A/N #1: For the sake of this story, everything is canon up to the season five midseason finale. So everything in the promos for the Christmas episode never happened.
"I'm all for a good bang, but lunchtime? Lunchtime is sacred! You'd have to be really special to get me to swallow anything less than a sandwich in the middle of the day. Know what I mean?"
Emily grimaces. "Trying to eat, Hanna," she protests, while Spencer only shakes her head.
See, Aria's been sneaking around for the past few days and it's driving Hanna crazy.
At first she thought Aria was avoiding her, although she had no reason to. But Spencer was just as clueless as to the petite girl's whereabouts. Emily hadn't seen her around either, and could only offer a promise to keep an eye out for her. "She's probably at Ezra's," Emily had added.
And at that Hanna had released her less than tasteful outburst.
As Emily and Spencer start a discussion about winter sports, Hanna takes action herself.
At 11:01 AM - Hanna: Hey. Missing you at lunch. Again. I need my Aria time D:
At 11:02 AM - Aria: Sorry, Han. I just really have to get this special project done! Don't you dare try and follow me. It's supposed to be a surprise.
At 11:02 AM - Aria: But for the record, I miss you too, goofball. :) Can't wait to finish this and catch up with you!
Unbidden, a goofy and entirely unnecessary grin springs to Hanna's face. Spencer looks over. "It's rude to sext Caleb at the table, Hanna." The jest isn't of her usual Hastings highbrow caliber, but Spencer laughs at her joke anyways.
Hanna frowns at his name and flips her off before returning her attention to her phone. She feels a hand on her shoulder a few seconds later. It's cool but comforting, and that's how Hanna knows it's Emily's. Emily's super chill attitude seems to run on a frigid stock of pool water – she does get awfully cranky when a week goes by without any natatorium time.
"We haven't seen Caleb around lately, and whenever we bring him up it's like we've summoned the devil. Trouble in paradise?" Emily asks softly.
Hanna's mouth twists with her exhale. "Kind of. I'll tell you when we figure things out." Emily nods, hand slipping back to her lunch tray. She's content to leave the matter at that. Spencer, however, looks like she wants to inquire further, but Hanna rises, bag in hand, just as the braniac opens her mouth.
"I, uh, have to go take care of something. I'll see you guys later, ok? Don't get killed in my absence."
"Where are you going?" Spencer calls. "You hardly ate anything." It was true – Hanna had eaten about four tater tots and downed half of her soda before abandoning her lunch. "That's like me only drinking half my coffee."
Hanna just waves her off.
Hanna finds Aria in the very back of the library with seven minutes left of lunch to spare. She wastes half of them just watching from behind a bookshelf.
Aria alternates between scribbling feverishly into a sketchpad and typing and clicking around on her laptop. None of the details are visible from where Hanna's standing, but she can tell whatever she's working has got Aria emotionally rooted, as she sighs, bites her lip, stares intently at the laptop, erases on the sketchpad with a soft swear, or very rarely nods to herself quietly and relaxes her frown.
Hanna's almost miffed – there's something intensely calming about the intensity of Aria's work and concentration, an admirable passion that drives Hanna to almost jealousy. Why hasn't she ever gotten to see Aria like this? She continues to look on curiously as Aria pauses to pick up her phone and tap out a brief text. Who's the lucky recipient? Ezra?
Aria's already picked up her pencil again when the phone in Hanna's hand pings. Loudly.
Hanna looks down.
At 11:14 AM - Aria - I'm kind of in the mood for Mean Girls tonight. Yay or nay? I know you're the only one who'll watch it with me…
Damn it. So that's who Aria had been texting.
Aria looks up curiously at the familiar ringtone. Alarmed and very visible, Hanna tries to duck but ends up hitting her head on the shelf on the way down and dislodging a precariously placed book. It splays its pages as it hits the floor. "Damn it!" Hanna says aloud.
"Hanna?!" Aria hisses, scandalized, as she recognizes her voice. She hurriedly shuts the laptop and sketchpad, throwing both of them into her tote bag before rushing to Hanna's side. "What are you doing here?!"
Hanna releases an exaggerated groan, feeling her forehead. She squints around at her surroundings for an excuse. "Oh, you know. Just…just doing some reading," she says, gesturing to the fallen book. "I didn't even see you here. How's it going?"
