Chapter 1

The explosion from General Franky sent a small shockwave through the sand dunes, displacing the coarse substance with a dramatic bang. Sanji glanced to the east, noting that the attack had not only protected Usopp and Nami, but it had also knocked back the growing horde of enemies. With his concern quelled, Sanji returned to his own opponent, even if said opponent was boring him to death.

His adversary was a large, burly man with a scarred up face and a too-tight leather outfit. Sanji would be forever haunted by his hairy belly peeking out from under his vest, little dark hairs wet with sweat and grime. The guy apparently had some kind of devil fruit that allowed his skin to harden, or something along those lines. The Straw Hat cook could not remember the details, let alone what it was called, and, to be honest, he had not really been paying attention during the initial speech.

All Sanji knew was that the bandit thought that he was hot shit, and that Sanji could not give two fucks about this fight. The fact that they were fighting anyone was kind of an annoyance to begin with.

The strange little island was mostly rolling hills of sand, only being broken up by a curly topped mountain in the very middle. Its strange shape had automatically sparked a series of jokes from various crewmates, as they compared it to Sanji's eyebrows. Looking back, it was clearly a bad omen. He should have known that nothing good would come from this shitty desert rock.

Originally, they had just gone ashore to explore and resupply, if possible, and in the process had discovered that the island was actually the base for some crazy group of bandits (or something). The bandits (or whatever they considered themselves) apparently did not take well to trespassing, and had come out of the mountains like a swarm of angry insects. It had not taken much to beat them back, allowing the Straw Hats a brief reprieve to reevaluate their plan.

Luffy had, of course, already accepted the unspoken challenge, and ordered the crew to return and "kick their asses!". Nami had argued against this plan until she realized that, during the initial skirmish, some of the bandits had snuck aboard and stolen their meager collection of gold. This was obviously unacceptable. The realization that they were now even more poor than usual urged a lightning fast change of heart, and the pirates ended up charging back to the dunes where a literal army had been awaiting them.

Sanji was still baffled as to how that many idiots had managed to gather together, and survive, the New World. Safety in numbers should only get one so far.

The Straw Hats had split up pretty quickly, finding their own opponents with ease, per the usual routine. Sanji had seen Luffy gomu gomu no rocket into the mountain a few minutes before, and he knew that Zoro had disappeared right after the battle began. He assumed that meant Zoro had gotten lost, though he had faith that the mossheaded idiot would find something to kill. They really were surrounded, so there was no shortage of bandit fighting options. While the enemy might have been hoping to go for an intimidation tactic by swarming the small crew, it failed due to the fact that they were ridiculously weak.

Speaking of weak...

"You fight with your legs, eh?" The man observed with a haughty tone, his skin turning a gunmetal grey. "Well, your kicks won't mean shit against my Iron Hide technique!"

Oh right, Sanji mused, now remembering the enemy's previous boastings, the Iron Iron fruit.

"Yeah, whatever," Sanji replied, his attention on patting down his jacket, searching for his smokes. The sound of a distance explosion went ignored by the two men, windblown sand swirling around them like tiny, angry bees.

The man sneered down at the Straw Hat cook, apparently offended by the blond's clear disinterest. "You should be afraid, little man," He threatened, which went ignored like everything else he had said since the fight began. "You know why?" He asked, pausing a moment before his eyes twisted with lecherous intent, his grin revealing yellowed teeth, "Because once I'm done with you, I'm gonna have some fun with those beautiful ladies down there. I bet I can satisfy them better than your puny ass ever could."

Sanji froze in his hunt for nicotine, his face cast in shadow as he moved on reflex. One second, he was standing a short distance away from the huge bandit, and the next he was directly in front of him. The man had no time to react before a black leg sent him flying. He slammed into one of the dunes a few hundred meters away, groaning in confusion and pain. Blood was trickling from his mouth, internal damage having clearly been dealt despite his armor.

The dune crumbled from where he landed, sand rushing past him as he struggled to sit up, clearly dazed by pain and confusion. He blinked stupidly, trying to get his bearings. Once he managed to focus, he choked on a shocked gasp, his eyes wide as they spotted Sanji in the air above him, with a flaming leg raised to strike. The bandit stumbled to his feet, scrambling to gather a defensive maneuver.

"Diable Jambe-" Sanji began, a dangerous scowl darkening his features despite the firelight radiating from his inflamed limb. The effect gave him the appearance of some demon birthed from the depths of hell, and, for all intensive purposes, that was exactly what he was to the soon-to-be-defeated bandit.

"Iron Hide Double!" The large man yelled in panic, his skin seeming to get coated with an extra layer of the dark metal.

Desperation leaked from the weaker man, only serving to awaken the predator that resided in the blond pirate. Dark blue eyes gleamed with bloodlust. A hunter and his prey.

Trembling in the face of the monster before him, the bandit cried out, "Iron Hide Triple!" The added defense meant very little to the infamous Blackleg Sanji, who declared his attack name with a venomous growl. His flames roared like a primal beast.

