Disclaimer: Love Live and Wicked not mine ^_^
"I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this. I can't do this!" Umi kept chanting as she crouched in one corner of the dressing room, hands covering her face.
"Umi-chan! Stop that or you'll ruin your make up!" I heard Kotori scold my blue-haired senior, and I just rolled my eyes and fixed my wig, my make-up already perfect.
It's the school festival, and, aside from performing as µ's, we also decided to stage a play as part of our group's activities. Instead of writing our own play though, we chose to reenact a musical instead, and Wicked was chosen via draw. Of course, it'll just be an abridged version of the original since there's only nine of us and time constraints' an issue. And since majority of us wanted to, somehow, do this particular masterpiece some justice, it was a unanimous decision to give the group's top three singers the lead roles of Elphaba, Galinda, and Fiyero, while the other six do double duties for multiple short roles.
Predictably, Nico-chan wouldn't be Nico-chan if she didn't argue her way in to Elphaba's role. Everybody in µ's were good singers, but she just didn't have that much of an impact to take the lead. Naturally, I told her that up front, resulting in a shouting match between the two of us which gained us a time out from practice, courtesy of Eli. In the end, it was decided that Eli would take the role of Fiyero because of her charm and good looks, I would take Galinda because I'm "too full of myself," as Nico-chan put it, and Umi would take Elphaba because of her serious personality. Eli and I didn't have any objections about it. I mean, I was meant for that role, obviously, but it was a given that Umi would react violently on taking center stage, and she wasn't ashamed to voice out her objections.
It was a struggle at first, but Umi was, first and foremost, a dedicated person, and she really hated to disappoint anybody in the long run, so we finally got her to concede to doing it (mostly because Kotori and Hanayo gave her their dreaded puppy eyes). After all the drama, it's finally the day of the play and we're about to go on in twenty minutes, given that someone could talk some sense into Umi and snap her back from her worked up state.
Only five minutes until show time and I could still hear Umi mumbling to herself. I stood up and was about to go talk to her when I noticed that Eli was also headed her way. I stood back and watched them interact, Eli whispering what I assumed were words of reassurance to get Umi to relax. After a while, Umi's head looked up and I finally got to see her smile for the first time this day, a blush adorning her face. I frowned. I mean, I was glad that Umi seemed to have calmed down a bit, but I wasn't sure why I found it curiously disturbing that whatever Eli said made her blush like that. Seeing the two together made me uncomfortable for some reason, which was weird because I knew how close they were to begin with. I didn't have the time to ponder on it though because I heard Hanayo yell at us to get ready. I spared one last glance towards Umi, and coincidentally, she was looking at me, too, and we shared a secret smile, my own nervousness ebbing away. Umi always had that effect on me, and I noticed that I didn't mind it. We took our places on stage, and I felt Umi's hand enclose on mine tightly before letting go as the curtain came up.
So far, so good. We're two-thirds into the play, and I couldn't be happier that we're almost finished. My smile faded, though, as I realized what the next scene was. To be honest, I was really apprehensive when we talked about which scenes to focus on, and when majority of the group approved of doing this particular scene without any edits, I wanted to voice out my disagreement. But when I saw how excited Honoka, Kotori, Nozomi, and Hanayo were, I sullenly kept my thoughts to myself. The lights went on again, and I had no choice but to watch, a bitter taste in my mouth.
Kiss me too fiercely
Hold me too tight
I need help believing
You're with me tonight.
Umi started the song as she walked towards Eli slowly, and If I didn't know any better, I'd say sensually as well, as her hand lifted up to stroke Eli's face.
My wildest dreamings
Could not foresee
Lying beside you
With you wanting me
Eli reciprocated by reaching for Umi, showing how she slid her hands from her hips before locking them in place on her waist, squeezing them unnecessarily. My eyes narrowed.
