** Hello all, this is a short one-shot I found in a file on my computer that I had completely forgotten about writing. I hope you all enjoy! All recognisable characters belong to the talented S. Meyer. Read and Review!
8 Years.
It seemed like such a long time, and yet, I was still so young when you thought of my age in comparison to everyone around me, everyone I loved.
"Ness?" My father looked at me worriedly and I smiled a small tight smile back at him as I set my book down on the table and cleared my throat. I knew that he wanted to know what was bothering me, but I didn't know quite how to articulate my thoughts my feelings.
"Dad… I…" I choked on the words; still not entirely clear and feeling far too confused myself. It was why I had used my ability to pull my thoughts in, preventing my father from seeing into my mind in the first place. It was the only time this part of my natural 'talent' had come in handy.
"I was thinking," I started again and hoped that my words would makes sense, that I wouldn't sound like a complete lunatic, "I don't want Jake to come with us when we move… and I really want to try and go to school wherever we go." I spit it all out, surprised with how clear my thoughts and wishes had become. But when I raised my eyes up to see my father's expression, he didn't look understanding. He looked completely shocked.
"Those are two completely separate issues Renesmee… let's talk about them one at a time." He sat up at a human pace, running his hands through his copper colored hair while he took a minute to think through my two statements.
"Why don't you wish for Jacob to come with us when we move?" He began, his exterior showing a calm façade but his eyes revealing his suspicions, his concerns that Jake somehow hurt me. I was prepared for his reaction, his confusion. Jake and I had been good friends since I was a baby… that was part of the problem.
"Can I ask you a question?" I blurted out instead of answering him, needing him to tell me this, "What was it like when Jake imprinted on me when I was a baby?"
I had caught him off guard with my question and he swallowed thickly, his eyes darkening at the reminder of everything that had happened on the day of my birth.
"After you were born, I was working on helping your mother – changing her into one of us." He began and I nodded for him to continue, this wasn't anything new to me but I needed to hear it anyways. "Jacob was angry and in a way blamed your mother's pregnancy on what he thought at the time was her death. When he stormed downstairs, it was his intent to kill you… that is, until he saw you. At that moment it was like his entire universe shifted to you. It didn't matter what you needed from him – a brother, a friend, or a protector – he would be it. Nothing was more important to him from that moment on." My dad spoke carefully and I continued nodding as I thought it over.
"I never felt the same way towards him." The whispered words felt like a betrayal, like a lie so deep that I would burn in hell for all eternity for finally expressing my feelings towards him.
"What do you mean Ness? You've always felt a connection to him…" I could see my dad searching his memories for something to defend his words but I also knew he would fall short. There had never been anything from my end to say that I disliked Jake – at least not until recently – but it had never been more than a friendship for me.
"I learned about Jake imprinting on me when I was only a few hours old… I liked his wolf shape and his sense of humor, I liked having someone who was like a kid around to play with, and I liked him as a friend. That's all. There was never anything more than that from me." I clarified softly and my dad closed his eyes as I let my thoughts flow freely through my hand as I rested it on his shoulder, letting him see it from my perspective.
"All my life I've been told that Jacob and I will be together forever, that he'll be anything and everything to me…" I trailed off as I felt a tear slip down my cheek in frustration, finishing the thought through my mind, showing my dad how I felt trapped, obligated to try and be what everyone thought that I was.
"Oh Ness! Why haven't you spoken to us about this before now?" My Dad asked and I shook my head sadly. There were too many reasons that all seemed silly when I thought about it now.
"It wasn't always a problem," I said and smiled, remembering all of the fun times that we had enjoyed together. "But… since I turned 7… since Grand-Dad announced that I was fully matured and that I had stopped growing… well he's changed." I spoke softly, moving my hand from my dad's shoulder to his hand, gripping it tightly as his face took on an angry glare, knowing that I had to keep him calm for this next part.
"It's been a year now and I feel like he expects me to change, to suddenly realize that I want him and that he and I will be together forever as a couple… but I don't want that." I bit down on my lip nervously and showed him some of our recent outings together. I showed him the way that Jake was starting to touch me more and more, wrapping his arms around my shoulders, kissing me against my will and his frustration that I wasn't returning his feelings.
I had to give it to my dad. His face was contorted in pure rage at what I had shown him, but he remained calmly seated on the sofa next to me as I nearly crushed his hand in mine, waiting for him to say something about what he had seen.
"I'm not comfortable with him following us… I've talked to him and told him how I feel and he refuses to back off. He keeps telling me that I'll come around and see that I belong to him, that nobody else will ever be good enough for me. The last time we went hunting he told me he would never leave my side, never let me get away from him… it kind of scared me." I continued to show my father as I described it, continued to wait for his response.
