Chapter One
A Hero's Shame
Kara sat at her desk, nervously bouncing her right leg up and down. Working at CATCO was never going to be the same again, and she had no idea how to handle it. She hadn't seen her boss since the night before, when she was ultimately forced to expose her biggest secret. Having rushed off to tend to her super duties, she had never gotten the chance to speak with the woman about it. So, there she sat, dreading the sound of the elevator doors.
It wasn't simply the fact that she had exposed her identity, it was who she had exposed it to. It was the way Cat looked at her the moment she had removed her glasses. The way she spoke the name, Supergirl. There was an invisible fog clouding the whole occurrence that was weighing on Kara in a way that she couldn't even explain to herself.
"Kara," said Winn, who was seated at his own desk. She glanced his way, and smiled nervously."What happened last night, did you take out crazy Uncle Non and his minions?"
She couldn't help but be amused by Winn's childlike sense of excitement. She understood that he was asking out of concern, however, the excitement was there."No," she answered, a hint of shame in her tone."He got away from me."
"So, what now, what do we do?"
"Alex thinks that maybe-" She cut herself short, when she heard Cat's voice echoing inside of her head.
"Why did I get out of bed this morning?"
Kara was on her feet."She's here."
"Oh, good news", said Winn, sarcastically, as he stood up.
The minute elevator doors were open, Cat locked eyes with Kara, but only for a moment. She stepped lively into the room, and headed for her office.
"Good morning, Miss Grant,", greeted Kara, as she always did.
"You cannot even begin to comprehend how horribly my morning has been, Keira. It's far from good, but two points for effort." She breezed into her office, closing the nearly clear doors behind her.
"Whoa, she gave you two points this time", laughed Winn."Usually it's only half of one point, you must have done something to get on her good side."
She gave him a small smile."Yeah, I guess I must have." Kara was happy that Cat had maintained her usual attitude towards her outside of her office, but she was nervous. After all, she did still have to go inside of her office, and after she stepped foot inside, all bets were off. Things were about to get extremely awkward. She took a deep, and very shaky breath, before moving forward. She entered the office, looking down."Miss Grant, is there anything that I can do for you right now?" She stopped in the middle of the room, still looking down to her feet.
"Yes, there is something, as a matter of fact," the older woman answered."Look at me." It wasn't so much a demand as it was a desperate request. She'd surprised herself with her tone and behavior in that the younger woman finally met her gaze, her heart started beat instantly sped up. She didn't even see the glasses anymore.
Kara wanted to look away, but she was having a hard time doing so. Her boss was looking at her the exact same way she had the night before. As if she was seeing her for who she truly was, for the first time."Miss Grant….obviously we have to talk about this."
Cat snapped out of whatever daze she was in, and cleared her throat."You mean talk about the fact that I was right? About how I figured you out?" She was clearly proud of herself, and always would be.
"I knew you'd be smug about it", smiled Kara, rolling her eyes.
"Of course you did, you know me so well", she smirked."Look, I already know what you're going to say." She took a seat at her desk."I'm not dense, I would never expose you to anybody else." Kara breathed a huge sigh of relief."Did you honestly think that I would do that to you?"
"I didn't know what to think. I still don't. Not that I'm doubting you, because I'm not. It's just, too many people know already." Out of habit, she adjusted her glasses.
Cat let out a small, breathy laugh, before leaning back in her chair."I'm sorry, that adorable thing you do with your glasses is just amusing to me at this point." She hadn't even realized that she used the word adorable.
The younger woman had heard it, but kept herself from reacting to it. She was also so suddenly fired up, that she shocked herself. She walked up to the desk, and removed her glasses."Is this better?" She was a little frustrated. Sure, they were a simple pair of glasses, but they served as her mask.
The Boss' smug smile faded, as she looked up."Alright, so you're upset."
"Excuse me if I sound rude, but is this the only way you'll take me seriously? Without my glasses? That stings a little, especially coming from a woman who has least four different pairs of glasses on her desk at all times."
