Authors Note: Wrin and I had the idea to start making puns off the story, but didn't want to ruin the flow of Left 2 Die's publication. Therefore, I'm putting all these mini-stories in a different place. Left 2 Die can be found here:
.net/s/4875201/1/Left_2_Die
Please do not send any hate mail/PMs/Reviews – this is once again for my entertainment and to better my skills.
Just a note as well: The zombie infection is in both stories, however there will be no serious moments in this story. This is Left 2 Die Bloopers and nothin' else.
I DO NOT OWN LEFT 4 DEAD
"Damnit Viz! You messed up again!" Trixie slammed her script down on the arm of her chair, taking a sip of her coffee. Viz turned in her chair. She was currently pushing a chair against the bathroom door, keeping it closed against an invisible horde of air.
"What the hell did I do this time?!" Viz screamed, standing up to put her hands on her hips. Trixie was half the building away from everyone, so yelling was the only way to converse.
"You fucking opened the door!" Trixie got up, adjusting her veil. Trixie was the infamous Wedding Witch. Her bright orange eyes glowed behind the veil she kept in front of her face at all times. She kept her claws filed down most of the time, but was currently in the process of growing them out again for her debut at the gas station.
"FUCK! SORRY!" Viz screamed back. Vizzera was drenched from head to toe in water, her hair still had some of the 'boomer vomit' from earlier today, but the green watery oatmeal was still clinging stubbornly to her hair. Brushing that mess was going to be fun.
Wrin stood behind Viz, holding a hand up to her mouth as she giggled. The smaller woman wore a black jacket, with black jeans and a pair of sneakers. She had dumped her backpack when Trixie screamed, so it was on the floor soaking up water.
"Wrin! Pick up your backpack!" Trixie called over as she got up, discarding her coffee for one of the aids to pick up as she got closer. Trixie may have been a smaller woman, even compared to Wrin, but she was a demon to deal with. She sat on the floor infront of the current set, sitting like a predictable witch would, leaning forward to read the script she had dropped on the ground infront of her. The way Trixie acted, anyone could have said she wanted to be feared as a witch, and not just a normal infected who could distinguish friend from foe.
Wrin put her backpack back on as Trixie called for them to start over. Viz moaned something about swirlies as she pushed the chair back to its original position. Wrin started doing the chicken dance as she waited for Viz to get back into position with her head in the toilet. Trixie called for places, before activating the cameras again. Viz flushed the toilet, but burst out laughing as the water played with her hair. Every once in five shots would they get Viz to shut up long enough to get further than the swirlie scene. Wrin gave up and shoved her head further into the toilet.
"WHAT DO WE DO?!" Viz shrieked, as she stared at the hunter in front of her. Wrin opened the classroom door nearest them, after making sure no one was inside, she then grabbed the hunter's left wrist. Viz jumped off the hunter, tripping over its body, and landing face first unto the brick floor.
"Ah dangit." Viz groaned as Wrin let go of the hunter's wrist. The hunter sat up, laughing her growling hiss of a hunter laugh. Trixie signed as she face-palmed.
"Viz, you're a clutz." The hunter helped Viz up as she laughed.
"Thanks Rina, I love to know the obvious" Viz pouted. She didn't really enjoy being mocked, but she was a good target for most of the crew. Rina was a hunter when she died, she'd started wearing a suit after she died, finding that it made her position easier to deal with. Because both of Rina's eyes had been clawed out after she turned, so she was wearing a blindfold to keep from freaking out the only two humans on set at the moment. Her long light brown hair was in a loose bun, usually it was tightened, but to keep her position as the rabid hunter, she had to loosen it considerably. Rina flexed her claws as she walked back to her starting position.
"Rina! I'm getting hungry don't trip Viz again!" Dr. Ulzubek, the huge boomer with a purple hat, hollared before he had to turn around and vomit out the window. He couldn't talk anymore after he turned, not unless he could find a convenient bucket, toilet, or window to vomit into. Viz ran over and poked the Dr's belly. He laughed, some residual vomit bubbling out of his mouth and unto his stomach.
"No hungry! You need to lose some weight mister!" Viz used her tiny-voice. A high picked squeak that made the infected wince. Only Trixie and Dr. Ulzubek could stand it as far as they've found out.
"Viz! What did I tell you about using that voice? Get back on set!" Trixie called as one of her aids fell over twitching, a small bubble of blood dripping out of its ear. "You've got a mess to clean up after that little voice incident!"
"Sorry!" Viz called as she dragged the infected out of Trixie's way before jumping back on stage.
"So I'm supposed to give beer to two underage kids?" Fly was sitting on the couch in the lounge. Trixie shrugged, scratching her claws into a huge cat-scratching post that had been put into the room for her claws.
"Its a zombie apocalypse, its either give the kids beer or we send you to fend for yourself against my brothers." Trixie grinned, turning to Fly as she scratched her claws against the post noisily. Fly grimaced as the squeak of claws on wood entered his ears.
"Oh no no no I'll go ahead and do this..just, keep your brothers off me. I don't want to be tank-meat anytime soon." Fly curled up in his chair, cowering as far from the witch director as he possibly could. Trixie grinned as Wrin walked into the room, grabbing a cup to fill up at the water cooler.
"Wrin m'dear, don't drink too much, you've got beer to consume later." Trixie said as she washed her claws in the sink, peeling some splinters off her fingers. Wrin nodded as she took a sip of her water.
"Trixie, what's going to happen to Fly's character?" Wrin asked, turning to Trixie as she dried her hands on her dress.
"I'm going to kill the character myself, why?" Trixie walked past Wrin and sat next to Fly, who was still obviously not used to being around friendly-esque infected. He winced and tried to crawl into the corner as she crossed her legs.
"Can we get him to try to make you smile? It'd work well with our bets." Wrin pointed out as she sipped her drink again. Trixie put her claw to her chin for a moment before nodding and giving Wrin the 'claws up.'
"FUUUCKKK" The sound of a screaming woman from the other side of the building. Groaning, Wrin put her cup down, heading out the room. She didn't have to walk far, she found Viz dangling upside down from a smoker's tongue. One of the writers had caught her stealing skittles from the fridge again, and was pulling a prank on her this time.
"You know, I'm not letting you down this time." Wrin grinned, the smoker on the stairs grinned as best he could and gave Wrin another 'claws up.' "I'm on a roll" she whispered as she turned and left Viz to dangle.