Love Is Understanding

Episode Fic: I Will Remember You
Takes Place: After Buffy & Angel experienced the day of Angel's humanity.
Rating: PG
Summary: Love should never remain unsatisfied. Buffy and Angel's love will be satisfied once and for all.

The 24 hours is taken back. Buffy and Angel were standing in his office. Buffy was about to say, "So we've covered it right?" But instead when Buffy & Angel return to that time... she too remembers about the day that never was. She freezes in her place remembering everything they did together. Angel notices that she hasn't said what she said the last time they were like this. He says, "Buffy, are you okay?"
Hearing him speak brings her back into the painful reality. Her eyes began to tear. Angel looked concerned now and sad that something was causing her pain. "Buffy?"
She just turned around and ran out. Angel yelled out to her, "Buffy!" She just kept on running, not looking back.
Buffy went back to her dorm room in tears. "Buffy why are you crying?" Willow asked.
Buffy sat on the bed next to Willow. She rested her head on Willow's lap crying. "When I went to see Angel. . A few images came to me... memories. That time I visited him after Thanksgiving, we were attacked by a morah demon. It got away. We went after it. The demon's blood mixed with Angel's making him human! Later that day we made love. Then went to the Oracles and had them turn back time so that it never happened!" She cried, "He thought it was best for me! I wasn't supposed to remember, but now I do."
"Oh Buffy."
"After those memories flashed before my eyes... I remembered I was talking to Angel. As though none of it happened. It was back to the way it was before Angel was human. I just couldn't stay there. I felt so hurt and... god Willow. He took that day away from me!" She sobbed.
Soon she fell asleep on Willow's lap. She got her under covers.
Angel knocked on their door. Willow slowly got up so as not to disturb Buffy. She opened the door. "Angel."
"Willow, is Buffy here? I need to talk to her."
"She's asleep now. You could stick around till she wakes up though."
"I will thanks." Willow smiled at him. "Uh, Willow?"
"Yeah?"
"When Buffy left she was crying... did she tell you why?" He rubbed his forehead.
"Yeah." Angel gave her a 'can you tell me?' kinda look. "Angel. I can't tell you. It's for her to tell, not me."
"Can you just tell me... was it about me?"
"Men always thinking about themselves." She puffed and then mumbled to herself, "That's why Oz left me."
"I'm sorry." Angel stepped inside.
"Heh, must have said that a little loud. Um... back to your question. It is about you... or rather something that happened between you and her. That's all I'll say." She said quickly.
Angel sat down on the edge of Buffy's bed. Willow fiddled with her fingers and stared at Angel. She looked around the room. Then she sat on her bed. She stood up again and walked around; stopped. She continued staring at Angel, playing with her fingers and biting her lip. Angel looked at her. "You all right?"
"Me? Oh yeah." Willow let out a nervous laugh. "Why wouldn't I be all right." Angel shrugged. Before she could help it she blurted out really fast, "Angel, why did you take back that day with Buffy?" She instantly put her hand over her mouth. "Oops! I shouldn't of said anything."
"What day?" Angel asked although he was pretty sure he knew what day Willow was talking about.
"The day of your humanity. Being with Buffy. Why?"
"Willow I had to. If I remained human one of us would have ended up dead, maybe both or even innocent people. The oracles said so."
"So then it hurt you just as much." Willow sympathized.
"It hurt me more then you'll ever know." His eyes got watery at the memory of him and Buffy in bed.
//She was wearing my black velvet shirt after we made love... sitting in the bed eating ice cream. "The perfect yum. Mmm, this is a dream. You're human for like a minute and already there is Cookie-dough-fudge-mint-chip in the fridge." I fed her the ice cream. Buffy added, "God, I love food."
She fed me some ice cream on a chocolate waffle and I had smiled saying, "Food is good."
Then we kissed. It was beautiful. Magnicant. Her tongue was so warm. "Why didn't you ever tell me about chocolate and peanut butter?" Angel said.
Buffy: "Well, I figured if your vamp taste buds couldn't really savor it, then it would only hurt you, you know? By the way, I'm over the whole needing to be mature thing. That time you just spent in the kitchen? That was enough time apart."
Angel with a smile: "Too much."
We kissed again and some of the ice cream dripped from his spoon on his chest.
Angel: "Okay, mortal coordination leaving something to be desired."
Buffy: "Wrong. It's just right."
Angel laughs as she licks up the ice cream then pulls her down into a kiss. //
 "Angel... hello... earth to Angel." Willow snapped her fingers. "Angel? Are you okay?"
He really only heard his name once as he snapped out of his daze. "Wha- huh? Oh Willow yeah I'm fine. I was just thinking about... um. Nothing."
"What?" Willow prodded. "C'mon you can tell me. I'm Buffy's supportive listening buddy, so I can be yours too. We should really talk more often ya know? We could become chatty soul buddies." She giggled at the thought of her and Angel talking girl and guy talk and just everyday talk. Angel smiled. I knew I could get that smile back. She thought to herself. "So. What were ya thinking?"
"About that day." His smile grew. "We were... we had made love and we were sitting in bed. Eating cookie dough fudge mint chip icecream. Between bites we were kissing and some icecream dripped on me." His grin grew. "She said that it was just right and licked it off my chest and we kissed some more... and well you can probably guess what else happened after that." He laughed. Willow blushed. "Said too much didn't I."
She quickly said, "No. No! You didn't. It was just the way you described it... it sounded so-so romantic, sweet. It's so that Buffy had to forget about that day. But hey she remembers now. Oh that's not exactly a 100% happy thing to think about for her right now. It's... She's a little upset about the whole you turning back the time thing and making her forget that perfect day and now she remembers all of it. It's saddening for her." Willow slapped herself on her forehead lightly. "Dope! I wasn't supposed to say that much! I wasn't supposed to say anything at all." She squeaked.
Angel smiled reassuringly, "Don't worry Will, I won't say anything if you don't. I'll just pretend to prod it out of her as if you never told me."
"Thanks." She smiled. "Well I better go. I want you two to have privacy when she awakens. See ya later."
"Later."