Aria picks up the book in question. "It Gets Better: Coming Out, Overcoming Bullying, and Creating a Life Worth Living. Dan Savage and Terry Miller." The look on Aria's face softens. "Hanna, if this is your way of telling me – "
"No!" Hanna laughs. "That subtle stuff is something Spencer would do or Emily would get caught doing. If I came out, you'd definitely know for sure. I'd throw a party so fantastic that Ellen would feature it on her show," Hanna says, grinning as she catches the edge of an old memory. "I offered to throw one for Emily awhile ago, but for some reason she wanted to keep it quiet. Which I totally understand and respect, but I was kind of bummed at the missed opportunity, you know?"
"Hanna, honey, you're rambling," Aria says. She's waited for Hanna to catch a breath and has already put the book back into place and helped the blonde up. "How long were you standing there?"
"I wasn't!" Hanna protests, keeping a straight face for all of three seconds before dropping her eyes. "Fine. But you have an awful sixth sense. I'm surprised you're still alive even with A trying to kill us all."
"Hanna…"
"Not too long, and I didn't see whatever it was you were working on, god," Hanna says, holding her hands up in surrender. "Are you drawing nudes for Ezra?"
Aria swats her arm. "Hanna! Who does that?"
"Well I figured that if you're spending all your free time hiding this thing from your friends, it's got to be either really saucy…or really important." Hanna fails to withhold her bitterness with that last addendum.
"Is this the part where I assure you that nothing is more important than my friendship with you guys?" Aria smirks knowingly. "I'm almost done with it. Trust me. And when it's done I'll let you know what I've been working on and I'll quit sneaking around. As long as you quit following me…"
"Fine. I won't. And you'd better hold up your end of that promise, because you know I love Em and Spence, but it's been five days without you and now they won't quit talking about sports and math class and god knows what," Hanna complains.
"And I bet they won't even watch Mean Girls with you?"
"Yeah, Ar, it's terrible. We've got to fix that. Tonight."
"Tonight it is."
As soon as the clock hits 12:00 two new messages spring to life on Hanna's phone.
At 12:00 AM - Spencer: Happy birthday! May your day be filled with jubilation ;) and your year with other assorted SAT words.
At 12:00 AM - Emily: Hope my favorite blonde's already having the best day ever! I know it's just barely started, but a lot can happen in thirty seconds! XX
Hanna chuckles, firing off replies to two of her best friends. But why there isn't a third message? The four girls have always sent birthday messages at midnight. It's tradition. Is Aria too busy with Ezra to text Hanna on what's clearly the most important day of the year? Hanna scowls to herself, mind swamped with unhappy thoughts. So far it's not shaping up to be the best birthday ever – something Aria had promised her it would be. Liar…
Hanna's phone lights up again with a notification, and she almost snaps her neck in her rush to check it.
At 12:03 AM – Aria: For the love of Louboutin, Hanna, are you going to open your window or not?!
Hanna blinks down at the message, processing it for a good ten seconds, before sliding off her headphones, gripping her phone tightly, and tiptoeing to the window. She hears a very subtle clinking sound, opens the curtain a sliver, and sees Aria. Washed in moonlight and holding a dwindling pile of pebbles in her left hand, the brunette carelessly tosses a pebble against the glass without looking. The pebble happens to land right just where Hanna's eye is resting, causing the blonde to yelp, flinch away, and trip over herself.
Once she's collected herself she yanks the curtains open. Aria stops her pebble throwing to grin up at her, mouthing 'Finally!'
Hanna gestures her over to the front and she slinks downstairs to let Aria in as quietly as possible. They barely dare to breathe until they're both safely situated in Hanna's room, and even then they keep their movements subdued and their voices quiet. It's not the first time Hanna's had friends over without her mom's explicit permission (Caleb, unfortunately, comes to mind) so they know to be quiet.
"You could have texted, like a normal person," Hanna starts off immediately. Aria makes a face.
"Yeah, well, I wanted to be different, but at the same time I didn't want to wake up your mom. Special gesture for a special girl! But someone didn't want to open her window."
Hanna gestures to her headphones. "I'll try to hold off on the music next year. How long were you waiting? Are you cold? You're shivering," Hanna notes, an edge of alarm in her voice as she hugs Aria to her, chin resting on the shorter girl's shoulder. Hanna rubs her arms in an attempt to flatten the raised bumps. Inexplicably, where Aria had only been slightly trembling before, a warm, full blown shiver shakes her now. The brunette remains leaned into Hanna, distracted by the scent of citrusy sweetness in Hanna's hair, before pulling away with a breath, remembering that Hanna had asked her a question.
"I started throwing pebbles at midnight. Not too long. And it's ok, because I wanted to be the first one to give you a present." Aria says, reaching down for the tote she's dropped at the foot of Hanna's bed. She already can't help but smile.
