In the airport, everyone else watched as Cobb walked away to finally return to his children. Arthur continued to watch as Eames began to say goodbye to everyone.
"Good day, had a lovely time, let's keep in touch," he said quickly, brushing everyone's shoulders. When he came across Arthur, who was only slightly paying attention, he patted his shoulder.
"Goodbye, Love," he said just as quickly as Arthur began to turn his head. He planted a quick kiss on his lips, smiled at Arthur's flabbergasted expression, and turned to move along.
"Hey, what the hell!" Arthur said after a strange pause.
Eames called back to him "Next time, don't turn so fast."
"What?"
Eames turned and winked. "I was aiming for the cheek, Love."
"W-wait!" Ariadne shook her head of the surprise she felt from seeing Eames kiss Arthur. Eames turned around and raised his eyebrows. "That can't be it, right?"
Arthur looked at her and noticed that she was tossing her chess piece back and forth in her hands. He smirked.
"You just can't leave it, can you?" he said.
"Neither can you," she pointed out.
Eames shifted on his feet. "Are we talking about doing more jobs?"
"Yes,"
"Not interested," he turned again, but Ariadne grabbed his shoulder. "You're not going to just leave us after all that, are you?"
"Don't get me wrong, I love you all very dearly, but I've got things to do, people to see."
"Where ever you're going, whoever you're seeing, can't be as interesting as us," she said, grinning. Eames hesitated, reflecting over this comment. It was true. He hadn't had so much fun as when he was with these buggers.
"All right, you've got my attention for the time being," he said, not missing the eye roll from Arthur.
"Don't lie to yourself, Darling," he said, smiling at Arthur. "You'd miss me if I left.
A few weeks later, after a few jobs and an awkward relationship with Ariadne, Arthur reflected over what his problem could be. The jobs were going fine, but he often found himself feeling distracted. Ariadne didn't agree, but something was disrupting his usual concentration. At first he believed the reason was Cobb's leaving. However, that could not possibly be the reason why he was growing bored with Ariadne. Was bored the right word? He wasn't sure. He wasn't sure at all what was going on. They liked each other enough, but he was distracted from her as well. What was distracting him? He didn't like to think about it, but one person came to mind.
Eames.
He preferred to forget that the kiss had ever happened. Even Eames admitted that it was an accident... although he could never be sure with that bastard. Perhaps the reason why Eames was disrupting his concentration was because they had never really discussed the kiss. They both went on acting as if everything was normal. Everything was normal in Arthur's opinion. The kiss had just been one of those things Eames did to annoy him. Or was it? Was Arthur craving another kiss?
Finally, Arthur made a decision on what to do. A very bad decision.
Arthur asked Eames to stay after one of the groups' discussions over one of their recent missions. Eames smiled and sat back down in his seat.
"What can I do for you?" he asked in a flirty tone. Arthur stared at him curiously.
"What's your sexual fantasy about me?"
Arthur tried very hard not to smile at Eames's surprised expression.
"What?" Eames thought he was kidding.
"Oh come on, Eames. I know you have at least a few fantasies about me," he said.
For once, Eames seemed to be caught off guard and unsure of what to say. Finally he said, "What's your sexual fantasy about me, Love?"
Arthur snorted. "I don't have one. That's why I'm asking you about yours."
"And why in God's name do you of all people want to know that?"
"I have an idea."
"For what?"
"For a dream."
Eames was disappointed in himself. He had caved to temptation and told Arthur about his sexual fantasy- the weakest one, anyway. He had others. Arthur had told him his plan, roping him in with "I will enter your dream and play along, no matter what it is." Damn, of course Eames couldn't pass this up. Arthur, for some reason, was agreeing to have sex with him in a dream. What bothered him was the why. Arthur was refusing to tell him, and Eames suspected foul play. There had to be a catch. It wasn't that he didn't trust Arthur. It was just that... He had long ago given up that he and Arthur would ever have sex. He tried to be satisfied with the flirting. His affection for him never went away, no matter how much he wished it would. He knew this dream was a very bad idea, that Arthur wasn't looking for anything except a sex dream that he could easily forget about later. A one night stand that wasn't real. Eames, on the other hand, wanted something real. He may seem like someone who would shout "Hooray!" over something like this (in fact, one half of himself was shouting hooray), and he was very very tempted to go through with it, but he was afraid of what would happen after. Damn Arthur. He make Eames so weak. Now he had himself stuck in this stupid mess. But ah ha! Arthur wasn't the only one who could play games. Eames still had a trick up his sleeve; he changed his dream. Now all he had to do was annoy Arthur- or trick him- out of it before he lost his resolve and gave in to Arthur's wishes.
