Title: Paranoid Perceptions
Author: sapphire17
Pairings: House/Wilson/Chase
Rating: PG-13
Summery: Foreman gets suspicious. Either House, Wilson, and Chase really are up to something, or Foreman's lost his mind. Either way, Foreman's determined to prove either one or the other.
Warnings: References from "Meaning" and "Euphoria". Also a very confused!shocked!Foreman.
Prompt: #16 at wtf27 – You see, I woke up gay
A/N: This is very, very crazy and high on crack. Not as high on crack as it could've been and as I almost made it, but it's still high. It was written for wtf27, though, so that's the point. It's hard to believe I could take such little prompts and make such crazy things out of them, but when I look at some of the community's other prompts like "genderswap", "hookers", and "pornstars", I realize it could get much, much crazier – especially for a non-anime/video game fandom like House M.D.. *pictures pornstar!Chase* XD... I do intend on using House M.D. for several more of the prompts...
I placed the fic somewhere after "Meaning", I guess, though I'm not sure why, and I'm not sure where the idea for any of this came from. I think I just really wanted to write confused!shocked!Foreman.
Disclaimer: Nope, don't own um'. ;P
Paranoid Perceptions
Exhaling deeply, Dr. Eric Foreman shook his head. With one elbow propped atop the table before him, he meanwhile rested the side of his face in his right-hand – sighing once again.
"Hey."
No answer.
"Hello?"
Still no answer.
Foreman's concentration, or rather lack of it, was broken by a slight knock on his outer arm. The doctor halfway turned-around in his seat to see Dr. Allison Cameron, one of his fellow colleagues.
"Are you okay?" Cameron inquired, then taking a seat across the circular table for Foreman.
Foreman fought the impulsive reaction to roll his eyes, but answered with a 'yes' nonetheless.
"Are you sure?" Cameron then asked, pressing the issue. "You've been in the cafeteria for nearly twenty minutes now, and yet you still haven't touched your lunch. You've just been sitting here."
Great, what are you? My watch dog? Foreman thought to himself. He might have said this out loud if it weren't for the fact that this was Cameron pointing everything out to him. They'd already gone through the rather childish fight of being 'colleagues, not friends' quarrel in the past, and Foreman didn't want to risk rousing it up again – not when he actually did value Cameron as a friend.
"Cameron, I assure you I'm just fine here," Foreman finally remarked, "I've just got a lot on my mind..."
Cameron knew it may not have been wise to ask, but she couldn't help but do so all the same.
"Like what?"
Foreman shrugged. "I don't know how to put this, but it's the guys..."
"Huh?" Cameron's brows furrowed. "You mean House?"
"Not just House," Foreman corrected, "But Chase, and Dr. Wilson, too. They've been acting... funny..."
The brunette chuckled at this, thinking 'when are those guys not funny, especially House?' Of course... little did she realize how off-base her thoughts were in comparison to Foreman's.
"Look, I don't know how to explain this," continued Foreman, trying to find the right words. "I mean... I feel like they're up to something behind my back."
"I'm confused," Cameron admitted, "What do you mean by 'up to something'?"
"It's like... the three of them will be in a room, and then I walk-in, and they all abruptly shut-up about whatever they were talking about."
"So you think they've been talking about you?"
"No, that's not it. I think if House wants to insult me, he'll just insult me to my face. Chase and I have always been pretty good friends, and I don't even really know Wilson that well," Foreman stated in response. "No, what I mean is something different. But it's so crazy, I think I must be crazy for thinking it..."
Cameron blinked. Obviously, she was missing something here. Or, Foreman just wasn't stating it to begin with. As far as she could tell, she was betting that Foreman was feeling left-out when it came to their work; that House was simply giving Chase more assignments than Foreman. She supposed that didn't really explain where Wilson fit-in to any of this, but there had to be a logical explanation for it all. To get right down to it, though, she figured Foreman was just in an off-mood, and making something out of nothing.
Foreman held-back a reflexive laugh at how ridiculous he felt his own thoughts to be, temporarily shaking his head side-to-side before continuing. "Have you ever noticed that House and Dr. Wilson have always spent a lot of time together?"
"Well, yes, I suppose."
Foreman took a breath. "And that lately, that 'a lot of time' seems to take place behind closed doors, before Chase just 'happens' to disappear whenever House and Wilson disappear?"
Cameron looked down in contemplation, before turning her glance back to Foreman. "I have an idea of what you may be getting at, but I'm going to pretend I'm wrong."
