Notes Written

Disclaimer: Don't own the characters and I only own about two thirds of this fic because a bit of it was written by Silver or Devin, my awesome music buddies (but Devin's a prick... lol).

Summary: Hermione is bored durring History of Magic class. She writes notes to herself for the most part. Is really random and funny.

This is something that got written during my many boring-as-hell math classes and then a bit during music class... lol this is a one-shot because school's over and I have no source of boredom to inspire me to write random things. it takes place during the fifth year but doesn't affect the story at all, so anything learned in OotP can still be in effect, but w/e, this isn't a deep fic. lol newho, enjoy!

'Focus, Hermione,' the sixteen-year-old thought as Professor Binns' voice droned on and on. 'What would Harry and Ron say if they knew you weren't paying attention?' She dipped her quill in the ink and pushed it onto her parchment. 'As long as I'm writing, they can't tell if I'm listening or not, can they? Well, here goes the most interesting note I've ever written in History of Magic class...'

'OK this sucks. Absolutely sucks. History, and we're learning about the Goblin Rebellion. I want out! Somebody, throw in the towel! I wanna stay home and bake cookies with Mummy! I wanna sing and dance with the pineapples and colour outside the lines! I wanna play a rousing game of Exploding Snap, or even learn to fly! I wanna go down to the first floor and play in the foam soap with Moaning Myrtle! Anything but listen to Kreatcher snogging those trousers!'

Harry slid a note over to Hermione's desk. She opened it and read: "Are you OK? Smiling while taking notes isn't normal in this class, even for you..."

"Harry, don't pass notes," Hermione wrote back, before looking at her "notes" for History class.

'Woah, was I high or something for a bit there..? Well, anyway, I just finished a Charms test (in my last class). I hope I pass. I mean, I probably will, right? It's Charms, big deal... Tee hee Roxi makes me feel funny in my pants. Oh man, gotta love Mason, he is so cocky! Wait, why am I thinking about "Dead Like Me"? It's a muggle show, Gods! How did I get on this topic, anyways? Oh, right, because Mason rocks my pineapple! Oh yeah, and Callum Blue rocks my socks in a way not even ketchup can rival!

Oh, Gods! This is soooooo boring! OK, relax, breathe, only an hour left. I must control my boredom!

Oh, ew! Lavender just took off her robes. She isn't allowed to wear that top! What a slag! OK, I'm jealous of her, but come on! Gross! Hmm, I think I'll go swimming at lunch. I'll dive in feet first. Tee hee. I wonder if Harry and Ron wanna come with me or if they'd think missing food is too big a sacrifice? I wouldn't dream of letting them miss food for me, not that they'd ever think about anything other than their stomachs, anyway.

I love sugar cookies!And ketchup! And I am one sexy banana! And my watch makes me dance around with pineapples!

"'You're the worst pirate I've ever heard of.'

'But you have heard of me.'"

OMG that's the greatest muggle movie ever!

OK 40 minutes left of class. I can do this.

Did you hear? Red was attacking blue and now yellow's left defenceless. Poor yellow! Colour scandal! We should support yellow! Let's pool our Hogsmeade money and raise awareness! We can have contests, and the winner can take me home! But wait, what about pink? And green? Call the colour police! (Oh, they put me on hold...)

What could you do with a paintbrush? Could you cut the grass? If I ever go rock-climbing, it'll be in my bed. Those baby asparaguses should come visit me and sunbather... They'd do well with a tan. Because I'm walkin' on sunshine! OHHHH-OHHH-OH! Will you be the cotton in my candy? I'll be the sun in your sundea!

Oh, that was fun. Only 20 more mintues of History class! Ugh, this sucks. I'm bored again. I went swimming on the weekend, did you know? Yeah, it was great, except the marshmallow sandwiches were trying to bite me. But they didn't! Take that, Mr. Spatula! (Where did that come from...?) Soon the cheery cherries will rise from my desk and we will dance in matching green space-panties (if I can find my pair...). Now beg for candy-mercy! Bow down to my pretty ears and worship the posters in my dorm! And PLEASE, turn off the hose before you overflow the pool again! Sweetheart, come back! Oh, class is done now! Bye!'

Harry and Ron were sitting in the common room after dinner, playing chess when Hermione came back from the library. "Hey, Mione!" Harry yelled to her over the noise of the other students. "Can I borrow your notes from History class?"

"Yeah, here, catch!" Hermione shouted to him. She threw the parchment over to him and went up to her dorm.

The next day at breakfast, Harry gave Hermione her parchment back with a big grin plastered on his face.

"What?" Hermione asked.

"This was the best note you've ever taken, Mione."

"What?" Hermione opened the parchment and her face flushed bright red. Harry burst out laughing. At the bottom of the parchment, Harry had written:

"Mione, you are soooo weird! Like, Mr. Spatula? Colour police? That was really messed up. A LOT. I guess this is the inner-workings of your mind? It's scary. Keep it in your mind, you stoner."

During History of Magic class, Hermione pulled out her parchment from yesterday and wrote underneath Harry's writing:

"You prat, I am NOT a stoner, but I may as well be, yeah? Welcome to my mind's inner-workings, now get out and don't come back. Bye!" She slid the note over to Harry.

Harry answered: "Sorry, I can't leave. I'm trapped in here with the spatula. All of the feelings of hate should be love. You're abusive, you know that?"

"OK that hate should NOT be love, sorry, but I'm just not into you. I can't attack the purple mushrooms (who, by the way, are getting pretty "friendly" with the tomatoes) and I'm not abusive, you deserve everything you get. Anywho, here ya go!"

"Should we let Ron read this or leave him out? He'd find this funny, you know. He thinks you're messed up. You purple mushroom-lover."

"What? I am NOT! (who told you...?) Anywho, yeah Ron can read it. But be careful because that could break the gentle balance between good and evil. Like, red against blue; water against dirt. Anywho..."

"Wait, who's good and who's evil? And you are a little cry-baby.

"Harry, you're a lil miss cry-baby. Pineapple! Mistress Cry-Baby! Wait, then who's your Master? Better yet, who's MY Master, and where's the pancake I was promised?"

"Guess who Dean an I rotte a sing yeahhhhhh i built a zen garrdenn. Ha ha Ron."

"OK I didn't understand any of that."

"Neither did I, and why are you guys laughing at me?" Ron wrote after reading the parchment that Hermione had stuffed under his nose.

"Uhh I dunno, Harry is... And Ron, it's Olive Juice."

"So Harry, I hear Professor Snape fancies you."

"EWWWW! Just think, what will the children look like?"

"AHHHHHHH! and so on and so forth. You guys are both messed up, so to speak."

"OK I know I'm messed up but at least I'm not a stoner (yet... tee hee Fight the Penguin Lust!) Hey guys, class is almost over!"

"Oh yeah. Bye Mione. See you in Transfiguration."

"Yeah, see ya, Olive Juice."

Hermione put the parchment back in her bag, and when the bell rang a few seconds later, she hurried off to Arithmancy while Harry and Ron trooped up to Divination.

OK I know that was really messed up, but I was bored and all... lol in case you couldn't tell, words like this were Hermione, words like this were Harry and words like this were Ron. lol newho, this story wasn't supposed to have a plot, it was just what me (Mione), Devin (Harry) and Silver (Ron) wrote back and forth one music class... lol and the bit before when it was Mione taking notes was me in math/french/music/geography classes when i got bored... newho...

Thnx Tori for beta-reading this. Yeah, they're ALL a tad OOC... lol but how do u know Mione would never think that? lol sry... ur probably right... as per usual. ;) newho, leave a review please!

Dancing with Pineapples,
Jibs