Disclaimer: I don't own this character or "Lie to Me," and won't be getting any sort of financial reward for writing this.
I don't. I feel nothing of love for that man. I don't feel a light sunny warmth, I don't feel beautiful, and I don't feel smart when I'm around him. I don't feel important and I don't feel like he cares. That's not the love my mother taught me about, the love that lasts, that sustains itself and feeds the two people who feel it.
What I feel is a deep, dark, pulsating, and needy desperation. I feel like I can't breathe when I miss him. I feel like I can't sleep when I want him. I feel hungry, but not for food; thirsty, but not for water. I get stupid around him because I can't see straight or think my own damn thoughts. Then other times I can't help but rage against him, fight him, and adamantly not bow down to his supposed genius. Okay, it's genius. But he is still a human being worth nothing more or less than any one of us. And I'm no longer willing to be the one who reminds him of it.
It comes down to this: I doubt myself around him. It's okay! I don't want you to worry about me. I'm not fighting it anymore… I left him.
I'm going to find someone who can see me for who I am and accept me, no, someone who worships the goddamn ground I walk on, because I deserve that. I've been mad for too long about hurts that are too old to be worth it. If I can ever get over this anger, I will find a man who's a little less faithful to his mistress and a lot more faithful to his wife. I'll get that goddamn fairytale feeling that mom promised me, even if I have to create it out of goddamn thin air.
A/N: I want to say for the record that I don't think Zoe is unintelligent or acts stupidly around Cal. She is a very smart lady lawyer who can hold her own; however, this is a piece about how she feels. They both get overtaken by emotion when they're together, and I think she views her hot-headedness around him as a weakness, which makes her feel insecure.