A few points before we start:

I couldn't stand Breaking Dawn! It's been a year and I'm still not really over it. But it's the reason I met a bunch of really smart women and girls at twilighted(dot)net, so I'm thankful SM threw a hissy fit and made her publishers publish it. I love you all and your remarks and stories helped a lot.

As I've said in my profile, I'm a reader and no writer, but I'm a very logical person and just had to get this out. It's my first attempt at writing and basically about why BD doesn't work, or rather why there can't ever be a working sequel (working in terms of SM and all the fangirls).

This story probably won't have a HEA and no smut, but they won't die, too, so don't worry too much.

My last point: please keep in mind, I'm German. So when you find any grammar or spelling mistakes that bug you, just point them out to me, I'll try to correct everything. I've tried my best with a spell-checker, but these things don't find everything. And if I talk about something that doesn't seem appropriate, tell me, too. Different countries have different habits, so something 'normal' for me might be disturbing for some of you.

So, this is dedicated to all the girls at the Fail Train … Happy Anniversary, cheers and hopefully have fun!

And of course I don't own the characters, they are all Stephenie Meyers ...

The girl in front of the TV looked 13, perhaps 14 years old and really bored. 'Jake!' she called out. A few seconds later a huge man hurried into the room. 'How can I help you, darling?' 'Jake, I'm bored!' 'You could do the homework, Esme gave you. Or would you prefer playing some games or take a walk?' 'I already finished my homework and don't suggest I'd do my multiplication tables … again. I'm feed up with math! And I don't want to play anything, I've played every game at least twice this week and they are all boring!' 'So what do you want to do, honey?' The girl threw a cushion in his direction, but he ducked it. 'You know what I really want to do! I've told you about once a week since I've turned two. I want to meet people outside this family and your pack! I don't want to feel like a caged animal any more!' 'Sweetheart! You know you can't just go out and meet people. You're growing too fast to let anybody outside the family see you long enough to get to know you. They'll notice! And it's just another year, perhaps two. Then you will look like a seventeen year old and that won't change any more.' the boy tried to reason, while putting the cushion back on the sofa casually. 'Yeah and I still have to learn for about five or six more years till I'm at a level to visit highschool without sticking out like a sore thump.' 'Don't worry, baby, after you're grown up you'll never need to sleep again, so you will have lots of additional time to study.' He sat down next to her and took her in his arms. She shrugged him off. 'And that should soothe me, why? I'm still trapped to this town, this family and your pack. I couldn't even invite a friend to my house. How should I introduce the family? Hi, these are my siblings, they are my age, but don't attend school, I'm the only one desperate to leave the house?' 'It will all work out with time. Come on now, I think you're hungry, you're always getting a little crabby when hungry … let's find you a nice deer.' With this he took her hand and dragged her out of the house.

…

After about three hours both returned to the house. 'Are you feeling better, sweetheart?' 'A bit, Jake.' He hesitated. 'I have to return to La Push for a while. Sam wanted to talk about some important tribe stuff … are you ok, when I leave?' 'Of course Jake, I'm a big girl. I can handle being without my babysitter for two hours or so …' 'Sweetie, I'm not your babysitter. You know that.' The girl grimaced. 'What are you then? You're always around, actually more than my parents, and you always try to entertain me.' 'I hope to be your friend now that you're growing up.' he declared, looking deep into her eyes. 'After what I've learned from the TV – I'm not allowed to make any real experiences, but that's ok, isn't it? - friends don't live together in one household, do they?' She flung herself onto the sofa. He made a move to sit next to her again, but taking in her current mode, he changed his mind mid-step. 'I don't live here, you know that, sweetheart.' 'But it's getting close, isn't it? Most of the time you're in this house or at least in the garden.' she huffed, snuggling the cushion to her chest. 'It's just I can't leave you alone for too long, I'm getting antsy when I don't see you for more then a few hours.' 'Ugh, Jake, grow up. You're what now? 21? You should be able to sleep without your favourite stuffed pet.' She threw the cushion away angrily. 'That's below the belt, too … I don't need to be with you to sleep, you know that … I won't fit in your bed anyway.' he tried to lighten the mood. 'But sometimes I get the impression that you're sleeping on my door step. At least you're patrolling in the garden while I'm asleep.' She got up and began pacing the room, just like a caged animal. 'That's just to make sure you're save, sweetheart. Imagine something came over and hurt you while you're sleeping. I can't even stand the thought of it.' He went over to her and tried to take her in his arms, but again she shrugged him off. 'If you wouldn't be in a two-miles range all the time, Alice could actually have visions about me, she would see anything bad coming my way. Perhaps she would even see something funny coming along.' At that thought her face lit up a bit, but that faded away as soon as he made his next point. 'You can't trust Alice's visions. Every time somebody changes their mind, they change, too. And you remember she only sees you from time to time? You're giving her headache!' 'Perhaps only because you're at my side any time? Maybe that's what causes her visions to flicker?' Clearly, the girl wouldn't see reason, so he decided to cut the dispute. 'Be it as it will, I have to leave now. Will you be ok?' 'Of course Jake. As I told you before, I don't need a babysitter anymore …'

…

The girl made sure Jake had left before she stormed up the stairs 'Alice! Where are you?' A small, pixie-like woman opened a door. 'I'm here, little one. What's up?' The girl dragged her back into the room and onto the bed 'Jake is gone for a few hours. Let's talk about our plans …'