From the mind of Bridge Carson comes

The Fantastical Case Files of Carson...Bridge Carson!

As narrated by Bridge Carson

Cue Theme Music:
(sung by a quartet of beautiful blue-skinned alien women, whose coordinated dance can put any man into a trance of love)

Never makes a blunder, cuz he's a Wonder...
Meet Carson, Bridge Carson!
Solving any Crime, At Any Time...
Call Carson, Bridge Carson!
Whether Green or Blue, he always comes through...
It's Carson, Bridge Carson!
Making bad guys Shudder, with a side of Butter...
Carson, Bridge Carson!

Case #3847: "Cars On Carson!"

Space Patrol Delta Headquarters, 1:50 p.m.

"Carson!"

The sound of the booming voice of Anubis Cruger could be heard for miles and miles around. Well, maybe not miles, but definitely hallways. I made my way around the corner as fast as I could, downing the last morsel of toast from my late breakfast. For me, breakfast always came last. Everything came last when it came to my job. Because you see, my job was to save humanity, one crime at a time.

As the doors to the room opened, I could feel the tension. It was so thick I could cut it with the same knife I had used minutes before to butter my toast, if I took the time to clean that knife because it was dripping, like a bloody sword just pulled from a slain demon. I hate demons. But, I love butter. Hmmm...

"Carson!"

There he was, staring at me. His doggie breath traveled across the room quickly, as I heard him shouting. It was hot, filled with anxiety. I knew this was a dangerous situation that demanded my utmost attention to detail.

"What's the situation, Chief?" I asked.

"Don't call me Chief! I'm the Commander of this base, Carson!"

"Right," I responded.

I knew he wasn't one to be toyed with. Not now. Not with the scent of criminal activity in the air. My psychic sense knew something was up. Something was off in the city...Newtech City!

"There's been a rash of car thefts in Newtech City. You're the only one who can solve this crime, Carson. The latest theft happened outside the Newtech Mall. Get down there!"

I knew it, I thought.

"Where are the others?" I asked.

"Dr. Manx has lost a contact lens in her laboratory. The others are struggling to help her find it," he said.

"I didn't know Kat wore contacts," I said.

"I didn't say they were hers. Only YOU can catch this thief, Carson! Newtech City is counting on you!" Cruger yelled as loud as he could.

I got the message.

"I'm on it, Chief!" I shouted, saluting my chief before leaving through those doors.

As the doors closed, I heard the faint sound of Cruger again shouting.

"Don't call me Chief!"

Downtown Newtech City, 2 p.m.

As I rode my trusty patrol cycle into the area, my mind veered to the danger and utter terror that was currently gripping Newtech City. A ring of car thefts had clearly surrounded the city and I was the only one who could free the residents from their fear. I knew what I had to do.

As I rolled into the crowded parking deck, I passed several bystanders. They were scared, unsettled by their questions about this senseless act. I could hear those questions as I dismounted my cycle, with my helmet still on.

"Who's that?"

"What's he doing here?"

"Where are the real cops?"

I had to reassure them and make sure that they understood the situation. I removed my helmet slowly, tucking it underneath my arm. I turned to those bystanders and smiled warmly.

"Carson...Bridge Carson," I announced.

Most of them stared back at me with confused looks on their faces. I was beginning to feel a confused look appearing on my own face as a result.

"I'm Bridge Carson," I said, as I raised my hand. "I'm here to investigate the theft!"

One of them pointed off to the right. I turned and saw an empty parking spot. A vehicle had been parked there, but now there was nothing left but a black stain. I knelt down next to it and rubbed one of my gloved fingers through the sludge. I smelled it.

"Motor oil!"

Behind me, I could feel the cold staring eyes of the bystanders. They wanted answers.

"Tsk, tsk!" I said, as I stood. "This is not up to Newtech City emissions standards."

"Where's my car?"

I turned to see a short elderly woman approaching, carrying three shopping bags in one hand. She carried a cane in the other, which she used to help her walk. As she stepped, she jiggled a bit, as she was a bit hefty for her height. Her white wig shook a bit as well, along with the spectacles on her wrinkled face. I walked over, placing a reassuring hand on her shoulder.

