Five Things That Never Happened, a teen titans fanfic

Disclaimer: As usual, nothing in this belongs to me but the phrases themselves.

A/N: Just a little thing that's been growing in my head for a while. I figured half term was a good time to write it.

Addendum: For my grandfather, who died in my arms at 9pm on 11th November 2006. I miss you, Gargam.

Five Things That Never Happened

Terra slowly uncurled her fists and opened her eyes. It took a few moments for the adrenaline to leech bright spots from her vision, but once they'd dispersed she took stock.

Giant scorpion: Squished.

Ew. Fantastic, but ew.

Delicate footsteps alerted her to her the presence of her rescuers. Terra fell into a habitual defensive pose, geokinesis weighing up the nearest rocks she'd been too petrified to use on the scorpion. Big rock. Little rock. Perfect-for-bashing-in-brains rock.

The parts of her brain not reproaching her for freezing up took note of the little green jumpsuit, the wide shoulders and the vivid hairdo – especially the hairdo.

How is it possible to flatten a monster bug and not have a hair out of place? She was mussed from running and smelled like the testing room in a deodorant factory.

"You're not from around these parts, are you?" asked the vivid hairdo.

"Is it that obvious?"

"If you were, no way would you have gone near the quarry until the Titans finished clearing out Star Labs' latest mistake."

Terra arched an eyebrow. "I hope that means there aren't anymore of those things."

"Not unless you want to test their most up-to-date growth serum."

"Uh, I'll pass. And thanks. I owe you guys, big time." She straightened. "I'm Terra."

The small bald kid – waitaminute, bald? She'd heard of premature baldness, but he didn't look older than ten! - hocked a lugey and spat it at her feet.

The other girl gestured, and the mountain of hairy muscle cuffed him. It was clear who was in charge. Vivid hairdo smiled broadly, nodding at Terra and yet not at her at all; acknowledging the pile of rubble Terra had managed to bring down before she froze up.

"I'm Jinx. This is Gizmo and Mammoth. And I think this might be the beginning of a beautiful friendship."

"It's not so bad." She hunkered down next to him while he drew patterns in the dirt with a finger. "Sure the scenery's lousy, but on the plus side I never get hungry."

Beast Boy looked at her askance.

"Really."

He raised his eyebrows.

"Okay, okay, so I could kill for a doughnut now and then, but that's not because I'm hungry. You never eat a doughnut because you're hungry. I just sometimes really want a doughnut. There, you happy?"

There was a long pause before he answered. "Jelly or ring?"

Her face melted into a relieved grin. She pretended to think, tapping at her chin and sitting on her own anchored feet. You could see them through her midriff. "Neither. Custard."

Beast Boy stuck out his tongue. "That is just wrong."

"Says the guy who eats tofu."

Arella watched her daughter step towards the portal. Raven always carried herself with such poise, like she was a princess who had been taught courtly deportment since birth. That it was instinctive only increased her quiet dignity.

The seers gathered behind Arella. She could feel them there, though they said nothing, merely watched as she did. Raven's departure prompted mixed feelings from them: anger at the loss of Azarath's most promising sorceress in decades; sadness she had to go; and relief that she was leaving. They buzzed with emotions Arella's blunt human senses could only scratch at, like a chicken in a farmyard of hard-packed dirt.

She ignored them all. The prophecy had played a part, but it'd been Raven's own decision to leave the only home she'd ever known.

Arella knew Earth. She knew how unforgiving it was. She wasn't sure how Raven would cope there without her support network. Her books would help, but you couldn't equate dusty old tomes to physical contact, and Raven was already so reserved …

"It is better this way," said one of the seers.

"She will come to no harm from such a primitive dimension," observed another. Arella wanted to hit him, but refrained. The seers had rescued her from the brink of death, nursed her through a complicated pregnancy, and then welcomed Raven into their ranks until her destiny turned their minds – if not their hearts – against her.

"Earth may be primitive," she replied, "but even primitives can be dangerous to the unwary."

The seer coughed politely but dismissively.

And all at once Arella couldn't bear to stand there with them. Before she knew what she was doing, her feet had carried her down the Sanctuary's stone steps and across the courtyard. She heard a shrill voice and realised with some consternation that it was her own. She sounded like a gull crying for its chick.