Arthur looked around, confused as he entered the dream. This was not the sex fantasy involving Arthur and Eames getting down and dirty on top of a poker table- in the middle of a game. Instead of sitting in front of a table playing poker, Arthur found himself standing outside a very fancy looking hotel.
Arthur looked around at the people walking by. Eames was nowhere to be found.
"What the-"
Suddenly a gunshot rang out and Arthur was forced to duck. A strange man approached him, a gun pointed at his head. The crowd around him was screaming and running for cover. At the last moment, Eames appeared behind the man with a gigantic gun. He put his finger to his lips and winked at Arthur, who was backing himself against the hotel wall.
Eames fired and gunned the man down. When he fell to the ground in a heap, he held his arm out to the crowd. "Danger avoided. The assassin has been defeated. Nothing to see here, people. The police are on their way."
He helped the confused Arthur up and lead him into the hotel.
"What the hell is going on?" Arthur asked angrily. "You didn't tell me you guarded your subconscious-"
"Don't get your panties in a bunch," Eames said, steering Arthur to an elevator. "This is all part of my dream."
"What? I thought we were playing poker."
"That was in that other dream. This is the sex fantasy I didn't tell you about."
The elevator doors closed. Arthur turned and glared at Eames, but tried to keep his cool.
"What are you talking about? We agreed that I would enter your dream-"
"No matter what it was, remember?" Eames winked at him. He quickly leaned his head toward one of the elevator walls. "We have sex in this elevator later."
Arthur slumped against the elevator wall. He had been so sure that he had been in control of this. All he really wanted to do was get in, have sex with Eames, see what it was like, and get out. But of course Eames had to throw him for a loop.
"Why don't we just do it here, now, and get it over with?" Arthur said.
"Nah ah," Eames said, shaking his head and his finger. "It's my dream, right?"
"Bastard."
Eames only smiled. The moment was interrupted when the elevator door opened. Eames motioned for Arthur to exit first. He did, hesitantly.
"So, what now?" Arthur asked, exasperated.
"Isn't it obvious?" Eames opens a door to a hotel room. When Arthur sees the bed, he is momentarily relieved. He was beginning to forget why he was doing this in the first place. Now he just wanted to get it over with and get out of this dream. As long as it was a dream, he would be fine. It wasn't real, so it didn't matter.
He remained standing while Eames locked the gun away.
"So..." Arthur said.
"So..." Eames looked at him, waiting.
"What?"
"Isn't it obvious?"
Arthur stared at him blankly. Eames sighed; now it was his turn to be exasperated.
"You're supposed to ask me who is trying to kill you. I am your bodyguard, you know."
"Wait, what?"
Eames walked up to Arthur and hit him on the forehead with his palm. "You are really slow today, Love. Think!"
And so Arthur thought about it. "You're trying to murder me in your dream?"
Eames rolled his eyes, but laughed. "This is a murder mystery, Genius."
Arthur collapsed into a chair as Eames circled the table in the hotel room kitchen. He playfully traced his finger on it. "And you have to solve it before we can have sex."
Arthur rubbed his forehead. "Of course you don't make it easy, do you," he said. "I mistakenly thought you would because you've always wanted to fuck me. I don't get you."
"Oh, you get me perfectly, Dear," Eames said. "You knew exactly how to reel me in to this mess. And sooner or later you will figure this all out. What I don't get is why you are doing this."
He tilted his head and looked into Arthur's eyes. "Why are you doing this, Love?"
Arthur looked away and smiled slightly. "You're not getting it out of me that easily."
"Damn," he playfully slammed his hand on the table. "There is one way to get out of this though, you know."
Arthur couldn't help but lift his head, interested in what he had to say.
"Sleep with me in reality."
Arthur quickly turned away and didn't answer. No, he couldn't do that. As long as it was here, it didn't matter. It was a dream. He wasn't cheating on Ariadne, he wasn't admitting any feelings for Eames. It would just a sexual dream he once had for no particular reason.
Eames sighed in defeat. He pulled out a pad of paper and slapped it on the table. "Okay, so here are the suspects..."