"I think I'm more excited about this gift than you are, so don't do that 'let me preserve the wrapping paper and spend half an hour opening the present thing' that Spencer does sometimes. Please. And it wouldn't hurt if you at least pretended to like it?" Aria says hopefully.
Curiosity baited, Hanna accepts the gift with a thanks. It's a parcel the size of a textbook, wrapped in shiny red paper and not very heavy. She shakes it twice, but it doesn't make a sound.
"Hanna!" Aria nudges, her elbow knocking into Hanna's.
"Fine, fine." The package doesn't last long after that. Hanna lifts the presents out of the box, shaking them out and testing their texture.
"Aria, they're beautiful," she squeals. It's two dresses packaged into one box. The first is a simple, silky red dress that Hanna can already tell will fit her body in a way that accents all of her curves – far from being too revealing while still winking at its viewers, hinting at the attributes behind the fabric. The second is a little more intricate, an indigo dress with black shoulders and black chevron waist and carefully placed black stripes diagonal down the bottom half of the dress. She's already working through different outfits she can form, the jewelry and belts and shoes and purses to go with them.
"They're perfect, thank you," Hanna says after giving them a thorough examination, holding them to her chest and standing before her mirror, before dropping them to give Aria an excited kiss on the cheek. It's still branded into Aria's cheek in the form of a blush when Hanna withdraws. "I don't recognize the designer, though, and there wasn't a tag. Who's it by?"
"Me," Aria grins. Hanna looks comically stunned, eyes darting to Aria's and then to the dresses strewn over the bed. "YOU made these?"
"I took a few classes over the summer and I'm still taking them now. Plus, I know a lot of people who offered a lot of help. It took a month of sleepless nights and sneaking around, but I got it done," Aria replies, almost shyly and definitely modestly.
"That's amazing! You're like a child prototype!"
"Prodigy," Aria corrects with an affectionate smile. "I'm not, but thanks for the compliment."
Hanna scowls for all of two seconds before breaking into a grin again. "What did I do to deserve this?"
"Just wanted to make you smile on your birthday. It worked, didn't it?" Hanna rewards her with a sparkling beam.
"It did. God, I love you. Best present ever," Hanna says, wrapping Aria in another hug that would surely knock her off her feet had they not both been sitting. As it is, the moment still leaves Aria breathless.
Two months afterward, things have become pleasantly different. It becomes a thing, just Hanna and Aria, dreaming up fashion designs. They'll sit together on Aria's bed, drawing silently, occasionally asking for criticism or peeking at each others' designs and pointing out a flaw or particularly brilliant bit. Sometimes Hanna ends up flipping through magazines for inspiration, holding the magazine above her head as she rests in Aria's lap, hair tickling the brunette's thighs. When they watch Project Runway together – or Mean Girls, or Pitch Perfect, or any other chick flick they have a secret, almost stereotypical weakness for – Aria will lean into Hanna's side, and she'll let Hanna have all the popcorn.
One Thursday evening Hanna shows up uninvited at Aria's door (although is it fair to call it uninvited when they spend almost every day at each other's houses?). "I've had a crappy day," she groans. "I need a cuddle buddy and a late night movie marathon, stat."
Aria hedges. Usually she'd drop everything for a friend in need, but two enormous essays are sitting at the back of her mind, wheedling her for attention. "Han, don't you have homework to do? And we have school tomorrow," Aria points out.
"Aria…" Hanna whines. "Last time I checked, I wasn't the one asking my teacher to cuddle. Don't start nagging me about my education. I think you've been spending too much time with Ezra."
Aria huffs, considering closing the door in Hanna's face, but the blonde's pout effaces her irritability. Homework or Hanna? she asks herself, and that makes it easy. "Get in before I change my mind, goofball."
Hanna perks up immediately, and soon they're watching High School Musical 3 after a long bout of channel surfing.
"High school is nothing like that," Hanna gripes, too cross to touch the bowl of M&Ms between them. "Look at them with their stupidly happy, singing faces. Not a single unbeautiful thing comes out of those mouth holes."
Aria's half asleep, her face pressed soporifically against Hanna's bare shoulder, and she breathes a chuckle into the skin. "Aw, don't be so grumpy. You're the one who chose the movie. And to be fair, no one's high school experience is like that. Talk about unrealistic expectations for teenage girls…"
Hanna shakes her head irritably. "Well, no one's high school experience is like ours, either. Because of A, we're living a crossover between a soap opera and a slasher film! But it's a hell of a lot worse because I can't find the remote and shut the damn movie off." Hanna bites. Aria can feel her body lock up, hardening with unspoken and unresolved tension. The smaller girl sits up, debating whether or not to try to soften Hanna with an embrace.