"Wait!"

Raven turned. Though her reserved nature meant Arella usually contented herself with memories of holding her as a baby, she couldn't stop herself from wrapping her only daughter in a fierce hug: a bone-crushing hug; A hug that contained all the pain and regret welling within Arella's heart. When she pulled away Raven looked quite startled.

"I shall go with you," Arella said firmly. "I won't leave you to face your destiny alone."

"But Mother - " Raven started. Arella silenced her with a finger to the lips.

"I shall go with you to Earth. I will not leave you to face your destiny alone."

The Gordanians accepted their cargo tentatively, which was only to be expected. Being presented with a creature capable of tearing a titanium hull in two without breaking a sweat would make anyone edgy.

"A thousand thanks," said the captain. "We were much troubled by this one's escape."

Inside the energy web, the Tamaranean shrieked in its guttural language. To the captain, every mouthful sounded like ground up nails and glass being spat against stone. He couldn't understand a word, nor did he want to. He wasn't paid to understand, only to do his job; in this instance, bring the cargo in so it could be catalogued, classified and assigned a placement within the Great Empire.

The being who had recovered the prisoner smiled. His silvery skin glinted in the overhead lightning. "No problem."

"We shall see about payment for your voluntary services. The Gordanian Empire is most grateful to those who aid it…"

"Thanks. Not that I won't accept a reward, but I was glad to do it. Things have been a little slow lately, so I needed the practice. Can't lose my touch, right? And the day I can't secure a runaway troq is the day I retire."

"Hey." Robin's greeting was formally informal. Even the raised hand seemed like formality.

"Hey." Cyborg wasn't much better. He nodded. Robin nodded. Much with the nodding.

They stood there for a second, snared in a loaded pause.

Then Beast Boy cried, "Cool! You got a disco ball? Aw, man, that is so not fair!"

Robin arched an eyebrow. "A disco ball?"

"You never let me have one."

"Right."

"I'm happy with my disco ball."

"Uh-huh."

A thud signalled someone trying to get through the sliding doors before they'd had time to open fully. Cy really needed to look into the timing of those things, but with one thing and another he kept forgetting. There was just so much to do. He'd barely waxed the T-Car all week, and had clocked only two thirds his optimum hours on the recharge bed.

Bumblebee sped through the door, buzzing into the room with Speedy running ahead of her. She had a face that made Brother Blood at his angriest look like a fluffy kitten called Miffles.

"You get back here so I can punch you! I'm gonna wring your scrawny neck, then I'm gonna rip off your ears and stab you with 'em, and then I'm gonna take that bow of yours and shove it - "

Cyborg winced. "Hey, hey, hey! What'd I tell you two about making a scene in front of company?"

The pair froze – literally. Speedy bent backwards over the handrail, Bee's hands wrapped loosely around his throat. Rather than scraped into its usual style, her hair fell in damp coils about her face, and she wore a mismatching top and shorts.

"Hey, guys," Speedy said, raising a hand.

"Yeah, hi," Bee added distractedly. "Listen, can we cut to the chase this once and skip the etiquette so I can get on with killing him?"

Starfire was dismayed. "But you must not threaten such a thing! It is terribly bad luck, and just plain mean!"

Bee shrugged. "Works for me."

"What did he do this time?" Raven asked, mildly amused – an achievement for her so early in a trip.

Bee growled, "I caught this joker spying on me in the bathroom."

"I swear I was just looking to borrow some toothpaste."

"Liar! You knew I was in the shower. You were ogling and you know it."

"Hey, if I wanted to ogle, I wouldn't be hanging around our bathroom."

"Why you insulting pile of - "

Cy winced again. When the door slid shut behind them he waved a limp hand, as though lacking the energy to make any more of an effort. The scene was one he was fast getting familiar with – and tired of. "Team dismissed."

"So," said Robin, edging up beside him, "what do you think of being leader?" He didn't smirk or look knowingly out the corner of his mask. He was Robin, for crying out loud.

Cy didn't even hesitate. "I can see why you go temporarily nuts."

fin.