"Renesmee, I promise you that I will never let him hurt you. You are a beautiful, smart and talented woman and you never have to feel as though you have to love someone. If you want some space from Jake, then you have every right to request that he gives you space and that he respects you enough to listen when you tell him 'no' to something." My dad swallowed thickly and I felt another tear trickle down my cheek.
Silently I thanked him, wrapping my arms around his neck like the eight year old I was and breathing deeply, the relief flooding through me at the words he had spoken.
"I'll speak to Jacob and let him know that you wish to be left alone for a little while and we'll go from there… alright sweetheart?" My dad asked and I nodded, wiping my tears with the back of my sleeve and pushing back from him, returning to my spot on the opposite side of the couch and pulling my knees up to my chest.
"Now… about school…" He smiled as he spoke and I tried to see past the anger that was still simmering in his eyes, tried to remain excited at the prospect of getting out into civilization and feeling somewhat human, somewhat normal.
"What the Hell Nessie?" I jumped up in surprise, dropping the large cat into the snow and spinning around to face the familiar voice. But as familiar as he was, as happy as I had always been as a child to see him join me in the woods – things were different now. We were different.
"Jake… I need some time." I watched with wide eyes as he stalked towards me. But my words didn't stop him and I felt my skin prickle in fear at the expression on his face, at the stranger who was now only a few feet away.
"You need to leave Jake." My hand slipped into my pocket and felt around for my cell phone, gripping it tightly as Jacob finally began to slow down, leering at me as I took several steps back. Glancing past him and to my right I tried to mentally calculate the chances of me outrunning him. They weren't good. I was fast, but not nearly as fast as the rest of my family… or Jake.
"Nessie…" His whine travelled right down my spine and I knew, this wasn't good, something was wrong and I was going to pay whatever price.
"Leave me alone Jake." I tried to speak firmly but my voice trembled and I finally pulled my phone out of my pocket, only praying that I had hit the speed dial quickly enough before his hand shot out and sent my phone flying through the trees around us. I watched as it landed on the ground thirty feet away and saw the screen light up as they picked up on the other end.
We could both hear my father's voice calling my name.
"I imprinted on you Nessie… I told you… You have always been mine, and you will always be mine." Before I could even spin around he had me in his arms and we were flying through the forest as I struggled against him, kicking him repeatedly with my legs, turning and attempting to bite into his flesh with my teeth. I knew it would be fatal to him. I didn't have any other choice though.
"FUCK! GRRR" Jake was gone and his wolf was all that remained, in his phasing he had sent me sprawling to the ground underneath him and I winced as I felt his claws rip down my back, screaming in pain as they pulled through my nearly marble skin as nothing else could.
Groaning in agony I pushed away from him as soon as I felt his paws release me, rolling onto my side and using my foot to scoot my body as far away as possible.
"If that's your idea of how to treat an imprint – I don't want anything to do with you." I screeched and then the wolf was gone, Jacob returning quickly, still quivering with the force of his anger.
"Ness… I… I'm so sorry… I never meant…" he approached me quickly, grabbing my arm to stop me from pushing further away and I kicked him again, the heat from his hands burning me painfully as I tried to get out of his reach.
"Come on Ness," his demeanor had changed completely, his anger fading as he looked to me pleadingly. But it didn't matter; it didn't change the damage he had already done, "It's supposed to be you and me Nessie, forever."
Reaching down he grabbed my hand again and I yanked it back, painfully jumping to my feet, feeling as my clothes hung off my back and legs in scraps, feeling completely betrayed and exposed.
"Leave. Me. Alone." I cried out through clenched teeth and backed up again, trying to use my senses to pick up speed and move through the woods without taking my eyes off of him. I watched him as he matched me step by step for several feet before reaching out and grabbing me again.
"Enough of this shit."
Before I knew it I was on the ground beneath him, struggling against his nakedness as he pinned me down, pressing the painful cuts on my back into the forest floor, the dirt and leaves becoming embedded in my skin.
"Let me remind you of how you are mine."
My scream scared away every animal within my hearing range as he pressed against me, pushing himself into me and breaking me for the first time as I continued to struggle against his strength. But my struggling did nothing as he pounded against me repeatedly, growling roughly at me as I tried to bring my knees up, as I pulled my hand free and felt his jaw crack under my fist only to be grabbed and pressed roughly back to the ground.
"YOU. ARE. MINE." He ground out again and in a moment of clarity I brought my head up with enough force to clamp my teeth into his neck, feeling the skin break beneath my teeth as my venom coated teeth sank deeply into his artery at the same time I felt him release his filth into me and the shock of what I had done hit him.
