and again until Draco kept pace with her, and she felt him relax. He nuzzled close to her, and finally let himself be exhausted.
"You'll keep me safe tonight?" He asked, resting his head on her chest to listen to the steady heartbeat there. "You won't let anything happen?"
"Of course," she replied, smoothing back his hair. She held him until she felt him drift off, before sighing with relief.
In the daylight hours, Draco Malfoy would be just as confident as always. He would act as if he had nothing to worry about. He would come home. They would make love. They would fall asleep smiling and holding each other. But Astoria knew that, in the deepest part of the night, he would wake up again, with all of the fears and anxieties that he didn't allow himself to feel during the day…or perhaps they were always there, just under the surface, waiting to come out at his most vulnerable moments. Astoria didn't understand it. She wanted to. She wished that she knew what to do to protect the one she loved. She tried her best, but she was afraid that it wasn't enough. Her greatsest fear was that one day she wouldn't be able to handle it anymore. But then who would he have?