Merry Christmas, Crazy Steve!
A Very Crazy Spin Off Story Of Merry Christmas, Drake & Josh By Sideshow Bob Roberts
I decided to get into the holiday spirit with a very merry (and crazy) holiday story starring the one, the only: Crazy Steve! And, this is also my first entry in the Drake & Josh category, so I hope you all enjoy it. . .
Disclaimer: I do not own Crazy Steve or any other Drake & Josh character that may appear in this story. Thank you and enjoy the story. . . . .
Chapter One: Crazy Like A Fox
It is Christmas time once again, which means that the carolers are out and singing and the mall Santas are doing what they do best: asking little kids what they want for Christmas and hoping that none of the kids whiz their pants on their laps. The Premier Mall is once again setting up their Christmas decorations and getting the greeting area ready for the kids.
Helen walks up after riding the escalator up to the area and looks around. She spots Craig and Eric who are hanging up decorations on the wall. Eric is on the ladder hanging up something, while Craig holds the ladder. "Excuse me, nerds? Have you seen Drake around anywhere?"
"We have names, you know." Eric almost falls as he responds to her, but quickly regains composure.
"Yeah, but I don't have time to memorize 'em."
Craig turns around, letting go of the ladder. "You've known us for years!"
"Don't get snappy with me, boy, I'll fire you like that." Helen snaps and turns to look for Drake some more.
"But we don't work here. Drake volunteered us so he wouldn't have to come in and help."
As Craig argues with Helen, Eric slips on the ladder and hangs in the air on the decoration that he hung on the wall.
"I'm going to go look for Drake now." Helen walks away, not even caring about Eric hanging on the wall.
Craig sighs and turns around to see his friend hanging on the wall. "Eric! Be careful, you know how sensitive your wrists are!"
As Helen walks around looking for Drake, she passes by Crazy Steve at the concession stand. He picks up an empty soda cup and sniffs it.
A woman walks up to him and sets her purse on the counter. "Excuse me, I was wondering if I--"
"Excuse me!" Steve starts to yell at the lady in his normal fashion. "Can't you see I am sniffing cups here?!"
"But I just was wondering--"
Steve blinks a few times and starts to spout random phrases now. "How much could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?!"
The lady is now very confused at this. "Pardon me?"
"I like pie!"
"I think I'll just come back later" "...when it's someone else's shift."
Steve looks down at the cup and starts to pet it. "It's okay, the bad lady is gone now. It's just us. Don't cry. No, don't cry..." Steve strokes the cup and begins to sing. "Hush little cuppy, don't say a word..."
As Crazy Steve sings to his cup, Josh Nichols walks up to the counter and taps on it to get Steve's attention. "Hey there, Steve."
"Josh!" Steve turns to him and stares awkwardly.
"Yes...that's me." Josh adjusts his vest and continues on. "It's time for my shift, so time for you to--" Josh makes a hand signal for Steve to go, as to not upset him too much.
"Oh, no thanks, I went wee-wee earlier."
"No...no no. It's time for my shift, so you should leave."
Steve walks out from behind the counter and places the cup in Josh's hands. "Treat her well, young Nichols." He rubs his hand across Josh's head and walks away.
Josh looks back at Steve who is now going down the escalator, standing as stiff as a board. He shakes his head and goes behind the counter to work.
Gavin walks up to him slowly. "Hey Josh." He says in his monotone voice. "There's a couple of nerds hanging on a wall, help me get them down?"
"No."
Gavin smiles and walks away.
Helen approaches Josh now at the counter. "Hey, Helen. How's it--"
She interrupts him quickly, as she doesn't care. "Have you seen Drake?"
"Going..." Josh shakes it off and responds. "Uh, haven't you heard? Drake's in Vegas this year."
"Las?"
"Uh-huh."
Helen sets the Santa Clause costume she was going to surprise Drake with down on the counter. "Well now who's going to be Santy Clause this year?"
Josh adjusts his vest and points to himself a few times to give Helen a hint.
Helen sees this, but is just annoyed by it. "What?"
"Me. I didn't get to do it last year 'cause of Drake, so I think I deserve to be Santa this year."
"Hmm..." Helen thinks about it for about two seconds before coming up with an easy answer "no."
"Oh, come on! I'm good with kids, I'm friendly and approachable and I won't make out with every girl that sits on my lap like Drake did."
Helen's head snaps back towards Josh. "Drake did what?"
"Nothing." Josh didn't know that Helen wasn't happy with that and that she pretends that it never happened. She likes Drake too much to believe it.
She nods her head. "That's what I thought you said."
"Come on, Helen."
"Well...my only other option is Crazy Steve, and he scares kids away." Helen taps her fingers on the counter and examines Josh, who is dancing a bit with excitement. "Fine, you can be Santa."
Josh claps and celebrates a bit. "Yes!"
"But slip up and I'll demote you to sack again. You got me?"
"Yes, absolutely. Thank you." Josh opens his arms for a hug.
Helen quickly frowns at this. "No hugs."
Josh lowers his arms. "Okay." Josh starts to work as Helen walks away.
Gavin walks by the counter, comforting a crying Eric. "I got it."
Coming Up In Chapter Two: Crazy Steve at home! A look into his life and his beloved Sally the Woodchipper.