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
I've lost all resistance
And crossed some borderline
Eli fully wrapped her arms around Umi in a tight embrace as they gazed into each other's eyes intently. Umi then nestled her head on the crook of Eli's neck, Eli slightly swaying them in a light dance. I gritted my teeth in silent irritation.
And if it turns out
It's over too fast
I'll make every last moment last
As long as you're mine
They continued to sway to the music. Umi looked up and the two, again, stared at each other, Umi's hands cupping Eli's face, her fingers ghosting over every detail in a soft caress.
Maybe I'm brainless
Maybe I'm wise
But you've got me seeing
Through different eyes
Eli took Umi's hands and boldy kissed them before singing her part, then slowly led her towards the mattress set up for this scene. My eyes widened in surprise, the others around me doing their best to stay quiet and control their amusement.
Somehow I've fallen
Under your spell
And somehow I'm feeling
It's up that I fell
Eli helped Umi sit down on the mattress and sat on it herself, the two not breaking their eye contact. My hands clenched into tight fists, keeping myself from shaking.
Every moment
As long as you're mine
I'll wake up my body
And make up for lost time
The two sang in duet, their voices in perfect sync, as Eli slowly moved her hand up and down Umi's arm. From where I was standing, I could clearly see how affected Umi was, her blush apparent, yet tried to pay it no mind and continued singing.
Say there's no future
For us as a pair
And though I may know
I don't care
Eli, again, took Umi in her arms, and slowly adjusted her so that Umi was kind of like straddling Eli (hopefully for the audience's sake), Umi's hands stroking Eli's neck gently. At this point, I was trying very, very hard to contain myself from showing any violent reactions. I backed away from the others so that they wouldn't see how seeing those two like that's affecting me.
Just for this moment
As long as you're mine
Come be how you want to
And see how bright we shine
They continued to stare at each other as they sang their hearts out, and I couldn't help but wonder if what I was witnessing at that moment was still part of the show, or something more real.
Borrow the moonlight
Until it is through
And know I'll be here
Holding you
As long as you're mine
Umi placed her arms around Eli's neck and brought her closer, Eli's arms embracing Umi, as the two finished their song. At the back of my mind, I wished I took Fiyero's role instead. I guess I was so out of it that I didn't notice Nico-chan beside me, telling me to get ready for the next act. I snapped out of my stupor and took a deep breath, Umi and Eli's smiles haunting me for the rest of the day as they wrapped up their scene.
Eli:
What is it?
Umi:
It's just...for the first time...
I feel...wicked.
"Oh my gosh, you guys were awesome!"
"Can I please have your autograph?"
"Please take a picture with me!"
The huge reception of the play was something I didn't expect, to be honest. I mean, yes, I'm sure we did great and that people would want an autograph or two, but this much? Lots of people waited for us after the show, and it went a little crazy for a while, especially after Umi and Eli walked out from behind the stage. Apparently their little lovey dovey scene was a big hit, and made them even more popular than they already were. I wouldn't be surprised if the two of them received tons of love letters before this day ended.
"Maki-chan! The crowd's dying down, most of them are now over there hounding Umi-chan and Eli-chan. Nozomi-chan said to pack up and head back to the club room first before we can check the other clubs," Hanayo said, so I went with her, Rin, and Honoka, who's dragging a sulking Nico-chan (probably because only three people asked for her autograph), backstage. I looked back for a bit to try and locate Umi, but she was still swallowed by a good number of people along with Eli, so I just sighed and went on ahead.
We finished packing up then lounged around the club room waiting for Umi and Eli to return. Honoka and Rin were getting antsy, so they, along with Nico, Hanayo, and Kotori, went ahead to enjoy the festival. We still had three more hours before we perform again as µ's, so they want to make the most of the time we had. I would've gone with them, but I wanted to wait for Umi first since I need her for something school idol related. I lightly banged my head on the table, clearly not impressed that I'm just fooling myself. I really just wanted to spend time with Umi, and, for some reason, I really wanted to get her away from Eli.
