Disclaimer: I hold no claim over any of the Newsies...though what I'd give to lay claim to Dutchy...mmmmmm baby! Also don't own the song "Savin' Me" by Nickleback...not sure who owns that but I know it's not me so I'm just lettin' everyone else know that too! Anyways...this is my disclaimer. the end.

Author's Note: Be kind, please...this is my first time writing a Newsies Slash story, and only the second time in God only knows how many years that I've written a Newsies story period! So please, be gentle. And don't forget to review it! Reviews make me smile!! Enjoy!

Dutchy's POV

It wasn't supposed to happen like this. It's not like I planned it to happen…it just…did. We'd been best friends our entire lives, since that first moment we met in pre-school, both of us five years old and the only two kids with glasses. From that first moment we met we knew we'd be friends forever. So what did my parents really expect to happen? We've always known we're different from the other guys at school…I mean yeah, we play sports—we're both on the soccer team and are pretty damn good at it, too—but still, we're not like the others.

For just about twelve years, Specs and I have been attached at the hips. We know everything about each other. I know that he dreams of becoming a world renowned science-fiction/action author, he hates lima beans, loves those little marshmallow ducks called Peeps, and that he wants to move out of the city and to some sleepy little sea-side town once he graduates high school. He knows that I want to become a photographer, that I still have my childhood teddy bear Curtis, I prefer to sleep on my stomach with my music playing, and that I love him more than I've ever loved anything else in the entire world. Which is true, I do. I love everything about him. From his insane love for anything science-fiction (the boy has a shrine, I kid you not, to Star Wars in his room. If George Lucas ever wonders where and how he's getting so many royalties all he'd have to do is look in Specs' room and he'd understand…there's not a spot in there not covered in Star Wars!), to the way his glasses slide down his nose while he's engulfed in his writings. I love the way his brown eyes sparkle and twinkle every time he laughs, and how his hair feels when I run my fingers through it. The feelings I get inside every time he holds me and kisses me go far beyond any comprehensible words in the world. He is truly an amazing person, inside and out.

Why can't my parents understand that this was bound to happen?

We had been in my room, listening to music, him helping me with my advanced physical science homework, and me paying far more attention to his jaw muscles work as he spoke than I should have been. I knew I shouldn't have been watching him so intently, but I couldn't help it. The sound of his voice, his amazingly 'New Yorker' accent was hypnotic. It drew me in, wrapped itself around me like a thick blanket and made me warm all over. He hadn't bothered to mess with his hair, leaving it to fall in tantalizing dark brown half-curls across his forehead. Never in my life had I wanted to reach out and push his hair out of his eyes as much as I had in that moment. I gulped hard as I heard him say my name, asking me if I was even paying attention to anything he'd been saying. Oh, I had been paying attention alright, I heard every word he'd said—I just hadn't processed them. As he looked up to level me with one of his aggravated half-glares, I felt all common sense fail me.

What had made me lean in in that moment and press my lips to his, I still don't know exactly. All I know, is that instead of pulling back and punching me square in the jaw like I'd expected him to do, I felt his warm, soft hand slide across my neck and nestle into my hair. In that moment, my world and life changed forever. Up became down, yes meant no, and wrong had suddenly become so very right. That first kiss we shared was the most liberating moment of my life. I felt as if I was finally free! I didn't have to hide my agitation and discomfort when we'd rough-house in the pool--his smooth, bare arms wrapping around my waist to pull me under always made my stomach flip—nor did I have to pretend I wasn't thinking about lying down on the couch with him to use his lap as a pillow. In that first kiss, I found that he'd felt the same for me as I'd always felt for him.

If only my parents could be as loving and understanding as his are! When he announced to his parents that we were far more than just best friends, they weren't even the least bit surprised. They congratulated us; even they said it only seemed natural for us to be together.

My parents…

I had been terrified to tell my parents that I was gay. Being brought up in a God-fearing household, having to say prayers before every meal, every morning and every night, I'd always been taught that being gay was wrong. "Man shall not lay down with man," my grandma had always preached, holding up her battered old Bible and shaking it at me whenever I would question it as a child. I couldn't then, and I still can't now, figure out why if God is all knowing and understanding that we should fear him…and if we all were made in his image, then why was it such a bad thing for someone to be gay? Still, the thought of what my parents would do to me when I told them that I was completely and utterly in love with Specs scared me more than anything ever had.

Specs had promised me that everything would be fine, that no matter what they said or did, they couldn't stop us from being together. Finally gathering my courage, I told my parents that I wouldn't be taking Audrey Newman—the girl next door who for years had been chasing me trying to get me to kiss her, and who my parents had more-than-happily told I'd take to prom—to the dance, that I had asked someone else to go. There was a deadly silence in the room for a moment before they finally asked who, though from the tone of their voices I could tell they already had a fear of who it was. My voice jumped slightly as I told them I would be going to the dance with my boyfriend, Christopher "Specs" Lutzwick.

The moments that followed my announcement are nothing more than a frenzied blur of angry words, accusations, and threats of punishment if I didn't take a girl to the dance. I could hear my grandma crying across the room, saying I'd been swayed by Satan himself and that if her only grandson could be gay, there was no telling what else I could be doing. My mom was at a total loss for words, but I could see her heartache and disappointment in her eyes—she couldn't even look at me after that. I don't remember much of that except for the things my dad had yelled at me.

