Little Oneshot that I thought of randomly. Everybody talks about how Rosalie feels about Bella having Nessie and having a baby but nobody really shows how Alice felt. So I thought I would write about that!
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the Twilight characters.
Jasper's POV
I couldn't stand the atmosphere downstairs anymore. It was suffocating. Edward's pain, suffering self hatred. Rosalie's smugness, and yearning. Jacob's jealously and hatred for Edward, worry for Bella. Esme and Carlisle's constant worry. It was too much. I hardly remembered what happiness felt like. Bella would give random bursts of happiness, that would quickly be diminished by worry. Even my little pixie was sad and in angry up the stairs in the attic. That was the worst part. Alice, usually a walking ball of happiness was anything but these days. I hated every minute my sweet Alice was unhappy.
I glanced up the stairs, hearing little Alice pacing upstairs. I went up, trying to find her. I found her in a minute standing in the attic amongst several boxes. She didn't seem to notice me, as she gave a loud growl launching something across the room. It slammed against the wall causing a loud crack to spred through the wall. I winced at the pure anger and frustration rolling off of her.
"Alice." I said gently. She growled again, sliding down the wall, her head in her hands. Sadness and pain welled up inside her, withdrawing the anger. "Pixie." I whispered, moving forward. She sighed, her shoulders shaking as she gave sad dry sobs. I was there in an instand wrapping my arms around her tiny body. She leaned into me, wrapping an arm around my waist.
"I'm useless. I hate this." She sobbed. I stroked her hair. I let her pour the pain out, instead of calming her myself. I knew that was best.
"Your not useless, Alice." I said gently, rubbing her back.
"I can't see anything. Edward is falling apart and I can't give him any hope." She sighed, her whole body shaking. "I don't want her to die. I don't want my sister gone."
"She's going to be fine. She's strong and determined." I said. I wanted to believe this for myself. For Edward and my family. We all needed Bella. She was a part of this family now and if we lost her...we would all be hurt.
"But we don't know." Alice cried jerking away. I knew this anger. She wanted her sure, solid future. She needed it. She depended on it.
"Alice, it will all be okay. You can still hope like the rest of us." I whispered, reaching out and grabbing her hand. She calmed under my touch, which had nothing to do with my gift. She gave a nod, moving forward to crawl back into my lap.
"This whole family is falling apart." She whispered shaking her head. "Bella is to stubborn."
"She wants the baby. She's fighting for something." I said. Her determination was remarkable. She had more than even Maria. And that was saying a lot. But unlike Maria, it was in the right place. She was fighting for her child, a piece of her and Edward. Something she loved.
"The fetus is killing her." Alice mumbled. "And Rose is no help. She doesn't care anything for Bella." Alice growled again, tightening her grip on my waist. I felt a surge of anger again.
"I know." I loved Rosalie. She was my "twin." But was she was doing was selfish. She was encouraging Bella's death...not because she wanted Bella happy...because she wanted the baby for herself.
"She's ridiculous." Alice snapped again. I heard a hiss from downstairs, and I knew Rose had heard us. Alice didn't seem to care, as she snuggled into the crook of my neck. We sat for several minutes, as I felt Alice's feeling swirl around. Anger, sadness, pain, frustration. They went around and around. Then...
"Why are you jealous?" I asked suddenly caught of guard. I hadn't expected that. Where had it come from? Alice didn't respond, just sat still as death. "Alice?" I asked again, pushing her back gently. She growled warningly, not meeting my eyes.
"Leave me alone Jasper." she snapped, leaning back against my chest. I grabbed her chin gently, jerking her head up.
"Why are you jealous Alice? Please." I whispered staring down at her.
"It's nothing...its stupid." she whispered, looking torn.
"Alice." I begged, my voice breaking. I couldn't take her hurting anymore. Her eyes snapped to mine, her bottom lip quivering.
"I'm being stupid. Like Rosalie." she whispered so low, even my ears hardly heard her.
"It's not stupid."
"You don't even know what it is." She mumbled. I kissed her forehead, rubbing her hand gently.
"Then tell me." I prompted. She sighed, glancing down at our intertwined hands.
"I'm jealous of Bella." She whispered. That caught me off guard. This was one of the few times I wished I could read minds like Edward. Then it clicked. Like Rosalie. Alice wanted a baby too.
"Oh Alice." I whispered pulling her close. She began sobbing again, sadness for herself and the baby she could never have. In all the years we had been together Alice had never mentioned a baby. Rosalie had wanted a child through her human life, and Carlisle always said that we brought our biggest human attributes with us. But Alice didn't remember humanity. For all I knew she had wanted children when she was human. But never in the years we had been together had she mentioned having children. But Alice was logical...she knew we couldn't so why spend time wallowing over it?
"I want a baby too. I want a little Jasper." She whispered, looking up at me. I could hardly look her in the eyes, I could hardly look at the pain.
"How long have you been sitting on this?" I asked, smoothing back her hair.
"Remember the Dalmor's?" She asked gently, looking up at me. I nodded. It was a neighbor of ours that we had when we had lived in Albany New York in 1937. We had stopped to live there on our look for the Cullens. "When I saw Becca's baby...how she looked at her. I wanted that too."
"You've been thinking about this for 70 some years?" I asked, pain welling up. Why had she not told me? Why had I not seen it? I could practically read my Alice's mind...and I had missed this for so long. Had Edward known? Why didn't he tell me?