"Good," Foreman replied simply, "Since I'm going to do the same."
He then began to rise from his seat, noting the time. He had less than five minutes before he went back on active duty. In the process of gathering his food from the table, Foreman once again looked back at his coworker.
"And Cameron? We never had this conversation..."
"Oh, well, okay..."
By this point in time, near to an hour had passed, and Foreman still found his mind's curiosity right where it was before...
Steadily, he paced down one of many wide hallways, clipboard in hand. Despite the fact that it had been a somewhat slow week in the way of mind-boggling medical cases, Foreman had a fresh list of new ones for House to look over. He had a good feeling House wouldn't find any of them interesting enough to take-on, but at the moment, Foreman had nothing better to do.
Foreman eyed House's office as he closed-in on it, nearing the closed door.
However, he stopped a foot in front of it when he heard a set of all too-familiar voices.
"Now come on, it's hard enough for you, just like you like it, so don't tell me you don't feel up to it right now."
"Well, if you insist..."
"That's right, on the desk."
Foreman gasped to himself, covering his mouth with a hand as he neared his left-ear to the door. Those were the voices of House and Chase, alright...
"This isn't really what I had in mind..."
"But it's exactly what I have in mind, so you're going to take it."
"But House—"
"On the desk."
"Fine..."
"Don't sound so upset; you know you've been looking forward to this all day. It's just what the doctor ordered."
Outside the door, Foreman continued to listen to everything in shock. Was he really hearing what he thought he was hearing...?
"Hey."
No answer.
"Hello?"
Still no answer.
Cameron sighed in instantaneous aggravation. This was getting too old, too fast.
Foreman jumped in temporary startle when Cameron's clipboard slapped him lightly on the outer-arm.
"What are you doing?" Cameron questioned with definite interest, a disgruntled look upon her face.
"I, uh..." Foreman stammered, "Just came to give this list to House."
"Oh good, that's why I'm here, too."
Foreman quickly blocked Cameron from entering House's office.
"Foreman, cut it out," Cameron sighed, "I don't have time for this."
"Uh, you can't go in there. House is... busy..."
"Busy doing what?"
Foreman then heard a loud slam, followed soon after by a sudden "Ah!" exclaimed from within the office.
Busy doing Chase... thought Foreman.
Cameron's brows furrowed. "What was that?"
"Probably nothing," Foreman quickly remarked, "Uh, House just probably slipped or something. Yeah."
"But that didn't sound like House," Cameron protested. "Let me in there, I want to see what's going on."
"I can't do that, Cameron," Foreman urged, "Trust me; it's for your own good..."
Cameron's expression became all the more annoyed when Foreman failed to move from her path, until finally, she just pushed him out of the way. "I don't know what's gotten into you today, but you're the one who's been acting strange."
Foreman froze when Cameron's hand touched the doorknob. He really didn't need to see what was on the other side...
The door slowly opened to reveal...
...House and Chase, fully clothed, standing on opposite sides of the room...
Foreman's jaw dropped. And to think – this should've been the scene less likely to surprise someone...
"Is everything okay in here?" Cameron inquired upon stepping into House's office, "It sounded like someone fell."
"Yes," House answered with a sigh, "Mr. Coordination over there was just demonstrating how not to walk across an office for me."
Chase grumbled, his annoyance peaking. "It's not my fault I stubbed my ankle at the base of your desk. That's not the place to put a shoebox, in my opinion..."
House smirked. "When I want your opinion, I'll ask for it. You see, humans and animals alike were given the gift of peripheral vision for a reason. That shoebox would've eaten you if it were alive."
"I think I'll be leaving now," Chase said with a sarcastic smile, straightening out his long, white coat.
"Nah ah," House quickly spoke before Chase had the chance to complete a single step across the room. "On the desk."
The blonde doctor pouted, exhaling as he turned to pick-up a clipboard with several papers attached to it. Shortly thereafter, he exited the office in a hasty fluster.
Cameron sprung a look of confusion. "What was that all about?"
"He doesn't like the assignment I gave him," House remarked, walking across the room to pick-up the crushed-shoebox. "And damn, my new Nikes. He will pay, and my balls will be bouncing off his head far more than he can handle."
Foreman blinked, scratching the back of his head. He knew House had been referring to Nerf Balls, but still... that hadn't sounded right... But oh hell, what was he thinking? Maybe Cameron was right...