"You little BITCH!" He screamed angrily as he fell against me, freeing my hands as he gripped his neck tightly, his moans starting almost instantly.
And then he was gone and I was in my father's arms.
"Ssh, it's alright Nessie, I'm here," he tried to soothe, pulling me against his chest as I smelled my grandmother's approach and felt a warm jacket cover me, tuning out the distant sound of bones cracking.
The woods quickly became silent. Only the echo of Jakes final screams of agony could be heard along with my heartbeat, fluttering even quicker than normal as my dad held me in his arms and my grandparents stood by watching over us.
And then the pain began and I let out a quiet whimper, feeling the burning ache in my back as my father continued to hold me and I pushed myself slowly up, looked at his broken face before I ducked my head in shame.
"I… I…" I choked on my own sobs and I heard Grandma Esme approach us carefully, picking me up and cradling me like a baby to her chest before she began to jog slowly back to the house, the sound of my father and grandfather's gasps following immediately behind us.
The run back to the main house went quickly and as we came through the door the chaos began as the others had finally returned from their northern hunting expedition and they saw my battered body in Esme's arms.
"Jacob," my father spat out his name, most likely in reply to one of their silent questions and followed Grandma Esme and Grand-Dad Carlisle upstairs to their room where they laid me out on their bed, my body immediately protesting to the new position and rolling to my stomach.
"It's alright baby, I'm here." My father grabbed my hand with one of his own, using his other to brush the hair back from my eyes and I saw him kneeling on the floor beside me, his face filled with worry.
"He… phased… I was in… his arms…" I sobbed out and felt the ghost of a touch as what remnants of my clothes were cut away from my body and I saw Grand-Dad Carlisle move to stand in my peripheral vision.
"Sweetie… I need to clean out the cuts and get all of the dirt out. But before I start that, did he hurt you anywhere else?" he asked gently and I shook my head slightly, my eyes brimming with tears at what he had done to me. "He… he…" I couldn't say it and Grand-Dad moved a little closer to me, leaning down so I could look into his face.
"You don't have to say it, it's alright," he assured me and I felt more tears come pouring out of my eyes at the remembrance. "I just need to know if anything else is broken… or cut?" He asked again and I shook my head, trying to breathe deeply enough to calm down.
The only word to describe the way it felt as Grand-Dad pulled bits of foliage from the cuts in my back was excruciating. And when he used a cloth and antiseptic to clean each wound I found myself screaming and thrashing in agony.
Once he was sure he had gotten out all traces of dirt he covered my back in wide strips of gauze as the cuts slowly began to repair themselves, my own venom fusing the pieces of shredded skin back together painfully as I lay still on the bed. And the entire time, my father never left my side.
"Nessie?" I heard the shrill sound of my mom's voice but I was so tired I couldn't bring myself to lift my head from its spot on the pillow and I realized my hand was still wrapped tightly in my father's as my mother's footsteps got closer to the room.
"What the hell happened Edward?" She was pissed and I felt her breeze into the room and immediately sit gingerly down on the bed, stroking my head with the tips of her fingers.
"Let her fall back to sleep and then I'll fill you in completely." My dad sighed and I heard my mom breathe deeply just before I felt a sudden dose of lethargy hit, effectively knocking me back out.
The next time I woke up I could sense that my dad had finally left the room. Instead it was quiet as I shifted stiffly, noting the general ache up and down my back and between my legs.
"Oh Ness," I looked up as my mom rushed to my side, pulling me in for a gentle hug as I quickly blinked back the tears that were threatening to fall again.
"I… I'm sorry Mom… I tried to stop him…" I stuttered out my apology, unsure of what she would think of me after finding out what had happened. Jacob had been her best friend since before I had been conceived… and I had sort of… killed him.
"Don't you ever apologize for what happened Renesmee, you have absolutely nothing to be sorry for." She told me firmly and I closed my eyes, wishing the memories to disappear. I didn't want to remember anything from the previous day.
"I'm sorry I took so long getting back from the house in Forks." She apologized a moment later and I shook my head. I understood, she had been back to watch her father's funeral from a distance. To grieve for the man we all loved after his fatal heart-attack.
"Am I… Is my back…" I didn't finish the question, tentatively reaching my hand over my shoulder and trying to feel down my back, noting the rough, sensitive patch of skin that I immediately encountered.
"They need a little more time to finish healing…" my mom said quietly as she pulled my arm back down and moved her hand to hold onto mine.
"Are they… will they… will it leave a scar?" I asked cautiously and I saw her nod her head silently, her eyes filled with pity.
"It's okay mom… he's… he won't ever hurt me again." I have to stifle a sob as I spit out the words but I know the truth to them, and as much as I know I will miss the friend he once was, I won't ever miss the monster he had become.