"Ma'am, was your car parked here?"

"Yes! I only went into the mall for a few items," she said, in her old crotchety way. "How am I gonna get home?"

She was right. I could tell she had only went into the mall for a few things. One of her bags contained a yellow cashmere sweater, a real beauty. The second much-smaller bag held a large bottle of shampoo. The third bag, however, had something of supreme interest to this case. I reached my hand in and pulled out a smaller white bag within it.

"What's this?" I asked.

"Those are cookies," the old lady said. "I got hungry walking in the mall."

"Mmhmm," I said, as I pulled one of the cookies from the white bag and tasted it.

As I crunched on the hard baked good, which was practically stale, I made a mental note to seek out the baker and give him a good scolding over his goods. I also turned back to the crime scene, knowing this mystery was going to take some time to solve.

"Did anyone see anything?" I asked to the bystanders.

The old lady looked intently amongst the crowd as well. She wanted to know what they knew.

"Yes!" one woman said, sounding a bit impatient.

"Go on," I said.

"I was the one who called the police in the first place. I didn't know they were sending S.P.D.. The perp wasn't even an alien!"

"How do you know it was a perp?" I asked. "It could have been the car's owner returning to pick up his or her car."

"I was parked right over there. I heard the window break on the car and I peeked over. He saw me looking and he jumped into the van and sped off," the female witness explained.

"So, you got a good look at him, did you?"

"Yes," the woman claimed.

There was only one way to know for sure. I pulled a pad from my back pocket and a pencil from another.

"Describe him," I ordered her.

Twenty minutes later, I had a pretty good drawing of my criminal. Blond hair, blue eyes, human male. There weren't many of those walking the streets of Newtech City these days. It was time to return to the base and process my evidence. I headed back to my bike.

"Where are you going?" the old lady asked.

"I'm going back to base. I have some clues to go over."

"But, how am I going to get home?" she asked, as I mounted my cycle. The old lady walked over to me.

"I would offer you a ride, ma'am, but at the speed I'm going, there's no way that hair would stay intact," I said to her.

"What are you talking about?" she said, offended, as she leaned in closer, whispering. "This is my real hair!"

"Sure it is," I responded, as I placed the half-eaten cookie back into it's bag in her hand. "I'd take those back while waiting for a cab. They're just not buttery!"

I replaced my helmet and sped off out of the parking deck, leaving behind a group of spectators whom I knew were still in fear for their lives...or at least their cars' lives.

Space Patrol Delta Headquarters, 1:36 p.m. (the following day)

I sat in the Command Center, watching the computer screen as the images of faces passed by at almost lightspeed. None of them gave me the answers I wanted.

"No. No. No. No. No. No. No."

The cycle had continued for almost an hour. No blond-haired, blue-eyed human male criminals were in the S.P.D. files. I had reached a dead-end. The doors to the room slid open and my chief walked in. I nodded upon seeing him.

"Carson, what have you found?"

"Not much," I replied, sounding a bit disappointed. "Each theft occurred at exactly the same time, 1:30 p.m. and in a public place. Every witness says they saw the same guy steal the cars, but I can't find any record of the thief. If he's that good, he has to have a record, right?"

"Maybe he's that good," Cruger replied.

"Lucky for us, so am I," I told the chief.

"Well, I don't think we'll get too many complaints from the victims," Cruger said. "I just got a report on all the stolen vehicles. They were all heavily insured."

I nodded, as I listened.

"How are the others doing?" I asked him.

"Dr. Manx's lens has not been found yet. Her latest experiment into eye lasers may have to be scrapped," Cruger told me.

I shook my head. I couldn't believe it. Kat's experiment was too valuable to be lost. The others had to help her find that contact lens. I wished I could help too, but right now, I had a bigger case to solve. I had to find those missing cars.

Suddenly, I heard the alarms sounding around me. I looked over at the chief, as he checked the controls and looked over to me.

"Another car has been stolen! Get down there, Carson!"

"Right, chief!" I yelled, as I sprinted out the doors.

I could hear Cruger's fist pounding on his console.

"And stop calling me Chief!" he yelled.

Downtown Newtech City, 2:02 p.m.