Foreman was loosing it...
Another hour had gone by, and Foreman grunted. Was his mind seriously that fucked-up now? Maybe the piece of brain that had been extracted was somehow connected to putting the lock-up on his more perverted thoughts, as they had seemingly been getting all the more perverted lately... Either that or they'd inadvertently removed his straightness.
Foreman shuddered.
Scratch that.
Foreman ambled down another one of the hospital's many halls. Earlier he'd run into Cuddy, who requested he deliver a few files and such to Dr. Wilson.
It wasn't long before a rather frustrated Foreman found himself standing a foot in front of Wilson's office. The door was closed, so Foreman only found it proper that he knock before entering. He was about to do so, raising his fist, until...
"I just get so frustrated with him sometimes... I feel so tied-down."
"Well, that's because House has got you tied-down a good deal of the time."
"I know... and he always says I shouldn't care because I enjoy it, but he's right; I do enjoy it..."
Foreman's fist froze in place before it ever reached the door's wooden surface. This was all too familiar... Only this time, Chase was in Wilson's office. Foreman's intuition told him something strange was going on in there... but then a sudden replay of what had previously taken place at House's office earlier in the day went through Foreman's mind and he knew he had to be thinking crazy again...
"He's always so much more rough with me than he is with you, though..."
"Well, he's known me longer, don't forget. Also, you can't forget your place is under him."
"And under you, too, I know..."
Foreman's jaw had dropped impulsively yet again on that day. Did Wilson and Chase realize what they sounded like? What if they were really talking about... stuff... the stuff. It was possible, wasn't it?!
"Don't fret, though. Maybe one day, you'll make it to the top."
"Or I'm just destined to be on the bottom for all eternity. My poor dignity..."
"Chase, it's nothing to be ashamed of. The important thing is that you enjoy yourself and gain some experience."
"But I am experienced...!"
"Trust me; you need more. Both House and myself have a lot we can teach you."
Foreman fought the urge to bang his head against the doorway. They weren't talking about stuff. Not that stuff. He was crazy. Plain and simple.
"Hey."
No answer.
"Hello?"
Still no answer.
Foreman reflexively jumped in reaction to a rather hard slap on the back. He soon turned around to face, surprise surprise, Cameron.
"Foreman..." Cameron began, lightly tapping her foot on the floor, "Now what are you doing?"
"Cuddy... yes, she wanted me to give these files to Dr. Wilson," Foreman spurted-out, gathering his words.
"O... kay..." remarked Cameron, somewhat uneasily. "Then why don't you just walk-in and give them to him?"
"Uh, right..."
Allison waited for Foreman to open the door already, but still, Foreman just... stood there... staring at the doorknob as if it were pure evil...
Cameron sighed with a shake of her head, extending her right-arm as she first knocked on the door. After hearing a 'come in' following, she made forth to go ahead and open the door for herself.
Right after the door opened, Wilson turned in his chair to face the two doctors over his right-shoulder. Chase, who was already standing in front of Wilson's office desk, merely stood in place before exhaling a sigh of exasperation.
"Hello," Wilson greeted, "How may I help you?"
Neither Cameron, nor Foreman, said anything in response to this. Cameron was waiting for Foreman to inform Dr. Wilson that he had the files from Cuddy to give him, but still, the silence continued.
Finally, Cameron had to result to elbowing Foreman in the side...
"Oh! Right. Here you go," stated Foreman, extending his arm before handing the files to Wilson. "Cuddy asked me to give you these."
"Thank you," Wilson replied, setting the files neatly atop his desk.
"Well, I guess I'll be getting back to work now," Chase declared, beginning to head for the door, "If House catches me over here, he's going to have my you know what..."
"He will anyway..." Wilson muttered; barely audible.
Still, Foreman caught it.
"Chase seems really distraught today," Cameron pointed-out soon after Chase had exited the office.
"Oh he's just having a classic case of 'bad day' syndrome," answered Wilson, who then began opening the files Foreman had delivered to him. "House has been giving him fairly easy on-the-side assignments to work on this week, and Dr. Chase feels it may be because House thinks he doesn't have the intelligence to handle anything more advanced."
"It has been slow around her for the past several days, so I'm not sure what Chase is expecting to be assigned on," Cameron responded, shrugging. "Well, we'll leave you to your work now, so see you later."
