[[Author's Note:
This is a giftfic for DaiKuro-chan, who requested something with animals. I was struggling writing and re-writing the first thought I'd had, and then I was thinking about Buzz and Little Boy Cat and basketfuls of kittens and…this happened. I hope you like it!
H&Ks, Elske]]
It's a proven fact that there's nothing to make legions of women swoon quite like the sight of an attractive young policeman, in uniform, carrying a basketful of kittens. Unfortunately – or perhaps fortunately – for Buzz MacNabb, there aren't exactly random legions of women around the SBPD. There are, however, legions of co-workers, and since his wife said "we can only keep one" (despite all his protests to the fact that keeping all five kittens would be the best fun ever), he's brought the rest of Little Boy Cat's offspring to the office, with vague hopes that his co-workers would be the best ones to pawn them off on.
Little Boy Cat's been a very attentive mother, which has almost made up for the surprise that Little Boy Cat is a totally inappropriate nickname for her. (They're still trying to settle on something better. In the meantime "Cat!" seems to work.) The kittens are playful and adorable and Buzz really, really wants to keep them: but then, he thinks, if they go to live with his co-workers then maybe he can have visitation rights. And there's certainly no way that he's going to put out an advert for 'free kittens'; he's heard enough horror stories from the academy of the fates of those animals going to uncertain homes for free.
He can't choose which of the five he wants to keep: he kind of loves them all equally, and so he figures that whichever kitten is left over is the one that'll come home to live with them. Frannie seems fondest of the beige stripy one, but when he asked if she wanted to keep that one, she told him that he could choose, so they're back to square one on that.
The little things are mewing and crawling all over one-another in the basket: Buzz hadn't considered the fact that reckless kittens could be destructive kittens and that might not bode well for finding new homes.
It's the Chief's attention that he captures first, and for a moment he's afraid that she's going to scold him. But her eyes go all soft when she sees the kittens, and she says something about how she thinks Iris is old enough for a pet – and maybe that will stop her incessant pleading for a baby brother which is simply NOT going to happen – and Buzz just nods and watches as the bosslady picks up each of the kittens in turn, cooing at them in the same kind of babytalk any human being with a heart uses when confronted with something so precious as an entire basket of kittens.
There's one of the kittens that seems to like the Chief best: one of the two that look like Little Boy Cat, only several shades lighter. (Calico, the veterinarian told Buzz, calico is what that's called, all black and white and orange, and the odds of a calico cat being a boy are about one in three thousand.) She wanders back to her office, with the kitten curled up purring on her shoulder, and Buzz congratulates himself on a job well done – the Vick family will be a great home, he thinks, and he's pretty sure if he asks really nicely he can go over and see Sparky every now and then.
The news of the kittens spreads, and several of his co-workers gather around to coo at and play with them. Most of the station, in fact, has stopped by to see them: with the notable exception of one Carlton Lassiter, steadfastly doing his paperwork (despite the fact that his partner has been playing with the grey stripy kitten for the past half hour.)
When Shawn and Gus stop by the station, Buzz is thrilled: he knows how fond Shawn was of Little Boy Cat, after all: he was the one who gave him Little Boy Cat in the first place! Gus is soon on the floor with O'Hara and the little grey kitten and Shawn is dashing across the station to plop himself on Lassiter's desk.
"Dear Lassidear…" Shawn begins, perching on the edge of Lassiter's desk, peering flirtatiously down at him.
"No, Shawn."
"…you don't even know what I was going to say!" Shawn protests.
Lassiter sighs, drops his pen, looks at his boyfriend. "You're going to ask if we can get a kitten. The answer is no."
"Lassy!" Shawn pouts. "You love animals. We're allowed one cat or one dog in the lease."
"For the record, I do not love all animals. I like horses. Horses are both sensible and useful. Kittens are neither of those things. Besides…" he trails off, bites his lip, looks away. "If you and I, if we get a cat…we've already moved in together, and getting a pet together…that's just the first step towards becoming Those Guys."
"Those Guys?" Shawn looks confused. "Which Guys, dear Lassidear?"
"It's a slippery slope. First you move in together and then you're having cats and soon enough you're…listening to opera and hosting brunches and hiring interior designers and I don't want to be Those Guys, Shawn."
"…by those guys, you mean a clichéd homosexual couple?" Shawn asks, grinning. "Oh, Lassidear, that's not going to happen. Because we're us. And we're real people, not some sort of fictional charactures. I hate opera and I like the house a mess and…oh, but I do love brunch, Lassy. Brunch…brunch is the best thing EVER, it's like the love child of breakfast and lunch and…I could eat brunch foods for every meal." He claps his hands, thinking of pancakes and bacon and pineapple.
"You do eat brunch foods for every meal," Lassiter mutters, and he scribbles on his paperwork, and he sighs. It's not easy for him, brought up the way he was, to deal with any of this. Falling in love with Shawn, that part was almost effortless: moving in with Shawn, that was a big step – and a recent one too! – and how, having pets together, it's almost too much.
"If you don't want to, Lassidear, we don't have to. I'm sorry." Shawn leans forward, slipping off of Lassiter's desk, landing on his feet with a small thudding noise. "I understand if you're not ready, I've just always wanted…never mind, I'll just go say goodbye to Pineapple Cat."
Despite himself, Lassiter finds himself grinning. "You've named it?"
"Her. It's a girl, I checked. And yeah, isn't Pineapple Cat a great name." Shawn looks at Lassiter, and apparently the grin is contagious, because Shawn finds himself smiling too.
"You've got to be in charge of her…cleaning the litter and making sure she has food and water and all that."
"Wait…was that you saying yes?"
"…Yes."
Shawn leans forward, kisses Lassiter very quickly on the lips. "I love you. I totally love you. And so does Pineapple Cat. I just know it."
By the end of the day, four of the five kittens have found new homes: one with chief Vick, naturally, and one with one of the ladies from dispatch. Gus and Juliet took home the grey one – still trying to figure out whose home the kitten would stay at – and, of course, Shawn and his Pineapple Cat.
Buzz picks up the beige striped kitten and kisses the top of its head, right between its kitteny ears. "Looks like it's just you and me, Frankie," he says in a whisper. "Come on, let's go home," and Frankie the cat purrs in agreement.