He wrote a few things down on a piece of paper and slid the pad over to Arthur, who began to read it.
Mrs. Peacock
Mrs. White
Professor Plum
Mr. Green
Colonel Mustard
Miss Scarlet
He looked up from the pad of paper in extreme skepticism. "This is a joke, right?"
Eames sat down, looking like an excited child who was just about to play their favorite game. "No, it's great isn't it? My dream is like a board game!"
Arthur raised an eyebrow. "You have got to be kidding."
"No, I'm not. Okay, here are the rules. You must explore the hotel and find the suspects. After the first assassination plan failed, they'll try again," he paused as if he just remembered something. "Try not to die when you investigate them, okay? I will be disguised as one of them. When you think you know which one is me, you say, 'I know it's you, Eames.' If you're right, we'll fuck right there in whatever room we find ourselves in."
"And if I'm wrong?" Arthur asked, leaning his head against his arm, looking uninterested.
"The suspect kills you and you wake up," Eames said with a shrug. "With the candlestick. Or the rope. Or the-"
"Okay, okay, I get it," Arthur waved his hands to shut him up. "So you said in your original dream we did it in the elevator, right?"
"Mmm, yeah."
Arthur didn't like that sound. Why was he doing this? Eames was such a bastard; always confusing him. That stupid kiss had got him into this unnecessary mess. He should have known better.
"Okay okay, whatever. So if I find out which person is you, should I bring them to the elevator?"
"Unless you want to do it on the pool table," Eames said with a smile. Ugh. This was getting so tiring.
Arthur stood up and headed for the door. "Okay, let's just get this over with."
Arthur found himself sitting at the hotel restaurant. He was pretty damn sure he knew exactly which suspect Eames decided to impersonate, and, as if on cue, that very suspect entered the restaurant. Miss Scarlet.
She was a very curvy, luxurious woman in red; very tempting. Good grief, Arthur thought to himself. He was absolutely sure Eames was having a blast flaunting that around. Sure enough, the beautiful woman took a seat at the bar and began flirting with the bartender.
Arthur sat down a few seats away from her and observed the situation. She certainly did not appear to have any guns, but there could be a knife or some other weapon hidden somewhere within that dress. The woman turned and he caught her eye.
"Buy you a drink?" he said, smiling.
"As long as it isn't poisoned," she said with a sexy smile. For a few minutes they drank while observing one another.
"Are you staying here alone?" Arthur asked, gesturing to the rest of the hotel.
"Why, are you interested in me?" she winked. This was definitely Eames. Why was he being so obvious?
Eames scooted over the seats between them and leaned closer. "Are you here alone?"
He looked away and made a thoughtful expression. "Kind of. It depends on the way you look at it."
She began to stroke his hand. "The way I see it, we're both two lonely people sitting alone in a bar. How pathetic."
"If you say so," Arthur said, taking another sip of his drink. "I sometimes like to be alone."
The stroking stopped. The woman looked puzzled, as if she wasn't sure if he was blowing her off or not. He smiled.
"But as long as the company is good, I don't mind."
"What would you count as good company?" she asked. She stopped with the touching and the flirting. Now she was nervous, and looked as if she had just remembered something very important. Arthur was sure that Eames was trying to throw him off. He eyed the woman's hand, which was nervously touching part of her dress that was over her leg. There must be a knife there.
"Oh, I don't know," Arthur said. "Someone who doesn't make me want to slam their head against a wall, like some people."
No sign of Eames understanding what he meant shown through the eyes. However, Arthur was so sure that he was right that he had already decided that he had won Eames's stupid game. He downed the rest of the drink.
"Want to have sex in an elevator?"
When they entered the elevator, the woman was clutching something behind her. She looked nervous, like she thought she wouldn't be able to go through with it. Arthur smirked at himself in the mirror. "I know it's you, Eames."
As he turned to look at the woman who was now turned back into Eames, Eames pulled out a gun.
"What-" Arthur began to say.
"Wrong, you lose."
"Whoa, whoa!" Arthur backed against the wall and held his hand I front of him. "What the hell! You're standing right there, I guessed right!"
"Wrong," he cocked the gun. "I was all of the suspects. You failed to see that."
"That's cheating!"
"Yeah," Eames said, still pointing the gun at him. "And I also knew you would go for the pretty slender woman first. That's also called me cheating."