Two more hours had gone by, and it was already late afternoon. Foreman still hadn't had a case more exciting than checking a young girl for MRSA, but he didn't know why he was complaining. It was nice to have a slow day without all the hustle-and-bustle for a change.
Still... it didn't feel like 'any old day' to him. He still swore there was something outright strange going on with certain staff members... Foreman soon thought back to his earlier 'office encounters', and of the things he'd heard. Or at least, how he had interpreted the things he'd heard...
"Now come on, it's hard enough for you, just like you like it, so don't tell me you don't feel up to it right now."
"Well, he's known me longer, don't forget. Also, you can't forget your place is under him."
"And under you, too, I know..."
"Both House and myself have a lot we can teach you."
"But it's exactly what I have in mind, so you're going to take it."
"He doesn't like the assignment I gave him."
"Oh he's just having a classic case of 'bad day' syndrome. House has been giving him fairly easy on-the-side assignments to work on this week, and Dr. Chase feels it may be because House thinks he doesn't have the intelligence to handle anything more advanced."
Likely excuses... Right...
Foreman inwardly shuddered.
"No more thinking of that stuff..." Eric murmured to himself. "No more. There's nothing going on. Period."
Foreman grumbled to himself a few more times on the way to the nearest restroom. Well... actually it hadn't been the nearest restroom up until now, technically. The neurologist abruptly came to realize the fact of the matter was that he had walked over half way across the hospital. Obviously, he had become much more lost in his own contemplation than he'd meant to.
Foreman halted his steps just short of the nearby 'employees only' restroom. He was about to enter, but right as he was about to, he heard a couple of familiar voices first...
"What do you make of Chase today?"
"He's even bitchier than you."
"Greg, Chase is always bitchier than me..."
"That's true. You have been bitchy lately, though."
"We went over this the other day, so drop it."
Though Foreman didn't know why, he once again continued to eavesdrop through a door. Apparently, ear hustling was becoming a habit of his.
"I suppose I'll just have to start pestering you again for you-know-what now."
"No, and I'm really not in the mood for this again. You're not getting any from me."
Foreman gasped. Again.
"But Jimmy, you always know I get my way in the end."
"I'm serious, Greg. You're not getting any from me now. It's for your own good, as I think it's getting to where this is all you think about."
"You know I'll just get some from someone else."
"I think you already are..."
"Well, when your hankering for white magic gets strong enough, you gotta do what you gotta do."
"White magic..." Foreman mumbled with his ear to the restroom's door. "That pervert. And wanting to fuck Wilson in a hospital restroom of all places. Then when Wilson refuses to put-out, House runs-off to molest poor, innocent little Chase... He's corrupted him... Pervert..."
"Hey."
No answer.
"Hello?"
Still no answer.
"Damnit, Foreman!"
"Ow!" Foreman half-shouted, instantly spinning around. This time, Cameron had smacked him right atop the head with her clipboard.
"Are you insane, woman?" Foreman then criticized, rubbing the back of his head with his left-hand.
Cameron's mouth opened, before the aggravated doctor placed either of her hands on her hips. "Am I insane? What has gotten into you, Foreman? Is this what you do all day? Stand outside of random doors and eavesdrop on people like a teenage girl hungry for some gossip?"
"But..." Foreman started-off, not knowing exactly how to respond to Cameron's rather reasonable words. "...Just shut the hell up, please."
The restroom door flew open before Cameron had the chance to snap-back with a response to Foreman's previous words. Soon, Dr. Gregory House and Dr. James Wilson exited the restroom one after the other, though Wilson briefly found himself caught in the doorway behind House.
"Coming through here," House stated, implying that Foreman move out his way already.
Foreman sighed in an exasperated manner, and stepped out of the way so House and Wilson could get through. Meanwhile, a nearby Cameron folded her arms and continued to shake her head in disapproval of Foreman's childishness.
"Were you two waiting for us out here?" Wilson inquired, looking at Foreman.
"Oh, well, no," Foreman quickly replied, "I was about to walk-in, when Cameron said she needed to tell me something important and stopped me first."
House then looked to Cameron. "Well, what is it you had to tell him that's so important? Is the apocalypse here or is Cuddy PMSing again?"
Cameron mentally grumbled, but decided to help Foreman out nonetheless. "It wasn't really that important. I was just trying inform him that he needed to get back to work," she stated, emphasizing the way she said those last four words.
"You do that, then," House spoke in his usual, sarcastic voice, "I, however, am going to go throw Skittles at the new janitor before I go outside and practice a primo slide on my skateboard."
