Wherever You Are
Author: Med Bajer
Email: med_bajer@hotmail.com mailto:med_bajer@hotmail.com
Rating: PG
Summary: A songfic. A little close-up on Legolas's emotions after Aragorn went
over the cliff in TTT. I cannot write summaries. Argh.
Disclaimer: Everything here belongs to their respectful owners. The song
"Wherever You Are" belongs to the rightful owner as well. Don't sue
me, I'm only 13 years old.
Note: I'm quite aware of the fact that when Aragorn "took a little tumble
off the cliff", he was gone for only a while, and was back in the same
day. But please grant me the artistic license to write that he was gone for a
night instead, and returned later the next day. Thanks!
Once again, it is yet another 10 minute fic written by me, Med Bajer. Mwahaha.
It cant compare to some of the other wonderful things written by you all. I
feel soooo ashamed of my pathetic writing skills. *Cries* Anywayz, enjoy!
Legolas stared down at the fierce churning water of the river
below him. He is dead, took a little tumble off the cliff. The ugly
words, followed by the harsh laughter of the Orc, echoed in his mind.
The waters were a dark shade of blue, and they rolled ever onwards, stopping
for nobody and nothing, throwing itself repeatedly against the rocky sides of the
cliff. Legolas's heart sank within him as he watched the churning mass. Even if
Aragorn had survived the drop down, he probably would have been thrown against
the rocks mercilessly along with the waves, his life breaking along with his
body.
The survivors of the battle were starting to clear up the area, preparing to
leave and continue the journey to Helms' Deep. But Legolas heard nothing. He
saw nothing. He felt nothing. All he knew of now was the numbness of his mind,
and the piercing ache in his heart.
How could he? How could Aragorn leave those people, the people
that needed his leadership? How could Aragorn leave his family like this,
falling into those deep evil waters without a farewell to them? How could
Aragorn leave Arwen, when she had given up so much for him?
The last thought left a stinging sensation in his eyes: how could Aragorn leave
him? How could his best friend leave him just like that, when he knew he
was already alone, without a single one of his own being with him?
Tears edged the Elf's eyes and he fiercely swiped them away. No, he could not
cry. Not now, not in front of these men who did not and would not understand
the pain he was going through.
"Leave the dead." Theoden's voice came to him from somewhere very
distant.
Once the sentence registered itself in Legolas's mind, he turned a murderous
stare onto the King. Theoden could not meet the intense gaze, and he turned to
walk away. Legolas clenched his fists and tried to control his hurried
breathing.
A swirl of emotions rushed through him. Disbelief, intense grief, and anger
played in his mind until he just wanted to drop and cry from the stress he
suddenly felt. He heard Gimli walked up behind him, heard the Dwarf say to him
softly, "they're moving on, Legolas. You'd best follow as well."
The Elf did not turn, but he heard his friend slowly leave. "Don't wait up
for me, I'll go to Helms' Deep on my own. I have to do something first,"
he called out to the Dwarf.
~*~
Legolas stumbled into the strong fortress, his clothes thoroughly soaked, and
water dripping off his fine golden hair. Night had fallen for about an hour or
so, and he still had not found Aragorn, whether the human was dead or alive.
Not looking at anybody, he slowly headed up the steps. All around him, the
people of Rohan saw him and sighed, for the sight of such a fair being in such
mortal grief brought yet another shadow over their already disheartened souls.
~*~
Come out moon
Come out wishing star
Come out, come out
wherever you are
The night was almost half-gone. The people of the Deep had already drifted into
slumber, except for the guards upon the battlements. The people slept
peacefully for once in many years, knowing that they were safe, and they were
being guarded.
And yet there was another one that did not sleep, and he was the only one who
had no peace of mind. Legolas sat upon the roof of the highest tower in Helms'
Deep, unnoticed by all save for the stars that framed the Moon.
His heart was long weary of the extreme loneliness one felt when one was among
those who were not of his kindred. His soul felt heavy with sorrow and grief
and loss, and he felt so tired that the Elf just wanted to lie down and sleep
forever.
He had not found Aragorn. Earlier that day, he had combed every possible shore downstream,
and even those upstream, hoping to find his friend, but to no avail. Even when
he had given up almost all hope and was ready to concede that Aragorn was dead,
he still searched.
The thought tore his very heart apart, but the least he knew he could do was to
find the body of the human and give it a decent burial, or even bear it back to
his family if he had to. The Elf was willing to do all that, and even more, but
Fate granted him no such opportunity.
Legolas shivered slightly; the night air was cold, and the fact that his
clothes were damp did not help at all. He had searched every bank, even going
up to the extent of diving into the shallow parts of the river, but he had not
found a single thing.
He sighed and brought his knees up to his chest, resting his head on them.
Silently, he let his tears flow. His entire being felt so hollow, he felt that
the only thing he had within him right now was grief and tears.
I'm out here in the dark
All alone and wide awake
Come and find me
I'm empty and I'm cold
And my heart's about to break
Come and find me
For any mortal, a lifespan of slightly less than three thousand years would
have been more than ancient, but Legolas was an Elf. In Elven terms, he was
only slightly more than a child. And now he felt more like the lost, confused
child than he was an ancient being.