"I don't dwell on it all the time like Rose...it's just...Bella getting pregnant. It brought it up." Alice mumbled, looking down. "I want a little baby Jasper."
"Alice..." I whispered, sending a wave of calm over her. She sighed, her eyes closing. "You know if I could give you a child I would do it in a second."
"I know Jazzy." She said softly laying her hand against my cheek. "And you know...I would only want a child with you. Like I said...I want a little Jasper." she smiled. It was the first smile I'd seen from her in weeks. It sent a warmth through me. "I love you always Jasper Whitlock."
"I love you too." I whispered, sending a wave of love over her. She smiled gently leaning forward and kissing me. "But Alice...you can't keep things like that from me again. I need to know if your hurting over something."
She gave an apoligetic look. "I know. It just...was silly to me. I know I can't have a child. I couldn't wallow over it all the time. And I didn't want to worry you. It just rushed back when I found out about Bella. I...I felt bad for thinking that I would do the same. That I understand. I didn't want to hurt Edward more."
I nodded. "I understand." Alice...always thinking of everyone but herself. This family came before her...I came before her. "Are you alright know?" I asked. I checked her feelings. There was...content, happiness. In the back there was the pain, sadness and worry. I knew that wouldn't go away but she was a little bit better. So I was better.
She nodded, giving me another small smile. "Thank you Jazzy." She smiled, kissing me gently. I smiled against her lips.
"Jasper! Carlisle found something!" Emmett's booming voice called, making me sigh. Alice pulled away gently, standing with me.
"Are you staying up here?" I asked, glancing around the dark dusty attic. So opposite to my bright little Alice. "Bella misses you. She asked where you were."
Alice frowned, sadness coming over her. "I miss her too." She whispered. "I'll go down." I leaned down kissing her forehead heading down the stairs with her. My hope Alice...she was going to be okay.
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Alice's POV
I made my way down the stairs with Jasper, stopping and kissing him one last time before he walked in with Emmett and Carlisle in Carlisle's study. I made my way down the stairs to the living room where Bella was. I stopped before I made my way to her, fighting back my pain. I didn't want to see her in pain or Edward in pain. But I missed her so much.
"She misses you." Edward whispered suddenly beside me. I glanced up at him, his pained dead face.
I'm sorry I can't help. I sent. He looked toward me, his eyes softening.
"Just be with her....that will help." He said, giving me a pained smile. I nodded. I walked into the living room to see Bella's shrunken form on the couch, Rosalie at her feet watching TV. Bella glanced over at me her face lighting up.
"Alice!" She smiled, the skin streching over her cheek bones. I kept my face straight at the spasm of pain at seeing her so sickly. I gave a smile though, moving forward.
"Rose, leave so Alice can spend time with Bella." Edward said, his voice dead. Rosalie growled, glaring at him.
"She's just fine with me." I said, glaring at Rose. She sighed, fliping back her hair and getting up. Edward glanced at me, following her.
"Are you okay?" Bella asked me suddenly, her brown eyes filled with concern. Of course Bella was sitting here dying and she was worried about me.
"Shouldn't I ask you that?" I sighed, looking at her. She sighed, shrugging.
"I'm fine." She said, a hand going over her bulging stomach. 8 days home and she was so big. "Really." She said, obviously seeing the worry in my eyes. "Even you are mad at me huh?" she sighed.
"I'm not mad. But your dying Bella. That...thing is killing you." I whispered, pain filling my eyes. If I could cry I would have. "I'm going to lose my sister."
"Your not. And he's worth it." She whispered, her hand caressing her swollen stomach lovingly.
"He?" I asked. "I thought I ultrasound wouldn't work."
"It doesn't...but I want a boy...like Edward." she blushed, turning red.
I want a little Jasper.
"Yeah..." I said gently.
"Have...haven't you ever wanted a baby?" Bella whispered, glancing at me. It was a begging look, pleading for me to understand. And I did. I wasn't going to lie to her. Sorry Edward.
"Yes...I have wanted a baby." I mumbled, looking up at her.
"You understand?" Bella asked gently, staring down at her stomach.
"Yeah, I understand." I whispered.
"You don't hate me?" Bella begged, a tear slipping down her cheek.
"Oh Bella. You're ridiculous." I smiled, giving a small laugh. She smiled leaning forward and wrapping her arms around me. "I love you Bella." I whispered gently. I felt her shoulders shake with a sob.
"I love you too Alice. Thank you." She cried, pulling away. She gave a sniff, smiling at me gently. "I...I'm glad we're okay. I thought you were...mad. I didn't want you mad."
"I know." I said gently. Bella sighed, leaning back against the couch.
"Thanks Alice." she smiled. I nodded, giving the best smile I could. I couldn't be mad at Bella. Because despite it all...I would do the same for my little Jasper. Maybe that was another reason it was so hard to be around her. Because I couldn't be mad at her like Edward wanted. I watched as she laid back, more relaxed now. She was asleep within minutes. Edward was back, his face blank and dead again.
I'm so sorry Edward. I sighed, looking over at him. He gave a stiff nod. I love her too...but I can't help but understand.
"I know. I can't blame you for that Alice." He sighed, looking over at me. "But you want her happy and alive too... I can't be mad at you."
"Thank you." I whispered standing. He nodded, as I moved past him.
I sighed, heading back to Jasper. My loving Jasper.
There you go! hope you like it. I know Alice is a little OOC but it's my story lol. Please review and no flames.