Title: In Time
Author: Megan (bree1387)
Category: Harper/Beka friendship
Rating: PG
Spoilers: So Burn the Untamed Lands and minor spoilers from throughout the show.
Summary: Beka tries to restore the tattered remains of her relationship with Harper. My take on So Burn the Untamed Lands.
Author's Note: I really did not like the way anyone treated Harper in this episode. This story picks up part way through the ep, and then takes off in a slightly AU direction. As an aside, I know that one of the things mentioned here didn't occur until after the episode, but it still works.
Feed the author, send feedback!
Disclaimer: I do not own the characters. They belong to Gene Roddenberry and I'm making no money from this (darn).
o-o-o-o-o-o
"Ok, what are the readings on the um, ah, the up and down thing," Harper asked while walking back and forth between machinery, trying to figure out what he was supposed to be doing.
"The vertical?" Beka supplied.
"Right."
"Ah, spiking at plus or minus 5."
"Okay, so, ah, magnetic interference, we need more magnetic interference," he said, without conviction. What was wrong with him?
"We have plenty of interference, Harper, that's kind of the problem."
"Right, of course. Insulation? We need insulation."
To Beka, it sounded almost like he was asking her if they needed insulation. If there was one thing Harper made sure everyone knew, it was that he was a genius. Then why was he having such a hard time even forming simple sentences? She had originally been annoyed at his apparent ineptness, but that was quickly turning into concern.
"Did you sleep enough?"
"Yeah, yeah, why?"
"I don't know, you're just not your usual quick and quippy self. What's going on?" She put down the instrument she was holding and gave him an appraising look. It could have been the lighting, but she thought Harper's neck looked a little red.
"I'm just trying to concentrate, ya know? Oh, what are the readings on the vertical?"
Alarm bells started going off. This wasn't at all like Harper. Sure his thought processes had always been jumbled, and when he was on a rant not even Rommie could follow him, but when doing an engineering job, he never forgot anything. Engineering was his life. It was his ticket off that hell hole earth, and he'd never screwed it up.
"Harper, just stop and look at me. What's bothering you?"
"Uh, nothing. Nothing. It's nothing. What are the readings again?"
"Listen. I know we haven't had a chance to talk recently, and for you it's been three years since you've seen any of us, but that doesn't mean I still don't care about you."
"Hey, did I ask you? Now are you going to help me?" Harper snapped.
Her eyes hardened. One thing hadn't changed. He could still be a jerk. She'd give him a little time to think and then try asking again.
"I'm going to get a roll of insulation."
"Fine, whatever." He paused to scratch madly at his arms and chest. "Take your time!" Getting fed up with the itching, he yanked his top over his head and was shocked to find an angry rash covering his left arm and chest, and from the feel of it his back as well. A nagging worry started at the back of his mind. The last time he'd had a rash like this, he was told it would have eaten his skin off. What he wouldn't give for Andromeda's knowledge and medical deck right now.
"Oh my God, Harper!" came Beka's shocked exclamation as she rounded the corner and found the engineer topless. It wasn't only the rash that surprised her, but also the fact he had taken his shirt off in the middle of the Maru. In all the time she'd known him, he'd never stripped if there was the chance someone would walk in on him. Three years on Seefra might have changed him, but she thought it was pretty far fetched it would do this to him. She moved closer to get a better look. "What happened?"
"Do I look like Trance?" he sneered. "It's nothing."
"It is most certainly not nothing." She reached out to touch his arm, curiosity guiding her actions. She immediately pulled her hand back when Harper hissed and jumped out of reach.
"Don't touch me! I don't need your help."
"Like you're doing such a good job taking care of yourself! After we pick up Dylan and Rhade I'm taking you to Andromeda. Maybe Trance will know what this is."
"I'm fine." He grabbed the insulation from her and tried to get back to work. A part of Beka was angry with him for being so short with her when she was only trying to help, and another part mourned for their lost friendship. After not seeing him for months, and him not seeing her for three years, the first words out of her mouth after finally coming together again had been filled with disgust and derision when she'd seen Rommie. Right then she'd noticed Harper close up. She cursed Seefra. Survival was foremost on everyone's minds, causing interpersonal relationships to be locked in the closet. Maybe he had a right to be angry with her.
