PROBLEM AND SOLUTION
Author: donnatellaMarks
Pairing/Characters: Kim, Robbie, Kimbie
Timeline: Think way into the future. But still high school. Robbie is say, 16, Kim, 18.
Rating: Light R. I would rate it PG-13, but then a few people will probably yell at me.
Summary: A problem and a solution. Not happy, not fun. Possibly disturbing themes.
Disclaimer: I don't own them, and I doubt the creators would approve of what I'm doing to them.
Warning: Okay this may disturb some people. Please don't say you weren't warned. Abortion, teenage sex and pregnancy.
Summary: A problem and a solution. Not happy, not fun. Possibly disturbing themes
**
The room could have frozen as soon as she said those few words.
"This can't be happening," he sighed, his back sliding down the wall. He came to rest in a seated position, his head between his knees. He breathed slowly, purposefully. He felt if he didn't tell himself to breathe, he wouldn't.
Breathe.
Come on, McGrath. You can do this.
In.
Out.
In.
Out.
Breathe.
"Well, it is, damnit. It's REAL! This is actually happening!" she snapped, almost yelling at him. She ran a shaking hand through her hair. "It's real," she said again, more quietly, sighing heavily.
"H-How?" he stuttered, his voice quaking.
She raised an eyebrow.
He relented. "Okay, okay. I know how, but…how?"
She raised the same cool eyebrow.
"Damnit Kim. Why us? Why now?" Robert McGrath asked her desperately, as if it would suddenly be untrue if he wished it hard enough.
Kim Carlisle joined him on the floor. She mimicked his position, her knees digging into her chin. She leaned on Robbie's side, burrowing her face into his shoulder.
"I don't know, Robbie. I just… I just don't know." Kim was despondent, struggling not to cry but failing miserably. Why did this happen to her, of all people? Why her? Why? Maybe God was punishing her.
She snorted. She couldn't believe she just thought that.
This was biological chance, nothing more. This sucked, to be sure, but it was of her own doing. Well, partly her own doing. It's not like this could have happened had Robbie not been involved.
"What's so funny?" Robbie asked, looking at her strangely.
Kim looked at him and stood up quickly, the blood rushing to her head, making her blissfully dizzy. She welcomed the dizziness. Maybe, if she was lucky, she'd fall unconscious. She laughed insanely, taking his hand and pulling him up with her.
"What's so funny?" Robbie demanded, irate. He certainly didn't see anything funny about the situation. Nope. Nothing at all.
She grabbed the glass flower vase by the side of the bed, taking it into her arms. "Don't you see?" she cried, "Everything! This whole fucking world!" She threw the vase against the wall, and it shattered into a million tiny glass stars that she knew they would be picking out of the carpet even weeks after.
She sat down on the bed, all the manic energy coming out of her like air from a balloon.
Robbie approached her cautiously. She lay face down on the bed now, curled up into herself, shaking as if she was in Antarctica and had no coat. It wasn't cold in this room, however.
He sat down next to her and rubbed her back. His hand traced the curve of her body softly, comforting her.
A muffled voice spoke out from the pillow, "I want to go home," she said pitifully.
"You are home, Kim," Robbie said easily.
"You know what I mean," she said, voice still distorted from mouthfuls of pillow.
He did.
"Yeah. I do."
She wanted to go home. To be in a place where she was taken care of, where she didn't have to worry about school or him or home pregnancy tests that produced two pink lines or doctors who confirmed them.
He lay with her, in a bed he had stayed in many a time. Perhaps too many a time. What was done, was done. Nothing he could fix now. He lay next to her, not touching, not really sure she would appreciate it.
He held her hand, squeezed it tightly, and she grasped back as if it was the only thing keeping her alive.
*
He held her hand, squeezed it tightly, and she grasped back as if it was the only thing keeping her alive.
He had known from the minute he had found out that this is what it would come too. It's not like he had a choice, or a problem with it, anyway. This was just how it was, and he knew it. What's the point in fighting? What's the point in questioning when you already knew the answers?
They had traveled a while to get here, in Kim's car. Kim laughed mirthfully the entire trip down, saying she should have picked an older boyfriend. One who could at least drive her to an abortion clinic.
"I'll keep this in mind for any future boyfriend attempts."
Robbie had frowned at her, but he knew she was trying to get through this. If she had to rag on him, she should be able to. After all, this was his fault. Sort of. Even though they agreed that they should just shut up and say it was both of their responsibilities, neither really believed it.
Well, thought Robbie, this shouldn't have happened. They had been careful, paranoid even. Well, the paranoid part was Kim. Not once had they slipped up. Seems either Robbie was the most virile guy in the world, or something must have gone wrong. And as much as he liked to think the former was true…
Kim's fingernails were digging into the skin of his palm, threatening to draw blood.
"So, this is it," he said, gazing at the posters about fetal development and pictures pregnant women on the door. She looked around as well, as if the walls were suddenly very fascinating.
"Yeah," she said shortly. "Guess so."
He turned to her, and she turned away, and they both thought the same thing.
Why us. Why now.
But neither really felt like taking the time to think about the answer.
The nurse peeked her head into the room, telling them the doctor was on his way in.
Kim turned to Robbie. "Can you, uh…" She looked at him, pleading, willing him to go.
He made it easy for her, reading the look of abject fear in her face. She was scared, and he knew it. Still, she wouldn't let him stay.
"You want me to wait outside?" he asked.
She nodded meekly, and he acquiesced, ducking out of the room, with only the shortest lingering glance. Sure, he wished he could be there for her. But not for this. Kim dealt with this stuff on her own. Kim was Kim. Kim Carlisle. Iron woman with an iron will. She had to do this by herself.
She wasn't going to let Robbie take care of her.
*
She wasn't going to let Robbie take care of her.
She shook off his hand, but he glared at her, and she hesitantly allowed his hand to slip into hers.
"I left you alone in there. You will hold my hand. And I will drive. As much as you make fun of me, I do have a license."
She glared at him, "Yeah, yeah." She waved him off with her other hand, as her right one was firmly ensconced in Robbie's firm grasp.
"So…" Robbie made an attempt at conversation.
"So…" Kim mimicked.
They were silent when they reached the car, Kim flinching in occasional pain. He helped her into the gray Volvo, gingerly buckling her seatbelt and shutting her door. He came to the driver's side, and he buckled his own seatbelt.
He sighed and looked at Kim, who was fast falling asleep.
He turned the keys, and the car roared to life.
He pulled out, turned the corner, and tried as best he could to not look back.
**
I'll try hard not to pretend
allow myself no mock defense
as I step into the night.
-The Shins, Saint Simon
**
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