"Why in the Hell would you think something like that?"
"Oh, come on!" She hadn't meant to say it so loudly, but she had, and needed to pull her emotions back. The glasses were back on her face in record speed. She looked outside of the office. A few people were looking inside, and she was instantly mad at herself. There she was, sick with worry about being exposed, and she wasn't able to control her own emotions. She sighed, and took a seat on the couch."Miss Grant…"
"You know, you could very easily call me the biggest bitch in the world right now, and get away with it. Scott free, because you're...who you are. Yet, you choose to continue calling me Miss Grant. You know how much I respect you, so firing you is out of the question. I guess I could be surprised that you're not taking advantage of that. Only, I'm not."
Kara nodded."That's exactly why I'm scared about you taking me seriously. Clearly, our relationship will never be the same. Even though you're still my boss….there is no way it will be the same. That freaks me out." She sounded and looked genuinely sad, and Cat didn't like it.
"Why don't you tell me exactly why that….freaks you out."
She couldn't help but look to her lap."It's just...it kind of seemed like you were finally starting to have faith in me. Not in as...who I am but...me as in, Kara. You've….treated me a certain way for so long, and it meant a lot to me that you were...acting different towards me. Now, all of that just goes away, all because you know who I really am." She was almost in tears, but refused to let them fall."I'm sorry, it's just...things are going to change now...and that was one of the things that I really didn't want to change."
"Well, I didn't realize that you felt that way." She herself, was feeling a little relieved, but she did feel bad for the younger woman."It doesn't necessarily have to change, we can try to…."
"See", asked Kara."You can't finish that thought, because you know that it's out of our control. It's different now, and there isn't anything either of us can do about it."
Cat was about to say something else, but her phone started to ring."Damn it", she said, looking at it."I should take this…"
Kara nodded frantically, and stood up."I agree, Miss Grant, you should take your call. I'll get back to work." Without waiting for a response, she hurried from the office, but she didn't stop at her desk. She kept right on moving.
"Um...Kara", asked a very confused Winn."You okay?"
"Fine", she lied, not bothering to stop."Just really need to use the ladies room." Only, she didn't go anywhere near the bathroom. She headed straight for the secret headquarters that she shared with her two friends. Once she was inside of the room, she closed the door, leaned up against it, and sank to the ground. She let her tears fall, and sobbed uncontrollably. She hadn't said everything that she wanted to say to Cat, but in a way she was happy about it. If she would have said it all, she would have lost it, and that wasn't an option. It couldn't be. She didn't fully understand why, but she knew it wouldn't have been a good situation. She wanted to be strong in that moment, but couldn't, which was frustrating to her, considering that she was quite literally one of the strongest women in the world. Being Supergirl, meant that she, for the most part, didn't feel physical pain, but it didn't help with the emotional pain ripping through her. There was no cape in the world that could protect her from that.
It took her roughly ten minutes to cry through her frustration, and calm herself down. She was about to stand up, and get back to work, when she heard somebody unlocking the door. She was on her feet, and opening the door, before whoever it was could open it."Kara, damn…", said James."You scared me."
"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to," she said, walking further into the room, so that she could quickly compose herself.
Once inside, James closed the door, and looked at her, suspiciously."Are you alright?"
"I'm fine," she smiled.
"No, that's a lie. What's going on", he asked, with genuine concern. She just shook her head, and smiled, silently repeating her last statement."Kara, you're in here alone, I can read you like a book. Something is wrong, and you know that I know it. You look like you've been crying, so just tell me what's up."
She hated it, but the man was right. He absolutely knew how to read her. James was a friend that she could be open with, but she wasn't sure where the line should be drawn. She hadn't decided if she wanted to tell James and Winn that Cat found her out. Before she could say a word, the door swung open, and Winn was rushing into the room.