I sped onto the scene, again riding my patrol cycle. I surveyed the area and there was once again a bit of a crowd growing. None of the bystanders looked the same as before. There was, however, a young man amongst them trying to flag me down. I stopped in front of him and dismounted.

"What's the situation, citizen?" I asked, valiantly.

"My car. It's been stolen!"

"It's all right, lad. Don't get yourself all worked up," I said, trying to reassure him. I patted his head of dark brown hair.

"Lad? I'm 26 years old! Now, what are you gonna do to find my car?"

"Hold on there," I responded quickly. "I'll ask the questions around here. Now, did anyone see the theft?"

"Yeah, I saw it myself!" the young man spoke.

I was confused, as I looked at him.

"Really? You saw the culprit steal your car?" I asked.

"Yeah. I came out of the record store and when I turned the corner, I saw him speeding off."

"So, it was a man?"

"Yeah. He had short blond hair," the victim replied.

"Let me guess. He also had blue eyes?"

"I don't know. I didn't see his eyes," the victim said.

"Hmm," I pondered.

There was no oil stain like there was at the last scene. No clues whatsoever, besides the skid marks from the tires where the car had sped away. They ran out a few meters down the street. There was seemingly no trail. I stroked my chin, as I thought.

"So, what are you gonna do to get my car back?" the young man/victim/witness asked.

I turned to him and looked into his eyes. "I don't know yet," I said, as I did a handstand right there in front of everyone and closed my eyes, right on the spot where the car had been. That's it! It came to me and it was starting to make sense. I opened my eyes and got back to my feet. I turned back to the victim.

"Lucky for you, I know cars," I told him. He didn't believe me.

"Really? What kind do you drive?"

"I don't drive a car," I said smugly. What was this guy thinking? "Those smog-causing environmental pollutants should be outlawed in this day and age."

I heard the slight gasps from the bystanders. I put a reassuring hand on the victim's shoulder.

"But, don't you worry. I'll get your smog-causing environmental death trap back to you soon. I promise. I may have figured out this mystery," I told him, as I looked into his eyes, hoping to see some sense of hope in them.

All I saw was worry. I gave him a reassuring smile, as I boarded my cycle and sped away.

Space Patrol Delta Headquarters, 1:28 p.m. (the following day)

"Carson!"

I heard the chief shouting my name even before he entered the Rec Room. The doors slid open and I saw Cruger enter, staring right at me. But, I wasn't staring back at him. I was staring elsewhere. I knew he was staring because of my psychic powers. My amazing psychic powers, which were about to help me crack this mystery. Cruger walked up to me, but I continued to stare away from him.

"Carson! My blood pressure is rising by the day. You still haven't cracked this car theft ring. What are you doing sitting in here on your butt?"

"Well, chie—" I thought twice before finishing that sentence. I could sense Cruger's fury rising towards me.

"Well, sir," I corrected myself. "I'm waiting."

"Waiting? For what?"

"For 1:30," I responded calmly.

"Expecting another car theft?"

"Actually, I am. This time I'm going to be ready. I just have to catch my culprit in the act and this case will be all wrapped up," I explained.

"And just how are you going to do that?"

I pulled my morpher from its holster and held it up to my face, smiling at Cruger.

"With this, of course," I said, as I opened the device.

I glanced back at the clock, as there was only a minute left. I knew exactly what was happening downtown and it was time to put an end to it. Using my morpher's scanner, I ran for the door, headed for my cycle. I looked at the morpher's readings and saw the moving red dot. My culprit was on the move. It was now or never.

Downtown Newtech City, 1:33 p.m.

As I arrived at the location of the red dot, I saw him! My enemy, my opponent, my prey, my white whale. This was the showdown I had been waiting for. I didn't even need my sirens. He could smell the stench of the law on his tail. As I sped into the parking lot, I saw the blond-haired, blue-eyed man flee from the vehicle and go running down an adjacent street, as people were beginning to gather.

"I think he was trying to steal that car," one man spoke up, as I dismounted and dishelmeted.

"I know," I said confidently, as I checked the clock on my cycle. I had perfect timing.

I walked closer to the vehicle and stood tall, smiling. I don't think the bystanders understood what was happening.