"No," Wilson scolded, "I don't want you trying that again."
"For a Vicodin script, you've got it. Otherwise, shut-up."
"We just talked about that," sighed Wilson, "I told you, you're not getting any from me."
Foreman blinked. Was that what House had meant by white magic...? Was that what they had been talking about?
From his pocket, House removed a fresh bag of colorful Skittles, before he turned and began treading down the hallway. Wilson briefly threw his arms up in the air in a classic 'not again' fashion, before he began following House.
"Oh, and Cameron?" House spoke, turning one last time to face Cameron and Foreman, "Next time you're going to cover Foreman's ass, think of a better excuse."
As House and Wilson ambled off down the second-story hall, Cameron once again folded her arms and looked up at Foreman.
"Well? What do have to say now?"
Foreman merely exhaled, rubbing the side of his neck. "I think I need to take a break..."
Two more hours had passed.
Foreman entered one of several empty discussion rooms, and shut the door back into place before taking a seat in an armchair over by the window. Thankfully, his shift was just about over, and he could get out of there and hopefully get some much-needed rest... Apparently, he needed it quite badly at that. He couldn't find any other excuse as to why he had been thinking such crazy thoughts that day...
Maybe House, Wilson, and Chase weren't the real perverts here. Maybe Foreman was the real pervert for interpreting things that way.
It was just the little things... The glances, the exact words spoken and the way they were emphasized, and of course, the way Chase had been walking funny from time to time... But still, everything had to be a coincidence, since there was definitely, positively, absolutely nothing going on...
A loud noise suddenly stirred Foreman's peace and quite, and it wasn't long before he realized he had been asleep. He grunted to himself, wondering how he could have allowed such a thing to happen in the first place. Looking down at his wrist watch, he realized it was already closing-in on 11:00 P.M..
Time to get the hell out here... thought Foreman, briefly yawning as he made way to stand. As he exited the room, he almost thanked the janitor for waking him up with that annoying floor-shining machine. Otherwise, who knows how long Foreman would've been asleep in that chair?
For the moment, the neurologist was almost too tired to recollect on the events that had taken place earlier in the day. Not that he wanted to, though... Hell, he had made a fucking fool of himself, hadn't he? Especially to Cameron. Plausibly, she more than likely figured him to be a complete pervert now.
Making his way over to one of the several elevators, Foreman pressed the 'down' button and waited. At this point in time, all he wanted to do was go home, get some sleep, and wake-up only to pretend this day had never happened...
Less than a minute later, a low ring was heard, indicating the elevator doors were about the open. Foreman waited, only when the elevator's metal doors parted, he saw none other than Dr. Robert Chase standing on the other side of them.
Surprisingly enough, Chase appeared just as surprised to see Foreman there as Foreman was to see Chase. Both their shifts had ended two hours ago, so what was Chase still doing up there?
"What are you...?" both of the doctors began, before Foreman instructed for Chase to go ahead and answer first.
"Oh..." Chase began, almost acting as if he had no real answer. Not one he wanted to give, anyway... "Just some late work I wanted to get out of the way."
"But I was under the impression that no one here really had any work today other than the average check-up cases?"
"I really didn't," answered Chase, who was almost acting like he was in a hurry to get somewhere, "Like I said, I just wanted to get some things out of the way; that's all."
Foreman didn't know why he had any reason to care, but his curiosity ultimately won him out in the end. "Are you about to leave? I know I am."
"Well," Chase began, seemingly in the process of deciphering his own words, "Yes. Yes I am. I just have... something to do first. And, I'm in a hurry, so I'll see you later."
Chase had said that closing sentence so fast that Foreman almost hadn't caught it all the way. In his opinion, though, it didn't seem like Chase was in a hurry to be questioned any further...
Gah, what was Foreman thinking? Again? He was thinking about stuff again. The stuff.
Foreman shook his head in self-shame, glancing over at Chase who was, for lack of better words, skedaddling down the hall. Towards... House's office...
"Stop it. Stop it right now," Foreman muttered to himself as he entered the elevator. "You're not losin' it, man. Just a lil' paranoia, that's all."
It wasn't long before the elevator reached the first floor, and Foreman found himself treading through the lavish lobby. It was near-deserted, but at this hour on a Saturday night, that didn't surprise him one bit.
