Note: Part four of the 6 am angst spree - freeverse poetry.
Warnings: language
Characters: Tsubasa Andou, Natsume Hyuuga
once I loved you
and maybe I still do
once, I loved you
the way little girls
in their braids and pigtails
picture themselves as damsels
in distress and then
they'd see you
as the knight in
shining armor.
((except you're not a knight,
you're the dragon
who breathes fire with
every word you say,
and I'm not a fucking princess
in a tower.))
once, I loved you
like the carefree spring
breeze, and maybe because
we were children then
sadness was never the
option and we would
run along streets
with our silly little jeers.
you'd narrow your bloodred eyes
and I'd take you
in my arms, ruffle your
hair a bit
(and maybe decide that
I was in love with you
then.)
once, I loved you
because I was terrified
of - for you.
every time you
burnt the objects
(and breathing, living people,
Natsume) in your path,
I wished that I wasn't so scared
of the fact that you were
a killer, and that you
were dying because
of it.
once, I loved you
because I couldn't see
your blood red eyes anymore,
Natsume.
the little girls' dreams came true,
and the dragon was
defeated.
even if the spring comes
there will never be options
again, and
I don't have to decide
if I feel sad or not.
there will be no fear to plague
the rest of me
(that's not yet broken) -
there's nothing to be
afraid of - for.
and I have to say that
the times that
I loved you only occurred
sometimes,
no, I always fucking
loved you.
I always loved you
back then.
and even if
the fire-breathing dragon's dead
and the spring will never be carefree again
and I won't have to be scared for you
maybe I still love you.
no.
I still fucking love you.