"What Willow?" Buffy asked groggily through a stuffy nose. She got no answer 'cause Willow was already out the door.
"She went out for a while. Hi Buffy." Angel smiled.
Buffy's eyes watered a little. "Angel."
"Hey."
"Angel," she repeated in a smaller voice. "What are you doing here?"
"To see you silly. Why else? Look Buffy, back at the office it just hurt me to see you in pain. I came because I want to know what's causing that pain."
"Why do you want to know?" She stammered.
"Because I care." He said simply.
"Why-why do you... You care?" A tear trickled down her cheek.
"Of course I care Buffy. I love you." Angel moved in closer, wiped her tear away with his thumb and rested his hand on her arm.
Pain suddenly turned to anger as she swiped his arm away from hers. She inched backward. Her voice rised firmly, "You love me and you care for me! So that's why you turned back time so that you were never human? So that us making love never even happened?! You were always the decision maker in our relationship. Forget about what I want. Forget about what I need! Forget!.. forget about what!" she choked out with a sob, "forget about what I - I - I ...love."
Before she knew what she was doing, she had glided into Angel's loving cold, but warm embrace. "Shhh... Shh. God, Buffy. I thought then that you understood why I did it."
"I only said that. I didn't mean it." She sniffed.
"I didn't do it because I didn't want to be with you. I do, Buffy I do. I wished so much that day could keep happening. I didn't want to turn back time. I especially didn't want you to remember because I knew it would hurt so much. You don't deserve to deal with that pain. I did it for because I love you. If I remained human I wouldn't be able to fight by your side. I'd weigh you down. You would probably have to worry about protecting me... saving me from something. And I don't think I could stand waiting around at night to see if you'd come home from a battle. Worrying if something has happened to you. I'd be an even bigger distraction." His eyes began to water.
"I understand that Angel. I do. It's just that... you don't understand me. I'm the Slayer. I've got friends that I trust who have been fighting by my side since I came to Sunnydale. Xander is a human and he fights pretty well in battle. I mean sure maybe occasionally I might need to save his neck, but he does well. And Willow? She's starting to become extremely talented. Her skill with magicks is amazing. Giles fights well too! Actually very well. Plus I've got Tara, Willow's friend who also is a witch and believe it or not, Spike. Sure it's mostly for money and there's that chip is head that won't let him kill humans, but he seems like he'll be helping me in the future. Angel you don't have to worry about me. If we... if we were together even with you as a vampire. Let's say it's daylight and you can't go out, there's a huge battle raging on and I've got to fight in it. You would still worry about me. Don't you get it Angel? I'm the Slayer which puts me in every single creature of darkness, demons, vampires' number one target in their 'let's go kill' record book. I know it's probably too late... um probably not possible to turn back time so that you're human again, but do you think we could maybe go out on a date some time?" She smiled.
He was dumbfounded. Flabbergasted by what she said. She was right. How come he never realized it before? He vampire or human by her side or not, she was still in mortal danger. And she was probably a whole lot safer if he was by her side. How could he have been so blind? "I've been so busy thinking that leaving you would give you the normal life I thought you should have. It's a shame only now I realize how wrong I was. I'm so sorry Buffy. God, I love you so much! I'm sorry for leaving you. Sorry for taking back that day. I guess now we'll just have to saver the memory."
"If it's any consolation Angel, I forgive you. I just glad you finally understand what I've been trying to get through to you. Now, will you go on a date with me or not?" She grinned.
Angel rubbed her back. "Yes, love."
"I love you." Buffy whispered.
"I love you more." Angel grinned.
"No no no Angel. I love you more!" She laughed.
"C'mon. Let's go on our date."
"Excellent idea beloved." Buffy held Angel's hand and pulled him out the door.

One hour later at the expresso pump, Angel watching... envying Buffy as she finished the last of her Mint Vanilla Mocha. "Mmm.. That was good. Haven't had one of those in a long time!" She smiled.
Angel smiled back and started to walk behind Buffy. As he wrapped his arms around Buffy's waist from behind he said, "So, you're my girl now."
"Always." Buffy grinned.
Buffy and Angel kissed passionately. Angel's heart beating as he continued to kiss Buffy. He smiled and she smiled as they expected the wonderful life that would come from Buffy & Angel's hearts. Their hearts pounded in excitement as they engulfed in another passionate kiss.