Screamer.
THE CURSE OF THE SMILEY-FACED KILLER.
Scene 1: The Death of Joey and Kenny Osment.
Caption: Halloweenie 2001.
The phone rings and Kenny picks it up.
Kenny: Hello.
Voice: I'm going to kill you, I'm going to chop you up like liver, slice you like salami. You're going to die tonight!
Kenny: (Nodding all through this) Ah ha and who is this?
Voice: Who is this?
Kenny: Hey, you rang me!
Voice: This is Joey Osment isn't it?
Kenny: No this is his father Kenny.
Voice: Oh. Can I please talk to Joey then?
Kenny: Sure I'll just get him. Joey phone call.
Joey gets up and grabs the phone and then sits back down.
Joey: Hello.
Voice: Do you want to die tonight?
Joey: Who is this?
Voice: The question isn't who am I the question is where am I.
Joey: So where are you?
Voice: You're front door.
Joey: Oh sure.
Joey gets up and goes to the door. He opens it carefully and goes outside.
Joey: So where are you?
Voice: Right here.
Joey: Can you see me right now?
Voice: Ah ha.
Joey: (sticks his finger up his nose) Ah ha. Okay. What am I doing? Ha! What am I doing? Hello? Nice try. Bye now.
Voice: If you hang up on me you'll die just like your mother.
Joey: My mother's not dead.
Voice: Oh well you'll die anyway.
Joey: Oh sure. I'm really scared.
Joey hangs up.
The killer is at the kitchen window.
Joey: Oh my god!
He grabs a knife and runs out the side door and hides behind the BBQ.
The killer appears at the gate.
Joey: Oh.
Joey runs round to the front door hitting a tree on the way.
Joey looks around and the front door is open.
The killer jumps through the front door grabbing Joey.
Joey kicks him off and runs into the front yard.
The killer catches up to him, covers his mouth and somebody throws a custard pie at the killer and then he stabs Joey in the chest. Joey is on the ground. Joey hits away his knife but he stabs him again. He kicks the killer off him and struggles to the front door.
Joey: Dad.
He falls to the ground and the killer stabs him again.
Cut to Kenny is his study.
The doorbell rings.
Kenny: I'm coming.
He gets to the door and opens it. Joey's body falls in.
Kenny: No not Joey. Who did this? If you're down here I'd watch out! I know Judo, Karate, Wrestling, Boxing, Kickboxing and Matrix!
The killer appears from the kitchen.
Killer: Matrix?
Kenny: Ah ha. Watch.
He walks into the lounge room and stands in the middle.
Kenny: Alright throw that knife at me.
Killer: Okay.
Kenny: Wait… (He picks up a tennis ball) Better start with something-easier first.
He throws the ball to the Killer.
Kenny: Now throw it at me.
The tennis ball hits him.
Kenny: No wait until I say now.
Kenny starts to do the Matrix duck.
Kenny: Now!
The killer throws the ball at him. In Slow-Mo he dodges it and then falls down.
Kenny: Ah wait a minute.
He tries bending back again but nearly falls down.
Killer: You can't do Matrix moves.
Kenny: Oh yeah. Run towards me.
The killer runs towards him and Kenny levitates into the air. The camera spins around him and then he falls down.
Kenny: Damn. Need more practice. Last move.
Kenny starts to run across the wall but then falls to the ground.
The killer comes to him.
Kenny: Bye, bye Kenny.
A postman enters the room very slowly. (Walking on the Sun plays)
Kenny thinking: Oh my what a handsome man!
Killer thinking: Just look at that chest.
Postman: Kenny Osment.
Kenny: Yeah that's me.
The postman takes off his sunglasses and hands Kenny a parcel.
Postman: Sign here please.
Kenny signs his name.
Kenny: And I wrote my phone number too. You know maybe we could get together some time.
The killer jealously grabs the clipboard and writes something.
Killer: There, I wrote my phone number, fax, mobile and e-mail address. Call me.
Postman: Thank you boys. (He winks and grins then leaves)
Kenny opens the package and takes out a mobile phone. It rings.
Kenny: Hello.
1 Voice: Hello Kenny do you know who this is?
Kenny: Morphius.
Voice: No it's grandpa.
Kenny: Grandpa I'm in a pretty bad situation here.
Grandpa: And I can get you out of it.
Kenny: How?
Grandpa: I can guide you but you have to do exactly what I tell you.
Kenny: Okay.
Grandpa: First thing to do is roll out of the way.
2 Kenny (rolls across the floor and the knife just misses him): How do you know all this?
Grandpa: I'm just guessing really. Now run up to the end of the house.
Kenny runs all the way upstairs.
Grandpa: Now the only way to defeat the killer (beeps)
Woman's voice: To continue this call please insert 10 cents.
Kenny: But it's a mobile phone!
Woman's voice: I said insert 10 cents moron.
Kenny: Damn.
He hangs up and the killer is right behind him.
Kenny: Uh oh.
The killer lifts him up and stabs a knife in his back. Blood comes out of mouth. The killer drops the body.
Kenny: Goodbye cruel world.
Kenny jumps up.
Kenny: And in case I don't see ya good afternoon, good evening and good night.
He falls down dead.
Title Card: HALLOWEENIE. THE CURSE OF THE SMILEY-FACED KILLER.
