An Evening With Yoda
Note: Yoda is interviewed on Late Night With David Letterman. With regards to Lucas, SW fans and everyone—no flames ! This is done in love and for fun !
Journal Entry The First
I find myself located on a strange blue marble called Earth. Scheduled was I to be part of something Earthlings call a "talk show". I was to meet the famous Earthling David Letterman who was going to interview me. Why he wanted to interview me and for what purpose, I was not sure, but I wasn't going to disappoint him. Little did I know that I had what is known as a "fan base". To that kind of attention I was not used, but I would adapt quickly to the peculiar human environment and make certain that a smile to everyone's face I could bring.
Journal Entry The Second
The next day I arrived to Earth I was escorted to a primitive mode of transport Earthlings called a taxicab. Despite its puny size, it could travel quite fast and in no time I had arrived with my escorts to the show that Mr. Letterman was taping. It was not yet my time to walk out on stage, but I had already gotten a taste of just how strange and wonderful the place called New York City was. Unlike some of the humans on the road, I found myself observing and enjoying everything I saw. Before I knew it I was in Mr. Letterman's studio and I had met people Earthlings called "celebrities". Many of them were also part of my "fan base". As I have stated before, this sort of attention was a little overwhelming at times but I was pleased to be among so many that were passionate about the ways of the Jedi and the Force.
Mr. Letterman asked me so many questions in such a rapid fashion but I had no trouble answering each and every question that was given to me. I explained how the lightsabre worked as well as the concept of hyperdrive and also what "midicholorians" were. He then asked me if such technology like the hyperdrive, lightsabres or super sonic blasters would be possible on the planet Earth. I was certain that such things could be accomplished, although I wasn't certain when they would come to be. But I could see these things happening for all of the people of Earth.
The loveliest species of the female variety were among me on Mr. Letterman's guests and for some reason the women seem to love me. I of course, had to turn many a pretty lady down and I did so with tact and grace. The ladies weren't too disappointed, because once they heard about my age; they seemed to be in a great hurry to live the studio. I suppose what "they" say about age…it really does matter. But, in my case, it matters not.
At the end of the interview, Mr. Letterman, who preferred for me to call him "Dave" out of familiarity, invited me to dinner. Expecting an encounter at a fine dinner, I was not, but I did not turn down the opportunity at all. The two of us dined on cuisine that was unfamiliar to myself but the experience was one I would not forget. David was different off stage than in the diner. He had dropped the whole comedic act, which I knew was all for show anyway and talked to me about what I was going to do with my life since the Star Wars films had been made. I was still living in Dagobah and I would live the rest of my years there. Of course, I taught younglings and joined the Jedi Council for meetings now and then but David found this all fascinating. It was something he only thought existed in the mind of George Lucas, whom received his inspiration from legends that were much like the ones spread throughout many galaxies and happened to fall upon Earthling ears.
Journal Entry The Third
After spending some time in the city also known as "The Big Apple", I learned many things about the country known as the United States of America. I wanted to take a tour around the blue marble, Earth, but I knew I did not have time at this point in my stay here. So, I took what little I had carried and joined my escorts to return to the taxicab that would take me to the spaceship I had traveled in.
I slept all the way back to Dagobah where I was met by both friends old and new. I had not realized that it was my 300th birthday and everyone was there to give me a surprise. There were plenty of refreshments to go around and presents. The presents were all practical ones that could be used in life every day and I was thankful for them although I wasn't the type that really needed presents. At the end of the day, nightfall came and I bid my guests adieu.
Journal Entry The Fourth
The day came to a close and I quickly cleaned up the small clutter that had been left behind after the celebration. All was quiet on my home planet, save for the quiet chirping of the creatures of the night in the forest. I yawned loudly, stretching out my weary bones. However, I was pleased that what I felt was only tiredness and not the onset of "old age". I was 300 today but I still had a lot of vitality left in my body. I knew I had many more good years left and would be giving interviews and teaching for a long time. I would never forget the experiences I had enjoyed and the things I had learned. In time I would travel back to Earth and visit once more to travel the blue marble. As long as I could give hope to so many and bring happiness to the galaxy that was all that really mattered.
Master Yoda, Jedi, Councilor, Mentor and Friend
(July 12, 2005)