"We have a situation," he said, out of breath, as he hurried over to their makeshift, high tech monitoring station. He flicked on one of the screens, and found what he was looking for. A live news broadcast. The anchor woman was talking, while footage of a random person on the roof of a thirty story building in was being shown.
"It isn't clear just how long this girl has been on the roof of the building, but her intentions seem fairly clear. She's distraught, and it appears that unless somebody intervenes, the girl will jump to her death."
"Oh my God", said Kara, removing her glasses.
"You should-" Before James could finish his sentence, Kara was practically out the door.
Minutes later, she was flying towards the building, dodging a couple of news helicopters, and finally coming to a halt. She looked, and saw a younger looking, African American girl standing dangerously close to the edge of the roof. She was in tears, and seemed to be rather nervous. Kara zoomed over, and hovered a few feet in front of her."Hey, everything will be alright." The girl looked up, but she didn't say a word, she just sniffled, and wiped some tears away."I don't know what you're going through, I'm sure you feel like not one person in this world does...but you can't do this, I won't let you." The girl's next move, confused Kara. She pulled her arms inside of her hoodie sleeves and started to fidget around. Her movements were dangerous, considering where she was standing."You have to stop doing whatever it is that you're doing, you'll fall."
"Don't save me," said the girl. She was stern, yet desperate.
Kara wanted to simply swoop down, scoop the girl up, and carry her to safety, but she restrained herself. This wasn't a situation that she was familiar with. She wanted to try and do what she thought was right, and reason with the girl."If you jump, I won't let you hit the ground, you have to know that. Why don't you back away from the edge, and talk to me, alright?" She was forceful, but gentle."Will you tell me your name?"
"Don't save me," the girl repeated, still fidgeting under her hoodie. There was loud buzzing noise, and the girl cried out in pain, before saying it again."Don't save me!"
"Be careful", shouted Kara, floating forwards a bit."Stop moving! I'm going to help you, but you should stay still. I know that you don't want to be saved, but that's not an option for me. It's my job to protect you, and that's exactly what I'm going to do."
"No,", cried the girl, before the buzzing noise sounded again, and she cried out."Damn it, just get out of here, don't save me!" She cried out again, as she seemingly accomplished whatever it was that she was doing under her hoodie. The action caused her to lose her balance, and fall. Without any hesitations, Kara was zooming down, and caught the girl from behind, holding her in her arms and flying back towards the top of the building. The girl squirmed within the grasp, and cried."No put me down! It's a tra-" She was cut off by an electrical shock and moved through her, and Kara, causing them both to scream. Kara faltered, as she neared the rooftop, but she didn't fall. She panicked a little when she found herself feeling slightly weaker. She was having trouble controlling her flying and feeling light headed. She thought fast, and curled her body into a ball, protecting the girl from what was about to happen. She focused on a door, that looked like it led to a stairwell, and braced herself for impact.
Seconds later, her body slammed into the heavy door, ripping it from the hinges, and sending the two of them into the stairwell. They rolled a few times before Kara's body hit a cement wall, effectively stopping the tumble. She landed on her back, and groaned loudly. She was feeling pain, actual physical pain, and was instantly worried. It didn't stop her however. She forced herself to sit up, and looked around. She glanced through the dust and cement particles floating through the air, and spotted the girl. She had landed on the platform below Kara, and was unzipping her black hoodie. It didn't seem to matter that she was in pain, coughing, and groaning, she continued her actions."Are you alright", Kara called out."Don't move, I'm going to help you!" Her words were ignored, the girl ripped her hoodie off, and as Kara crawled towards her, she saw something that she never in a million years expected to see. The girl lifted her t-shirt, exposing her torso, and grabbing onto some kind of electric box that seemed to be embedded into her body. It was protruding from ripped flesh and blood, and glowing green liquid was leaking from it."What the…"
"You have to get out of here, now", the girl cried, before grabbing a small, bloody knife, and ripping the metallic box from her flesh, and letting out a blood curdling scream. She used whatever strength that she had left to throw the box down the stairs leading to the next landing below."Get out of here now! Before it's too late! Please go!"