Aria mutes the TV, but doesn't turn it off. Hanna looks over, surprised, and Aria reaches over to rub her forearms, trying to relax her. "Han, what's wrong? I haven't asked you that all night because I've been trying to give you some space, but I get the feeling you want me to."
"Maybe," Hanna admits quietly, refusing to look at Aria and staring at Troy and Gabriella waltzing in the rain, as if the pattern of their footsteps will unlock A's next cryptic message.
"Then tell me, honey. If you need someone to listen. If not, we can keep channel surfing," Aria offers, her hands trailing down and stilling to grasp the other girl's fingers. Hanna feels pinned in place by the warmth of Aria's gaze, the casual pet name and friendly contact only cuffing her tighter to what is sure to be a very bumpy ride. When she remembers how to breathe, she speaks plainly with no hint of remorse.
"I broke up with Caleb today." Even though the end of the relationship was all her doing, and although she doesn't regret how it played it, Hanna's shoulders deflate nonetheless.
"Oh, Hanna," Aria says, infusing more warmth into Hanna's body with a tightened grip. Hanna doesn't know how to interpret the look in her eyes – it's not pity or an imploration for further details. It looks almost like gratitude – like Aria's glad that Hanna trusted her enough to tell her this. Hanna stares down at their linked hands, tracing a thumb over the simple mauve of Aria's nails.
"He'd just changed so much after Ravenswood…and I'd changed too. It didn't work anymore."
She'd wanted the relationship to work, but rekindling the old flame had felt like trying to make things click with a completely different person. She'd been surprised to find that what she had been looking for and couldn't find in Travis was suddenly missing from Caleb too – and if she was honest with herself she'd known it from the time they'd kissed in that café. But she hadn't wanted to confront her lack of feeling then; she'd waited it out, waited for the passion to return. Now that the worst of her identity crisis and Caleb's haunting PTSD had passed, they were no longer anchored together by the strength of shared misery and alienation. Nor was the pain of past experiences enough to keep them together; they were too different now. It was time for things to end.
She doesn't explain any of this to Aria, but Aria nods in a way that communicates her understanding.
"What's wrong with me? Why can't I just not fuck up a relationship with a normal guy?" Hanna whispers, closing her eyes.
"Oh, Hanna," Aria repeats. "None of this is your fault. Things will get better, hon, and we'll all be here for you when they do." There's a wetness starting to dampen Hanna's eyelashes, even though her eyelids are still shut, and Aria wipes away the dew with a warm thumb, hand trailing down to rest on Hanna's cheek. "I wish things had worked out. But I'm here for you until Caleb comes to his senses and becomes the boyfriend you remember, or until you find someone better."
And suddenly, inexplicably, despite Aria's words, Hanna finds herself sobbing. Aria ends up pulling Hanna's head into her lap, as she did once before the second time Hanna and Caleb broke up, wishing she had someone to blame, someone to hunt down and harass just to alleviate Hanna's hurt. But she knows it's not Caleb's fault the two have finally become incompatible, and neither is it Hanna's.
Aria holds her until the tears run dry. Until Hanna gets hiccups that Aria soothes with a glass of water and a kiss to the forehead and until the ache in Hanna's heart has somehow settled into hers.
Hanna ends up sleeping over, and in the morning she tells Aria she's totally ok to go to school. Hanna's chatty on the ride to school, gesticulating and telling stories that make Aria laugh so hard she's afraid she's going to cause an accident. But when Rosewood High actually swims into view, Hanna's cheer becomes a little more forced. It's a subtle change, but Aria still notices Hanna gesticulating less, like a conductor winding down a symphony. And the pauses between her thoughts become marginally longer, as if she has to struggle through emotion to find her words.
On a whim, Aria holds Hanna's hand to calm her nerves when they walk into school, and she doesn't miss Hanna's sigh of relief. "Thank you," Hanna says quietly. The meekness doesn't suit her – it's like Spencer neglecting to correct an erroneous teacher – and so Aria just smiles back, trying to keep the sadness out of her eyes, and memorizes the feel of Hanna's fingers, wondering if she'll ever get used to how soft they are.
A/N #2: I couldn't think up a stunning dress design, so I stole two of Hanna's existing outfits. Just pretend she's never worn them before and it all works out! They're linked here, just make sure you capitalize the links properly or they won't show:
goo dot gl/VgwKAJ
goo dot gl/1JZuyA
Criticism is welcome. Also, this was meant to be a oneshot, but it got a bit long, so stay tuned for part two.