Arthur remained paralyzed against the wall. Of course he wouldn't really die, but he could not fail at this mission he gave himself. What if Eames told everyone about it when they woke up? Shit, he hadn't considered that when he came up with this plan in the first place.
"You lying, cheating bitch!" he said angrily.
Eames chuckled. "Now why would a man like you, a straight man who has always ignored my obvious flirting, who clearly Miss Scarlett was sexy and who also is dating a woman in reality, agree to have sex with me in my dream? What are you trying to pull?"
"Nothing!" Arthur flinched when Eames shot the gun up towards the ceiling.
"You know I'm incredibly attracted to you, Arthur," Eames said, walking closer to him. "Why are you using it against me right now? Is it blackmail?"
Suddenly a lightbulb went off in Arthur's head. Is that what he's worried about? He relaxed and stood up straight. "No, of course not, Eames," he said. "I was just..."
Eames's handle on the gun got weaker as he watched Arthur try to confess. It was taking a while, and it was so cute. The gun was getting closer and closer to his thigh. He had been right- he wasn't going to be able to go through with this. Not with Arthur being so damn attractive; his face red from the shock and fear; the embarrassment; the guilty look in his eyes; the sexy smile that was aimed at the floor.
"I... I was curious... about you," he finally said.
Damn you, Arthur.
Eames dropped the gun and closed in on Arthur. They began to kiss, just like in the dream Eames based this off of. The elevator seemed to keep going up and up; Paradox, Arthur thought in the back of his mind as Eames ran a hand through his hair. He didn't protest when Eames turned him around and began to pull down his pants. It was only a dream. He would wake up and everything would be fine.
Meanwhile, in reality, Ariadne entered the room where they had just previously had their meeting. She jumped in surprise and almost dropped all of her papers when she noticed that Eames and Arthur were asleep there. As she bent down and began picking up one piece that had slipped through the other sheets of paper, she realized something about the two sleeping figures. Her heart sank. While on the one hand she was upset because she liked Arthur, she also found the situation incredibly funny. She wanted to cry and laugh at the same time.
They both had erections.
"Ow!" Arthur was saying at the same time that Ariadne had caught them.
"You're such a cute gay virgin," Eames said, biting him playfully on the shoulder.
"I'm not a virgin," Arthur said through gritted teeth.
"In the butt you are," Eames let out a moan. He wanted to kill himself for what he was doing, but by God, there was no way he was not going to enjoy it while he could. He was so weak when it came to Arthur. When he was finished, both men took a moment to rest, breathing heavily. Arthur turned to face Eames, and they began to kiss again.
Eames finally broke away and smiled. "Do you want to try now, Darling?"
They did many dirty things in that elevator. Half the time Arthur was amazed that people did such things- though he wasn't surprised that Eames did them. Eames was surprised that Arthur picked up so fast. Finally they found themselves collapsed on the bed in the hotel.
"Is it time to wake up?" Arthur asked. He had accomplished his mission. He was ready.
Eames frowned, but Arthur didn't notice. "If you want to, Love."
"I do. Oh," he added quickly. "Don't tell anyone about this, okay?"
Arthur woke up, leaving Eames feeling incredibly depressed, something that did not normally happen at the end of his actual sexual fantasy dream.
Eames left the team. The rest of them, even Arthur, were at a complete loss as to why. He said goodbye, he had had enough, he was going back to Mombasa. No other explanation. As far as Ariadne could tell, something was bothering him.
"This doesn't have anything to do with that dream you two were having, does it?" Ariadne said to Arthur carefully. Arthur's head snapped in her direction in surprise.
"Sorry, I kinda walked in on you guys... I could tell that it was an... um... exciting dream."
Arthur looked away, ashamed of himself. He had gotten so caught up in trying to figure out what his problem was that he had failed to see the effects it would have on everyone else.
"I'm so sorry," he said, hanging his head. "I've been so damn confused ever since Eames kissed me. I-"
"It's okay, really," Ariadne said, trying to smile. "I don't need to hear about it. But you should talk to him. Whatever happened in that dream must have upset him. Don't worry about me."
She stopped smiling and stared at him.
"What?" he asked.
"I never thought you would hurt Eames like that."
"Neither did I. Clearly I don't know him as well as I thought," he sighed. "You're right, I should go talk to him. Are you sure you're okay though?"
"Yes, I'm fine," she said, smiling sadly. "I really liked you."