"Maki-chan, you okay?" I looked up at Nozomi who was looking at me curiously.
"Yeah. I guess I'm just tired from the play," I said nonchalantly.
"You did great, Maki-chan! You, three, did. And it gained us a lot of attention, too, which is good for µ's. What did you think of Elicchi and Umi-chan's performance? Those two were so awkward when we practiced that scene, but they really pulled it off!" Nozomi said, pleased with herself. She was the one who came up with the choreography for that scene, and I just wanted to strangle her for it at that moment.
"Yeah, they did," I answered, trying my best to act indifferent. The door to the clubroom opened and we turned our heads to see two worn out girls, each carrying dozens of sweets and whatnot, most likely from their fans. I straightened myself up as Eli walked towards the table and deposited her stash on top.
"Help yourselves. Save some for the others, though," she said tiredly and slumped down next to Nozomi who just smiled at her before rummaging through the gifts. I stared at Umi who was leaning on the wall with her eyes closed, and, as if on autopilot, I stood and went up to her as her eyes opened and locked on mine. I could tell she was tired as she gave me a small smile, and I reached out and helped her with her load before smiling back.
"You were wonderful, Umi. Great job," I said quietly and her eyes seemed to brighten up, her smile wider.
"So were you, Maki. I'm glad we finally had an opportunity to sing together on stage." My eyes softened as she said that. I turned around just in time to see Eli and Nozomi look away from Umi and me, amused expressions dancing on their faces, and my eyes narrowed slightly at them as I walked towards the table to put down Umi's stuff.
"What?" I asked a bit harshly, a light blush covering my cheeks. Eli just smiled while Nozomi giggled, and my glare intensified, but they just kept quiet.
"Maki, what's wrong?" I took a deep breath and faced Umi, shaking my head.
"Nothing, Umi. Do you want to look around outside or do you want to rest for a bit?"
"Well, I am a bit hungry. I assume the others are already enjoying the festivities. Let me rest for a few minutes then we can go." I nodded my head and sat down beside her. From my peripheral vision, I saw Eli and Nozomi share another amused look then stood up.
"We'll be going first, then. We still need to drop by the student council room. We'll see you, two, later!" Eli said as they left, Nozomi giving me a wink before she closed the door. I rolled my eyes then looked at Umi, her head resting on the table, her breathing even. I took in her calm face then took my phone out and quickly snapped a picture of her.
"When will you ever love me?" I whispered to her longingly.
(Flashback)
"E-excuse me?!"
"You know, I never really like to repeat myself. But since I'm trying to gain something here, I guess this is an exception, so listen carefully. Sonoda Umi, I like you. Not in a "we're friends" kind of like. This is the "let's date" kind. Now, from the look you're giving me, I'm going to assume that you finally understand what I'm trying to say." Judging from Umi's wide eyes and quick breathing that she may go into shock very soon, I carefully approached her then embraced her tightly, trying my best to let her know that I was serious.
Umi stood frozen for a minute or two before she tentatively lifted her arms and hugged me back, then gently pushed me away. She stared at me, and I could see it in her eyes that she was battling some inner turmoil. I knew right then that my feelings weren't reciprocated. I backed up and turned around and was about to leave when she suddenly took my hand. I didn't want to look at her, didn't want to see pity, didn't want to see rejection.
"Maki, please." I sighed. This was a mistake, but I couldn't ignore her when she's like this. I turned back around and looked at her, my eyes dull.
"You don't need to say anything, Umi. I wasn't really expecting anything. This is just a momentary insanity of some sort, and I guess I just wanted to get that off my chest. It's silly, right? I mean, it's obvious you're not interested in these types of things, and I'm sure a relationship isn't a priority for you. This'll grow out of me eventually, maybe even tomorrow!" I cursed internally as she suddenly let go of my hand and stepped back, confusion and hurt evident in her eyes.