Kara wanted to protest, but she felt herself getting weaker, and was starting to think that listening to this girl was for the best. It took everything she had just to stand to her feet. She looked down at the girl, who was using both hands to cover the spot she hand ripped the box from. There was traces of the neon green liquid flowing down the girls ebony skin, and soaking into her dark gray leggings."Oh my God, is that…."
"It's Kryptonite" she cried."Get out of here….please! Please!" She was crying so hard, and the desperation in her voice told Kara, that she needed to go. It was one of the biggest conflicts she'd ever faced since she'd started using her powers to help the greater good. Her being Supergirl was killing at the moment, because she wanted and needed to do anything she could to save this girl. Her being Kara was the conflict because logic was screaming that this girl was right, and that she needed to get as far away as possible. She stood, bent over, in pain, just starting down at the girl.
Kara closed her eyes, and took a couple steps forward, but stopped when she felt a sharp pain make it's way through her whole body. She was getting weaker. Tears streamed down her face, as she opened her eyes again, and looked at the girl."I am so sorry."
"I understand….go!"
Without anymore hesitation, Kara ignored her inner hero, took every ounce of strength that she had left, and flew from the stairwell. She propelled outside, and towards her apartment building as fast as she could. When she reached the window of her apartment, she practically fell inside, onto the floor. The impact felt like she was being slamming into the concrete wall all over again. She groaned through her tears, and rolled onto her back. She knew her powers weren't completely drained, but she felt so helpless. Not to mention, ashamed.
After a while she found herself at DEO headquarters, laying on a long metal table. Her sister was hovering over her."Your powers aren't gone, but they aren't fully functional either."
"Great," she whined.
"Don't worry, you weren't heavily exposed the Kryptonite, you'll be at the top of your game within the next couple of hours," her sister reassured.
"There was something so off about that situation, Alex. I need to find out what happened to that girl." Her sister gave her a look. One that was all too familiar."You know what happened to her?"
A couple minutes, the sisters and Hank were standing in front of an isolation chamber. The girl in question, was laying inside of it, unconscious. She was all bandaged up, and it was actually making Kara somewhat sad.
Hank tapped the glass with his finger."This is Shadow Steel. The daughter of a former DEO agent."
"Wait, what?"
Alex handed her sister an open file folder."Dante Steel."
As Kara looked at the man's photo, and information, Hank did what he always did.
He kept talking.
"Dante was one of the best agents the DEO had ever had, but unfortunately, turned against us. Now, he is considered an enemy. A dangerous one."
"What made him turn on you?"
"You did", said Hank, earning a look of confusion."He thought that me letting you work with us was going against what the DEO stands for. I made it clear that it wasn't going to change. He made several threats, stole some equipment from the lab, and vanished."
"So, this whole thing today was this man trying to take me down", she asked, walking over to the chamber.
Alex followed her, and looked in at the girl."She had a multi-purpose mechanism brick embedded into her, that's where the Kryptonite was leaking from. It's Dante's work for sure, the man is a genius."
Things were starting to fall into place for the Hero."So that's what she cut it out of herself."
"She cut it out", asked Alex in shock."Kara, we assumed that her body rejected it."
She shook her head."No, she started to cut it out the minute I got there. Didn't you find a knife?"
"You need to tell us exactly what happened up there", said Hank, walking over examine the cube again.
"When I got there, she panicked, she was upset that I showed up, and struggling under her sweatshirt. I was trying to calm her down, but….I've never dealt with a jumper before. She told me not to save her, she repeated it over and over again….and I think the brick was shocking her…", the wheels were turning in her head as she recalled everything."It was, because it shocked me too when I caught her, and it hurt….a lot, that's when I started getting weaker."
"She told you not to save her?"