"I liked you too..." he said, but he realized it would have no effect. "I swear I didn't mean to-"
"I know, I know," she said, taking his hand. "I'll get over it. I hope. As crazy as it sounds, I want our team back to together. I want us to be happy. I didn't really expect us to last anyway..."
Arthur tried not to think about that.
Eames wasn't answering his phone or email- or at least Arthur's phone calls and emails. He did some research and discovered that Eames had not actually gone back to Mombasa; he was actually in London.
As he entered the London hotel, Arthur couldn't believe he was crawling back to Eames of all people. He had been sure that Eames wouldn't mind having sex in a dream. Eames didn't love him, he was simply sexually attracted to him. He supposed that he himself was also sexually attracted to Eames, and that was how this whole disaster had started. He knocked on the hotel room door that he knew Eames was behind. A mutual friend of their was staying with Eames, and he agreed to let him visit.
When he entered the room, Eames was asleep. Arthur politely asked the friend if he could enter Eames's dream. It wasn't long before he found himself in some sort of club. On a small stage, there was a very slutty looking girl singing.
"I was so lost back then,
But with a little help from my friends,
I found a light in the tunnel at the end,
Now you're calling me up on the phone,
So you can have a little whine and a moan,
And it's only because you're feeling alone,
At first when I see you cry,
Yeah it makes me smile, yeah it makes my smile,
At worst I feel bad for a while,
But then I just smile, I go ahead and smile."
A lightbulb went off again in Arthur's mind. This girl was definitely Eames, he could see right through it. "Oh... my... God," he said out loud, putting a hand over his mouth and trying very hard not to burst out laughing.
When he finished the song, Eames made his way over to Arthur, still in his female disguise. He ran a hand over Arthur's chest.
"Did you like that, Honey?" he said.
"Bitch," Arthur said with a smirk.
"Bastard," This time Eames's voice was his own, and soon the disguise was gone. "What are you doing here?"
"What were you doing dancing and singing like that up there?"
Eames shrugged casually. "I like to let my inner girl out every once in a while."
"Clearly," Arthur couldn't stop smiling.
"Nah, actually I knew you were going to show up and I thought you'd get a kick out of this," he turned and smiled at Arthur.
"You knew I was coming?"
"Yeah, Steve told me."
"Bastard."
"Now tell me, Bitch, what are you doing here?" Eames asked. They shuffled over to a table and sat down.
"I came to apologize, of course."
"Really?" Eames acted surprised. "Whatever for?"
"Come on, you know what for."
Eames stared at him cluelessly. "What do you have to be sorry for? You let me fuck you in an elevator, that was so sweet of you."
Arthur caught the sarcasm. "I assumed you'd be happy to sleep with me and that would be it. A one night stand in a dream. I never thought... I never thought that you... actually cared for me and would be insulted by it."
Eames clasped his hands together and stared thoughtfully over them. He waited, so Arthur went on.
"I was curious about you ever since you actually kissed me. I was a coward and too afraid to face my feelings in reality, so I retreated into a dream. I didn't even consider it cheating on Ariadne," he laughed at himself. "I'm such an idiot."
"But a very cute idiot," Eames said, smiling behind his hands. Arthur could see it in his eyes.
"I don't expect you to forgive me-"
"Oh please, I forgave you the minute you walked in here," Eames confessed. "You are too much of a darling for me to stay mad at you. That's why I had to leave."
The two men looked at each other across the table. "What now?" Arthur asked.
Eames put his hands on the table. "I propose that you make a decision. Do you want to stay with Ariadne, or do you want to be with me?"
Arthur's confusion was no longer there, plaguing his brain. He finally understood that this entire experiment meant only one thing: he was in love with Eames.
"I don't understand myself," Arthur said, half serious, half joking. "Why am I in love with a bastard like you?"
Eames grinned and chuckled. "My dashing good looks and charming personality?"
"Must be," Arthur looked away, bashful all of a sudden. "And maybe it's because you're the only person who can make me come undone."
Eames allowed this to be a tender moment for a few seconds. Then he opened his mouth. "Is that a sexual reference or are you referring to how I make you do things you never imagined you would do- like mess up your clothes?"
Arthur couldn't help but laugh. A memory of the dream where his clothes had become a wrinkled, ripped mess in the elevator. Good thing that had been a dream; he loved those clothes. He shook his head. "Both, of course."
This was going to be an interesting relationship.