"Don't do this to me," she hissed, then quickly gathered her things and left. I didn't chase after her, berating myself for being stupid as I unintentionally filled her mind with doubts and wounded her pride, all in a span of ten minutes. I walked over to the railings of the roof and looked down and saw Umi as she ran away and didn't spare me another glance.
The next day, I gathered all the strength I had and asked her to meet me again on the roof after school. Club activities were suspended since exam week was approaching, so µ's practices were postponed. I heard her open the door but didn't hear any footsteps, so I turned around to look at her, and what I saw made my heart ache.
Umi was just standing there, her hand still on the doorknob, an apprehensive look on her face as if I was going to do or say anything to offend her even more. I took a step in her direction and she took one step back, and I realized then that my feelings for Umi ran deeper than "like" if seeing her act like this towards me hurts like hell. Of course, I tried very hard to not show it.
"Umi, I won't be able to talk to you properly with you all the way there. Just hear me out. Please," I said, my voice slightly cracking at the end. She still looked like she was ready to bolt anytime soon, but one of Umi's good points was that she's not one to leave things unfinished, especially if it involves another person she's close to. She slowly walked towards me, her hard eyes never leaving mine as she got close.
"I know I should apologize for yesterday, for confusing you, for hurting you. I guess it's just a defense mechanism of mine. But I won't apologize for liking you, because I really do. Don't ask me when or how or why, because I honestly don't know myself. I just do. I'm sorry for yesterday, I handled it badly. You could say I got scared of you saying how shameless I was or something like that." She was just staring at me, and I blushed and looked away, not wanting to meet her eyes. I heard her approach me, then felt a warm hand cup my face as she gently forced me to look at her. She smiled sadly, and I felt my heart aching all over again.
"Maki, I really don't know what to say. You're right, being in a relationship isn't high on my list right now, but I do appreciate your feelings towards me." Umi took her hand back and gazed out the railings.
"You know, I'm used to dismissing several confessions from different people already. It's not easy, and I don't even know them personally yet I always feel awful for not reciprocating their feelings. I'm not exactly certain of my feelings for you, Maki. You're special to me, not just because you're a friend or a groupmate. You're my confidante, my partner, my go-to person. We've been getting closer still as we continue to write songs together, staying up late for study sessions, or just rant about small things that we're unable to do with anyone else. I don't want to lose whatever it is that we have." She looked back at me and took my hand in hers.
"Please don't take this the wrong way, Maki. Give me time. I'm just not ready yet. I want to make sure that I deserve those feelings. In due time, if I'm ready, I can answer you properly. The last thing I want is to hurt you. I'm not asking you to wait for me, but I need to figure out my feelings first. You understand, right?" I looked at Umi, her eyes shone with worry and apprehension as if it's me who's rejecting her. I smiled. It's so like her to worry about things she's not supposed to, and it just made me like her even more, even if I found it endearingly stupid.
"I'm serious about my feelings for you, Umi. They won't change overnight. Take all the time you need, but you should know by now that I'm not one to simply give up. You're unsure of your feelings for me, so I'll take it upon myself to help you with it. Forgive me for being bold, but starting today, you're officially being courted.
"Maki? Are you sure you're okay? You're awfully quiet today." I deliberately ignored Umi and just kept on walking as I sipped my soda.
"Maki?" I continued to ignore her, and I could sense she was getting a bit annoyed. She stopped abruptly, so I stopped as well, still not looking at her.
"Will you please talk to me? Or even just look at me. I feel like I'm talking to air!" I turned around and looked at her but still didn't say anything. Good thing we walked in to a secluded spot, or else Umi wouldn't dare do anything to bring attention to herself.