The long stream of exquisite glass doors were soon in view, and Foreman found himself picking-up the pace. Hopefully, the sooner he got out of the there, the sooner his rather disquieting thoughts would get out of his head. Foreman has just about reached the exit point, when the sudden sound of brash footsteps caught his attention first.
As much as he wanted to go home and get some sleep, Foreman's natural reaction was to look over his shoulder. That was when he wished he hadn't. There, up on the second story, was Dr. Wilson rushing across the hall.
'Just like Chase...'
Now, why the hell was Wilson still there? Did this mean House was there, too? Why was Chase heading towards his office if he wasn't...?
Oh yes, that's right... It's not like House's office was the only room in that hallway, much less the only place to go, for that matter. Sure, there were plenty of rooms Chase could've dropped-by – same thing in Dr. Wilson's case. Besides, even on the off-chance that House just... happened to be there too, and that Wilson and Chase just 'happened' to stop-by his office, didn't mean a thing. Not one damned thing. There were plenty, as in, more than enough, and even a colossal amount of logical, rational explanations for a late night visit to House's office...
...And before he knew it, Foreman was heading back for the elevators...
When Foreman reached House's office, the door was more than half-open, and the lights were still on. The blinds closed.
No one was there.
Foreman found this to be very strange... It seemed so unlikely for House to leave his office unattended, in these conditions, on after-hours – especially when he wasn't even supposed to be there. Of course, this did confirm one thing: House was still there, too.
So... where was he? Where was Wilson? Where was Chase?
Not together, that's for sure... thought Foreman. He was betraying his own thoughts, no doubt, but he'd continue to pretend otherwise just for the sheer hell of maintaining the sanity he suddenly found himself in question about having...
Foreman didn't mean to go into that office. He really didn't. Yet, he was determined to finally, once and for all prove that he had no reason to believe that there was anything going on between House, Wilson, and Chase outside of your average, run-of-the-mill 'professional relationship'.
Besides, if there's one man who definitely wasn't some alley cat baller, it was House. Damn straight.
Well... or not...
Foreman was about to leave nevertheless. If House caught him there, he'd be on his ass for sure.
But not like that. Not like that.
"Ah hell no," Foreman grumbled with a reflexive gag in the back of his throat. "Damn, I am outta here."
...Unfortunately, Foreman no sooner noticed a number of casually-placed items on House's desk.
Foreman's expression became all the more perplexed as he neared the desk, curious as to what the foreign items were.
And, they were condoms, lube, and a gag.
Foreman's eyes became huge, as they widened to the max. What the...? What the hell was going on here?
No. Just no. Damnit, there were so many reasons that those items could have been there. Reasons having nothing to do with anything pertaining to sex whatsoever.
Oh hell... who was Foreman trying to fool?
"...I'm getting the fuck outta here; right now."
Foreman turned, ready to get out of that office like a bat outta hell.
But then, he heard voices. Familiar voices.
"Fuck," Foreman silently cursed, "Oh fuck."
If House caught him in there, he was a dead man with an even deader career. Out of options, Foreman surely picked the worst possible one when he ducked into the nearby closet.
Seconds later, the office door fully opened, and House walked-in – followed by Wilson, and Chase.
In the closet, Foreman froze when he heard that the office door had been locked.
"Greg, there are so many better places to do this than here," Wilson gestured with a sigh. "I can name quite a few, in fact."
"I vote Wilson's place," Chase gleefully stated, "He has that nice king-sized bed with the pretty silk-sheets."
"Shut-up, wombat," House grunted, ambling over to his desk, "As I've told you before, when I want your opinion, I'll ask for it."
Chase smirked in a pouting manner, folding his arms. "You have such a problem with everything that comes out of my mouth, and yet you are so keen with everything that goes into it."
"Such deductive skills," House sarcastically congratulated in the process of removing a few more desirable items from his desk-drawers.
Chase momentarily looked over at Wilson for back-up, but Wilson only shrugged. Chase could only guess that he agreed with House.
In the closet, Foreman abruptly froze when he heard a distinct snapping sound. A sound that remarkably resembled the snapping of a whip...
"Alright, you know the drill, Robbie. On the desk."
"Oh no..." Foreman murmured inaudibly.
"And as for you..." House spoke in what could only be described as a sly, sensual manner.
Foreman could only guess those last words had been directed to Wilson, and it wasn't long before Foreman came to realize that the two had to be making-out from the sound of things...