He now felt more alone than ever, now that his most trusted friend had been
lost to the river and his kin were deserting their former allies. Legolas felt
so tired, tired of it all.
Why couldn't that old feud just end? Did they not understand? If
the Eldar and Edain did not come to understand their differences, they would be
driven apart even more. And then Sauron could wreck his evil upon every corner
of the land. The pain in his heart that had subsided to a throb now returned
again, a searing bolt of fire. Did the Elves not care about Middle-Earth
anymore? It was their home, and all that they possessed were in it. Why did
they not care?
"How I wish you were here now, Strider," he whispered to the wind,
his voice hoarse with emotion. For one of the first times in his life, Legolas
looked vulnerable. His form was hunched over and curled up in a tight ball, and
the moonlight reflected upon his face, showing his eternal youth, making him seem,
for all his wisdom, young. And perhaps even too young.
Slowly, he felt his eyes close with all the exhaustion and stress of the day,
and for once he did nothing to stop it. He wanted those few precious hours of
rest when he could just sink into oblivion and forget those world- weary issues
for a while.
And maybe, he thought to himself through the sleep that was starting to
enshroud him, maybe I could see Strider for one last time in my dreams, and
bid a farewell to him, if he is really gone.
I need you to come here and find me
'Cos without you I'm totally lost
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn't done much good so far
I can only dream of you
Wherever you are
Those eyes. Those familiar grey eyes. They belonged to Aragorn. Then the
mist faded, and he saw his friend standing there just before him.
"Aragorn!" He cried, and his heart lifted with the unspeakable joy he
felt.
But then, as he reached out a hand to touch him, the human backed away, smiling
and laughing. He started forward again, both hands outstretched, confused.
"Aragorn?"
Aragorn only laughed again, laughed his familiar laugh and smiled his familiar
smile. Suddenly Legolas felt sad. Why was it that he could see and hear his
friend, yet not feel him?
Again he tried to reach out for his friend, and again the Ranger eluded his
grasp. The smile and laughter had not left though, but now Legolas felt
horrible inside. Why? Why was his best friend eluding him so?
"Why?" He asked out loud, "why?"
There was only a smile, and even though Aragorn did not seem to speak, Legolas
heard his voice in his head, I'm no longer here, mellon nin, and that is why
you cannot feel me.
The confusion was replaced with heart-breaking disbelief and grief. "No,
no! It's not true! It's not true! You can't be dead, Estel! You can't be! It
isn't true!"
There was now a silence, although the smile was still there on his friend's
face. The voice echoed in his mind, I'm not here, Legolas.
"No!" The Elf awoke from the dream with a start, breathing heavily as
perspiration poured down his face despite the chill around him.
I'll hear you laugh
I'll see you smile
I'll be with you
Just for a while But when the morning comes
And the sun begins to rise
I will lose you
Because it's just a dream
When I open up my eyes
I will lose you
He reached out a hand hesitatingly, and quickly withdrew it again.
"Where...?" He asked, bewildered with grief, "...Why?"
The stars only twinkled in reply.
Slowly, as though still in his dream, Legolas lowered his hand again. It was still
nighttime, but his time, the moon high up in the inky blackness did nothing to
soothe his reeling thoughts. Flexing his fists, he opened and closed them over
and over again, as though he was trying to hold on to the fading memories of
that dream. That smile, that laugh, that voice...
The moonlight illuminated the faint tear tracks on the Elf's fair face. He
hated being immortal, having to face the fact that he would lose all that he
had one day and be forced to watch them all go away. He hated the fact that
being immortal sometimes made him take things for granted, such as Aragorn.
Forever now seemed like such a naïve term to him.
I used to believe in forever
But forever's too good to be true
I've hung a wish on every star
It hasn't done much good so far
I don't know what else to do
Except to try to dream of you. And I wonder if you are dreaming too
Wherever you are
It was going to be dawn soon. The faint rays of the sun were already tingeing
the sky ever so slightly. Legolas brushed the tears from the corner of his eyes
as he scanned the dim horizon. Already, he thought he saw a glimpse of the
massive black army heading for them.
But was Aragorn really gone? Legolas's heart never had accepted that fact, and
now he felt it beat with renewed hope. It is a new day, a new war. Aragorn will
come. He would not miss it for the world.
The odds were high, and they were all against his beliefs, but the Evenstar was
clutched tightly in his hand, and Legolas felt the solid coolness of it against
his palm.
"Strider my friend, if you can hear me now, wherever you are, please come
back here. The people of Rohan need you, and King Theoden needs you too."
He lowered his head for a moment, glanced at the Evenstar, and then raised his
head again, and finished with one last sentence. "And I need you
too."
The instincts deep within him somehow told the Elf that his friend was still
alive, somewhere and somehow. All Aragorn needed right now was something to
guide him back. Legolas smiled to the sunrise and he said, "May your heart
guide you back here, back to us, and back home, my friend, for you are so
important to us. Hurry and return, Strider. My bow and your sword have yet to
gleam alongside each other in this war. I will be waiting."
Wherever you are.