"Are you just gonna stand there?" the man asked. "He's getting away. Shouldn't you go after him?"

I just smiled. Then, I noticed a woman making her way through the crowd. She was beautiful. Her long, jet-black hair suited her frame well. She was wearing sunglasses, as she approached me.

"What's going on? What are you doing by my car?"

"Someone tried to steal it," another bystander chimed in.

"What? When?" she looked worried.

"Just now," I said. "But I thwarted him!"

"No, you didn't," the contradictory man spoke again. "You let him get away."

"No, I didn't," I reassured him.

"Well, where is he?" another bystander called out.

"He's right here!" I shouted, as I ripped the sunglasses from the newest victim's face, glancing into her piercing blue eyes. "Blue eyes! I knew it!"

"What are you talking about?" she said, looking incredulous. That's quite a look.

I began to hear groans from the crowd. They too didn't believe.

"You did it all!" I shouted at the woman. "You see, I found it strange that the victims of the thefts all seemed to arrive at about the same time after the cars were stolen. Now, every witness can attest to seeing a blond-haired, blue-eyed young man stealing the cars and you, SIR, have blue eyes!"

"Did you just call me sir?" the victim looked shocked.

"Would you prefer, perp?" I said, as I snatched the long black wig off of his head.

I heard the gasps from the crowd, as I uncovered the blond-headed culprit.

"How?" he shouted.

"It's quite simple, actually. Your eyes gave you away. Well, that and my psychic powers," I explained. "You see, back at the first theft, I had my suspicions about the so-called victim. She too wore a wig. Now for someone of her apparently advanced age, that's not so strange. However, she was also buying shampoo! I don't know many old ladies that buy expensive shampoo to wash their wigs!"

"That's no evidence," the perp shouted at me, as I cuffed him, pulling the car keys from his cross-dressing pocket.

"But, there's more. You gave yourself away the second time, because I got to the scene too quickly. You didn't have time to disguise yourself too well. The eyes again gave you away. Once my psychic powers kicked in, I knew you were lying to me, wearing another wig. You must have quite a collection," I said.

"You can't prove anything."

"But I can," I said, as I whipped out my morpher. "See this? That red dot is you! I hid a tiny tracking device on you when I patted you on the shoulder at the last scene!"

More gasps were heard. I smiled. I had him.

"You couldn't!"

"I did!" I said valiantly.

"Wait!" the male bystander spoke up. "If the victim is the culprit, then why was he stealing his own cars?"

"He wasn't!" I said, as I walked over to the car. "That's where my psychic powers came in handy again. He had the keys the entire time. He only staged the thefts so that he could profit twice! Once from selling the cars on the black market and a second time for the insurance money thanks to his disguises. You see, the real car's owner is right here!"

I unlocked the trunk of the car and opened it, revealing the real car's owner. I knew it! A beautiful raven-haired girl, with green eyes in her underwear.

"Hot!"

...Sorry. I couldn't control myself there. So, back to the story. There was really only one thing left to say.

"Case closed!"

Cue Theme Music:
He's Carson...Bridge Carson!

"That's me!"

"Shut up!"

Bridge stirred in his bed, opening his eyes to see his roommate, Sky Tate, staring at him from across the room.

"What?" Bridge asked, groggy.

"You're talking in your sleep!" Sky said, angrily. "That stupid 'Carson, Bridge Carson' crap again! Cut it out. I'm trying to sleep."

"Sorry. It's not like I can control my dreams, Sky. It was a good one too. I saved this really hot girl from this car jacker and—"

"Bridge!"

"Sorry," Bridge said, sadly, as he turned over, thinking back to his amazingly heroic dream. He closed his eyes.

Cue Theme Music:
Making bad guys Shudder, with a side of Butter...
Carson, Bridge Carson!

Bridge mouthed the words to the song from inside his head, as a blue pillow collided with his head, thrown from across the room.

"Ouch!"

THE END

Author's Note: I was experiementing with my writing style and was a little bored on vacation when I came up with this idea. At this point, I don't plan on adding anymore "Cases" to this story. However, if you enjoyed it, drop me a review (same goes for if you hated it) because I may pick it up again sometime.