Fear of Losing

by AndiKaneUnderwood

Raph had thought surely that his days as Nightwatcher where done, that he was finished with the business of fighting in the Underground Ring. He'd hoped to god, he'd never had to hear the names "Big Boss" or "Deadbeat" again. The universe evidently had a sense of humor.

Balance Between

By: AndiKaneUnderwood

This is the sequel to Nightwatcher. Dedicated to Skye7Diamond, who first gave me the idea and allowed me the chance to write one of the best stories I've done. Thank you, Skye7Diamond.

AU: Human, Elemental Reincarnations

"It is not power that corrupts but fear. Fear of losing power corrupts those who wield it and fear of the scourge of power corrupts those who are subject to it."

~Aung San Suu Kyi

"There is a fine balance between honoring the past and losing yourself in it. For example, you can acknowledge and learn from mistakes you made, and then move on and refocus on the now. It is called forgiving yourself."

~Eckhart Tolle

Raph had thought surely that his days as Nightwatcher where done, that he was finished with the business of fighting in the Underground Ring. He'd hoped to god, he'd never had to hear the names "Big Boss" or "Deadbeat" again.

He prayed he'd never have to use the name Techno again.

Because that would mean that something had gone wrong.

Because that would mean that Raph would have to go back to the ring.

The universe evidently had a sense of humor.

Because here he was in full metal suit again, eyes narrowed behind the helmet and angry.

He got up to the front and stopped in front of the bouncer who'd been working the front doors as long as he'd been going there.

"Nightwatcher." the ugly man grunted.

Raph growled; an awful, cold sound, and nodded. "Deadbeat."

Deadbeat looked behind him briefly then grumbled, "Where's your friend?"

Raph growled again, then moved quicker than the eye could see.

Within seconds, he had Deadbeat pinned against the wall with a sai blade as his throat. "You tell me, Deadbeat since you're the one who ordered his capture. Where is he?"

Deadbeat struggled, but Raph's eyes flashed and became visible even through the helmet. Glowing, magma colored eyes met dark and beady black through the visors helmet and Deadbeat fell still against Raph's arms. "I don't know what your talkin' 'bout, Nightwatcher! I don't know what you mean!"

And Raph believed him because guys like Deadbeat are only strong until someone stronger comes along and beats them to the ground.

"He's has been missing for two days, Deadbeat, start talking. Fast or my sais will get the answer instead."

Deadbeat struggled again and Raph applied more pressure to his throat, "Better talk fast, Deadbeat, my patience is wearing thin."

Deadbeat cried out, then stilled, "Alright! Alright! I heard some of the boys talking about a skinny pain-in-their-ass last night. Names're Apocolypse and Horseman. They said something to a guy in black and grey, looked kinda like you're brothers normal clothes, but then they left and I didn't see them again! That's all I know, I swear!"

Raph yelled, punching the wall next to Deadbeat's head. The bouncer yelped, then fell to the ground when Raph back away. "You believe me, doncha Nightwatcher?"

Nightwatcher growled, low and deep in his throat. "Sure, Deadbeat. Go get Big Boss. I wanna talk to 'im."

Deadbeat scrambled to his feet and rushed off, babbling apologizes and promises as he left.

Raph yelled and punched the wall again, this time leaving soot-marks and cracks in his wake.

Where is he? Damn it, Don, where are you?

TMNT~TMNT~TMNT

(48 hours earlier)

Raph groaned as his mind floated away from the dark peaceful space sleep had taken him to.

"Raph!" whispered a soft, familiar voice.

"What's go'n on?" Raph asked, accent thick from sleep and rough little use in the past 12 hours.

He pried his eyes open and groaned again as a light hit his face, turning his head away and squeezing his eyes shut, "What the Hell?" he complained, raising an arm to block out the bright lights assaulting him.

A chuckle, then a cool feeling on his forehead. "You no longer have a fever and nausea is gone, right?"

"Yeah, just sore now," Raph replied.

A hum and Raph felt the brightness dim. When it was cold in the room again, he risked opening his eyes. The room was low lit and Raph was grateful for it.

He turned his head again and noticed a blob of color at his right. "Hey." he rasped.