"If you're going to be like this, I'll just leave you be, since it looks like I'm just a bother to you," she exclaimed as she turned on her heel then walked away. I didn't go after her, but I did feel guilty for upsetting her. I sat down on a nearby bench, lifted my legs and placed my head on my bent knees. I didn't know how much time passed, but I only moved from my position when I felt someone sit beside me and a familiar weight was placed on my head. I looked up and saw Umi next to me, a frown marred her lovely face and worry swirled in her amethyst eyes.
"Maki, please talk to me. Did something happen? Did I do something wrong?" Even when she's uneasy, she still looked beautiful. I knew that it's wrong to have those thoughts when she's obviously stressed out for my sake, but I couldn't really help myself for thinking how adorable she's being. I placed my legs down and leaned heavily on her. She froze for a few seconds then relaxed as her hands grabbed onto mine.
"I'm sorry. I'm being stupid. I'm just having a moment of insecurity, which is unlike me, I know," I vaguely said. I felt her sigh heavily against me.
"That doesn't really explain why you're being so exasperating. Care to share? In detail, if you don't mind." I giggled a bit at that. Blunt as always, yet always willing to lend an ear. That's so like her. I reluctantly pulled away from her and stared straight forward, not having the courage to look at her lest I lose my nerve.
"You were really magnificent during the play. Never thought you had it in you to perform so boldly. And I'm also really glad to have shared the stage with you. Thing is, I feel I'm not the only one." From my peripheral vision, I could see the confusion in Umi's face.
"You know how I feel about you. It's been three months since I confessed. I said that you could take all the time you needed to sort out your feelings for me, and I meant it. I-it's just, well, I didn't take into account that you may like someone else. When I saw you perform with Eli, you looked so at ease with her, so comfortable, especially when she held you. At that time, I wasn't sure if you're just that good of an actress or you really enjoyed having her all over you." I stood up and clenched my fists, then went and stood in front of her, my eyes tearing a bit.
"It's frustrating, because no matter how confident I may be, when it comes to you, I become vulnerable. How can I ever compete with Eli? Your relationship with her is different from your relationship with me, I know. I was the one who confessed, and now, I'm the one who's trying to make you fall for me, but that doesn't change the fact that there's a possibility that you'd rather be with someone like her than with me, and it's driving me crazy!" I wanted to run away, but Umi suddenly reached out and grabbed my hands to prevent me from leaving. I could see the battle raging inside her reflected in her eyes, and I just wanted to kick myself for putting her through this.
"What do you want from me, Maki?" She whispered as she continued to stare at me. I didn't hesitate in answering.
"I want your love, Umi. But I'm not going to force you into giving it to me. I don't want to give you up, and I'll pursue you no matter how long, but if there's even the slightest possibility that you like someone else, I'll stop. I don't want to make you uncomfortable, and I will never make you choose. I just need to know if I still have a shot." I freed my hands from her grasp and cupped her face.
"I love you, Umi. I didn't expect my feelings for you to run this deep, but it did. I'll continue to pursue you, because I want you to know that I am dead serious. You're the only one who can tell me to stop. I will never pressure you into answering me if you're not ready. Just let me love you for now, I'm okay with that." I leaned down and kissed her forehead, then straightened up. I took her hand in mine and pulled her up and gave her a reassuring smile. I jumped when she suddenly hugged me, her voice on my neck making me shiver.
"Thank you, Maki. For everything. I don't deserve you, but nevertheless, thank you for being patient with me. I'll get there. In fact, I think I'm already on my way." My eyes widened and my pulse raced, and, as she pulled me along towards the club room, I swore my smile was permanently plastered on my face the rest of the day.
A/N: I honestly don't know what came over me when I started this, but I'm on a Wicked high since they're going to be performing here again and I can't wait to watch it (again). I am not entirely sure if I'll stop here or write another chapter for this particular story, but since this is some sort of Wicked "tribute" (I really don't know if I should call it that since I didn't exactly base this story around the song), expect another short story soon, with a different song. O_o okay I'm getting confused. Anyway, thanks for reading! ^_^