REALITY
by MapleRose
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She remembered hearing the news on TV, and she remembered that she felt sad and shocked at the terrible tragedy. So many innocent people have died, how could she be so heartless as to not feel sad?
But even so, it was a sort of detached feeling of sadness, like wow, that's horrible! I can't believe something like this would happen. But that was all there was to it, and she couldn't care any more beyond that. Because it wasn't personal. She didn't feel any sadder about this than when her cat died. And somewhere in the back of her mind, she was pretty sure that there was also a feeling of relief that it didn't happen to her.
It was like this for the destruction of Junius Seven, or the fall of Kuosung. It was far away from her, so everything seemed so surreal to her.
And even as everything fell around her as Heliopolis collapsed, she could only feel that kind of sadness and shock again, because it still felt surreal to her, as if she was not part of it, even though she was in the middle of it. Maybe it was because everyone she knew was perfectly safe and sound. Even though the life and home she'd come to know was gone, she knew she always had another one on Earth.
As she fought the battles as a soldier, seeing destruction around her and the machines explode, she became more and more aware of the world around her, and its endless conflicts. But still, that feeling of indifference and surrealism never left her, because she didn't actually see anyone die, only the images of cold metal machines being turned into scrap metal displayed on a screen. She didn't actually hear anyone's last words, only the distant rumbles of explosions. And that seemed to make everything more unreal.
It wasn't until that day, when reality crashed down on her, that shattered the feeling of detachment and surrealism.
She still didn't see or hear anyone die. What she saw and heard was worse: the letters spelling out "signal lost", and the white noise then the silence that followed.
The ironic thing is, this wasn't even considered a "tragedy" by the media. In fact, only a handful of people would ever know about this event. He just became a statistic, a mere sacrifice that had no great significance whatsoever on the world around them. Yet she was more sad and shocked at this than any other "big tragedies" that ever happened during her lifetime.
Because even though he was just one person to the world, he was the world to her.
It wasn't fair. Of all the millions of people in the world, why did it have to be him? And somewhere in the back of her mind, she wished that it was someone else, anyone else but him.
But it was him. The reality of that could not be changed, no matter how much tear she shed.
AN: Have you ever had that feeling, when you watch the news about a tragedy, you think it's sad, but you don't really care any more beyond that because it doesn't have to do with you personally?
This one is just a random drabble thing that doesn't fit anywhere... don't like the ending sentence though..