Giving Harper time to cool off, she headed to the cockpit to prepare to pick up Rhade and take on Dylan and the refugees.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Rhade, something's wrong with Harper."
"No kidding. You're just noticing this now?" He didn't even look up from the console he was working at.
She bit her tongue to refrain from saying something stupid. Only for a second though. "His personality has changed. He's forgetful, rude and short tempered."
"And this is unusual how?"
"And he's covered in a rash."
Rhade's hand paused in midair, a worried look washing over his face. "Red and itchy?"
"Yeah," she replied slowly. "Do you know what it is?"
"It sounds like the illness affecting the slaves working in the mines. Exposure to the crystals causes a rash and aggressive behaviour. Where is he now?"
"He should be back in the engineering section preparing for the refugees. Harper hasn't been on that mining planet, how did he get exposed?" Her worry increased ten fold. If Rhade was concerned, she knew something must be really wrong.
"Doyle said something about a still blowing up. I wasn't really paying attention. Contact Dylan and explain the situation to him. I'm going to see how Harper's doing." Mumbling to himself about things never being easy, he stopped at the entrance to engineering and observed the young man hard at work, or at least trying to work. He was speaking in a hushed angry tone, occasionally accenting his frustration by slamming a tool into the railing. "Harper, can I talk to you for a minute?"
Harper turned an annoyed face in his direction. "No." He went to back work.
Rhade smiled, but wasn't really amused. "Listen little man. That rash you're doing a terrible job at hiding? It's going to going to make you go crazy. Knowing you, it'll probably kill you as well."
The engineer stomped right up to Rhade, and breathing rather heavily spoke right to his face. "I'm only going to say this once, but I'll do it slowly so your Uber mind can comprehend it. Leave me the hell alone!"
Gritting his teeth to suppress the urge to pound Harper, Rhade looked him straight in the eyes and tried again. "Harper, you're sick, which is why I'm going to overlook that. I'm going to take you to the crew quarters until Dylan gets here." He reached to take the younger man by the arm.
"Get your filthy hands off of me!" Harper jumped back, and grabbed the first weapon he saw, which happened to be a piece of wood. Swinging with as much force as his cloudy mind could supply, he aimed for Rhade's side. Rhade grabbed the wood one-handed and jerked it from Harper's grasp, throwing it out of reach. "When I get my hands on you, stupid Uber, I'll..."
"Tell me another one." He grabbed Harper's hand as he threw a punch, and holding onto it, jerked it behind Harper's back and pressed him face first into the wall, using his body to pin the smaller man. His futile struggles and death threats only serving to drain his energy. He felt Harper's muscle's start to relax, but whether it was from exhaustion or the illness, he didn't know. "Are you through?"
"When I get my hands on that nano welder..." he trailed off, eyes starting to lose focus.
"Come on, Harper. Let's get you settled before company gets here." Not wanting Harper to come to and attack a refugee, or hurt himself, Rhade decided it would be best to restrain him with something. The only things in the immediate vicinity were the plastic cable ties. He shuddered to think of the damage those would cause to Harper's wrists should he struggle, so he opted for a coil of thick electrical wire. He laid Harper on the deck on his stomach and tied his hands behind his back, and shifted him over to the railing and tied the other end of the wire to it, leaving only three inches room for Harper to move his hands.
"Ahem." Rhade turned and found Beka with her hands on her hips, an annoyed look on her face. "Is that necessary? This is Harper here. I don't think he's that much of a threat."
Rhade gave the wire a final tug to make sure it was secure. "You have no idea. Mind you, on a good day he still wouldn't pose much of a threat, but this illness causes violent, irrational behaviour. I'm not taking any chances. We might be able to physically overcome him, but he could still damage the ship or hurt himself."
