Hey guys! Okay so I'm really sorry that it took me so long to upload :( Anyways, this is a new story called "Emma's Diary" I've been working on this really hard and here's the first chapter (finally haha) Sorry if it's a little boring or whatever but this is still my first fan fiction and I promise it will get better. I'm also sorry for any grammar mistakes but I'm no English so please don't blame me I try my best. Well enough of me annoying you lets get to the story! I hope you like it, don't forget to give you're opinion!

Xxx Anouk

Sunday, 11pm.

Emma´s POV

I ran as fast as I could. Riker gave me a break of an half hour to change clothes. It was 11pm. I knew Thomas would be home around 11:30 and that was also the moment that I had to be back at Riker's again. When I finally reached my house it was 11:05. I let myself fall to the cold, hard floor. I stayed there for a little while. After a minute of five I took some paper and started writing.

And that's what you're reading right now. I'm writing exactly what I did, and what I'm going to do. Cause today I'm done with my life. I've been bullied, my mom died, my dad is addicted to drugs, I saved enough money to get him in rehab by being a whore for almost a year, and now I'm done with it. My life. My whole fucking life. I hate it so much that I can't even tell you.

I'm truly sorry for what I've done and for the people I left behind. Well, actually I'm only sorry for Thomas. I love you, big brother. Always did, always going to. The other people? I don't really care about you anymore. Seemed the fact you didn't care about me either.

Ashley, I used to be your BFF remember? Until you turned your back to me. Just like everyone else. Just a simple question. Why would you bully a girl for crying because her mom died? Why would you call her weak? Or stupid? It should have been your mom. It should have been you. It should have been me.

Thanks. Thank you all. Most of you are the reason that you're now looking at a dead girl. But you know, that wasn't even the worst. The worst, that was Riker. How you ruined my life…I can't even describe. But you did ruin my life.

To all girls around the world, who will never know my story; don't fall in love with a guy for his words and his gifts. Or because he is famous. Cause they can be big liars. And you were Riker. A very big liar. A life destroyer. Thanks for that. See what you've done? Killed another girl. And no, I'm not talking about that girl you shot this morning. Since when is calling the police a crime? Like this is gonna change your mind. You probably won't even care about me being dead. You'll just find another girl, right? Well I hope she's good enough for you.

It's 11:23 now. I'm sitting in my room, door's locked. Knife next to me. So goodbye.

P.S. To Thomas,
I love you forever, just remember that, I'm really sorry. I want you to send my diary (in the drawer of my desk) to Ross Lynch. That may be weird, but please do it for me. Love you. 3

Goodbye everyone,

XXX

Emma Jones, 14-years old, girl, dead by suicide, 11:25.

Two days later

*Tuesday, 12 pm*

Ross walked down the stairs. 'Hey!' He said as he walked into the kitchen, to find only Rydel. 'Where are the others?' he asked.

'Mom and dad have already gone to bed. So have Rocky and Ryland. Riker is somewhere nobody knows.' She said.

Ross sighed. 'Where does he go every day?'

Rydel shook her head. 'I have no idea.'

Then Ross saw the cardboard box on the table. 'Hey what's that?' he asked.

'I don't know. It was at the front door. Your name is on it so I waited for you, I didn't want to open it.' Rydel responded. 'Maybe it's something important. Or fan mail.' She added the last with a voice like she didn't expect anything else.

Ross sighed. He wished it was something else than fan mail. He didn't like the whole popular-actor-and-band life. He hated it. Of course it was fun to get fan mail from people who thought he was amazing, but they always thought they knew him. The truth was that they didn't know him at all. Nobody did to be honest. Even his parents didn't. They didn't know about the suicidal thoughts, about the cuts and the overly sensitive reactions to things. They didn't know about the nights where he cried himself to sleep and the weird dreams about the girl. He didn't know who she was but she seemed to go through the same things as he did. Depression. The big black hole in which they both fell and didn't know how to climb out again. He knew the girl would exist somewhere.

Where? No idea. But she was there. Ross knew it. And when he'd found her, he'd marry her. Because she would understand him. And together they would come through it. And they would be happy together. The only problem was that he had to find her. The world was big and she could be everywhere. But he had to find her. He had to.

He hid all these things because nobody would understand him. They would say he was crazy. Ross admitted it was insane. He was a better actor than some people thought. The only person who knew a little of it was Ratliff. His best friend. He was the only one who knew the truth behind the happy and always joking Ross. Well, not the entire truth. But he knew about the overly sensitive reactions and the cuts. What Ratliff didn't know was that Ross had a complete plan of how he'd kill himself and that his goodbye letter was already written. Hidden on a secret place of course, but it was there. If Ratliff would know that, it would break his heart. Ross knew that. Ratliff was the only person that would cry on his funeral if Ross committed suicide. At least, that was what Ross thought. But he couldn't kill himself. Not yet. He had to find the girl of his dreams first.

He carefully opened the box. It was a small package with a letter and something that looked like a book. Ross took the letter and started reading.

Dear Ross Lynch,

My name is Thomas. You probably don't know me. Please don't stop reading cause this is not just fan mail. I'm not a fan. To be honest, I hate your band. You'll understand the reason why later.

My sister is a fan. Her name is Emma. I bet she's your biggest fan. Well, was. She's probably going to die.

I'm not going to ask you for an autograph, or ask you to come to her funeral or whatever. I only want you to ask to do me a favor. The other thing I sent you is her diary. She used it every day. Our dad gave it to her three years ago, when our mom died. I read every single word she wrote because I was the one who found her. Yes Ross, I found her when she tried to commit suicide. She asked me to send you her diary. I read it because I wanted to know the whole reason why she tried to kill herself. It's not stupid teenage shit. My little sister had real problems. If I'd been her, I have committed suicide a very long time ago. I always thought she was that happy girl, well, turns out she wasn't.

She's in the hospital now. She lost a lot of blood and the doctors think she's not going to make it. The reason why she tried to suicide it is closer to you as you think Ross. So please, if you care at least a little bit about my sister, or your fans in general, I'll ask you to read my little sisters life story.

Sincerely,
Thomas Jones.

'Wow…' Ross said slowly.

'What's wrong? Ross are you okay?' Rydel asked worried.

'No…it's just…fan mail.'

Rydel seemed concerned. 'Ross are you su-'

'I'm upstairs.' Ross cut her off. He grabbed the letter and the diary and walked up the stairs. He let himself fall to the bed.

The diary slipped outta his hand and fell to the floor.

The reason why she tried to suicide it is closer to you as you think Ross.

The sentence echoed through his head. Why would a girl suicide because of him? Ross sighed and slowly reached for the diary that lay on the floor. It was a sort of black book with golden edges. He closed his eyes, sighed, opened the diary and started reading.