The blob turned and came into sharper focus. Donatello stood there in all his skinny, nerd glory.

He smiled brightly and pushed his glasses up his nose, offering a hand to his older twin brother. "Hey! Feeling better?"

Raph nodded once and pushed himself on his elbows as the sore feeling flooded away when he took Don's hand.

The ginger boy stood and grunted as his back and legs popped a few times.

Relief flooded his system and Raph smiled. "Time for patrol?"

Don nodded, "Just about. It's about six forty-five."

"Alright, good. Just enough time to get the plan up and running." Raph smiled, offering his hand to Don again and the brunette boy took it with a smile.

They snuck out of the room and promptly disappeared into the shadows, each of them carrying a water balloon full of a different kind of liquid.

Raph headed for a picture covered door while Don slipped into a room with a hand-painted Japanese symbol of the door.

They carefully balanced the ballons where their brother would not easily find them and then slipped out of their rooms again.

They met up in Don's room to wait.

It wasn't but five minutes later that they heard twin cries of outrage.

"Raph!" whined one voice at the same time another shouted, "Don!"

The twins broke out into laughter, bright and happy and easy to get infected by.

When their older and younger brothers appeared in the doorway to Don's room, the pair had devolved into giggles.

However, upon seeing their brothers dripping with mud, they dissolved into laughter again.

Leo narrowed his eyes furiously, "Haha, guys. You're going to think it's really funny when you're doing the graveyard streets tonight."

Don smiled brightly, "Worth it."

Raph nodded his affirmation.

So, they set out on patrol. Leo, true to his word, had sent Raph and Don out to the graveyard streets.

The "graveyard streets" were streets that even the most dangerous of criminals didn't go down.

Those where the streets that were so quiet, even Mikey got tired of patroling them.

So it made sense that it was the worst of punishments for the adrenaline junkie twins to have to patrol them.

Don hummed under his breath as he and Raph sat on a roof, taking a brief break from patrolling to consume a few calories in the form of a granola bar.

Raph glanced over and watched Don watch the shifting clouds in the sky.

"Hey, Don? You ever wish we didn't have to do this whole 'saving the world' thing? That we weren't the newest incarnations of the Elementals?" Raph questioned.

Don's humming stopped. "Well, I do and I don't, if that makes any sense at all. I do because then none of us would have such bad PTSD or panic disorders. I mean, mine's been around since we were five and Leo has always been a perfectionist, but it wouldn't be all that bad. But I also don't because God knows that all of this crap would be put on someone else's shoulders and I don't want anyone else to have to deal with this."

Raph smiled, that was Don for you, always looking to put others first. Never once did he think of himself first, unless it was as a test subject. "Yeah, Donny. Me too."

He turned back to watching the sky and smiled happily. Life liked to throw curve balls at them, but in that moment, with Don laying on his back beside him and the clear night sky stretching out above them, nothing could bring him down.

TMNT~TMNT~TMNT

Raph woke up slowly, then all at once.

He bolted to his feet and looked around. The damage around him was concentrated on one specific spot. Almost like someone had sent out sound waves to bring the place down.

Raph's eyes widened in realization.

Don's powers were based on the Earth, so he could have brought the entire building down.

Flashes of memories came rushing back to him.

They'd been heading back, laughing at their next prank, and they were ambushed.

"Genzai, get down!"

"Iyashi! I- Raph!"

Raph looked around again, seeing nothing. "Donny?"

He stepped once, wincing as his ankle protested the movement. He then limped around, "Donny?"

He felt something crunch under his foot and looked down.

A piece of paper had been left and Raph leaned down to pick it up.

He read over it quickly, eyes widening in horror. "No." he whispered.

"No!" Raph raced around the destroyed building, ignoring his ankle and looking around wildly, "Donny!"

The paper fluttered to the ground, revealing it to say, If you ever want to see your brother again, you know where to go. Your takedowns where always legendary, but what happens when we take down you?

"Donny!" shouted Raph as he skidded to a stop in front of where the entrance of the ruined building should've been.

He collapsed to his knees as tears began streaming down his cheeks. "No," he murmured.