Beka didn't enjoy seeing Harper tied up like an animal, but knew Rhade was right. The young man was currently mumbling and pulling weakly against the wires, eyes drifting open and closed.
"Keep an eye on him for a minute. I'm going to command to speak with Dylan."
Alone with her wayward engineer, Beka took a seat on the deck beside him, but still out of reach should he decide to kick at her. "Harper, I'm not sure if you can hear me or not, but I'm sorry. For all of us. We've treated you horribly since arriving here, and you've done nothing to provoke it." His only response was a groan and shift in position.
"Beka." Rhade's grainy voice over the comm system derailed her train of thought. "Dylan's ready for us."
She smiled sadly at Harper before getting up and heading for the cockpit.
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
"Where is he?" Dylan asked once all the refugees had been settled.
"Rhade tied him to the railing in engineering. He was out of it last time we checked."
Dylan appeared to digest this information before indicating for them to lead the way. He carried the small container of salve and hoped it would work. By the sounds of it, Harper's illness was fairly advanced. Yelling and swearing could be heard clearly floating out from behind the steel door to engineering. Sounded like Harper had woken up.
He wasn't particularly surprised that Harper was tied up, it was the force with which he fought the restraints that was disturbing. Harper's eyes were glassy and unfocussed, but he was conscious enough to know they were there and start yelling profanities at them.
"Rhade, hold his legs so I can apply this. I'm going to lie him on his side so I want you to hold his shoulders down Beka. This has to be applied wherever the rash is, and I don't want him head butting or trying to bite me." He turned his attention to Harper. "Harper? I've got something for that rash, but you have to let me touch you to apply it." He wasn't expecting him to agree, but wanted him to know what was going to happen.
"Go to hell you stupid spacers! Especially you, Uber!"
Rhade held the engineers legs while Dylan pushed him onto his side, ignoring the hurtful words spewing from his mouth. He started by applying the cream to the visibly affected areas on his neck and arms. Pulling up his shirt, he winced when he saw the full extent of the rash.
"Easy, Harper," Beka soothed as Harper threw his upper body back and forth, trying to break free of her grip.
Working quickly, he liberally rubbed the cream into the skin of his back, chest and stomach. Harper flinched from his touch as he rubbed the cream into the open sores, but he stomped his feelings of guilt and kept going. It had to be done.
"There. All finished, Harper." He backed away and Beka and Rhade released him. "It'll take a few hours, but he'll be all right."
o-o-o-o-o-o-o
Beka made her way back to engineering after finishing with the off loading of the miners. It had taken three hours to transport them, but she was never more grateful to get a load of people off her ship. Various pieces of garbage and discarded items coated the floors, and anything belonging to her that had been sitting out had been knocked over from the ship being so overcrowded.
She tensed as she approached engineering, expecting to hear yelling. Instead, she was greeted by silence. Feeling encouraged, she opened the door and relaxed when she saw Harper lying bonelessly on the deck, either asleep or unconscious; she couldn't tell.
"Harper?" she quietly called. He stirred and slowly opened his eyes. "Harper? Can you hear me?"
"Beka?" he whispered. He gaze was still unfocussed, but it had lost that dangerous glint.
"How are you feeling?" she asked as she knelt down next to him. She wanted to be sure he was better before untying him.
"Like I've been standing behind the Maru's engines during take off. What happened?" A frown washed over his face as he tried to move his hands but found he couldn't. "Why am I tied up?"
"Long story short? You contracted an illness causing general insanity and nastiness. I didn't think that tying you up was totally necessary, though. You're not much of a threat as it is." She immediately regretted her words as that hurt look she'd come to know too well appeared. Damn. She'd done it again. When did it become so easy for her to hurt the people she loved? "Oh, Harper. I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to say that."
"You didn't have to. I know how you feel about me. Just untie me so I can get out of here."
She leaned over him and had to use her knife to cut through the wire. Rhade had tied an impossibly tight knot. Harper's wrists were a multitude of blues, purples and reds. She gently touched his wrist, but he jerked out of her reach and sat up, rubbing the circulation back into them.
