I can't just make this feeling go away. I've tried. People say that you have to act one way. Belong to one group but what does that mean? Devote your life for the happiness and prosperity for others? Some of those want to abuse you. Who doesn't? My Father believed in the way of the Dark Lord. Only his demented pureblood insanity theories are the way to live. The 'bible', as Muggles would say, to the Dark Lord. Ha, muggles. What should I know of them. Foul creatures only meant to prove that we, wizards, are truly the superior creatures. To rule over them is the way The Dark Lord wishes. Sounds like the makings of a world wide dictator, only far more foul. The muggle rulers never had the unforgivable curses to deal with. Maybe we are the superior race, but to be ignorant to all of the other possibilities in this world sounds like a much happy life than this. This is Hell. Worse because I am still alive. Alive to serve the Dark Lord. My Father's rule in our manor has always been to promote the dark arts. Why would he live to only serve others? Doesn't he see the insanity in all of it. Even if "our side" were to prevail what would that get him? Power? Power over whom or what? He will always be a humble servant. Voldemort's plan is that of immortality. What then could Father possibly hope for? He'd never get the opportunity to be this "world's dictator". Only the second hand man. And that is the exact job that all the other of the Dark Lords servants are striving for. The easy life which only comes through the worst price imaginable. Time, effort and death. Is this all worth death? The lose of human emotions to fumble through this world with a carelessness that only humans can possibly posses. How many have died to stop him from coming into power and how many more will it take to battle in each side until the true outcome. And when it comes it will be drastic. Only power will separate the two sides. This is not the time to side step with both. You pick a side and you stay. If you're not part of the dark you are part of the light and that's worse then suicide. You'll get tourched into within the last of your breath, only to be revived and live through it once more. No, In this age you pick aside. And you stay with it. And that is why I am a spy. My one true love has all that is enough for me to use myself in the war for the "good". He will be my only salvation. If I please him only once in my lifetime then my life was the fullest I ever could have hoped. My Harry. He's my only reason for life in this war. If it weren't for him I would be amongst the newest age of true Death Eaters. I would be passionate and truly live to kill off anyone who stood in my way. But my love helped me open my eyes to the true world around. The only time worth living is now, and for love. This is my story. My love. My hatred. My Betrayal.