"Mouton Shot!"

When his shoe struck, the air was filled with the sound of cracking metal and bones. The kick easily shattered the armoured skin, making the man scream as he was once again sent crashing into and through a long series of sand dunes. Smoke and sand filled the air as he flew, limbs flapping limply as he burst through one hill and into the next.

When he finally slid to a halt, his eyes were staring, glassy and unseeing, at the cloudy sky, and his chest looked like a charred and burned piece of toast. Smoke sizzled from where the black foot had connected, his clothing scorched, and his metal skin melted.

Sanji landed, as if he had not just dealt a devastating blow, hand immediately fishing into his inner pocket and retrieving his cigarettes. He lit one up, studying his annoying, and very much defeated, opponent. Despite his rage at the threat towards his precious ladies, Sanji had held back enough to prevent killing the man. However, it was hard to tell his restraint based on the visible wounds. The fiery kick had sent cracks through the Devil Fruit user's iron skin, leaving behind harsh burns and bloody rivulets.

"What a joke," He huffed after blowing out a stream of smoke.

He took another drag off of the cigarette as he climbed the slope of the nearest dune, adjusting his shirt collar, which had been ruffled during his attack. The sand shifted under his weight, a constant nuisance to his movements. The annoying grit was clinging to his hair, and he could feel it rubbing in the confines of his clothing. Sanji was seriously sick of this island. Frowning, he stopped at the top of the hill and surveyed the dying battle down below.

The Straw Hats were easily subduing the enemy. In fact, they seemed to be having fun, except for Nami, who looked pissed and a little evil as she interrogated a man trapped by Robin's many arms. Sanji then turned to study the mountainside. It was the only piece of the island that seemed to have plant life on it, besides the treeline that followed the shore, and the angry looking forest did a good job of hiding the various entrances to the bandit group's tunnel system.

With nicotine seeping into his bloodstream, Sanji glared at the swirled mountaintop, remembering Zoro's teasing sneer as he made the first comparison that had set off the running gag. The memory triggered other lines of thought, all of which led back to the marimo. I sure hope the bastard didn't get himself lost in there, Sanji mused. If Zoro had gotten lost, the blond knew he would be the one who would have to track him down, which was not exactly at the top of his want-to-do list. What a pain. Those thoughts were interrupted by an explosion amongst the stubby trees. He looked up in time to see shrubs flying against a smoky backdrop.

And that would be Luffy.

Before he could go check on his captain, who was no doubt having the time of his life, Sanji caught sight of something out of the corner of his eye. In the distance, there was a flash of green against the lifeless beige of the desert, followed by the sharp glare of light reflecting off of steel. The cook let out a long stream of smoke as he turned to let his gaze settle on the fight going on between two swordsmen, one of them being none other than the shitty marimo.

Like a cat would play with a mouse, Zoro toyed with his opponent. The simplest of movements by the green-haired pirate were forcing the other man to struggle for his life. The bandit's strikes were panicked and pointlessly violent, and it took no effort for the Straw Hat swordsman to bat away the sloppy attacks, his expression clearly revealing his boredom. Sanji noted that his rival had not even bothered to draw two of his three blades, instead settling for just the Kitetsu. Blasts of sand plumed around the two men, displaced by each re-directed sword blow. Zoro let this go on for a few more strikes, and then his neutral features slowly mutated into a demonic smirk.

Knowing the end of a duel when he saw one, Sanji's attention was easily led to focus on other things, things like the way Zoro's blue shirt was unbuttoned, revealing his muscular chest and firm abdomen. Or the way his biceps flexed under tan skin as he shifted into a stance that Sanji knew would be the finishing blow. He had seen that pose many times, recognized it from countless battles.

The cook wanted to stay and watch, but he knew better, so Sanji forced himself to continue searching for Luffy. It would only cause awkwardness if Zoro caught him oogling, and awkwardness was something that Sanji was tired of dealing with.

It had been a few weeks since that night in the galley, when the two Straw Hat rivals had breached their hate-bond in favor of a drunken fuck. The next morning had been uncomfortable, neither wanting to bring it up with the other. After the expected, initial awkwardness, Sanji had hoped that they could have discussed it and gone back to hating each other, or, if he was lucky, a potential round two. But for the first few days, the green-haired pirate hardly acknowledged Sanji's existence. Their daily spats had disappeared and it was difficult to find them in the same room unless the majority of the crew was there to serve as a buffer.

However, after a week, things settled back down, much to the relief of the rest of the crew. Their friends were just glad that things were finally going back to normal, even though they were completely unaware of what had caused the problem in the first place.

But Sanji knew that things between him and Zoro would never return to normal.

At least, not for him anyway.

No matter how much he tried, Sanji could not forget that night. Could not forget the way Zoro's hands gripped his hips, or the way his groan sent chills down his spine. How his caramel skin had tasted of steel and the salty spray of the sea, or how his kiss had been accented with the dry flavor of sake.

The sights and sounds of their encounter were burned into Sanji's brain. There was no going back to normal for him.