"Harper, please stay and let me explain. We really need to talk." She stood up and offered him a hand. Ignoring her proffered hand, he shakily got to his feet and started shuffling towards the door. "Harper! Where are you going?"
"Home," was his simply stated answer. She didn't know what hurt more. The fact he was walking out on her, or that he no longer considered the Maru home.
o-o-o-o-o-o
"Let me past, Doyle. I have to speak with him." Beka was face to face with the android. She'd learned that it was not only impossible to match wits with an android, but even harder with one Harper had built. She wasn't going to let that stop her.
"Why? So you can push him around and demean him? He doesn't want to see you."
"Listen, Doyle. I don't need you telling me what I can and can't do with my own crew!"
"Crew!?" Doyle incredulously exclaimed. She accented that statement with a short laugh. "If this his how you normally treat your crew, I'd hate to see how you treat them on a bad day!"
"What do you know, Doyle. I've spent the past three months doing things I never though I'd do to survive. It was hell!"
"And Harper's spent the past three years doing the exact same thing! You don't see him treating his former crew mates like dirt. In fact, he's the only one of you with a sense of decency. I can't blame him for wanting to isolate himself from the likes of you."
"Harper grew up on earth. He's..."
"Don't you dare say used to it. I've watched him suffer for the past three years. I've heard him wake up in the night screaming from one of a variety of recurring nightmares he has. I've seen him withdraw and not speak for days because he believed all his friends had died. I've nursed his wounds when he came back beaten for trying to get food. I've watched his physical condition frequently deteriorate from malnutrition and depression. So don't you dare tell me he's used to living in poverty. No one gets used to it."
Beka could feel the fight draining out of her. She knew exactly what Doyle was talking about. Harper had been the same way when she'd found him on earth. Before she could say anything in her defense, the door behind Doyle opened, and Harper's defeated voice could be heard.
"It's all right, Doyle. She can come in."
Doyle's jaw clenched, but she stepped aside.
Harper's little room was just as Beka had expected. A small bed with a lumpy mattress sat against one wall, and the rest of the room was filled with various unfinished projects and tools. It was strangely reminiscent of his room on the Andromeda.
"How are you feeling?" She decided to open the conversation with a neutral topic. Hopefully, Harper wouldn't become defensive right off.
"Save it, Beka. I know you really don't care. Just say what you came here to say so I can assuage your conscience for you, then run back to your precious Maru." He picked up his tools from the floor so he'd have something other to do than look at Beka.
"That's not fair, Harper."
"Fair?! You want fair?! How about you sitting with Dylan and Rhade while two guys beat the crap out of me. How about pushing me out of the way like I'm totally worthless, or not defending me when Rhade referred to me as a kludge! The last thing I need is a lecture from the Beka Valentine School of Fairness."
"I thought you were dead. The last image of you I had in my mind was of you hiding in that tunnel from the Magog and scared out of your mind. I thought you'd died the type of death that haunted your dreams every night on the Maru, and it damn near killed me, Harper."
"Funny thing, me too."
She ignored his sarcastic comment and continued. "I found I didn't care about anything anymore except survival. I changed, and not for the better. You can only imagine my shock when I saw you alive."
"You have a strange way of showing that you care about me."
"I know. You know I have a hard time opening myself up to people. I've been betrayed by so many people that have I've trusted; Bobby, Rafe, you get the idea. I decided it wasn't worth it anymore. After I thought you had died I just went through the motions, prepared never to open up to anyone again. Then when I saw you alive, it was such a shock, I just couldn't open up again. I just need time."
"That doesn't explain why everyone else is treating me so badly. It hurts, Beka." Harper sat down on the bed and Beka joined him.
"You're right, Harper. There's no excuse for it. I hope you'll give me a chance to make it up to you."
He eyed her for a moment before replying. "And if you blow it again can I sic Doyle on you?"
Beka's smile widened, and it was the best thing Harper had seen in three years.
o-o-o-o-o-o
Outside the door, Doyle smiled to herself and walked away. There was still a lot of healing to do, but it was a start.