Luffy coughed once, twice, three times and finally opened his eyes.
"U...Usopp?"
"Luffy! Oh, God... thank God..."
"What happened? I was fighting those marine bastards, and then..."
Usopp grabbed Luffy by the shoulders and shook him hard."Luffy, don't you ever do that again! You know seawater can kill you!"
"I'm sorry...shishishi...how did I get back onboard the Merry?"
"Well, I saved you, of course!"
Luffy sat up immediately.
"You saved me? Reeaaally???? Tell me what happened!"
Usopp smiled like the debonair he was. "Well, you see, we were surrounded by dozens of marines...no, hundreds, no, thousands! And I was taking down the enemy twenty at a time!"
"OOH! Where was I?!"
"You were on the other side of the ship. I knew you could take care of yourself, but I still wanted to keep an eye on you, you see."
" YOU'RE SO SWEET!"
"Hahaha...I know, I know...The great Captain Usopp-sama is made of kindness and strength... Well, anyway, I was busy fighting, when out of the corner of my eye, I saw you scream and fall off the ship and into the water!"
"OH MY GOD! DID I DIE?!"
"No, because the great Usopp-sama dove in to rescue you!"
"KYAAAA! USOPP-SAMA!"
"Yes, yes, you love me, I know. Well, I dove in with my amazing swimming skills...because I'm really half merman, you know."
"WOAH!"
"Indeed! Well, little did I know that the surrounding waters were shark infested!""OH NO!""Hah! But I wasn't afraid! With my deadly merman combat skills, I beat down every last one of them, armed with only a toothpick, a bonzai plant and a small rubber chicken!"
"OH! How many sharks were there?"
"There must have been...close to two thousand!"
"And did you beat them all?"
"Of course, and it was easy!"
"So then what happened?!"
" So I defeated the sharks, rescued you, brought you back on the ship, battled a few more marines and saved the entire ship... all with a BROKEN TOENAIL!""OH! THAT'S TERRIBLE! TERRIBLE! WHAT SHOULD WE DO?!"
"Don't worry, I'll survive, Luffy...after all, I am... USOPP!""'SUGOI!!!!!!"
Luffy shot into Usopp's arms, much to the latter's surprise.
"Luffy, what are you doing?"
"I'm thanking my hero... who loves me enough to battle two thousand sharks to save my life!"
It was amazing how that simple look in the rubber boy's eyes managed to make the great Usopp-sama's heart melt like so much hot butter. Usopp heaved a deep sigh.
"Luffy?"
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry. I was lying to you."
"You…lied?"
"I'm afraid so. I'm sorry."
"Wait, so...you didn't battle two thousand sharks to rescue me?"
"No."
"..."
"It was THREE thousand."