As for Zoro, the man seemed as disinterested as he had been before their unexpected one night stand. The only time he paid any attention to Sanji was when they were fighting each other over something stupid, a fact that was beginning to drive the blond crazy. No matter how he assessed it, he was left baffled. He knew that Zoro was a difficult man to affect but come on!

The night before they landed on Shitty Bandit Island, Sanji had officially decided to move on, and treat Zoro like he had from day one. No more mental or emotional wondering, no more pointless pining after a thoughtless piece of kelp. The love-cook was going to close that door for good. But standing on that sandy hill and seeing the bastard fight all sexy and powerful was making that decision a difficult one to keep in effect.

Sanji knew that he would have to get over it, because their pirating adventures provided plenty of sexy fighting opportunities, so he was never going to escape catching the warrior in arousing action.

Grinding his cigarette between his teeth, Sanji shoved his hands into his pockets and turned his back to the infuriating swordsman. If Zoro was going to ignore what happened between them, then he would ignore him right back. He could totally do that. All he had to do was direct his anger and make it a driving force in this unspoken competition. Easy.

With this as his motivation, Sanji went in search of his idiot captain with renewed vigor, putting the green-haired man out of his thoughts. It was naturally not hard to find Luffy. All one had to do was follow the path of destruction, and the rubber-man would eventually appear. So, after spitting out his chewed up smoke, the cook located ground zero.

The boss fight seemed to have started within the tunnels, but now there was a massive hole in the mountainside and Luffy was fighting a giant of a man amongst the rubble. The fight was clearly one-sided, as all of the fights had been that day, and the young brunette pirate was laughing as he dodged punch after punch from the spiked fists of the bandit leader. Sanji shook his head in annoyance when Luffy's trademark 'shishishi' could be heard echoing off of the rocky terrain.

"Moron," The blond sighed as he lit up a new cigarette, one hand raised to block the wind from blowing out the tiny flame. When the end caught, Sanji sucked in deeply, letting the nicotine spread throughout his system with its familiar calm. He rolled his shoulders, noting their tension, and then sighed out a stream of smoke, feeling some of his stress release in the exhale.

Sanji was in the middle of putting his lighter back into his pocket when he sensed another idiot approaching from his right. He glanced up, the red ember of his cigarette lighting up his bored gaze, and caught Zoro's brief nod as he stopped a short distance away. His arms were crossed in casual boredom as he watched their captain's fight. The blond nodded back, but forced himself to focus on the smoke filling his lungs, and not his annoyance with the swordsman's lack of interest. I really gotta get over this.

Thankfully, the fight did not take much longer, and soon Luffy was standing victorious as the rest of the crew arrived to inquire about their stolen gold. Everyone was coated with sweat and sand, the island's grit adding to their general irritation. Because of this, the pirates were eager to get back and rinse off, however, there were still some things left to complete. Finding their treasure, for example.

After a quick 'discussion', Nami sent Sanji and Usopp into the tunnels where they easily located the loot, along with some extra. This news made the navigator so excited that she almost gave Sanji a breast filled hug as a reward, but, much to the cook's disappointment, she got distracted and he was left with following the rest of the Straw Hats back to the Sunny. He almost looked as miserable as Chopper, who had been suffering from overheating ever since they landed on the shitty island.

However, their poor moods faded once they got back on the ship. Quick showers quickly washed away their sour auras and reignited their victorious energy. It was not long before the air thrummed with the need for a celebratory party. So, it was no surprise when Luffy bounded up to Sanji, all smiles and stomach growls.

"Sanji! Sanji! Prepare a victory banquet!"

Sanji smirked at his over-excited captain. A party always followed a victory, and it did not matter whether the battle was dangerous or barely constituted as a workout. There was never a bad reason for a party when it came to the Straw Hat pirates. Seeing as how such banquets were common for them, Sanji had been expecting the request. But before he could respond, a frowning Nami appeared as the voice of reason.

"Hold on. How are we on supplies? The next island is nearly a week away."

His smirk turned goofy, earning an annoyed eye-roll from the green-haired swordsman who happened to be walking by. "We have plenty enough to last us two weeks! A banquet shouldn't be a problem, Nami-swan~"

The navigator smiled, "Well then I don't see anything wrong with a party." Naturally, Nami enjoyed them as much as the next nakama, but she was also one of the more responsible members, so she always had to check before allowing herself to have fun. Such a wise and beautiful woman~

Their captain, on the other ironic hand, had no such cares and crowed with delight at the navigator's go-ahead. He was already dancing in circles with Usopp and Chopper, chanting "beach feast".

Shaking his head in amusement, Sanji lit up a fresh cigarette, and turned to head into the galley. His mind was filled with what he had available to cook for his crewmates. Behind him, the rest of the Straw Hats scurried to gather items for the cook-out, Nami directing them so that it was not total chaos. A party is a good way to celebrate a victory, Sanji thought to himself as he passed by a snoring swordsman, and it's also a good way to stay distracted.