THE CURSE OF THE SMILEY-FACED KILLER.
Scene 1: The Death of Joey and Kenny Osment.
Caption: Halloweenie 2001.
The phone rings and Kenny picks it up.
Kenny: Hello.
Voice: I'm going to kill you, I'm going to chop you up like liver, slice you like salami. You're going to die tonight!
Kenny: (Nodding all through this) Ah ha and who is this?
Voice: Who is this?
Kenny: Hey, you rang me!
Voice: This is Joey Osment isn't it?
Kenny: No this is his father Kenny.
Voice: Oh. Can I please talk to Joey then?
Kenny: Sure I'll just get him. Joey phone call.
Joey gets up and grabs the phone and then sits back down.
Joey: Hello.
Voice: Do you want to die tonight?
Joey: Who is this?
Voice: The question isn't who am I the question is where am I.
Joey: So where are you?
Voice: You're front door.
Joey: Oh sure.
Joey gets up and goes to the door. He opens it carefully and goes outside.
Joey: So where are you?
Voice: Right here.
Joey: Can you see me right now?
Voice: Ah ha.
Joey: (sticks his finger up his nose) Ah ha. Okay. What am I doing? Ha! What am I doing? Hello? Nice try. Bye now.
Voice: If you hang up on me you'll die just like your mother.
Joey: My mother's not dead.
Voice: Oh well you'll die anyway.
Joey: Oh sure. I'm really scared.
Joey hangs up.
The killer is at the kitchen window.
Joey: Oh my god!
He grabs a knife and runs out the side door and hides behind the BBQ.
The killer appears at the gate.
Joey: Oh.
Joey runs round to the front door hitting a tree on the way.
Joey looks around and the front door is open.
The killer jumps through the front door grabbing Joey.
Joey kicks him off and runs into the front yard.
The killer catches up to him, covers his mouth and somebody throws a custard pie at the killer and then he stabs Joey in the chest. Joey is on the ground. Joey hits away his knife but he stabs him again. He kicks the killer off him and struggles to the front door.
Joey: Dad.
He falls to the ground and the killer stabs him again.
Cut to Kenny is his study.
The doorbell rings.
Kenny: I'm coming.
He gets to the door and opens it. Joey's body falls in.
Kenny: No not Joey. Who did this? If you're down here I'd watch out! I know Judo, Karate, Wrestling, Boxing, Kickboxing and Matrix!
The killer appears from the kitchen.
Killer: Matrix?
Kenny: Ah ha. Watch.
He walks into the lounge room and stands in the middle.
Kenny: Alright throw that knife at me.
Killer: Okay.
Kenny: Wait… (He picks up a tennis ball) Better start with something-easier first.
He throws the ball to the Killer.
Kenny: Now throw it at me.
The tennis ball hits him.
Kenny: No wait until I say now.
Kenny starts to do the Matrix duck.
Kenny: Now!
The killer throws the ball at him. In Slow-Mo he dodges it and then falls down.
Kenny: Ah wait a minute.
He tries bending back again but nearly falls down.
Killer: You can't do Matrix moves.
Kenny: Oh yeah. Run towards me.
The killer runs towards him and Kenny levitates into the air. The camera spins around him and then he falls down.
Kenny: Damn. Need more practice. Last move.
Kenny starts to run across the wall but then falls to the ground.
The killer comes to him.
Kenny: Bye, bye Kenny.
A postman enters the room very slowly. (Walking on the Sun plays)
Kenny thinking: Oh my what a handsome man!
Killer thinking: Just look at that chest.
Postman: Kenny Osment.
Kenny: Yeah that's me.
The postman takes off his sunglasses and hands Kenny a parcel.
Postman: Sign here please.
Kenny signs his name.
Kenny: And I wrote my phone number too. You know maybe we could get together some time.
The killer jealously grabs the clipboard and writes something.
Killer: There, I wrote my phone number, fax, mobile and e-mail address. Call me.
Postman: Thank you boys. (He winks and grins then leaves)
Kenny opens the package and takes out a mobile phone. It rings.
Kenny: Hello.
1 Voice: Hello Kenny do you know who this is?
Kenny: Morphius.
Voice: No it's grandpa.
Kenny: Grandpa I'm in a pretty bad situation here.
Grandpa: And I can get you out of it.
Kenny: How?
Grandpa: I can guide you but you have to do exactly what I tell you.
Kenny: Okay.
Grandpa: First thing to do is roll out of the way.
2 Kenny (rolls across the floor and the knife just misses him): How do you know all this?
Grandpa: I'm just guessing really. Now run up to the end of the house.
Kenny runs all the way upstairs.
Grandpa: Now the only way to defeat the killer (beeps)
Woman's voice: To continue this call please insert 10 cents.
Kenny: But it's a mobile phone!
Woman's voice: I said insert 10 cents moron.
Kenny: Damn.
He hangs up and the killer is right behind him.
Kenny: Uh oh.
The killer lifts him up and stabs a knife in his back. Blood comes out of mouth. The killer drops the body.
Kenny: Goodbye cruel world.
Kenny jumps up.
Kenny: And in case I don't see ya good afternoon, good evening and good night.
He falls down dead.
Title Card: HALLOWEENIE. THE CURSE OF THE SMILEY-FACED KILLER.