"Moony, wait!" Sirius called.
Remus continued to storm across the Gryffindor common room and up to the boys' dormitory, ignoring the pleading cries that followed him.
"Moony, it wasn't my fault! I was drugged!"
Remus was aware that the incident had probably not been Sirius' fault but nevertheless he was incensed with rage and he couldn't help that. He slammed the door to their dorm room with such force that he was sure he saw some significant flecks of paint fly from the frame. He could hear Sirius' hurried footfalls on the stairs outside and so locked the door magically for good measure.
He'd reached the centre of the room when Sirius collided with the door, twice. After the third attempt he seemed to realise that he wasn't going to get through and so started hammering on it instead.
"Moony, let me in right now!" he commanded, but Remus just scowled in reply. "I'm telling you it wasn't my fault! How was I supposed to know that she'd slipped that potion into my drink!?"
The 'she' in question was Hetty Boggin, an extremely intelligent but desperately plain girl from Ravenclaw. That morning, or so Sirius claimed (and Remus knew he believed him deep down but that didn't stop him being mad), Hetty had slipped a rather potent love potion into Sirius' orange juice at breakfast. She had then positioned herself carefully at her table so that she was in Sirius' direct line of sight. When Sirius had taken a hearty swig from his glass she had grinned seductively (well sort of seductively for a girl with absolutely nothing sexy about her at all) and given him a little wave. Sirius, who had been in mid-conversation with Remus, had risen from his seat, strode purposefully over to the Ravenclaw table, swept Hetty into his arms and proceeded to engage her in a very, very intense kiss. The earth shattering pain that Remus had immediately experienced in his chest had been so extreme that he had nearly vomited into his cereal.
It had been like a car crash, Remus knew he didn't want to see but he couldn't look away. When the pair had finally pulled themselves apart with a loud, wet, sucking noise Remus had dropped his spoon into his bowl. Regaining just enough intelligence to remember that no-one else in the school knew he was engaged in an extremely, magnificently satisfying sexual relationship with his best friend, he announced suavely "I'm gonna vom" and dashed from the Great Hall.
Seconds later Sirius had been rushing after him; apparently in her excitement at the thought of copulating with Sirius, Hetty and forgotten to add the key ingredient to her potion that would give it lasting effects. Either that or Sirius had not ingested enough of it to make it last more than five minutes. Now, you might think Remus was reacting a little unfairly but had you just seen your supposed 'partner' snog the face off some girl, not to mention a little groping, I'm sure you'd be angry too. And so now Remus was locked in his dormitory with Sirius banging intently on the locked door.
"Remus Lupin," Sirius called seriously, and his voice began to get progressively louder as he continued. "You open this door this minute or I'm going to go back down to the Great Hall and tell everyONE EXACTLY WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT AND HOW GOOD..."
Remus opened the door and yanked Sirius in by his shirt.
Sirius was grinning to himself as he smoothed down his clothes and ran his long fingers absentmindedly through his hair, ruffling it sexily. Remus glared and suppressed the thoughts in his head and the burning in his groin.
"Right then, Moony," he slurred attempting to be irresistible and succeeding effortlessly. He slid slightly closer to Remus and began to walk his fingers up his chest. Remus batted his hand away, still trying to ignore the images in his mind.
"Let's talk about this shall we?" Sirius said leaning in and making it quite clear that 'talking' about it wasn't what he meant. His breath fluttered across Remus' face and he could almost taste Sirius' lips on his own, subsequently finding that he could not tear his eyes away from them as Sirius wet them seductively. Remus found himself leaning in, licking his own lips subconsciously. It was as though Sirius had caught him like a fish on a line and was now slowly reeling him in. The pull in his chest was unchallengeable and it was only when Remus' lips brushed lightly against Sirius' that the image of him and Hetty flashed across the insides of his eyelids and he pushed Sirius firmly away.
"No, Sirius," he stated. "You can't just kiss me and make this go away."
"I can try," Sirius murmured, sliding closer again and trying to lean in to Remus again. Remus' was prepared this time though and stepped back away from him.
"Stop it, Sirius!" he snapped seriously.
"Come on, Moony," Sirius said irritably now. "You can't seriously blame me for what happened. I was drugged; I had no control."
"So you say," Remus mumbled, though he knew the truth and he dropped his head, slightly embarrassed, to study his shoes.
"Moony," Sirius said, and he slid closer to him again, "why on earth would I have absolutely any interest in that – that girl -" he draped his hand on Remus' shoulder and stroked it across his back as he circled him predatorily "- when I have unlimited access to the hottest piece of arse -" his other hand squeezed Remus' left buttock ever so gently. Sirius breathed his final words into Remus' ear, "- not to mention the most incredible sex mankind has ever known?" Sirius stopped behind Remus, pressed so close to him that Remus could almost feel the zip of Sirius' fly pressing against him. Sirius' hand was still wedged between them.
Remus was trying hard not to dribble and mentally forced himself to close his mouth. He thought he should probably respond and said something that might have sounded like "flugh". He swallowed hard and twisted to chance a glance a Sirius who was so close to him that he could have counted his eyelashes. Looking at him was a mistake; Remus was instantly lost in the dark glittering pools.
He opened his mouth again to try to make a more coherent statement but before he had the chance Sirius' hands were clasping the sides of his face and his mouth was covering Remus' entirely. Remus felt his knees begin to buckle and his head began to spin slightly and so he threw his arms around Sirius and clung desperately to him, digging his fingers into Sirius' shoulders for support as Sirius' tongue plunged into his mouth.
When the pair finally emerged from the dormitory some good length of time later, Sirius was totally forgiven and Remus had a very satisfied smirk on his face.
At lunch later that day Remus watched Hetty Boggin carefully out of the corner of his eye. Whilst she seemed to be mildly disgruntled that she had not managed to ensnare Sirius she wasn't taking it too badly. Instead she was surrounded by a gaggle of girls, all who wanted to know how to make the potion she had used and what exactly, in great detail, it was like to kiss Sirius Black. This brought a smile to his face as he imagined strutting over to them and replaying his morning to them, second by incredible second, in explicit detail. He discarded this idea though, deciding instead to let Hetty have her moment in the spotlight; after all she would never experience what he just had and it would be unfair to gloat.