Chase yet again pouted; leaning back on House's desk as he watched House and Wilson eagerly kiss not even five feet in front of him, their hands working all along each other's bodies. In the midst of feeling left-out, the Australian noticed a set of fuzzy pink handcuffs close by.
Chase blinked, and picked-up the handcuffs by their chain as he uneasily stared at them. "These better not be for me..."
House pulled away from Wilson, and smirked. "Well, they're sure not for me."
"And Greg knows better than to try to get me into something like that..." Wilson muttered knowingly from experience.
Chase blinked, again. "...Will you look at the time, I think I'll be racking off now."
"We had this discussion," House stated with a sigh, grasping onto Chase's outer arm before he had the chance to get away, "The going only comes after the coming."
"I am not wearing those prissy pink handcuffs," Chase argued with a pointing gesture of the hand, "Christ, you two. I may not be a bogan like some people, but that certainly doesn't make me what you refer to as a 'drag queen', either."
"Oh good, then you're going to love the lingerie I got off of eBay for you," House replied with an amused grin on his face.
"Greg," Wilson began in a somewhat scolding tone of voice, "If we're going to force him to wear that stuff, can we please do it outside of the hospital? I get the feeling that certain staff members may be getting wise to us... The last thing we need right now if for Cuddy to walk-in only to see Robert spent and hunched over your desk in garters and fuzzy pink handcuffs while you and I are going at it on the floor."
"Exactly," Chase agreed with a nodding gesture, "I'm worried about Foreman, especially. I really do think he may know something... And wait a minute, what's this about garters?"
"I'm worried about Foreman, too," Wilson admitted in remembrance, "The look on his face today... especially after Greg and I exited the restroom. I knew he had to be eavesdropping."
"You did not, Jimmy," House corrected, growing all the more tired of this conversation. There were so many better things they could be doing. Like fucking, for example. "The idea never even crossed your trusting mind until I mentioned it to you. Besides, I could care less what Foreman thinks. I'm not exactly breaking the monotony there."
Foreman mentally grunted from inside the closet. How damn rude had that been? Now that they were all talking about him, Foreman couldn't help but want to know all the more about what his three colleagues had to say about him. He leaned closer against the closet door's inner side...
...and literally fell-out of the closet shortly thereafter. Apparently, it hadn't been fully-shut to begin with...
Chase froze in shock, Wilson's jaw dropped, and House merely shook his head.
"Joining us so soon, Foreman?" House inquired, his voice full of sarcasm as he cracked the whip in his right-hand, "I had never have guessed it would've taken you this long to come out of the closet."
"Ahh!!!"
"Snap out of it, Foreman!"
Foreman felt as he was shaken by either of his shoulders incessantly, fully opening his eyes to see who was blatantly Cameron staring at him with a worried expression.
"Oh hell, what the..." Foreman spoke, sounding out of breath. "What's going... where am I?"
"We're in the conference room," stated Cameron in a calm voice, "See?"
Trying to calm himself down, Foreman looked around a bit an examined his surroundings. Sure enough, Cameron was right. Foreman soon came to realize that he was still in that same armchair, and had obviously been asleep.
"Foreman, what's going on here?"
"I..." Foreman began, looking shocked, "...just had the worst nightmare of my life."
Cameron relinquished her grasp on Foreman's shoulders, wondering what nightmare could've been drastic enough to scare him this badly.
"What do you mean?"
Foreman sighed hopelessly, realizing this was his own payback for his own thoughts. Hence, only a homosexual person would ever suspect that every guy who walked into a vacant room with another guy was a homosexual. Not to mention having dreams about the said guys doing said things.
"I think I woke up gay..."
"..."
Meanwhile, at House's...
"Do you think Foreman actually suspects anything?" Chase inquired, looking back and forth between House and Wilson.
"Possibly..." was Wilson's mere reply, "Though I'm not completely sure."
"Who cares?" House stated, shrugging the idea off entirely. "If he does, we can always get around to molesting him later. Anyway, we didn't come here to do talk, we came here to do each other. So Robbie, I have a few things off of eBay that I bought especially for you..."
"Oh great..." Chase muttered.
"Whatever he bought, it can't get any crazier than the cane with the extractable whip," Wilson stated with an inward chuckle.
"Oh yes it can," House remarked derisively, directing for Chase and Wilson to follow him into the bedroom.
Both Wilson and Chase exchanged a set of worried looks, and sighed helplessly before following House into the room of doom.
~END
Me: ...