"Yes. After we were down, I saw her dig that thing out and throw it, that's when I knew why she was so adamant about getting me out there. I told her that I was sorry, and she said that she understood." She looked to the ground."I can't believe that I did that."
"That changes so much," breathed Alex."She isn't an enemy."
Hank, who had been studying the brick, set down some random tool, and pulled up a diagram on one of the computer monitors."There's a chip inside of the brick there that sends pulses of electricity. There's another chip that was rigged to set this thing off."
"Set it off," asked the older sister.
"The brick was set to blow up, but she must have disabled it...either when she cut it out, or when she threw it."
"She was bait", said Kara."How old is she?"
"Fifteen," answered Alex, cautiously, know how her sister would react.
"Let me get this straight. This man put a Kryptonite bomb inside of his fifteen year old daughter, to lure me out? He would have blown her up, because of me?"
"If she was being shocked, it was probably because she was trying to warn you. Which means, Dante was watching from a different location."
"There was an earpiece found at the scene, it was destroyed", confirmed Alex. She looked at her sister, and knew exactly what she was thinking."Kara, this isn't your fault."
"Don't tell me that it's not my fault", she snapped."This girl almost died because of me!"
"No", said Hank, sternly."She almost died because her unstable, cold hearted bastard of a Father put her in danger. That is why she almost died. You are the reason that she didn't."
Kara just shook her head. She was so unhappy with herself."Look, you should go back to work. We don't have all the facts, and we won't really know anything else until she wakes up."
"Alex, I need to talk to this girl."
"I know that, and you can, but it might be a while. So, just go back to work. I promise as soon as we know something, I will call you."
Once she was back at CATCO, she threw herself into work. She had to otherwise, she knew she'd fall apart. She was emotionally exhausted, so talking to Cat about her exposure was out. It was obvious that Cat was avoiding the conversation as well. The two of them just went about their day as if nothing had ever happened.
During lunch, Kara told Winn and James everything that had happened. Her mood made more sense to them after they heard the story. The two men, being the friends they were, made it known that they were there if she needed them. The truth was, she didn't feel like talking about it anymore. She didn't want to talk to anybody about anything for the rest of the day. Luckily there hadn't been any more incidents in between Shadow Steel and her going home that evening.
Being at home was something Kara was appreciating more and more. Not that she didn't love protecting National City, but it made her downtime much more precious to her. The hot shower she took relaxed her, and she was on her way to feeling less stressed out. She was wrapped in a towel, about to blow dry her hair, when there was a knock on the door."Of course", she laughed to herself."Because why wouldn't somebody decide to visit before I can get dressed." She walked out of the bathroom, and used her x-ray vision to see who the visitor was."What the…" She hurried over to the door."Miss Grant?"
"How did you...wait a minute, are you screening who comes to your door?"
"Well, I mean….wouldn't you if you could", Kara asked, nervously.
"I suppose I would, yes. Now, are you going to let me in, or not?"
"Oh! Yes, of course!" She opened the door, and let Cat step inside.
"I see I got you at a bad time, I apologize for that."
"It's alright," she smiled, clenching her towel to her chest."No disrespect, but….what are you doing here?"
"You didn't answer my calls, or my messages. I was worried," she said, as she glanced around the apartment."Aside from that, dancing around what happened last night...it needs to stop," she said, her eyes landed on Kara. "We need to talk about how we're going to deal with this."
Kara nodded, and smiled a little." I wholeheartedly agree, Miss Grant. I will go get dressed." She a couple steps forward, not realizing that the bottom corner of her towel had gotten caught in the door when she closed it. The fluffy, white material hit the door, and Kara gasped. Cat's jaw dropped."Oh my God, I am so sorry!" She reached down, ripped the towel from the door, and wrapped herself up as fast as she could."Oh my God, okay….that did not just happen. I'll be back. Oh my God." She was hurrying towards her bedroom, leaving a wide eyed Cat behind.
"Well, I suppose now there's nothing left to be revealed."