It was perfect. The sun had sunk just below the horizon, casting a honey-glow of pinkish orange on the ground. There was just enough breeze to rustle the leaves, sending the few loose cascading down. A stray auburn leaf brushed my shoulder as it rushed to the ground. The air was dry, but warm, an oddity in the mid-autumn.
The forest was oddly still, as silent as the frost that crept on the undergrowth with day's disappearance. It was as if time stood frozen, only the light breeze betrayed it. I wanted time to be still. I wanted a second all to myself—no, I needed a second all to myself. But Owlpaw's presence betrayed it.
I could sense the apprentice creeping up on me. His scent was not cleverly well-masked in mud like mine was. He would walk right past me without so much as giving me a glance. I would then call him out on his mistake. It was our game of hunt-and-chase. He was the hunter. I was the mouse. But I was a clever mouse. I would not be discovered so easily.
My gray, ironically mouse-colored fur would be nearly impossible to spot so well-buried in the leaves. Owlpaw would have to look closely for my bright yellow eyes. I should close them as he passes, but I wanted to watch him. I wanted the victory of seeing the cluelessness in his dark amber eyes. I would not lose to my apprentice.
From a distance, I saw his jet-black figure like a shadow pelting across the fallen leaves. He was coming straight at me, though I was certain he didn't see me. He was so loud. Every good hunter knows that patience and quietness was key. This mouse would not be startled. Despite my pounding heart, I kept my eyes trained on his growing form. Each footfall and he was a little closer to finding me.
"Lilywing!" Owlpaw yowled, his voice getting eerily closer. His shadowed form was becoming a little clearer. I could make out his face. I half expected his dark amber gaze to be locked on my hiding place as he called my name, but his head was looking all around. I was even surprised, but ever delighted with a new idea for a hiding place, as his head turned up at the trees. "Lilywing! Shadepaw's been hurt!"
The blood pounded in my ears. Indecision shook my bones. Was it a ploy for me to reveal myself? Or was Shadepaw actually hurt? Owlpaw could be a clever liar at times, though this was no joking matter. I was torn. I would feel like a fool just running out to see what he wanted. I couldn't bear the look of amusement that would be on his face. I couldn't bear that unfair defeat. So this mouse would stay quiet… at least until he walked by. Once he went by, I would see if Shadepaw was really hurt. I just had to get that victory first.
Owlpaw drew very close. He was so close I could faintly smell the squirrel on his breath. He'd caught that squirrel. Soon, he would become a warrior. He was a decent hunter and fair fighter. But still, an apprentice should be no match for me. I was a seasoned warrior myself. I'd seen the face of death once before and survived. This was a simple game of hunt-and-chase.
"Lilywing, she really is hurt!" I could sense the anxiousness in his voice. He sounded honest, innocent enough. But then, didn't all liars?
His jet-black fur was spiked and his dark amber eyes were wild, frantic. It was quite a show—if it was one. Again, indecision plagued me. Here was my chance, my opportunity. I should uncover myself even if was a ploy. Shadepaw could be seriously hurt. The medicine cats were gone because of the half-moon. I had once been a medicine cat apprentice for a very short period. I could treat a basic wound. But I must wait until he's passed by, I reminded myself. I needed this victory.
A gentle breeze stirred the leaves of my hiding place. I felt a few float away, but unless Owlpaw looked closely, he would not notice a faint patch of gray fur. But I was no longer consumed with my hiding place. I half-wanted Owlpaw to find me just so I'd have the excuse to find out if Shadepaw was really hurt. I could not surrender. I could already picture his smug look, thinking himself clever. Having his 'injured' sister as bait would be just his style, too. He'd grown tired of my countless wins, I could tell. He was perhaps trying to get back at me.
Fear gnawed at my stomach. There was fear of Owlpaw being right. There was fear of Owlpaw being wrong. I didn't know which would be worse. Facing mortification or guilt. Both would be consuming.
"Come on, Lilywing! I know you're around here somewhere!" Owlpaw hissed, his gaze sweeping over my hiding spot as he looked around the clearing. I was surprised he couldn't see my wide eyes, hear my hammering heart, or feel my presence. "I'm not joking around! Shadepaw needs you!" He was practically daring me to keep hiding.
He was testing me. It was working, too. I was waging a war. My pride won swift and strong, cutting through my fears and doubts with merciless claws. I would remain.
But Owlpaw didn't. He turned around, giving an angry huff, and ran off, still yowling my name. My blood ran cold. It's not supposed to end like this.
~.~
Shadepaw was dead. She bled to death surrounded by the serene mid-autumn leaves under the honey-glow sky. Her wound was caused by a fox that had attacked her out hunting alone. Owlpaw had come across her during his hunt for me. Then the real hunt for me had begun.
My prideful self, I had waited for a long time in undermined torment until Shadepaw's mentor and Owlpaw had found me. They both hated me now. My apprentice lost whatever respect he'd had for me. Shadepaw's mentor was astounded that I was able to see Owlpaw as lying. But they didn't understand.
My Clan had mixed feelings about her death and my part in it. Some thought that it was a simple mistake—apprentices could be prone to lying. Others just scoffed at me for not taking action even if it wouldn't have been needed.
I could have survived my humiliation of Owlpaw discovering me. I was wrong when I weighed my fears. Guilt was like a fire. Its smoke was heavy as it filled my lungs. Each breath I took was another that Shadepaw wouldn't. I was already feeling the scorching words from my Clanmates. It consumed me, this fire.
All because of a game.
This mouse was not so brave, not so clever after all.