"You are NOT taking that faggot to the dance! You're NOT gay! No son of mine is going to allow himself to be used like some prison bitch! I will not tolerate such behavior in my house! Once you're in jail and out of our custody, THEN you can engage in any of the sinful and disgusting acts of homosexuality that you want, but you will NOT do it under this roof! You will NOT do it EVER because you're NOT GAY! Hell has a level reserved for homosexuals—right with the rapists and murders! Is that where you want to end up?!"

I ran after that. Out the door and down the street; the place I once called home and turned to for comfort when the world was too harsh to bear suddenly felt like what an incinerator room at a World War II concentration camp must have felt like. I couldn't stand to see my parents hate me so much and all because I fell in love with my best friend! I ran so fast I was sure my feet weren't even touching the ground any more. I had to get away; I had to go to the one place I knew I'd find comfort and solace. I had to have someone save me.

Bursting into Specs' bedroom, I crumbled to the floor, my legs finally giving out after the strenuous run from my house to his. My glasses fell from my face as I swung my head down, tears streaming down my cheeks. Sobs shook my body as I called out for him weakly, begging for him to comfort me. I hadn't even seen him leap from his bed and rush towards me when I burst in on him. His arms around me, he held me close as I clung to him, my tears soaking through his shirt. I felt so dead inside, hollow and empty. I needed to feel his arms around me, to have him make me feel whole again. I needed him to kiss me in the way that made everything right. I clutched his shirt in my hands as I nearly tried to crawl into his lap. I heard his soothing voice whispering to me, his warm breath rustling through my hair as he kissed my head gently.

Pulling me up from the floor, he led me to his bed. How could this be such a sin?! He loves me enough to let me cling to him like the only thing keeping me afloat in stormy seas; to lie on the bed with me without the intent of doing anything more than holding me and letting me sob myself ragged. I felt his arms wrap around me again, holding me so close I could feel his heart beating against my cheek. His long fingers gently pushed my straw-blond bangs out of my face, soothingly and gently smoothing my hair. His warm hand ran slowly up and down my back as my body wracked with sob-after-gut-wrenching-sob.

"S-say…say i-it…Sp-Specs…" I sobbed. I needed to hear the words that were always felt between us, words that I had uttered softly to him so many nights before but he had never spoken back. More than ever I needed to hear him say them. I felt his silence, like the silence that had settled in my living room before the eruption happened. Feeling my body start to tremble and shake, my brain began to go into hyperactive-overdrive as the silence stretched on for what seemed like ever.

"Say it Specs! Please!? D-Don't…don't let me…f-fall…I n-need to hear you…s-say it." I looked up at him, my vision blurred not only by lack of glasses but also from the ocean of tears flooding from my eyes. "Say it!"

Specs just laid there staring at me. He didn't even blink as he watched me bawl my eyes out. I'd been wrong? How could I have been wrong? Didn't he love me like I loved him? My chest rose and fell at a sickening pace as my heart started to break into a thousand little pieces. Surely I couldn't have been wrong about us.

"Please, Chris…please s-say it…"

"Say what, Dutch?"

"Say IT! You know damn well what IT is! Say it!" I screamed, slamming my fist down hard on his shoulder as I pushed myself up off him. When he still only stared at me, I felt as if I were on the edge of the Empire State Building, one step away from falling off and to my demise. Not even bothering to try and find my glasses, I moved for the door. I'd been wrong…

"Lyle…stop," I felt his strong hand wrap around my wrist as I reached for the doorknob. I tried my best to yank out of his grasp, but being too weak and tired from running and crying my attempts were nothing short of pitiful. Pulling me back so that I was facing him, I felt his arms wrap around me tightly as he pressed his lips to mine in a kiss that far surpassed that of our first one. All at once I felt as if my whole body was being rebuilt from the inside out, the hollowness filling with the warmth and love I'd felt before.

Pulling back slightly, I kept my eyes closed as I felt his breath against my lips. "I love you, Lyle…you know I love you so I never thought I had to say it, but if that's what it takes to save you…then Dutchy I'm not going to let a single day go by ever again without saying it to you. I love you."

My parents will never understand how I could fall in love with my best friend. I hadn't meant for it to happen…it just…did. And in the end, it's worth it…his love is what saved me.

Prison gates won't open up for me/on these hands and knees/I'm crawlin'/all I reach for you/well I'm terrified of these four walls/cuz iron bars can hold my soul in/all I need is you/come please/I'm callin'/and all I scream for you/hurry/I'm fallin'/I'm fallin'/Show me what it's like/to be the last one standing/teach me wrong from right/I'll show you what I can be/And say it for me/Say it to me/I'll leave this life behind me/say it if it's worth/savin' me

Heaven's gates won't open up for me/with these broken wings/I'm fallin'/and all I see is you/these city walls/ain't got no love for me/I'm on the ledge of the 18th story/and all I scream for you/come please/I'm callin/and all I need from you/hurry/I'm fallin'/I'm fallin'/ Show me what it's like/to be the last one standing/and teach me wrong from right/and I'll show you what I can be/And say it for me/Say it to me/and I'll leave this life behind me/say it if it's worth/savin' me/hurry/I'm fallin'/yeah yeah

And all I need is you/come please/I'm callin'/and all I scream for you/hurry/I'm fallin'/I'm fallin'/I'm fallin'/ Show me what it's like/to be the last one standing/and teach me wrong from right/and I'll show you what I can be/And say it for me/Say it to me/and I'll leave this life behind me/say it if it's worth/savin' me/hurry/I'm fallin'/and say it for me/say it to me/and I'll leave this life behind me/say it if it's worth/savin' me